Clock6789

Okay I’m going to ask a stupid question.  I’ve had erotic massages before but I didn’t really know how to behave.  What is the usual encounter like for most people and how erotic (and mutual) do you get?
The few I’ve had, I was naked face down, felt mostly like a normal massage.  During one of them when face up, one i asked the masseur to actually remove his underwear and I fondled a little.  The face up part was pretty…direct to the task.  
What’s considered fair game during one of these?  How much fondling, any oral, etc?  How kinky or mutual do people get?  I don’t know what to really expect or what to ask for.  Obviously sometimes you need to discuss beforehand but I just want to know others’ experiences (and sometimes when i do ask i start getting upselled to full escort services/prices).  Being face down for a pretty average massage then a quickie HJ doesn’t cover the cost I guess.  
 
ps. I posted this in an older thread and figure I’d post as a new topic.  Just discovered these forums…I love this site!

Thank you all for your replies and the links to other discussions.  Very informative, I appreciate it.
Not sure why the original post was not formatted correctly…I did not change any settings when posting.  I am using dark mode myself.

Thank you all for your replies and the links to other discussions.  Very informative, I appreciate it.
Not sure why the original post was not formatted correctly…I did not change any settings when posting.  I am using dark mode myself.

I don't think that is unrealistic at all.  In fact, I would think that providers would prefer to have clear, direct communication as it benefits both sides.  That being said, I've found that many providers do not answer most of the questions I've asked.  (ie. I ask in which area they are hosting so I can determine drive time)  I tend to get some very vague replies which means I generally won't book them.   

For starters, providers should answer directly the basics like rates, location, travel, and hosting info. There is no reason to be coy or indirect about those. Bad on them if they won’t send basic info upfront. That’s a sign of an unprofessional or inexperienced provider.
As far as what the provider wants (compensation) or what will get him off, this question isn’t particularly fair to ask. He’s providing a service to YOU, not a service to himself. He may not be into doing a certain thing you want, or maybe he likes it generally but doesn’t enjoy it with you specifically. You don’t want to know this, and he doesn’t want to spoil anything by sharing that fact with you.
It matters not what theoretically will please him. It only matters what he is willing and able to do for you for a specified fee. If he’s good, he will make it seem as if he’s into it regardless of whether he actually is. That’s what you’re paying for. No amount of money will guarantee that he will genuinely be into anything with a certain client. He could make something up to make you feel like you’re scratching his itch, but at the end of the day it’s a coin toss at best whether he will actually genuinely enjoy a certain act with a certain person at a certain place at a certain time.
Since you’re paying for him to do what you’re into and meet YOUR needs, the question is irrelevant. You’re basically asking him to lie or make something up. Sure, he can generally be into a certain thing. If there’s genuine chemistry, all the better, but you can’t guarantee that chemistry occurs by specifying certain acts!
It’s ok to ask “can we do xyz?”. It’s annoying to ask a provider “What are you into?”. Save that for hookups. To successfully hook up, both sides have to genuinely be interested in one another and the activities they discuss. The currency there is reciprocity. Both parties genuinely want to engage. The reward is purely mutual satisfaction.
You’re trying to apply these same principles and logic from a hookup to a paid service. The incentive for your provider is compensation. Period. Not mutual satisfaction. If there happens to be some mutual satisfaction, it’s a bonus. At the end of the day, the provider is concerned with meeting YOUR needs and getting compensated appropriately for doing so. To pretend like he is doing this because he wants to on his own free time is an illusion.
The relationship is inherently one-sided. You can keep asking the “what are you into?” questions, but you’re asking him to bullshit you. I recommend focusing on your needs and not trying to manufacture imaginary reciprocal desires. His needs are compensation, plain and simple. If you can hold up your end of the agreement, the rest is irrelevant. Let him do his job by meeting your needs and making it seem as though he’s into it regardless. It’s your responsibility to engage the fantasy. Suspend your disbelief, as it were. He can’t do that for you. He can only put on a good show for your entertainment. That’s what you’re paying for.

When I communicate with providers I try to be specific, direct, and to not dripfeed my needs or limits as a client. So I say some version of:
“I like this and that (I’m quite specific),
I dislike these things (again, with specifics),
I’m open to much more depending on your own wants. 
What works for you and what would make it a fun session that you could get into? It’s very important to me that you are enjoying our time, or I will not be able to get into it.”
The typical response back is, “Sounds great! Let’s meet.” That is, I get zero feedback on which activities will be of most interest to the provider, and zero insight into what he really likes.
I find this very annoying because I’m so clear that I actually need that information. Asking multiple times gets me nowhere.
 
Am I being unrealistic? How can I get a provider to understand that I want to please him as much as be pleased, so that he’ll make suggestions? 

Here is the infographic that Ive been using for YEARS. But recently ive been told from a friend when you are almost done douching, do some jumping jacks to help move any liquid.
How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex | Illustrated guide for douching your rectum, how to properly get an enema in your own shower. Get your ass clean for fucking, fisting, dildoes, rimming, anal play.
HOWTOCLEANYOURASS.WORDPRESS.COM This is the home page's excerpt  

This is a good tactic. With some massage clients who book a 2 hour session I offer them the chance to blow their load right at the start. If he’s really excited and is prone to cunning before he wants to then we just call it and I suck him off before he gets in the table. That way he can relax into the massage and really enjoy that without the tension ‘down there’. Then I build him up again over the 2 hours to a second climax. It’s a nice structure to a 2 hour massage.