Great posts @lseactuary90. You seem like a smart and self-reflective and insightful guy.
A few thoughts.
First a couple of things jumped out at me in your posts. You mentioned you have yet to find someone who has "selected" you. It doesn't really work that way. You select each other and the "selection" works its way through a very gradual process so subtle you almost don't know it's happening till it has happened.
You also mentioned your therapist blames a lot of this on nyc. That's nonsense. I, too, am a therapist/ psychologist in nyc and to blame it on nyc is to pass the buck. You might want to consider a break and interview other therapists.
Some of the advice here has been good and some is full of stereotyping and homophobia. I'm sure you know who and what to ignore. You already wisely told one guy to fuck off. Good for you. He keeps jabbering but that's on him.
Have you thought about asking the massage therapist out on a date? Just a crazy wild thought.