Barebacking, Corbin Fischer, and other supporters.

[RockHard]

Since the other thread is specious but false, I'll put my thoughts here.

 

I can't speak to Corbin Fischer's site because he doesn't feel Apple users constitute enough business to motivate him to "fix" his delinquent software. Therefore, my hard-earned dollars go to Sean Cody, who also requires a license to view but offers cross-platform user-friendliness. I feel any internet businessman, gay or not, who prefers to sleep exclusively with Bill Gates can go fuck himself.

 

As for barebacking:

 

It seems, after living 20 years into the age of AIDS, this dangerous behavior has morphed into some kind of constitutional gay right for some, a right-of-passage decree on the "new militant" gay-pride agenda - a kind of psychological pat-on-the-back for gay men who prefer to live in denial, who are sick to death of AIDS, but more frightening, are sick to death of living with "protected" sex. Condom-less = liberated. Like hell it does.

 

In other words, bareback sex (in the context of anonymous, promiscuous encounters) is a way for any man to say fuck you to civilized society, fuck you to science, fuck you to health care, fuck you to god, faith and religion, fuck you to anyone who judges, preaches or lectures (regardless of loving intent and self-inflicted hypocrisy, ortherwise known as foot-in-mouth disease), fuck you to family, fuck you to friends and, most destructively, fuck you to himself. It's the ultimate "I don't care about ANYTHING except MY next orgasm" act that any man can perform. Now there's something to be proud of.

 

Can we rid our culture of self-hatred and gay men who are obsessed with a life of self-pleasure? Probably not. There's no such thing as a perfect world.

 

Of course I miss a condom-less fuck. Goodness knows, it's been over 20 years. But I also miss dessert after every meal, lower energy prices, easier travel, and all my friends who died of AIDS. We can learn to adapt, especially if our health and sanity depends on it.

 

Every time I see a moment of bareback sex I'm reminded of all my dead friends. Talk about a bullet to my erection. To think at one time herpes was my greatest anonymous-sex fear.

 

I am lucky. I have a very good reason to want to live and stay healthy. I have a son and we share a relationship filled with unconditional love. Plus, I'm not tortured by the need to jack off four times or more a day.

 

Not every gay man is happy and many are struggling in a world that often seems cold and heartless. How can I help them? The only way I know how is to speak against self-hatred, encourage helpful therapy, donate a lot of money to worthy causes, and close my wallet to businesses that don't share my outlook on healthy living.

 

I'm not for censorship or regulating speech and free choice. Barebacking is not illegal and smart men know how to work around many risks. However, not all businesses have your health and well-being in mind and not all businesses are run by good people. Make no mistake, evil exists, and money often leads the way. Yes, the point of any business is to make money but the character of a businessman doesn't end there. What can be said of any businessman who profits from those most vulnerable (especially in the name of freedom in the age of AIDS)?

 

I refuse to give one penny to any man who aligns himself in any way to promoting the bareback mantra and I refuse to hire or recommend any escort who aligns himself with bareback sex. Yes, there is a free choice and I choose NO.

 

ps Scott Adler is right. There are serious conflict-of-interest issues when certain businesses are aligned with other certain businesses. The results can spell disaster. Escorts beware, you may just get what you ask for.

[RockHard]

I appreciate the men who write me privately, especially the smart ones who wish to explore any subject or opinion expressed here in a dignified and intelligent manner. I'd prefer my private emailers to post here, especially my favorite ones, but I respect their decision to do otherwise, whatever their reasons. I wish I had the time to address every individual so please forgive me for posting some general responses here.

 

Let me be clearer:

 

"I'm not for censorship or regulating speech and free choice. Barebacking is not illegal and smart men know how to work around many risks.

 

I believe what adult men agree to do in their private worlds should remain private. We all live and die influenced by the decisions we make in life and nobody else can assume responsibility for those decisions.

 

But what can be said of adults who seek to make money while ignoring the vulnerability of our youngest gay men and their future health? I guess it should come as no surprise that I'm against tobacco companies who targeted teens in advertising.

 

I have no personal problem engaging in condom-free anal sex as long as I know and trust my partner, and know and trust his sexual and medical history. Not every gay man is a liar or a sex addict and there are many of us who have been hiv- for many, many years and intend to keep it that way, no matter what kind of discipline and sacrifice that requires.

 

Many of us have no problem proving our hiv status when the issue of trust enters into a playful situation. Trust is a crucial factor in any encounter. It's especially crucial when deciding to expose yourself to a life filled with countless medications that wreak havoc on the human body and an incurable sexually-transmitted virus that may result in death. Do any of these anonyomous bareback supporters deserve the trust of young, inexperienced men? Should we make them rich with our money?

 

As far as I'm concerned, my bareback rant is about my personal decision to not support certain kinds of business and the potential for conflict-of-business issues for escorts. I speak only for myself. My opinions are mine and mine alone. I NEVER tell anyone what to do or how they should live their life. I simply share how I live my life and how I come to my own decisions.

 

Obviously, an escort who openly engages in condom-less anal sex will most likely have no issue being associated with bareback-promoting sites. I don't think the same holds true for safe-sex escorts.

 

Furthermore, my opinions have nothing to do with free sites, with politics, or with private, consensual behavior. Any blogger who twists my words has his own agenda. The same is true of any businessman hiding behind ownership of domain names and tap-dancing around culpability. I own several domain names/business interests, too, and the tap-dance comments always make me chuckle. Forgive me for my business cynicism. I've been making money a long time.

 

People who promote jealousy as a reason for a smart, differing opinion are the true ignoramuses. Deluded, ego-bloated assholes they are who probably haven't a decent pot to piss in. It should be no surprise to any forum reader when a blogger, who uses the term "holier than thou" to criticize, presents his counter argument with the same "holier than thou" fervor. Hypocrites are a dime a dozen in life and they thrive in blogdom: another very good reason to click "ignore" and leave the "comment" fields empty.

[SAdler]

>ps Scott Adler is right. There are serious

>conflict-of-interest issues when certain businesses are

>aligned with other certain businesses. The results can spell

>disaster. Escorts beware, you may just get what you ask for.

 

Yeah, I thought my post was pretty damned insightful too Where the hell did the thread go?

[Guest ncm2169]

Rockhard, I couldn't agree more. But sadly, CF will probably have a net gain in memberships. x(

[Guest ncm2169]

I was just going to ask the same question. x(

[VaHawk]

Isn't it just HILARIOUS!?? when people who prostitute others over the internet, who use, buy and sell illegal drugs (leading to the countless deaths of innocents, including children), and who openly engage in the illegal act of prostitution, feel morally bound to rant and rail against and judge consenting adults engaged in LEGAL activities??? :7 :7

[flguy]

Scott, What thread is missing and where was it posted???

[Barry]

I deleted the thread at the request of the original author. He made an error and the error was becoming the subject.

 

Barry

[Steven_Draker]

>I deleted the thread at the request of the original author.

>He made an error and the error was becoming the subject.

 

Why didn't the author request to edit the name only ?

Everybody can make a mistake.

 

Steven Draker ~

[+ deej]

>Why didn't the author request to edit the

>name only ?

>Everybody can make a mistake.

 

Never occurred to him, probably.

 

And if Barry had changed just the subject, he would have had to heavily edit/delete from the rest of the thread to make some sense of it, and then people would be bitching about that.

 

This one was a no-win situation for the moderators.

[SAdler]

Hmmm ok but not to be full of myself but my post was PRETTY DAMNED GOOD LOL. Any chance Barry could find it in the bowels of the trash somewhere?

 

I'd just hate for this to turn into the "There I've said it" scene in the Live Season Finale of Will and Grace. Obscure reference I know but if you watch the show you'd get it and laugh

 

"There I've said it."

 

...I'm sure you'll agree

[+ deej]

LOL -- not as obscure as you think.

 

Unfortunately, there's no recycle bin. Once he clicked delete, the post was gone forever.

 

You could always post it again. (It WAS pretty darn good! :-))

[SAdler]

I only save the posts that I make sure to spell, grammar, and findlaw research first before posting Usually no other reason to save the others

 

In essence though it was basically a blanket post that made all the strong epipheny style valuable statements that everyone else is trickling in for this post and the sister post on the other board.

 

Deej, the appropriate response to really seal that joke would have been. "Yeah Scott, it WAS a damned good post. There I've said it." :+

[SAdler]

Hot Dayum, Thanks NN ...

 

too bad I didn't read my eMail before I just posted

 

Here is the phantom lost post!

 

>The only thing is that they barebacked for this scene. It was

>very hot but we all know the danger of this practice. Im my

>opinion I think [Corbin Fisher] should discourage this practice. >As owner of the site he should know better.

 

DEFINITELY two sides to this. Wow yes incredibly hot for

the purpose of the site. The site sells a fantasy, a place

where certain considerations dont have to be take into account

before, during or after having sex. This is one of the perfects

cases of this fantasy.

 

It's my assumption to date that barebacking in porn isn't

illegal or the thousands and then some videos coming out

regularly would be taken off the shelves and production

companies bankrupted. But just like in THIS industry there

is a "reputation" at work here, which is why it's SO important

that your initial inorrect naming post sucked. Now Corbin

Fisher will be associated with barebacking. A great deal

many of their "gay" models might be inclined to stop working

for them because of the association. Their clientele might

INCREASE because of this, but the repercussions will be seen

soon I'm sure.

 

People who watch porn about unsafe sex don't infect people,

infected people who have sex unprotected infect people.

[Guest zipperzone]

Say a poz pornstar fucks bareback another poz pornstar - is that so bad?

 

How do we know the status of the actors we are making such a fuss about?

[RockHard]

"Say a poz pornstar fucks bareback another poz pornstar - is that so bad?"

 

This is an important question that will most likely get more informed answers elsewhere. Denial is a major issue among many gay bloggers who continue to, or formerly, post here as many gay men suffer from undiagnosed sexual addiction. Men who promote barebacking in the age of AIDS as an acceptable form of sex ARE IN DENIAL. (Of course, free speech permits you to remain in denial.)

 

"Poz" sex parties have been getting a ton of press recently because there is, and has been, tremendous concern within the HIV medical research community (see SMART Study) that new, more drug resistant strains of HIV are on the horizon.

 

The infamous drug "cocktail," in all its therapy regimens, has not worked for hundreds of thousands of gay men. There are strains of HIV that remain drug resistant and these men die terrible deaths. I'm sure I'm not the only gay man on this board who knew or knows someone in this dreadful position. If a poz gay man suddenly develops an infection involving a new HIV strain, it's very possible his successful drug regimen will no longer be effective.

 

The great fear among researchers is that unprotected sex among poz partners can facilitate re-infection and the development of new, drug-resistant strains of HIV. There are no drug therapies for new strains of HIV. In many ways, we gay men would have to start all over again, repeating the horrors of the late 70's, early 80's.

 

Unprotected sex among poz gay men also leaves a wide door open to inviting other very dangerous STD's, especially Herpes and Hepatitis. Many poz gay men who do well on their meds still die from Hepititis. Many HIV doctors believe Herpes is a leading precursor to HIV infection.

 

Unprotected, anonymous sex is not a healthy choice. My God, look what many of us have lived through. What more will it take for all gay men to get the message? How much more death and destruction and loss of loved ones must we endure? And all for the sake of a stupid, 30 second orgasm.

[undah2o]

I could not agree more. As a very happy client of a few guys here I would be really concerned if I was to believe that they were barebacking elsewhere. Where is the trust that we (you and I) are not going to knowingly engage in a potentially devastating and lethal act. To those of you who refuse to bareback..THANKS.

[Guest alanm]

I have disagreed with many of RockHard's comments over the last months. No disagreement on this thread. He has it exactly right about the dangers of barebacking for those who are positive and negative. RockHard has made all the right points, no need to repeat them again. I have also lost many friends; it makes me damn mad that I can never again pick up the phone to call so many people.

 

I do wonder about ALL the people who e-mail RockHard privately, rather than post on this site. Things are much calmer here. Can anyone imagine

a thread entitled "10 Things I Love About Ben" making it through without any negative comments 4 or 5 months ago?

[+ Lucky]

RE: Barebacking

 

As alan, RockHard, and others pont out, many of us lost more friends than we ever could have imagined to this disease called AIDS and don't want to lose more. But as the media are starting to point out, most recently in yesterday's NY Times, even gay doctors are throwing up their hands and prescribing HIV drugs to negative guys who insist on barebacking. The new cocktail is Viread, Viagra, and Valium. Definitely a roll of the dice.

[RockHard]

RE: Private emails

 

alanm, thank you for your kind words.

 

"I do wonder about ALL the people who e-mail RockHard privately"

 

When I first registered here back in September, I had no idea how many people this site and its forum attracted. It took me a while to find and analyze some of the numbers but, eventually, I discovered there's a substantial number of men (guests) who view the Message Center but never register and never post. I'm sure Daddy is aware of these numbers.

 

It didn't take long, especially once I began to step on a few veteran troublemaker's toes (I had no idea who the sour old-timers were but quickly learned), to see unknown email addresses in my Yahoo inbox, referencing the MC in the subject line. I also discovered the internal messaging this forum offers once I figured out what the bird icon meant. Working at a multi-screen workstation and multi-tasking does throw me off-focus sometimes.

 

I was quite surprised to hear from numerous men, escorts and fellow customers alike, with encouraging words of appreciation and thoughtful commentary. It pleased me to discover there are some great guys who read this Message Center often and I enjoy conversing with them. I happen to consider myself a great guy and I refused to believe others like me didn't exist on this site. I'm happy to say they do, but, unfortunately, many of them prefer to keep quiet.

 

And who can really blame them given the contentious, belligerent atmosphere I encountered shortly after I joined and the Sith attacks I regularly receive? (Athough, it seems, some of the assholes are gone. Thank you, Daddy!)

 

I shared a few heated MC exchanges with several NYC friends (for laughs) and every single friend asked me if I was crazy. "Why on earth would I want to dance with these bitter wolves?," they asked. None of them could understand why I had ANY interest in engaging with such hate-filled queens, and all I could say in response is, "But they're not all like that!" Yet, all of them agreed, beyond the bullshit and the ugly, there might be some helpful info in these posts. You all know how I feel about that.

 

Discretion is a word that's seems pretty chewed-up around these parts, but I prefer to exercise it and will not name any names. The escorts and customers whom I enjoy privately and on this board know who they are and they are always welcome in my inbox.

 

Thank you all for reading my posts.

[Guest alanm]

RE: Private emails

 

I really appreciate your kind words and explanation, RockHard.

[Steven_Draker]

Thank you, RockHard for your post.

I already stated my opinion about barebacking in other threads.

You'll be surprised how many people would engage in unprotected activities. I believe there use to be one poster who would chase the escorts who advertise as safe, but play bareback and post their names.

 

Yes, barebacking is a choice and I choose not to.

 

Steven Draker ~

 

http://www.rentboy.com/location/getrb.asp?rentboy=61672&Location=103

[TotallyOz]

>I refuse to give one penny to any man who aligns himself in

>any way to promoting the bareback mantra

 

Rockhard,

 

Can I assume that you apply this same morality to sites that generate their revenue off of bareback items? If so, perhaps you need to look at how other sites make money. Many sites make money from affiliate programs that are supplying Bareback content and some make a large part of their business off of this content.

 

An AEBN link on a site tells you the 5 most popular videos from their store on the homepage. Guess what? All 5 of them are bareback. Would you support a site that makes revenue from this link? Think very carefully before you answer that question and be sure to look at the links for all the sites you visit and contribute to.

 

Any site that has a link to TLA video store has a very large selection of bareback videos. Does that bother you? Some sites even have a HookUpNow feature; you will see that it goes to a site that advertises to the bareback market.

 

Is this ok in your opinion? I am just curious to see how far your morality goes on the subject. I am not in the least saying that you should not be a member of any site or that you should go to any other. I am simply saying if your beliefs are really that strong, do they go beyond a domain name? Do they then extend to the way other sites make their profits and survive?

 

I do firmly believe that you should not feel compelled to be a member of any site that you do not want to participate in. However, I also believe that you are the only one that can determine where the line is drawn. Perhaps your line is drawn when the name bareback in the domain name. Perhaps your line is drawn when someone states in one profile on a site that they bareback? Or, it is only if several thousand of them state they bareback? Perhaps your line is drawn when a site makes money and states on the hyperlink, click here to support bareback. I don’t know the answers to those questions, as I am not you. I do see that you have very strong feelings on the subject and I am just curious if those feelings also apply to any site that makes a significant amount of money selling bareback items. In any case, I do wish you the best and I am only trying to learn from you, as you seem to have some very valid points in several of your discussions.

 

TotallyOz

[RockHard]

Do I know you?

 

TotallyOz, as Barbra Streisand once asked me many years ago, "Do I know you?"

 

Contrary to how my statements and opinions may read to some, I don't consider myself a moralist. Everyone knows (who read my posts) I don't believe escorting should be illegal. Not every law is right and this one should be struck down like the sodomy laws and the profession should be regulated by each city's health department, much like the regulation of estheticians. Maybe one day.

 

The word "morality" never appears in any of my posts and probably never will, and for good reason. I see you didn't hesitate to use the word more than once.

 

If your intention was to define "moral" to mean, "of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior," then the appropriate way for me to respond is: what's right and wrong for me is for me, which is why I write in the first person. I have no problem discussing how I spend my money and how I live my life but you will never hear me tell someone else that they should do the same. I'm a firm believer that readers remain free to use their own brain and make their own choices. I'm content if they simply choose to think.

 

Since I don't know you, I have little desire to engage you with your request to play semantic jump-rope on the purchasing power of an ethically-minded consumer.

 

Being a smart and successful businessman, I know how to avoid the potential for conflict-of-interest issues while owning multiple businesses, even acquisitions as simple as multiple domain names. If I knew you better and I knew your gag reflex worked as well as Scott Adler's, and had some experience with that, I'd probably have no problem sharing my business expertise with you. I enjoy being generous.

 

But here's a little tidbit that won't cost you a blow-job:

 

I believe any business that aligns itself in any way with bareback.com is a business with very limited appeal, especially in the age of AIDS. Escorts and their customers who are serious about safe-sex perceptions and precautions would be smart to think twice before "signing on" to this alignment.

 

No matter how you cut it, perception is a key component in any successful enterprise. If you get this component wrong from the outset, you may cut your nose to spite your face. Time will tell.

[Guest alanm]

>You'll be surprised how many people would engage in

>unprotected activities.

 

Sadly few people on this site would be surprised, Steven.

 

I am sure what I am about to write has happened to almost everyone at one time or another, in some variation. I very recently almost had sex with a great looking guy whom I met at a bar (not an escort). We had a safe sex discussion, but once we got into bed he tried every TRICK in the book to distract me into unprotected sex. He wasn't successful because I know what I am doing and never drink more than a two beers in this type of situation. If I was 20 years younger, with a different life experience and many more beers or something stronger, the situation may have turned out differently.