Think Before You Speak

[+ Avalon]

There was a female co-worker who I thought was blonde. One day she came in with dark hair. I said "Oh you dyed your hair".

 

I once complemented another female on her dress saying "My grandmother had a dress like that".

 

It was me so neither took offense. I meant no ill. But a straight male co-worker chastised me. I know nothing about women.

 

Another time a female co-worker brought her new grandson in to show off. My first words were "I didn't know your son got married". She replied that he hadn't.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

I was bullied in high school. I was hit, spit and urinated on. One of the worst of the bullies committed suicide with a gun over some girl. When it was announced my first words were "I hope he suffered". I still regret saying that.

 

But one of the bullies in my senior year apologized to me.

 

Years later I was once called for jury duty. There was a room full of us potential jurors. Our names were called out in alphabetical order. One name called before mine was one of the bullies. I looked over to him. Even after all this time I was afraid. But when my name was called he showed no notice.

 

Btw one of my co-workers was married to the fellow who urinated on me. She and I became good friends. I met him only once but he didn't know me.

 

That's the thing about being bullied. It stays with the victim for life. But the bullies forget.

 

I was also bullied in grade school.

[+ poolboy48220]

at my first professional job, a co-worker that I was pretty friendly with was pregnant. She'd finished her part of something we were working on very quickly, I commented that "You could probably have a baby in 7 months". Someone took me aside later that day & told me she'd miscarried earlier that week.

[+ Avalon]

at my first professional job, a co-worker that I was pretty friendly with was pregnant. She'd finished her part of something we were working on very quickly, I commented that "You could probably have a baby in 7 months". Someone took me aside later that day & told me she'd miscarried earlier that week.

 

Stuff like that can happen.

[craigville beach]

There was a female co-worker who I thought was blonde. One day she came in with dark hair. I said "Oh you dyed your hair".

 

I once complemented another female on her dress saying "My grandmother had a dress like that".

 

It was me so neither took offense. I meant no ill. But a straight male co-worker chastised me. I know nothing about women.

 

Another time a female co-worker brought her new grandson in to show off. My first words were "I didn't know your son got married". She replied that he hadn't.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

I was bullied in high school. I was hit, spit and urinated on. One of the worst of the bullies committed suicide with a gun over some girl. When it was announced my first words were "I hope he suffered". I still regret saying that.

 

But one of the bullies in my senior year apologized to me.

 

Years later I was once called for jury duty. There was a room full of us potential jurors. Our names were called out in alphabetical order. One name called before mine was one of the bullies. I looked over to him. Even after all this time I was afraid. But when my name was called he showed no notice.

 

Btw one of my co-workers was married to the fellow who urinated on me. She and I became good friends. I met him only once but he didn't know me.

 

That's the thing about being bullied. It stays with the victim for life. But the bullies forget.

 

I was also bullied in grade school.

 

I was a victim of workplace bulling. It is a much bigger issue for many than people realize.

[Chuckball]

I have a cousin with whom I was never close. Events in her family had been mentioned as they arose by other family members but I paid little heed.

At a wedding I bumped into that cousin and barely recognized her. To make small talk I asked how her husband and son were. The reply: Both dead. I was so embarrassed in not recalling the tragic events that led to their demise I couldn't even utter the words that was sorry.

[+ sync]

I'm much better now, but in times past I gagged many times from my foot in my mouth.

[jjkrkwood]

I was the chubby Gay kid, so of course, I was bullied all thru public and high school... Things got better once I got to college...

 

BUT, it seems you live in a very small town because you kept crossing paths with people of your past... I live in NYC and never have crossed paths with anyone who bullied me in the past..

 

Most people speak from impulse, and will say things meant innocent enough BUT that come out wrong... If a person seems offended (which might elude you because you never intended to say anything wrong) it would be prudent to just apologize....But we all have OOPS moments.

 

You are correct that the hurt you are dealt and felt in your early years stays with you, but hopefully it made you a stronger, more caring and considerate human being.

[+ Avalon]

I'm much better now, but in times past I gagged many times from my foot in my mouth.

 

 

I did lean a few things when I was young. It was Christmas time. I was under 10. My mother sent my father and I out for the day. When we got back home my mother had set up an artificial tree. It was white with red and pink ornaments. I did not hide my disappointment. My mother was none too happy with me. I learned a lesson that day. Keep my mouth shut over disappointments. My father did buy me a little evergreen tree for my bedroom. We had that white tree for 10+ years.

[+ Avalon]

I was the chubby Gay kid, so of course, I was bullied all thru public and high school... Things got better once I got to college...

 

BUT, it seems you live in a very small town because you kept crossing paths with people of your past... I live in NYC and never have crossed paths with anyone who bullied me in the past..

 

Most people speak from impulse, and will say things meant innocent enough BUT that come out wrong... If a person seems offended (which might elude you because you never intended to say anything wrong) it would be prudent to just apologize....But we all have OOPS moments.

 

You are correct that the hurt you are dealt and felt in your early years stays with you, but hopefully it made you a stronger, more caring and considerate human being.

 

I try to be a kind and nice and polite person. I don't like to argue or fight. In real life I am terribly shy. Also from time-to-time I stutter. I keep things in. In high school I had ulcers.

 

The Summer before sixth grade we moved to the country. In sixth grade I went to a two room wooden school house. The Summer after they replaced it with a three room school house. This year was the 100th anniversary of the school.

 

The high school had maybe 200 students.