Santa Claus Jokes

[+ Avalon]

* Q: What do you call Santa's Helpers?

 

 

A: Subordinate clauses

 

* Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

 

 

A: A dependent Claus.

[+ azdr0710]

Q: how many days until Xmas is over?

 

A: 29

[samhexum]

Girl admits to Santa she’s naughty, still demands AirPods and live panda

 

She put herself on the naughty list.

 

A 9-year-old girl from Essex, UK is going viral after admitting she’s been bad in a letter to Santa, before demanding a mind-boggling list of 12 Christmas gifts, including electronics and exotic animals.

 

“Y’all, look at this letter my little 9y/r sister wrote to Santa,” the girl’s older brother tweeted along with a photo of his sis’s outrageous note.

 

“Dear beloved Father Christmas, I hope you’ve had a wonderful year and you’ve been well,” reads the brazen letter. “My year has been quite the opposite. I’ve tried hard to be good but miserably failed.”

 

The unnamed girl continued, “I’ll be honest I do deserve coal, but please I’d love to have a present. Actually more than one. Here’s a list – tick the boxes if you have done them.”

 

She then proceeded to rattle off a list of ludicrous Christmas requests including Apple AirPods, a Nintendo switch, a Playstation 4 and 5 and a new laptop.

 

If that wasn’t ridiculous enough, the entitled tyke demanded a snake and “a panda and penguin,” which she specified needed to be “not dead.”

 

The demands weren’t limited to mere possessions. The little hellion also asked for a trip to France with a whopping five tickets included.

 

“Hopefully you succeed to fulfill all my requested items,” she wrote.

 

Needless to say, her outlandish list had Twitter in stitches.

 

“There’s no way Santa is going to miss that address,” tweeted one newfound fan.

 

“I feel for the parents,” said another.

 

Others lauded her masterful writing skills. “I don’t know what shocks me more; the fact that you have a 9y/o sister, her handwriting or her use of diction and syntax at that age,” remarked one impressed commenter.

 

 

P.S. Does anyone know what happened to Avalon?

[+ WilliamM]

Last I heard Avalon was in nursing home, but still sending email, but a while ago.

[jtwalker]

Santa was having a terrible year. The elves were behind schedule, Donna and Blitsen had a cold, and Rudolph's nose was burned out. I mean, it was a terrible year. Minus a couple of reindeer and under-powered, he was trying to do a test run with the sleigh and ran that thing right into the North Poll. He was just about to flip his lid when a cute little angel asked him where to put the tree.

 

And that is why there is an angel on the top of the Christmas Tree.

[samhexum]

Last I heard Avalon was in nursing home, but still sending email, but a while ago.

If you hear from him or feel like sending him a note, tell him I said hello. He's not in a good situation covid-wise, so I hope he's okay.

[samhexum]

 

 

 

[samhexum]

[samhexum]

 

[samhexum]

 

 

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Edited December 23, 2020 by samhexum