First time jitters

[caldude]

How does one go about getting over the first time jitters of hiring for the first time? I have been a member of RM for about a year and half and still have not gotten any futher than looking at ads.

 

Should I start with something simple like cocktails and conversation or maybe a massage? Would that tick off an escort?

[+ bashful]

How does one go about getting over the first time jitters

 

No way you'll ever get over them.

 

When it's time, you'll move forward, after having done your due diligence, and make that call, or text. Hopefully you will have a great experience.

[rvwnsd]

...When it's time, you'll move forward, after having done your due diligence, and make that call, or text. Hopefully you will have a great experience.

 

I couldn't agree more.

 

...Should I start with something simple like cocktails and conversation or maybe a massage? Would that tick off an escort?

I don't think hiring an escort to have a few drinks or get a massage would tick off most escorts. Expecting the escort to meet you for drinks at a reduced rate would likely tick him off. Another thing to consider: not all escorts are adept at giving massages.

[+ azdr0710]

I was so nervous at my first meet, my head was swimming and I felt like I might pass out......

 

the best ideas I have are: hire a provider who is very well-reviewed by this forum and/or daddysreviews (not RM), be entirely honest with him about this being your first meet and tell him what you like to do, don't mention money at all (he may quote you his rate in pre-meet chat, though), don't pay upfront and tell him that before the meet (reject anybody who doesn't agree unless they have a peerless rep), and, at the meet, smile, talk sloooowly, look him in the eye, joke a bit, don't talk too much about yourself....if things have stalled a bit, make sure it moves again so you get what you want ("hey, how 'bout I give you a little body rub to loosen up with?")....you may even need to tell the provider ahead of time that he may need to move things along because of your nervousness.....if you can manage, go for a two- or three-hour meet as one hour goes by impossibly fast in contexts like this!....you may want to meet for a quick beer in the lobby first, but don't have more than one drink and move up to the room within 15 or so minutes.....

 

when you know what type guy you like and when and where, come back and ask for suggestions......

[BluDay]

The only way to get over the jitters is to have a session Look for a well-reviewed escort who has good comments about giving a boyfriend experience or has comments about a pleasant conversation style. Tell them it's your first time, and that you might want to start slow. Meeting for drinks somewhere (as suggested) would be a good way to start off easily. Escorts want you to enjoy yourself, so tell them what you want. Asking to start with a massage is another good way. They may not be good at it, but the contact will break a lot of ice.

 

If you like kissing, tell them. If you want to try something and you don't end up liking it, tell them - they will stop. Plain words are best. Escorts may not pick up on your desires, but are willing to do what makes you happy - so help them out by saying what you like. If you like having your balls played with, tell them. Do you like it with light touches, tell them. Full contact with a lot of movement, tell them.

 

New people are actually a standard part of an escort's business, so they will be used to it. Don't feel rushed. Plan on an hour, and if you can afford it, prepare for a second (but be aware the escort may not be able to stay for a second, but if you're not enjoying your time you don't want to have dangled a second hour before them). If you have requests (kissing, sucking, etc.) check before if the escort is on board. Some escorts don't kiss, for example.

 

Also look for an escort who is physically what you are turned on by. This will help, since it will be someone you are attracted to off the bat. You've been watching RM for a while, so you probably have a few in mind.

 

You will have a great time. Spending time with escorts is wonderful, and when you start, I think you'll find it's something you want to do quite a bit.

[caldude]

I couldn't agree more.

 

 

I don't think hiring an escort to have a few drinks or get a massage would tick off most escorts. Expecting the escort to meet you for drinks at a reduced rate would likely tick him off. Another thing to consider: not all escorts are adept at giving massages.

 

No, was not my intent to imply I would ask for a reduced rate. Guess I should have stated my jitters stem from not being as in shape as I was 10-15 years ago when I was a lot more confident. With this extra 30 lbs I've kinda lost that confidence.

[caldude]

I was so nervous at my first meet, my head was swimming and I felt like I might pass out......

 

the best ideas I have are: hire a provider who is very well-reviewed by this forum and/or daddysreviews (not RM), be entirely honest with him about this being your first meet and tell him what you like to do, don't mention money at all (he may quote you his rate in pre-meet chat, though), don't pay upfront and tell him that before the meet (reject anybody who doesn't agree unless they have a peerless rep), and, at the meet, smile, talk sloooowly, look him in the eye, joke a bit, don't talk too much about yourself....if things have stalled a bit, make sure it moves again so you get what you want ("hey, how 'bout I give you a little body rub to loosen up with?")....you may even need to tell the provider ahead of time that he may need to move things along because of your nervousness.....if you can manage, go for a two- or three-hour meet as one hour goes by impossibly fast in contexts like this!....you may want to meet for a quick beer in the lobby first, but don't have more than one drink and move up to the room within 15 or so minutes.....

 

when you know what type guy you like and when and where, come back and ask for suggestions......

 

Really appreciate you taking the time to respond. This is great info!

[BluDay]

Oh, and if you're comfortable revealing your location, or a location you would travel to hire, ask in the Deli forum for suggestions.

[rvwnsd]

No, was not my intent to imply I would ask for a reduced rate. Guess I should have stated my jitters stem from not being as in shape as I was 10-15 years ago when I was a lot more confident. With this extra 30 lbs I've kinda lost that confidence.

Easy for me to say, I know, but don't let being in less than stellar shape worry you. Most escorts do not let a client's looks get in the way of delivering a great time. As @BluDay suggested, posting a "411" thread in The Deli can be helpful. In addition to your location, a brief synopsis of what you do and don't like is helpful when asking for recommendations. It also serves as great practice for when you contact an escort!

 

One (well, more than one ) last thing: It is natural to feel nervous or jittery the first few times you contact someone. Some escorts mention in their ads that they work well with guys hiring for the first time and/or having a man-on-man encounter for the first time. Although I didn't hire them for first-time encounters, two guys who would be excellent for a first-timer are Nate in Long Beach, CA and Rod Hagen in West Hollywood, CA. I've hired both of them and in addition to being very sexy both are absolute sweethearts. Also, when the time is right you will know it. Mention to the guy you contact that you are doing this for the first time. Being open and honest helps!

 

Good luck!!!

[Bearofdistinction]

No, was not my intent to imply I would ask for a reduced rate. Guess I should have stated my jitters stem from not being as in shape as I was 10-15 years ago when I was a lot more confident. With this extra 30 lbs I've kinda lost that confidence.

 

Hey Boo and welcome to the forum === Think of this as the same jitters you would have over a first date with any man.

 

EXCEPT!!! This is the BEST first date EVER~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- BECAUSE you are getting whatever you want ===

 

Now go clean your hole - primp your pubes - find something cute to wear -- Put that Johnny Matthis Album on the turntable - dance alone in the moonlight as the dreams grow and the wine chills waiting for him to knock at your door - and as the first of his smile washes over you he pulls you into his thick masculine arms . . .

 

And before you know it you are wondering why you wasted so much time before calling!

[BluDay]

Guess I should have stated my jitters stem from not being as in shape as I was 10-15 years ago when I was a lot more confident. With this extra 30 lbs I've kinda lost that confidence.

 

Few of us are in as good a shape as we were 10-15 years ago. And this is another thing escorts are really, really good at - giving a good time to a man who isn't in as good of a shape as we want to be. A good escort won't think twice about it, and you will forget it too.

 

From talking to some, and reading here in the forums, escorts are much more concerned with you being clean. Have a shower just before hand. If you will be bottoming, clean out there. Have fresh breath. I avoid cologne for sessions, as I'm not sure if the person I'm with will dislike the scent or if it will cause some other problem (I don't think as many men have this type of allergy as women, but just being safe). But if you're clean, it's not a problem.

 

Don't be worried about the extra weight. Of all the guys I've hired, there isn't a single one that if we were in a bar together each looking for a nighttime companion, I would have scored with. All of them are much better looking than I can pick up. And that's one reason I hire.

 

You will have the time of your life.

[TruthBTold]

I was so nervous at my first meet, my head was swimming and I felt like I might pass out......the best ideas I have are: hire a provider who is very well-reviewed by this forum and/or daddysreviews (not RM), be entirely honest with him about this being your first meet and tell him what you like to do, don't mention money at all (he may quote you his rate in pre-meet chat, though), don't pay upfront and tell him that before the meet (reject anybody who doesn't agree unless they have a peerless rep), and, at the meet, smile, talk sloooowly, look him in the eye, joke a bit, don't talk too much about yourself....if things have stalled a bit, make sure it moves again so you get what you want ("hey, how 'bout I give you a little body rub to loosen up with?")....you may even need to tell the provider ahead of time that he may need to move things along because of your nervousness.....if you can manage, go for a two- or three-hour meet as one hour goes by impossibly fast in contexts like this!....you may want to meet for a quick beer in the lobby first, but don't have more than one drink and move up to the room within 15 or so minutes.....when you know what type guy you like and when and where, come back and ask for suggestions......

 

I agree with it all. A couple of things that I might add. I have never gotten a one-hour session and just made sure I could afford it. I got over my jitters by thinking that this first two-hour session was in many ways a "get-to-know-ya" event and hopefully if we really liked each other I would definitely want to see him again if I could. If there was something that I thought might affect our meeting in a very material way (e.g., medical info) I would communicate that to him and ask to somehow speak to him about it, whether by email, text, or phone. If he has the jitters about it he obviously isn't the guy for you and it is best to know that beforehand. And if he still wants to go ahead you won't waste some precious BJ time talking about it. Moreover, if he is a true professional he will know how to get things started but be prepared if he does not.