Why do straight guys always stare at me? Lol

[Mocha]

I don't know if other people will be able to understand this, But I just want to throw some feelers out to see if maybe others can relate.

 

So I was at the gym the other day, working out minding my business. For the record, I'm not a cruisey gym guy. Nothing wrong with that, but I tend to end up at gyms not known for cruising, so usually I'm not expecting or looking for that.

 

Well, the other night I seen this dude working out. He was dark skin, had a PINK hat and red shoes with orange socks. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but I couldn't help keep checking him out. Also, this area of Florida has a lot of people from the Caribbean islands as well...so I was wary that the straight men can dress kind of colorful. Well, towards the end of my workout...he was working out on a machine, for a long time, and by default I walked past him like 2-3 times. Each time, I could see out the corner of my eye he was looking at me. EACH TIME! Lol. I don't normally hit on guys at the gym, but I felt I had enough signs (the same signs that help me pick up guys at bars) to reach out to him.

 

So, I approached him, introduced myself and had some small talk. Small talk included us kind of complimenting on each other's looks and going beyond gym talk into personal effects. Eventually, I gave him my number. He text me 5 minutes after I left the gym. We chat some more.

 

In order to make sure I was talking to a gay man, I asked him if he was single or married. To my surprise, he texts me that he JUST GOT MARRIED IN JANUARY, then sends me 2 pictures, one of him kissing his wife, looked like at the wedding and another of his wife alone....saying "you might of seen her there." It almost seemed weird, but at that point I still hadn't told him I was gay or liked him in that way. Though....I wonder if I should tell him.

 

This is not the first time it's happened, but it's the first time I was so wrong when I thought I was so close. Earlier this year, I approached a guy at the gym, we exchanged compliments, and I got his number...only for him to respond to my "hint dropping" that he isn't gay or bisexual later in the texts! Lol. Other times, I've had guys...especially other black guys, stare me up and down as if they are interested...even when they are with their girlfriend. What does this mean???

 

Now I be the one feeling like a goddamn clown when that happens....but at the same time it's exciting and just feels so bold to approach a guy at the gym, get his number, and hope something happens lol. But at the same time I'm not a straight chaser, I don't like wasting my time either....however, what if some of these guys actually want some side dick? What if they are willing to fuck around on the spot, but upon thinking later, decide not to?

[kewtex]

I don't know if other people will be able to understand this, But I just want to throw some feelers out to see if maybe others can relate.

 

So I was at the gym the other day, working out minding my business. For the record, I'm not a cruisey gym guy. Nothing wrong with that, but I tend to end up at gyms not known for cruising, so usually I'm not expecting or looking for that.

 

Well, the other night I seen this dude working out. He was dark skin, had a PINK hat and red shoes with orange socks. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but I couldn't help keep checking him out. Also, this area of Florida has a lot of people from the Caribbean islands as well...so I was wary that the straight men can dress kind of colorful. Well, towards the end of my workout...he was working out on a machine, for a long time, and by default I walked past him like 2-3 times. Each time, I could see out the corner of my eye he was looking at me. EACH TIME! Lol. I don't normally hit on guys at the gym, but I felt I had enough signs (the same signs that help me pick up guys at bars) to reach out to him.

 

So, I approached him, introduced myself and had some small talk. Small talk included us kind of complimenting on each other's looks and going beyond gym talk into personal effects. Eventually, I gave him my number. He text me 5 minutes after I left the gym. We chat some more.

 

In order to make sure I was talking to a gay man, I asked him if he was single or married. To my surprise, he texts me that he JUST GOT MARRIED IN JANUARY, then sends me 2 pictures, one of him kissing his wife, looked like at the wedding and another of his wife alone....saying "you might of seen her there." It almost seemed weird, but at that point I still hadn't told him I was gay or liked him in that way. Though....I wonder if I should tell him.

 

This is not the first time it's happened, but it's the first time I was so wrong when I thought I was so close. Earlier this year, I approached a guy at the gym, we exchanged compliments, and I got his number...only for him to respond to my "hint dropping" that he isn't gay or bisexual later in the texts! Lol. Other times, I've had guys...especially other black guys, stare me up and down as if they are interested...even when they are with their girlfriend. What does this mean???

 

Now I be the one feeling like a goddamn clown when that happens....but at the same time it's exciting and just feels so bold to approach a guy at the gym, get his number, and hope something happens lol. But at the same time I'm not a straight chaser, I don't like wasting my time either....however, what if some of these guys actually want some side dick? What if they are willing to fuck around on the spot, but upon thinking later, decide not to?

 

If men are checking you out at the gym, take it as a compliment. The next time a guy chats you up, ask if he'd like to grab a coffee after exercising, You'd get to know him a little better, and see if he really is putting the moves on you. Best case scenario, you'd get to work out all your muscles that evening. Worst case, you'd go to bed alone and caffeinated.

[Mocha]

If men are checking you out at the gym, take it as a compliment. The next time a guy chats you up, ask if he'd like to grab a coffee after exercising, You'd get to know him a little better, and see if he really is putting the moves on you. Best case scenario, you'd get to work out all your muscles that evening. Worst case, you'd go to bed alone and caffeinated.

 

well I have to mention, it's not just at the gym theyre looking. I don't mind to take the compliment, but is them looking going to produce the desired outcome? Or is it just going to remain an unfulfilled fantasy?

 

I notice on the contrary, gay guys (pretend) to not look at me as often. Also, it seems a trite fact: the majority of gay men, don't frequent the gym enough to offer a likely probability of finding one. That's why I rarely see guys from the apps at the gym. So if I see a guy at the gym, I can't think, "I'll look him up on Grindr." Because he's 99% of time, straight and not on Grindr. So once every blue moon, I'll reach out and introduce myself without necessarily showing my hand. Most local gyms I've gone to have been proliferated by (generally assumed) straight guys. I never get approached or hit on at the gym, it's usually been me to make the first move.

 

It's crazy because it seems like there would be much more gays at the gym. But, based on my conversations and general luck meeting guys at the gym, most are either straight and married. I don't know if this is actual fact or just coincidental anecdotes. Though for the most part, my experience has proven this to be fact: I've never hooked up, dated or became friends with a guy at the gym. But I have had that happened numerous times frequenting the gay bars.

[kewtex]

well I have to mention, it's not just at the gym theyre looking. I don't mind to take the compliment, but is them looking going to produce the desired outcome? Or is it just going to remain an unfulfilled fantasy?

 

I notice on the contrary, gay guys (pretend) to not look at me as often. Also, it seems a trite fact: the majority of gay men, don't frequent the gym enough to offer a likely probability of finding one. That's why I rarely see guys from the apps at the gym. So if I see a guy at the gym, I can't think, "I'll look him up on Grindr." Because he's 99% of time, straight and not on Grindr. So once every blue moon, I'll reach out and introduce myself without necessarily showing my hand. Most local gyms I've gone to have been proliferated by (generally assumed) straight guys. I never get approached or hit on at the gym, it's usually been me to make the first move.

 

It's crazy because it seems like there would be much more gays at the gym. But, based on my conversations and general luck meeting guys at the gym, most are either straight and married. I don't know if this is actual fact or just coincidental anecdotes. Though for the most part, my experience has proven this to be fact: I've never hooked up, dated or became friends with a guy at the gym. But I have had that happened numerous times frequenting the gay bars.

 

In theory, people go to the gym to get pumped up, and go to the bar to get picked up. The more open we are to unlimited possibilities, the more we're presented unlimited opportunities.

[+ Robster]

In order to make sure I was talking to a gay man, I asked him if he was single or married.

How would asking that question help you determine whether he's gay or straight? I mean, I know it did in this case, since he sent you pics of his wife, but if he had just said he was married, and left it at that? You do know that we gays can get married now too, right?

 

Rob

[+ Robster]

And as far as hooking up at the gym, the one time I've been to a gym in Palm Springs, I wound up having a three-way in the sauna after my workout. But of course, it was Palm Springs, so there's that.

 

Rob

[kewtex]

You do know that we gays can get married now too, right?

 

I've heard some gay men even marry women!

[BaronArtz]

Married men can be on the DL. I have black friends who grew up in a Southern / Baptist culture which, I am told, is not very gay-friendly. They are under pressure to marry a woman.

[SuenosAmor]

It's natural for guys of all persuasions to check out other guys on the workout floor, so you're probably not going to get a good read there. It's really the locker room where you'll know for sure if he's willing to mess around. Get naked and see who's looking then!

[+ José Soplanucas]

They look at you because you are a sexy mofo, @Mocha . What other explanation could be? Now, if you think they want to hook up with you, you are also a crazy mofo.

[+ pitman]

@Mocha, your predicament reminds me of a problem a "straight" man described in this classic from The Onion:

 

http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-10861

[+ sniper]

My take on this is he's a married guy who plays on the side, many of these guys feel the need to reassert their straightness. My impression of this is he's interested in you as a side piece or maybe even just to jerk off together. There are WAY more heteroflexible guys these days who mess around to varying extents.

I think he wants to do SOMETHING with you, but what that something is could be full-blown sex or very limited ogling.

I know a lot of straight dudebros who only seem to have exceptionally good-looking male friends. I think they're the guys who fall in the 90% straight/10% gay category and they may never actually do anything with these guys other than hang out...but there's a psychosexual element there.

[Mocha]

How would asking that question help you determine whether he's gay or straight? I mean, I know it did in this case, since he sent you pics of his wife, but if he had just said he was married, and left it at that? You do know that we gays can get married now too, right?

 

Rob

 

Because of that very reason! Because in the past, with barbers, gym guys, store clerks etc...if they are married to a woman, whether I ask or not...the wife word eventually comes up. I wanted to speed things up so I didn't let the fantasy mount any further. Of course, I know from many years of experience, that having a wife don't always mean "won't hook up with a guy". There's also no married gay men living in this area of Florida: it's 40 miles south of orlando and though there are gays here, most are single and if they did get married...would NOT wanna stay out here lol. It's not quite palm springs or wilton manors. It's middle class, family oriented, gay spotty suburbs. I should have known!

 

Unfortunately, my lil gym high has definitely crashed and I'm left with a banging hangover. His last message was he was going to universal with his wife, a lil chit chat here and there and subsequent messages fizzled out. I feel like a CLOWN lol (though it was him who was dressed like a clown in all those screaming queen colors. Fucking posers! Lol j/k)

 

At the same time, I did it with little expectation so I'm not disappointed or heart broken. Sometimes I just talk to guys just to see what they're about and to prove to myself that...this is why most gay guys move to gay cities in gay neighborhoods. It's just disappointing sometimes the fact that you're in a gym, the guys of your type are in the gym, you have confidence to speak to someone but then...it turns out they're straight or one of the guys who are only into white guys.

 

That's why some days I just want to say mother....FUCK the gym lol. Only go late nights and because my job as an escort requires me to, plus it's just for my own health benefits. But...the tease of being surrounded by untouchable muscle jocks, when at the time being I'm not really dating and just been focused on clients can be depressing.

[kewtex]

The real reason people are staring at Mocha at the gym.

[+ sniper]

Does this particular gym have a steamroom? seriously even in pretty straight suburbs there tend to be some shenanigans there...