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Your Daily Surrogate Partner Therapy Tip

Lance_Navarro

By + Lance_Navarro
in The Lounge

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Lance_Navarro Proficient

+ Lance_Navarro

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In Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) one of the first lessons and ideas that we try and instill is what's called sensate focus. The idea of it is simply focusing upon the pleasure of touching things. We begin this excercises with objects, having the client touch and caress various objects, and simply focus on the pleasure of exploration. From there we move onto touching of hands, feet and face, and then down the road to exploring more of the body. The idea behind sensate focus is to touch for your own pleasure, not with the intent of bringing pleasure to another.

 

This is highly effective for people going through SPT, who usually have extreme anxiety about intimacy and touch, because it takes the pressure off of doing things "right" or bringing pleasure to the other. I believe however that it is a lesson that we all can learn from. Much like the in-flight instruction of buckling your seat belt before you assist others, we must insure our own needs and pleasure are being met, so that we are able to better connect with others. I encourage everyone to try this the next time they are sharing intimate touch with someone. Take the time to close your eyes, explore their body and focus on your own pleasure, versus trying to bring them pleasure, you might be surprised at the energetic connection that can form.

 

Sending love & light to all you beautiful men!

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Lance_Navarro Proficient

+ Lance_Navarro

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I'm surprised there aren't more comments on this interesting and educational post.

Thanks for saying that. It's always interesting what gains traction on here and what doesn't. Unfortunately, the more negative and sensational wins out over the inspirational and constructive. I, however try not to let it bother me, if a few are moved or inspired, that's enough for me.

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mike carey Grand Master

mike carey

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I, however try not to let it bother me, if a few are moved or inspired, that's enough for me.

Your post has received 11 likes so far, which is quite a lot. I suspect my reaction, of reading and seeing the merit in what you posted but not feeling the need to comment, was a common response. I'm sure I will be inspired afresh with each tip.

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Lance_Navarro Proficient

+ Lance_Navarro

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Your post has received 11 likes so far, which is quite a lot. I suspect my reaction, of reading and seeing the merit in what you posted but not feeling the need to comment, was a common response. I'm sure I will be inspired afresh with each tip.

Thanks sweetie!

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gallahadesquire Grand Master

gallahadesquire

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In Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) one of the first lessons and ideas that we try and instill is what's called sensate focus. The idea of it is simply focusing upon the pleasure of touching things. We begin this excercises with objects, having the client touch and caress various objects, and simply focus on the pleasure of exploration. From there we move onto touching of hands, feet and face, and then down the road to exploring more of the body. The idea behind sensate focus is to touch for your own pleasure, not with the intent of bringing pleasure to another.

 

This is highly effective for people going through SPT, who usually have extreme anxiety about intimacy and touch, because it takes the pressure off of doing things "right" or bringing pleasure to the other. I believe however that it is a lesson that we all can learn from. Much like the in-flight instruction of buckling your seat belt before you assist others, we must insure our own needs and pleasure are being met, so that we are able to better connect with others. I encourage everyone to try this the next time they are sharing intimate touch with someone. Take the time to close your eyes, explore their body and focus on your own pleasure, versus trying to bring them pleasure, you might be surprised at the energetic connection that can form.

 

Sending love & light to all you beautiful men!

 

Thanks for posting this, Lance. It goes against most of my [?our?] instincts of wanting to please.

 

I have an appointment next week. I'll have to try.

 

Thanks for the tip.

 

Question: What if the partner-in-crime is trying the same gambit? Oooooo ... never mind.

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LADoug1 Mentor

LADoug1

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Thanks for saying that. It's always interesting what gains traction on here and what doesn't. Unfortunately, the more negative and sensational wins out over the inspirational and constructive. I, however try not to let it bother me, if a few are moved or inspired, that's enough for me.

 

I certainly am!

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Lance_Navarro Proficient

+ Lance_Navarro

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Would one share and explain sensate focus with the partner he was practicing it on? What an interesting concept! Thank you.

I think it would be helpful to share with the partner what you are practicing, especially if you want them to remain completely passive and not reciprocate touch for a little while. However sensate focus can still be used when there is mutual touch. Also, the sensate focus touching doesn't just have to be done with fingers and hands, can include face, chest, stomach, really any part of the body.

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Funguy Grand Master

+ Funguy

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I think it would be helpful to share with the partner what you are practicing, especially if you want them to remain completely passive and not reciprocate touch for a little while. However sensate focus can still be used when there is mutual touch. Also, the sensate focus touching doesn't just have to be done with fingers and hands, can include face, chest, stomach, really any part of the body.

 

Definitely would like to experiment with you!

Soon! (I know - I have to wait! :()

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