Would you tell an Escort that he has "let himself go"?

[InterestingGuy]

I have a relationship with an escort I saw every couple of months when I was in his town for my business travel.

 

On our first meeting, he was in perfect shape - worked-out, lean and very muscular. Over the past year, each time I have seen him, he has put on more weight. His abs are gone - and a once-great chest is getting flabby.

 

He is very nice and he ontacts me regularly asking when I will be in town again. I have no problem telling him I'm unavailable - but he has no idea it's because he has let himself go.

 

Would you tell him the truth?

[Guest MikeThomas]

No.

[LaffingBear]

Why would you tell anybody that? Can you imagine he really doesn't know what he looks like?

 

Thats like one of those bad sitcom setups where the wife asks hubby, "which one if these outfits makes my butt look bigger?".... The second he says anything, he's doomed.

[Jim Corrigan]

And how in shape are you?

[MiamiLooker]

I have no problem telling him I'm unavailable - but he has no idea it's because he has let himself go.

 

Would you tell him the truth?

I wouldn't bring it up, but I might try to answer truthfully if he asked directly. But a truthful answer would be hard to script without offending or hurting his feelings.

[MartyB]

If I had a great time with this escort even if he's gained a few that would make no difference to me. For this man it's about the connection and chemistry more than a few "less abs" or a bit of a "gut". I am the first to admit that my initial search for an escort is about how they look and it is superficial but once I meet the man and it works well it's far more than that and I would not walk away from a good thing.

[Fyton]

Oh sure, all the time. Plus, "God, WTF do you weigh anyway" and "29 my ass. In dog years maybe."

It really sets the tone.

[mike carey]

Was your good time with him only because he was built? I would have thought that if you had a good time with him, the fact that he had put on weight should make no difference.

[YoungAD]

I have a relationship with an escort I saw every couple of months when I was in his town for my business travel.

 

On our first meeting, he was in perfect shape - worked-out, lean and very muscular. Over the past year, each time I have seen him, he has put on more weight. His abs are gone - and a once-great chest is getting flabby.

 

He is very nice and he ontacts me regularly asking when I will be in town again. I have no problem telling him I'm unavailable - but he has no idea it's because he has let himself go.

 

Would you tell him the truth?

 

No one had forced you to hire this escort and what you are saying comes across as needless and cruel.

[Cliff]

Simply put, 1) don't hire him if you are not attracted to him anymore because I think one is supposed to be actually attracted to the escort he hires and 2) do not hurt his feelings because he is a human being and an escort in that order

[+ José Soplanucas]

You guys sound like talking about a regular hook up/lover relationship. May I remind everyone that we are talking about a sex worker here? When you are a professional of sex you should know that your looks are a big deal of what you are selling. If I find an escort attractive because of the way he looks, it is legitimate to terminate the relationship when the looks change. It does not matter how in shape or good/bad looking the client is, he is paying.

If I did not develop an intimate relationship with the gentleman, I would just let him go. If I do care about him, if he is a human being I truly respect, I would have a caring conversation to explain to him how my lust for him is not anymore. If he is a professional he needs to know that not keeping the same look may cost him clients. A constructive and caring conversation, like in a good exit interview.

[InterestingGuy]

No one had forced you to hire this escort and what you are saying comes across as needless and cruel.

 

What have I said that is cruel?

 

Maybe you should read what I actually wrote before you make accusations.

 

Simply put: I have an Escort whom I have seen several times before who is now CONTACTING ME regularly asking me when I will see him again. I tell him I am unavailable. The question was whether others here would tell him the truth. As I stated already, I am not telling him the real reason.

 

I was just bringing this up to hear other's opinions about what they would do. Not to be attacked.

[MikeyGMin]

and a once-great chest is getting flabby.

That would be a deal-breaker for me. It's the second most important thing for me as far as attraction goes, but I would still feel no need to tell him why. I might consider it if he really really pushed, but probably not even then. He's a gay man living in a gay world -- he knows.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Yes, I'd tell him

 

As an escort, it's our job to be attractive to people: Eating right, hitting the gym and taking care of yourself can be work in itself, but that's just part of this business.

 

First impressions are important... As are impressions two, ten and fifty five

[+ IronMaus]

I'd hate to get that message but I would appreciate it.

[tennisjock]

I may see the same guy a few times for the sex but if I start to see a escort more than that over several years or longer then there is more to him I am drawn to than his appearance. If it was someone who I had seen a few times and he keeps hitting me up to come back to see him ..I would just say its not working for me anymore. Etc he is an escort and he knows if those 31 jeans turn into 36 so I don't need To tell him....imho of course

[MikeyGMin]

It's interesting that most of the clients who have responded wouldn't want to say anything, but both escorts who have responded say "Bring it on."

[LaffingBear]

On second thought.... this is 2017.

 

Just dont answer his emails, texts or calls. Standards and expectations for civility no longer exist.

[Good Grief]

I just saw my go-to guy last weekend for the eighth multiple day get-together in just a bit over a year. He's no longer an advertiser. An amazingly built and worked-out fitness model-type with a real day/week job.

 

As I say, he could be a photographed fitness model, though if that aspect happened to go away (doubt it would,) our mutual connection would keep me arranging weekends and trips with him. Yep.

[+ VictorPowers]

Tough convo to have. I'd feel crushed to hear that from somebody. If you say or not, be mindful of hurt feelings. In the end, if you're having a great time does it matter? You're the consumer, so if you don't like his "product" then just don't hire him.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Tough convo to have. I'd feel crushed to hear that from somebody. If you say or not, be mindful of hurt feelings. In the end, if you're having a great time does it matter? You're the consumer, so if you don't like his "product" then just don't hire him.

 

Crushed? Interesting comment.

 

My opinion is that you don't get into a looks-based job if you have a fragile confidence level. I'd be thankful if one of my guys told me I was looking rough.

 

Sidenote: I am waiting for the inevitable 'Let It Go' youtube link.

[m.yi]

Could the guy just be in the bulking phase of bodybuilding? Then looking to "cut" the excess weight after. Another possibility is that he could be going through something personal that he hasn't mentioned that prevents him from focusing from his usual healthy routine?

 

I doubt someone healthy and fit would just suddenly "let himself go", he knows the importance of diet and nutrition. There's more to it, so I would tread lightly on my approach.

[BaronArtz]

I have a relationship with an escort I saw every couple of months when I was in his town for my business travel.

 

On our first meeting, he was in perfect shape - worked-out, lean and very muscular. Over the past year, each time I have seen him, he has put on more weight. His abs are gone - and a once-great chest is getting flabby.

 

He is very nice and he ontacts me regularly asking when I will be in town again. I have no problem telling him I'm unavailable - but he has no idea it's because he has let himself go.

 

Would you tell him the truth?

 

Did he change the pictures in his ad? Or are they still the same pictures of a year ago, showing his lean and muscular physique? If he hasn't changed them, I would tactfully bring it up. Be tactful and say it with a sense of humor. I am sure he will appreciate it - it helps his business. His only role, after all, is to look hot and to be great in bed. That's how he gets paid. You are helping him.

[+ VictorPowers]

Crushed? Interesting comment.

 

My opinion is that you don't get into a looks-based job if you have a fragile confidence level. I'd be thankful if one of my guys told me I was looking rough.

 

Sidenote: I am waiting for the inevitable 'Let It Go' youtube link.

Dont get me wrong. I'd appreciate the honesty. It'd likely be fuel and motivation to look better.

[LivingnLA]

I like what @latbear4blk, @Benjamin_Nicholas, and @BaronArtz posted and would probably do as they suggest if I were in your situation, @InterestingGuy. There's no reason to be a jerk about it, but he deserves the truth and you deserve not to be in the uncomfortable position of being called regularly when you no longer have any interest in hiring him.