Short, fat, balding Asian

[LookingAround]

@caliguy, I'm assuming you are Caucasian? Just a hunch based on your various responses in this thread. Have you ever been routinely discriminated against based on your race? Not only in daily life but also when paying for services?

 

I'm honestly just curious. Your sarcastic analogy of likening a gay man not being attracted to women to being a "misogynist" in order to rationalize the rampant RACISM in the gay community pushed me over the edge.

 

It was your "All Lives Matter" moment.

You should come back from the edge. I agree with his point. People have preferences re sex partners. Race height build age and it doesn't make someone necessarily a racist or sexist or ageist to say they aren't into (i.e. Don't want to have sex with) people of a certain age body type race or whatever. We all have likes and dislikes.

[corymonroe]

then I guess I'm a misogynist for not being into women.

If "not being into women" means you don't like women, then, yes, you are a misogynist.

 

Escorts who treat this like it's their personal dating profile are in the wrong business.

There seems to be a new kind of narcissism, a guy who gets into the business, thinking he can have sex with hot guys and make money at it. I wouldn't call these guys escorts, and I don't think they last very long in the biz, but they do exist and some of them are hot looking. A lot of guys hire based on the photos alone.

[LookingAround]

I'm not into women sexually but I respect and admire and love women.

[Chidude]

@LookingAround I agree with you in some basic ways. I am not white but I am attractive and consider myself desirable. And I look for certain physical traits in my sexual partners. I personally draw the line at excluding entire races of people and masking it as "preference." That's horse shit.

 

And by the way I am back from the edge. But ignoring the fact that racism, misogyny, transphobia, etc are major issues in the white male-centric gay "community" would be naive.

[caliguy]

[uSER=5427]I am attractive and consider myself desirable. And I look for certain physical traits in my sexual partners. .[/uSER]

[uSER=5427]

[/user]

[Chidude]

@caliguy I see getting called on your white privilege makes you uncomfortable. If you spent more time engaging in constructive dialogue instead of posting passive aggressive memes, you might actually benefit from some personal growth.

[marylander1940]

If you excude people as sex partners based on their race, by definition that is racism.

 

yes, and I look forward to hear you say that next time this subject comes up.

[LookingAround]

@LookingAround

 

And by the way I am back from the edge. But ignoring the fact that racism, misogyny, transphobia, etc are major issues in the white male-centric gay "community" would be naive.

 

I don't think anyone here is stating that are they?

[Chidude]

@LookingAround, perhaps not you. Date who you want to date and live your best life. I hope we all are living our best lives!! What I am saying is that race and power structure are deeply deeply ingrained in our society. Throughout history dating back to European colonialism, all the way to our current White House and to disparity in racial representation in mainstream media throughout the past century. That does play a role is how we perceive, interact with and view others. It can also contribute to this blanket statement of "preference" - not necessarily for all, but it does have an impact.

 

I'm not saying we all need to have sex with each other. Lol. What I am saying is that we do need to recognize that there are deep-rooted dynamics at play that can, even subconsciously, contribute to the ways we interact, date and associate with one another within this LGBTQ microcosm. Is that so hard to acknowledge or recognize?

[LookingAround]

@LookingAround, perhaps not you. Date who you want to date and live your best life. I hope we all are living our best lives!! What I am saying is that race and power structure are deeply deeply ingrained in our society. Throughout history dating back to European colonialism, all the way to our current White House and to disparity in racial representation in mainstream media throughout the past century. That does play a role is how we perceive, interact with and view others. It can also contribute to this blanket statement of "preference" - not necessarily for all, but it does have an impact.

 

I'm not saying we all need to have sex with each other. Lol. What I am saying is that we do need to recognize that there are deep-rooted dynamics at play that can, even subconsciously, contribute to the ways we interact, date and associate with one another within this LGBTQ microcosm. Is that so hard to acknowledge or recognize?

Agreed.

[Good Grief]

Why not admit (or accept) misanthropy ?

[loverboy95]

Diz, first I want to say I am sorry to hear about this experience. I can only imagine how much that hurts. Escorts should always be upfront with their preferences. I usually communicate what I look like with potential hires and ask if there is an issue, but really, it should already be in their profile.

 

I feel the gay community as a whole is too superficial and it makes me sick. There is far too much focus on looks rather than what is on the inside. I admit that I do have racial and body preferences, but one thing that I don't do is discriminate. There needs to be more focus on love and less focus on appearance.

[LookingAround]

I admit that I do have racial and body preferences...

Doesn't every human alive? In other words let's not act like it's a bad thing. It's normal. Preferences do not equate to bigotry.

[MikeBiDude]

Preferences do not equate to bigotry.

This...over and over again

[caliguy]

There needs to be more focus on love and less focus on appearance.

That sounds great but I'm sure if you're an escort love doesn't exactly pay the bills. It's an industry based on appearance.

[AndreFuture]

Wow, I think I just got my first rejection...it stings a bit . Yes it has only been less than 3 months since I have hired escorts and have M2M experience but if this rejection is from a paid transaction, I wonder how it is in the real world? Maybe I should just stay and close the closet door.

 

I saw an NYC escort coming to my city and was quoted a specific amount for a session. When he about myself, I descibed myself as a short, fat, balding Asian. The price increased by 33% and then a not available and "I am very booked" note. I may exaggerated about my physical appearance a bit...as a hired was recently surprised that I am not an Oompa Loompa butterball. However this rejection just made me feel very sad about the status for those who are short, overweight, balding Asian. Are we confined to a corner? I don't know if this is the reality in the gay culture but nevertheless it is sad.

 

I guess one comfort is that now he misses out on getting to know me. I like to think that I have respected those I met, treated them with dignity, and had been more than generous with those I have had hired.

 

Well I guess I should better hit the gym and join hair club for men. As to being short and Asian, I cannot do anything about that except blame my parents....hahaha.

 

But in seriousness, how important is physical appearance and ethnicity in the gay culture? I am a newbie who don't know the culture and was wondering. Seems like we all say that inside is what counts but those are just words.

That's such a sucky experience, but believe me: there are escorts out here that will gladly see you, *ahem*.

 

@caliguy I see getting called on your white privilege makes you uncomfortable. If you spent more time engaging in constructive dialogue instead of posting passive aggressive memes, you might actually benefit from some personal growth.

Expecting anyone to experience personal growth on online forms (or anywhere, really) is going to leave you regularly disappointed. Just sayin'