Ask for HIV status

[Mydavid]

Do you ask escorts about their HIV status?

Do they answer your questions?

 

I always ask this question, a few refused to reply and some of them stop communication.

 

Most of them will answer. And to my surprise, the ratio of positive is not very low even though I'm not sure those who said they were negative are honest.

 

But all who said positive also said they were positive but undetectable.

[+ oldNbusted]

No, my feeling is the answer is pointless and only you can decide what's appropriate for you.I am surprised at the number of people who have told me they would top someone bareback if they didn't know that person's status, but that they would not bareback if they knew the person was poz, that's puzzling to me. This may be retrograde thinking these days, but living through the 80s, the idea that made the most sense to me was to act as if everyone was positive. Right or wrong, that was part of my decision to go on PreP.

 

I've also had people who eventually voluntarily told me they were poz freely admit that when people ask them outright, they have no problem lying about it.

[hornytwells]

I agree its a sort of pointless question since you are asking someone you don't know, so have no idea if they are lying, truthful, or simply ignorant of their status. The onus is on you you and you alone, surely?

[+ Keith30309]

If one is concerned about transmission of a STI then isn't the prudent thing to do to take appropriate precautions regardless of what anyone tells you, particularly given that they themselves may not know?

"Yesterday I screened negatively for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis" may be nice but it has no bearing on what he did the day before yesterday.

I've met 2 guys who told me they were poz undetectable - took the right precautions and had a great time.

[+ GregM]

The problem with asking is 1. people lie and 2. at the time of the test they could be negative but now its 6, 9 or 12 months after and no follow up test has been done. I've been up front and honest about my status from day one. I've lost work because of it and I've also gained work cause of my honesty. And for the record, my status is hiv undetectable.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ sniper]

Escorts being a very high-risk group you really should simply assume they are positive and act accordingly based on your risk tolerance. That's not to say there aren't plenty of negative escorts out there - just that the proportion who are HIV+ is going to be higher than the general population so the question is almost moot. Most people who become poz don't find out for a while after, and that period is the period when the virus is most contagious.

[azulpalido]

I met with an infection specialist in my part of the world (Southern California), and I was told that about 1/3 of the gay men in my age range (>40) are HIV positive. That's the "general population."

 

<begin preachy mode>

Given that HIV is no longer an immediate death sentence, a lot of people are living longer healthier lives thanks to modern drug therapies. Mind you, this was just 1 specialist stating a statistic, but it was definitely a good reminder that one should own one's health outcomes through preventive measures (barriers, PREP, etc) and knowing one's status (testing for STIs every 3 months if you're sexually active).

<end preachy mode>

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Indeed, you should ask. Any sex worker who's offended by this question doesn't deserve your business.

 

Will they tell you the truth? That's the real issue. The only sure thing you can do is protect yourself and thankfully, there's an arsenal of good products out there to ensure you can fuck like a rabbit and remain healthy & happy.

[Bucky]

Indeed, you should ask. Any sex worker who's offended by this question doesn't deserve your business.

 

Will they tell you the truth? That's the real issue. The only sure thing you can do is protect yourself.

 

Then why bother asking?

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Then why bother asking?

 

It's human nature to ask questions you may already know the answers to: I believe the OP knows this and is only posing these questions as forum fodder.

 

It's also why I suggested protecting yourself by any means possible.

[Larstrup]

It's human nature to ask questions you may already know the answers to: I believe the OP knows this and is only posing these questions as forum fodder.

 

Why would you publicly abate the importance of the OP's inquiry about HIV and his handling of this type inquiry with potential sex workers, to forum fodder? Shouldn't all discussions regarding HIV rise above such smug and glib commentary?

[marylander1940]

Do you ask escorts about their HIV status?

Do they answer your questions?

 

I always ask this question, a few refused to reply and some of them stop communication.

 

Most of them will answer. And to my surprise, the ratio of positive is not very low even though I'm not sure those who said they were negative are honest.

 

But all who said positive also said they were positive but undetectable.

 

You're an absolute idiot if you believe their replies. (Why oh why did I click this link? This question has been debated to death on this forum.)

 

@EastbayMike do you mean that if some of them lie about their age, they also lie about their status?

 

If yes, you're right about it.

 

I've seen many guys on Manhunt years ago who went from positive to negative in their profiles.

 

@Mydavid obviously your "polling" ain't scientifically accurate but just out of curiosity: what's the percentage of them who admit being positive?

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Why would you publicly abate the importance of the OP's inquiry about HIV and his handling of this type inquiry with potential sex workers, to forum fodder? Shouldn't all discussions regarding HIV rise above such smug and glib commentary?

 

Abate? Really.

 

If you think that was me being smug or glib, you're reading too much into it.

 

Have a glass of wine... It's Friday

[Larstrup]

 

But all who said positive also said they were positive but undetectable.

 

This is personal and responsible social progress not so easily obtained by many, moving the stigma of HIV forward. To say that your poz and undetectable should be celebrated and to help others in the shadows, to remove the stigma and shame which HIV once carried with it. Is it an assurance that their not undetectable, no. But there are no guarantees in life anywhere and protecting yourself from all possible harm is everyone's responsibility.

[Mydavid]

what's the percentage of them who admit being positive?

I didn't really record and calculate. But I guess more than half of those who choose "Anything goes" for safety/bb are positive, and most of the other say they are on Prep so they accept bareback.

Most who choose "safe only" say they are negative.

[marylander1940]

I didn't really record and calculate. But I guess more than half of those who choose "Anything goes" for safety/bb are positive, and most of the other say they are on Prep so they accept bareback.

Most who choose "safe only" say they are negative.

 

Out of 10 escorts, how many told you they were positive?

[Mydavid]

Out of 10 escorts, how many told you they were positive?

If all of them choose "Anything goes" on their profile, I guess 6.

[corndog]

I'm in the camp that believes it is pointless to ask someone their HIV status. You need to take responsibility for your own sexual health, either with PrEP or with condoms. However, if you really want to ask about this, maybe a better question is "How often do you get HIV/STI screenings?" To me, this question reveals whether someone is proactive about their sexual health.

 

A while back, my quarterly STI screening yielded a positive chlamydia diagnosis, and I decided to the responsible/uncomfortable thing, and contact the guys that I had been in contact with. Most of those conversations were surprisingly pleasant, and the pros that I had met assured me that they had done their routine testing since we met, and were clear. However, there was one guy who revealed that he didn't have health insurance and didn't get regular testing. I offered to give him a ride to the clinic where I go, and even pay for the medication, if necessary. He said he'd go, but when I tried to follow up a couple of times, I got no response. Disappointing. I had seen this guy several times, and it was turning into a regular thing, but now I'm really not interested in seeing him again. Without any routine testing, I wonder if he's still carrying asymptomatic chlamydia, and who knows what else.

 

So, my personal risk assessment leads me to the conclusion that it's guys who rarely or never get HIV/STI screenings that are the ones to watch out for.