I have become attached to my escort

[+ sniper]

And what if you actually knew the escort before he became an escort? I inadvertently ran into a guy years after meeting him and hanging out with him for several long weekends. Then I found him online and neither of us realized that we already knew each other. I of course honored the transaction I signed up for. But, now we confuse the two realities. Talk amongst yourselves. I could use the advice.

By "hang out" do you mean you had sex, or do you just mean like he was in a group of people you were vacationing with and interacted strictly platonically?

[LoveNDino]

With all due respect and the caveat that I have been there!

[+ sniper]

No, we met in a club just prior to New Year's in 2008 and screwed like rabbits. He came with me to all the NYE parties and we saw each other many times after that. TBH, I was in a relationship on the rocks at the time and I stopped seeing him and others once I reconciled with my BF (who was doing the same BTW). Then this escort moved to another country. And we reconnected many years later through RM.com. I respected the business proposition and paid him for his time. But, we started interacting again both platonically and sexually. We had to have honest discussions about how and when we separate the two. Don't try this at home. It's not easy and easily get confusing. Hence, I'm looking for advice from all angles so I can navigate it without anyone getting hurt. It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye with a sharp stick. Eventually, we have to set boundaries. He's not giving up his line of work anytime soon and neither would I with his chiseled looks. But, we both talk honestly that this gig won't last forever and he's working on his next career move. He's 30 and I'm 39. He'll probably take a huge cut in pay to do so.

If it would be a "huge" pay cut to stop escorting and work full-time he should be amassing an investment portfolio. If it does well enough he may not have to get a "real job."

[MassageDrew]

A private person will never reveal anything about him regardless of your fees. For the price you're willing to pay, he may just show you an alternative reality just to scratch your itch but keep his personal life from you.

 

I'd find it insulting for someone to pay me or force me to reveal more of my life when I'm not ready. It should come naturally.

[MassageDrew]

I have to go there.....

 

Just because you can afford to pay doesn't make you an owner of ones's privacy. He's not your slave.

[+ José Soplanucas]

A private person will never reveal anything about him regardless of your fees. For the price you're willing to pay, he may just show you an alternative reality just to scratch your itch but keep his personal life from you.

 

I'd find it insulting for someone to pay me or force me to reveal more of my life when I'm not ready. It should come naturally.

 

What are you talking about?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/96b12274b0cd95a89a4d8454dab43981/tumblr_miuaqs6Ia31r2bf2ao1_500.gif

[MassageDrew]

Oh no you didn't

[Kody S]

Hey!

 

The relationship should grow organically and friendship should develop naturally. Offering people money for them to "disclose" objectifies them and can be insulting. Vulnerability elicits vulnerability. So as you get to know someone and share appropriately about your life, people generally will open up a bit and share theirs.

 

A now friend of mine was once a masseur (how we met) and just through appointments and conversations we became friends to where money was irrelevant. We just hung out when we had time but massage was not always the focus of our meetings (although he taught me a lot about it). We talked more about our lives, work, and travel than anything.

 

I get you are attached to him and so want to know more. It's the natural progression of anying more intimacy. But it has to be two ways for it to work and be meaningful. So just be yourself, open up as you feel comfortable and it's appropriate to do so and let what happens happen.

 

Best of luck!!