On discussing specifics...

[Courage]

I'm setting up with a fellow and have only contacted him by text. I'd like to be clear in advance about what I'd like so both of us are ready. My preferences are within the scope of his services in verified reviews.

 

His ad says: "No explicit texts. Keep it professional." Is saying "I'm interested in topping during our time" explicit?

 

Or would the proper next step be to ask for a phone conversation? I've assumed he doesn't want an electronic "paper trail." Or is there some code I'm missing? I admit I'm terrible with codes :-)

[+ Eric Hassan]

I think what he means is that he'd like to keep text details to the facts of your meeting - what day, what time, for how long, and where you are going to meet. Many of us don't like to have texts with explicit details about what might happen. Once you have your appointment set, it's entirely reasonable to ask for a phone call to hammer out the details. This can be a 5 minute talk that is your chance to communicate all the things you're interested in. I do suggest that if there are things that are, for you, absolutely mandatory and other things that are nice, but not exactly necessary, that you make that distinction. You are a thoughtful, careful person and I'm sure a quick phone call can help you have the time you want and put the guy at ease - he'll know what it is you're expecting!

[Stormy]

Hi. I suggest having a phone conversation to discuss. You can usually get a sense as to compatibility by talking. You can usually tell if he's a relaxed person or tightly wound or if he has a sense of humor. These are important traits for me

[TennDan99]

I'm setting up with a fellow and have only contacted him by text. I'd like to be clear in advance about what I'd like so both of us are ready. My preferences are within the scope of his services in verified reviews.

 

His ad says: "No explicit texts. Keep it professional." Is saying "I'm interested in topping during our time" explicit?

 

Or would the proper next step be to ask for a phone conversation? I've assumed he doesn't want an electronic "paper trail." Or is there some code I'm missing? I admit I'm terrible with codes

I tend to introduce myself in my first messages by telling the escort what I'm into. I don't ask them what they are offering. If they aren't a match they can just turn me down without discussing their preferences.

 

I treat it like I'm talking to someone on Grindr. No mention of fees etc. That works for me. If it scares the person I'm contacting I just move on. I understand being cautious but you can't eliminate all risk and I don't have the energy for too much coded communication. I think some folks use that ploy to avoid committing to anything before meeting as a way of ripping off the client. I have contacted a few guys that were so fearful that I just thanked them and moved on. I'm trying to arrange some play time not sell nuclear secrets to the Russians

[Courage]

You are a thoughtful, careful person and I'm sure a quick phone call can help you have the time you want and put the guy at ease - he'll know what it is you're expecting!

 

Thank you for the advice--it was very helpful in clearing things. As related elsewhere, it was a bit of a learning experience. At least they're new mistakes (mostly)--so I'm progressing.

[+ nycman]

"I'm a top who likes to fuck...are you available next Tuesday at 4pm in NYC?"

 

Saves sooooo much time!

[Chuckball]

An escort told me he keeps a diary of what each of his clients like and dislike. Seems like a good idea. Is this common amongst escorts?

[Guy Fawkes]

Yes. But saying: "I'm mostly a top with oral tendencies." Moves it away from the dangerous area.

 

I'm setting up with a fellow and have only contacted him by text. I'd like to be clear in advance about what I'd like so both of us are ready. My preferences are within the scope of his services in verified reviews.

 

His ad says: "No explicit texts. Keep it professional." Is saying "I'm interested in topping during our time" explicit?

 

Or would the proper next step be to ask for a phone conversation? I've assumed he doesn't want an electronic "paper trail." Or is there some code I'm missing? I admit I'm terrible with codes

[Courage]

Yes. But saying: "I'm mostly a top with oral tendencies." Moves it away from the dangerous area.

 

This is as good a place as any to compliment and thank you for this site. It's a great service and the community that's assembled itself around the forums is good company (in an electronic way).

[BaronArtz]

An escort told me he keeps a diary of what each of his clients like and dislike. Seems like a good idea. Is this common amongst escorts?

 

Yes. That is very common.

 

Once, I had a masseur/escort who kept it all in an Excel spreadsheet. Name of customer, phone number, email, day and date, summary description of what happened and amount of payment. All of that with his personal comments - such as 'Fat Priest', 'French guy', 'Psycho - avoid'. All of this, meticulously kept in one file going back 2 years. Which he then, accidentally attached to an email that was sent to his entire client distribution list !!! Which is how I found out. Needless to say, I never hired him again.

 

'Fat Priest' must have been amused ...

[LADoug1]

Yes. That is very common.

 

Once, I had a masseur/escort who kept it all in an Excel spreadsheet. Name of customer, phone number, email, day and date, summary description of what happened and amount of payment. All of that with his personal comments - such as 'Fat Priest', 'French guy', 'Psycho - avoid'. All of this, meticulously kept in one file going back 2 years. Which he then, accidentally attached to an email that was sent to his entire client distribution list !!! Which is how I found out. Needless to say, I never hired him again.

 

'Fat Priest' must have been amused ...

 

I feel very sorry for "Fat Priest ".

[Dave]

I agree with TennDan99 and nycman

 

most escorts don’t want to talk about what you will do together. keep it more about your own interests; in theory you’ve already read his ad or review or whatever, and so you already know what he likes. if he’s professional you won’t find a bait and switch sort of thing.

 

bait and switch: his ad says, I love to bottom.

you hire him, and he says he’s not able to bottom that evening, because of XYZ.

(a professional would communicate that, before the appointment.)

 

what if it’s not listed in his ad?

for example, what if you want to rim him, but his ad doesnt say anything like “I’m into getting rimmed”? then ask him in your communication - again, before the appointment - such:

“hey, do you like getting rimmed?”

if he can’t even answer that, then you’ve learned something about him - he may be very new/inexperienced in the industry... or, he may be overly nervous. and then you get to make the decision as to whether that’s a dude you wanna be with, or not.

 

you may want to see this “Advice” site for hiring; I was one of the sources for it years ago. it’s been up for a while now but I think the info is still pretty relevant -

http://beforeyoucome.blogspot.com

especially see the second paragraph of “SETTING UP AN APPOINTMENT”

[+ Funguy]

What Dave says is very true.

A while back when I first met Dave, because of scheduling I had to set the appointment for a number of months ahead. It gave me plenty of time to review his web site on which he lists some of the things he likes and doesn't like.

 

I took these things to heart and our meeting was nothing short of fantastic. 5 hours in a blink! I even held back on a few things until he asked me (well, ordered me) to do such.

 

If an escort has his own website, especially check it out and talk.