Tip?

[Good Grief]

There is one FANTASTIC escort I see and he brings ME flowers!

 

The last time I met my go-to-guy was a couple weeks before my birthday. Enjoyed a fantastic dinner, on him.

[LADoug1]

I've only tipped once when we ran overtime and the escort was completely cool about it.

 

I've brought flowers and gifts to a very special escort who I've seen multiple times. I love doing that.

[LADoug1]

Just moved. Moving guys we're super cool and did an absolutely fantastic job. They were tipped very generously. They worked their asses off.

[TruthBTold]

When I think about tipping, I think about the value I place on the service and how that compares to what I am asked to pay. For example, I have been going to the same guy to get my hair cut and beard trimmed (when I have one) every 2 weeks for the past 5+ years. Anthony does an incredible job - he's fast, efficient, friendly and does a great job. This is a very important ritual for me - I call it hairapy and it literally is a way that I heal and recharge. He's never raised his rates. To me, this is an incredibly valuable service and the rate I am asked to pay is nowhere near what I think it's worth to me. So, Anthony gets a tip. I see my doctor every 3 months for my PrEP visits and he provides all of my primary care as well. His office gets a small co-pay from me and whatever rate is negotiated by my insurance company. This is a very valuable service, but I do my part - I eat well, stay active, drink plenty of water, get rest and generally take care of myself, specifically so that I am not relying heavily on an already over-burdened health care system. My doctor certainly makes more than Anthony who cuts my hair, and his service is valuable, compensated for, and include effort on my part. My doctor doesn't get a tip.

 

I think (but I don't know) that it may be unethical for a licensed physician to take a tip for his services. I can imagine that a patient may want to bring treats or flowers for his/her staff for even for him/her. But a money tip may not be ethical. (Discuss amongst yourself!)

[Phil_musc]

I've been coming here for a number of years. Sometimes I'm an active poster, other times not so much. This issue has come up any number of times and almost always it seems to dissolve into a showcase for whoever wants to come off as well-healed (and always tips). Generally someone throws down the gauntlet with some nonsense about always tipping because the service is always above and beyond the expectations of the client. And then all the other well-healed wannabees chime in waving their overstuffed wallets, after all, no one wants to appear cheap or, heaven forfend, poor. This is the first tipping issue thread I can remember where that has not happened. Is it a sign of the times or what? Suddenly the guys who seem to know the worth of a dollar are speaking up and are not being made to feel poor or somehow less than human. What a refreshing change.

 

A point for consideration: it seems to me that when hiring, we are hiring for a fantasy, one that by definition exceeds the average or the normal experiences that most or at least many of us can get for free. Are the guys who always tip just incapable of imagining something beyond the ordinary experience? Being an escort is about providing an experience that goes beyond the normal, everyday commonplace of my life. That is the job by definition in my book. How does one go beyond that - exceeding my fantasy expectations? I have a good imagination that is capable of a pretty high level of fantasy. It's not likely that an escort will exceed my fantasy expectations.

 

On the other hand, if he were to pick me up at the airport or some such thing, that would exceed my expectations of what the encounter should provide. That's worth a tip. Not being a clock-watcher which results in overtime would get me to think about tipping.

 

Earlier on PK instructed us - correctly IMO - that there is a difference between a profession and a trade. This is a good distinction that should be made.

[MikeyGMin]

I don't disagree with you about the way these threads typically go, but I would ask you to examine your own language and bias.

 

well-healed wannabees chime in

 

guys who seem to know the worth of a dollar

 

It's obvious where your heart lies, and that's okay, but there is usually a fair amount of wealth shaming that also goes on in these threads. I know that wealth shaming is about as sympathetic as reverse racial discrimination, but it does happen here frequently. Especially when the bi-monthly topic of rates comes up.

 

I am not wealthy. I don't claim to be and I really hope I don't ever come off as a wannabe. However, I'm at a point in my life where an extra $50 here or $100 there just doesn't mean that much. That kind of attitude towards $100 is often ridiculed and mocked on this forum. Just sayin.

[instudiocity]

Do you tip someone who cuts your hair?

Do you tip your doctor, psychologist and psychiatrist?

 

And just how much does your hairdresser/barber earn per visit?

[+ OliverSaks]

I do not tip these types of professionals monetarily, but I do make recommendations and post reviews if I think the service is exceptional. I tip Über drivers, barbers, most people at hotels, movers, restaurant/dining staff, anywhere that you can provide a tip...

 

How do you all place escort into "trade" vs "professional?" What about a masseur? (If neither, what is an escort?)

[sincitymix]

Hmm i always tip.. mostly because most escorts use odd numbers, and when im paying with 100 dollar bills, im not going to ask them for change

[LADoug1]

Do you tip someone who cuts your hair?

I always do when the hairdresser doesn't own the salon. If they rent the chair they get a tip. Pretty much the etiquette of the industry.

[LADoug1]

That's the kicker in my book. I really like giving the occasional gift, but I want to make sure it is something he really wants. That takes time, or really listening, or the ever so helpful Amazon wishlist.

 

I find Amazon wish lists presumptuous and inappropriate. Just saying.

[LADoug1]

The last time I met my go-to-guy was a couple weeks before my birthday. Enjoyed a fantastic dinner, on him.

 

I've had an escort treat me to a meal. Can't begin to describe how special that makes me feel.

[MiamiLooker]

I've been coming here for a number of years. Sometimes I'm an active poster, other times not so much. This issue has come up any number of times and almost always it seems to dissolve into a showcase for whoever wants to come off as well-healed (and always tips). Generally someone throws down the gauntlet with some nonsense about always tipping because the service is always above and beyond the expectations of the client. And then all the other well-healed wannabees chime in waving their overstuffed wallets, after all, no one wants to appear cheap or, heaven forfend, poor. This is the first tipping issue thread I can remember where that has not happened. Is it a sign of the times or what? Suddenly the guys who seem to know the worth of a dollar are speaking up and are not being made to feel poor or somehow less than human. What a refreshing change.

 

A point for consideration: it seems to me that when hiring, we are hiring for a fantasy, one that by definition exceeds the average or the normal experiences that most or at least many of us can get for free. Are the guys who always tip just incapable of imagining something beyond the ordinary experience? Being an escort is about providing an experience that goes beyond the normal, everyday commonplace of my life. That is the job by definition in my book. How does one go beyond that - exceeding my fantasy expectations? I have a good imagination that is capable of a pretty high level of fantasy. It's not likely that an escort will exceed my fantasy expectations.

 

On the other hand, if he were to pick me up at the airport or some such thing, that would exceed my expectations of what the encounter should provide. That's worth a tip. Not being a clock-watcher which results in overtime would get me to think about tipping.

 

Earlier on PK instructed us - correctly IMO - that there is a difference between a profession and a trade. This is a good distinction that should be made.

 

I don’t tip. It seems too much like an act of desperation to impress. However, I do have a few regulars that I’ve helped out monetarily when they’ve needed it, as well as cash gifts for their birthdays and Christmas. Most of our sessions are the result of the escort contacting me, so it’s working for me.

[+ glennnn]

One thing not discussed here is how much to tip. In many service jobs, such as waiting tables, 15% has been a standard for most of my life. (I usually go 20% because it's easier to do the math quickly). So, on a lunch bill, I might leave $4. By this standard, would I tip $100 for a two hour, $500 visit with my escort? I'm seriously looking for direction here. I admire and like my escorts and wouldn't want to denigrate their fine service by tipping low. As a benchmark, right now I usually tip with a meal or $20 regardless of the total fee charged. What say you all?

[mike carey]

I find Amazon wish lists presumptuous and inappropriate. Just saying.

I don't have an issue with Amazon gift lists or anything similar, and here's why. The US is a tip-obsessed society. Many escorts will say that they don't expect a tip because they charge enough already, but the wish to tip is still there for their clients. The wish to tip is really a wish to demonstrate that they think the escort has gone that little bit further. Does a tip do that, or is it just seen as an automatic 'little bit extra'? For a client, a gift can mean more than a tip, but there is no guarantee that the escort will appreciate the gift. Setting up an Amazon list gives the client the chance to select something that is meaningful to the escort and not just extra cash.

[MiamiLooker]

As a benchmark, right now I usually tip with a meal or $20 regardless of the total fee charged. What say you all?

 

How do you tip with a meal? Do you give them a gift card to a nice restaurant so they can take someone of their choosing out to dinner?

[+ glennnn]

I've taken my escort for a shared meal several times. It was great to talk a little after the lovin'.

[Phil_musc]

I don't have an issue with Amazon gift lists or anything similar,

See above - gift lists are pretentious in my book.

and here's why. The US is a tip-obsessed society.

Says who? Even if that is true (and it probably is), might it not be good to think for oneself and not follow the (alleged) crowd? Be the change you want to see. . .

 

Many escorts will say that they don't expect a tip because they charge enough already,

Several have actually said that in this very thread.

but the wish to tip is still there for their clients.

"The devil made me do it." What is this compulsive behavior? A new kind of OCD? To quote Nancy Reagan, "Just say no."

 

The wish to tip is really a wish to demonstrate that they think the escort has gone that little bit further.

Either that or a wish to impress the escort with largesse.

Does a tip do that, or is it just seen as an automatic 'little bit extra'?

No, it's really a desperate attempt to garner further affection and attention.

 

For a client, a gift can mean more than a tip, but there is no guarantee that the escort will appreciate the gift.

A gift would probably have more of a lasting memory if it is appropriate and appreciated. But still, why should the client feel it's a must? I work as a professional also and while it's nice to feel that the client appreciates my work, I set my rate and the client pays it. If he or she is happy, that is great. If he or she recommends me to another potential client, that's even greater. So much work comes through referrals. I believe escorts have said virtually the same thing in this very thread.

Setting up an Amazon list gives the client the chance to select something that is meaningful to the escort and not just extra cash.

We don't tip professionals, we do tip tradesmen. I give gifts to friends. I don't pay people to be my friends. An escort is not my friend (certainly not at the first meeting and truth be told, he is still not my friend at the third meeting, no matter how hard I try or hope)

[+ Travis69]

Is a year end bonus considered a "tip"?

[MikeyGMin]

I find Amazon wish lists presumptuous and inappropriate. Just saying.

Ahhh, but it's all in how they are handled. Some guys aggressively promote them and it is a complete turn off. The one that I use was never mentioned. I had to ask about it and also push for it to be updated. I like giving birthday gifts and I like to recognize time spent hanging out off the clock.

[Sixty]

I'm 71 and have been seeing a very popular young fellow off and on since 2011. We would spend 2-3 days together at a time. Wednesday was usually

matinee day in NYC. I would give my young man $50 pocket money for the theater and treat the two of us to a show's coffee mug and a CD of the

musical's score as well as the show's magnet. We'd then have dinner at a fine steak house. And of course I'd take care of our three meals daily, in or

out. I never thought of adding a tip for our time spent.

[LADoug1]

I'm 71 and have been seeing a very popular young fellow off and on since 2011. We would spend 2-3 days together at a time. Wednesday was usually

matinee day in NYC. I would give my young man $50 pocket money for the theater and treat the two of us to a show's coffee mug and a CD of the

musical's score as well as the show's magnet. We'd then have dinner at a fine steak house. And of course I'd take care of our three meals daily, in or

out. I never thought of adding a tip for our time spent.

 

You ARE tipping but in a very kind and thoughtful way.

[LADoug1]

I had an escort give me a bottle of wine and a greeting card the first time we met BEFORE the action began. It felt weird. Worst experience ever. I left in the middle without taking the wine or even reading the card. Rude I guess but I needed to get out of there FAST!

[mike carey]

OK, saying that the US is tip obsessed is hyperbole, I concede. I love you all.

[Guy Fawkes]

Yes.

Do you tip someone who cuts your hair?