Do you continue charging?

[MassageDrew]

To the escorts, what do you do when you fall in love with a client? Or at least some kind of emotional attraction. How do you handle it? Do continue charging him? Does it become a free service at that point? Or are you totally in the business sense to not really get too attracted to any of your clients? Just curious.

[Bearofdistinction]

To the escorts, what do you do when you fall in love with a client? Or at least some kind of emotional attraction. How do you handle it? Do continue charging him? Does it become a free service at that point? Or are you totally in the business sense to not really get too attracted to any of your clients? Just curious.

 

Bizness be Bizness!

[+ Eric Hassan]

Part of my job is to have a genuine connection with the men who hire me without leading them on or taking advantage of their feelings. It can take some focus and thoughtfulness and it's entirely possible. Part of what I do as an escort is see my clients and honor and respect their lives, their sexualities, and their choice to spend their time and money on me - that can easily lead to a great deal of intimacy and even loving feelings. I'm not afraid to share those connections and feelings with the guys that hire me, so long as I'm clear that they're clear on the nature of our relationship and that they are able to distinguish feelings and facts.

 

In short, love isn't the issue that would have me stop charging someone for my services. I would stop charging if - for whatever reason - I couldn't provide companionship with a clear conscience.

[MikeBiDude]

It's happened to me one "real" time (and a few other confusing times) with a masseur where the mutual emotions took over, the business and $$ became less and less as the visits increased, and ultimately we had a multi year relationship. It was up/down a little rocky, but good. In the end we parted, he never returned to massage/escort work, but is preparing for law school.

 

Ultimately the post relationship friendship fell apart. So maybe, although some really good times in there, it was doomed from start. Which would follow most of the good advice and experiences posted on these forum.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Part of my job is to have a genuine connection with the men who hire me without leading them on or taking advantage of their feelings. It can take some focus and thoughtfulness and it's entirely possible. Part of what I do as an escort is see my clients and honor and respect their lives, their sexualities, and their choice to spend their time and money on me - that can easily lead to a great deal of intimacy and even loving feelings. I'm not afraid to share those connections and feelings with the guys that hire me, so long as I'm clear that they're clear on the nature of our relationship and that they are able to distinguish feelings and facts.

 

In short, love isn't the issue that would have me stop charging someone for my services. I would stop charging if - for whatever reason - I couldn't provide companionship with a clear conscience.

 

I am in agreement with you 100%!!! I work from a place of love and several of my clients tell me they love me and I reciprocate the feeling. We shouldn't be so afraid of love, it's "what the world needs now" . Loving someone shouldn't mean that you need to control them or "own" them. It's amazing and sad to me how quick most are to anger and hate but so slow to love. Thank you @Eric Hassan for saying that. Love you, sweet and beautiful man!

[MartyB]

I am in agreement with you 100%!!! I work from a place of love and several of my clients tell me they love me and I reciprocate the feeling. We shouldn't be so afraid of love, it's "what the world needs now" . Loving someone shouldn't mean that you need to control them or "own" them. It's amazing and sad to me how quick most are to anger and hate but so slow to love. Thank you @Eric Hassan for saying that. Love you, sweet and beautiful man!

There is a fine line between love and business here. As a client I've had a # of great relationships as I do now with the escort/s I've been with. We can't exclude the fact that a connection when made even when $'s are exchanged doesn't affect the dynamic. I myself always try and make sure I really understand the "real" dynamic here. Every escort I've had a great relationship sooner or later moved or left my hometown. I moved on and I've discovered I've met more incredible men who have enriched my life but remain an escort.

[+ Eric Hassan]

I am in agreement with you 100%!!! I work from a place of love and several of my clients tell me they love me and I reciprocate the feeling. We shouldn't be so afraid of love, it's "what the world needs now" . Loving someone shouldn't mean that you need to control them or "own" them. It's amazing and sad to me how quick most are to anger and hate but so slow to love. Thank you @Eric Hassan for saying that. Love you, sweet and beautiful man!

 

And I love you!

 

I'm going to be in SF soon

[Juan Vancouver]

To the escorts, what do you do when you fall in love with a client? Or at least some kind of emotional attraction. How do you handle it?

 

As Eric and Lance already said very beautifully, I believe that if I am not feeling butterflies in my stomach during my session, the session is not going well. In my work I celebrate a genuine attraction with my client and when intimacy happens, a strong flow of love and complex emotions often go both ways. This is just natural when you are being allowed to care for someone's tender heart.

 

Now... if I ever fell in love with a client, in that romantic sense in which my emotional needs are the focus, then I would -without hesitation- stop seeing him. I see escorting to be very similar to therapy, in the sense that turning a professional relationship into a romantic one would only mean we would enter it with a dynamic already laden with all sorts of power imbalances that would make this relationship particularly conflict prone. (As if relationships were easy to begin with!)

 

Also, my work is to provide a safe, healing space for my client to be vulnerable and explore his body and emotions in a safe way. The minute my emotions and my needs come to play, I know I would not be able to ensure his safety and I am not going to endanger my client emotionally just to fulfill my own fleeting needs. And especially, I am not going to subconsciously send my client the message that I am in love with him and something else could develop while taking his money.

 

The only healthy, loving and responsible thing for me to do in such a situation, (or if my client had fallen in love with me) would be to not see him anymore.

 

Some claim they have had long relationships with their clients, therapists and escorts, some others, candidly have mentioned how tumultuous those relationships were for them. I just don't see any reason to put my client's vulnerability at risk.

 

Love? Attraction? Deep connection? Yes, please.

 

Romantic attachment? Falling in love? I don't think it's healthy.

[MassageDrew]

Thanks for the insight guys

[LADoug1]

As Eric and Lance already said very beautifully, I believe that if I am not feeling butterflies in my stomach during my session, the session is not going well. In my work I celebrate a genuine attraction with my client and when intimacy happens, a strong flow of love and complex emotions often go both ways. This is just natural when you are being allowed to care for someone's tender heart.

 

Now... if I ever fell in love with a client, in that romantic sense in which my emotional needs are the focus, then I would -without hesitation- stop seeing him. I see escorting to be very similar to therapy, in the sense that turning a professional relationship into a romantic one would only mean we would enter it with a dynamic already laden with all sorts of power imbalances that would make this relationship particularly conflict prone. (As if relationships were easy to begin with!)

 

Also, my work is to provide a safe, healing space for my client to be vulnerable and explore his body and emotions in a safe way. The minute my emotions and my needs come to play, I know I would not be able to ensure his safety and I am not going to endanger my client emotionally just to fulfill my own fleeting needs. And especially, I am not going to subconsciously send my client the message that I am in love with him and something else could develop while taking his money.

 

The only healthy, loving and responsible thing for me to do in such a situation, (or if my client had fallen in love with me) would be to not see him anymore.

 

Some claim they have had long relationships with their clients, therapists and escorts, some others, candidly have mentioned how tumultuous those relationships were for them. I just don't see any reason to put my client's vulnerability at risk.

 

Love? Attraction? Deep connection? Yes, please.

 

Romantic attachment? Falling in love? I don't think it's healthy.

 

 

If you fell in love with a client wouldn't you consider developing a long term non-escorting relationship with him? He may just be the man of your dreams. There must be reasons why you fell in love in the first place.

[mike carey]

If you fell in love with a client wouldn't you consider developing a long term non-escorting relationship with him? He may just be the man of your dreams. There must be reasons why you fell in love in the first place.

Juan was talking about the development of feelings, not specifically about his feelings for a client, but more likely a client's feelings for him. He already has a partner, so of course he would want to disengage if 'feelings' came into play.

[LADoug1]

Juan was talking about the development of feelings, not specifically about his feelings for a client, but more likely a client's feelings for him. He already has a partner, so of course he would want to disengage if 'feelings' came into play.

 

 

I know he has a partner. I was considering the scenario where he was single. It was theoretical.

[Juan Vancouver]

If you fell in love with a client wouldn't you consider developing a long term non-escorting relationship with him?

 

No, I wouldn't. Under any circumstance. Wouldn't be fair for him nor for myself.

 

I believe that a dynamic that started through escorting already has many subconscious elements that would make it hell for me to have a healthy relationship. The most obvious power imbalances, like the ex-client will never stop wondering whether the escort "loves" him because of his presumably more stable financial position, the ex-escort will find himself wondering often whether the client sees behind the escort persona and sees the full humanity of who he is. Needless to say, sex will have many levels of a subconscious sense of obligation and it would be a mine field for the escort to deny sex and for the client to initiate it.

 

Once you start a relationship in a professional way, a clear habit of care taking develops, which is obvious; it is the escort's work to take care of the client and this is expected from him because he is paying for that service. Once money is taken out of the equation and "emotions" come into place, the care taking dynamic would be very difficult to erase. Humans are creatures of habit..

 

I ever thought that I was in love with a client, I would stop seeing him.

 

If he is indeed the man of my dreams, if we really belong together, then he would still be around a couple years later when our mutual dynamic has phased out and we can start from zero.