February 14 Time to Celebrate

[+ purplekow]

So once again we come upon February 14 and paired lovers will be making last minute plans to prove the depth of their love and their pocketbook. For those of us who are alone, here are my Top Ten Alternatives:

 

Valance Times Day Go to Bed Bath and Beyond and Redo your Curtains

Valence Times Day Check to see how positive or negative you are and then get really charged up

Valens Time Day Contemplate how they don't make good music any more while La Bamba plays. Sing along

Ballentine's Day Drink beer while trying to make a 3 Ring sign with as many different body parts as you can

Balanchine's Day Also Known as Ballet Times Day Get off you duff and on your toes and DANCE

Calamine's Day Slather yourself in the pink stuff and slide around to get rid of that itch. Partners permitted

Pal O Mine's Day Celebrate your Bromance with a good friend and a Honeymooners Retrospective

Pantomimes Day Time to act it out Say it all without saying anything (Just like Marcel Marceau but More so)

Vanilla Times Day Celebrate America's favorite flavor and least interesting sexual style.

Gallon Times Day Stay home and masturbate until a gallon jug is filled Drinking it afterwards is optional