Escorts and HIV

[LivingnLA]

This thread has stirred up some passionate opinions and thoughts. There's alot of good info here and some bad info, just like life, we take the good with the bad and make it work.

 

Any human being engaged in sexual activity with another human being has certain risks and responsibilities to keep in mind. As humans are a very diverse group of people, our opinions about those risks and responsibilities varies from person to person. Here's my blunt truth...

 

Sex with another person is risky. There are many STDs and STIs out there that love to spread when we're bumpin and grindin. Fortunately, we've used our biggish brains to develop some solutions with varying degrees of efficacy for slowing/stopping/preventing the spread of those dirty nasty STDs and STIs.

 

If you're engaging in sex with men and you're a man, then you're automatically in a high risk group because of a whole host of factors we don't need to discuss here. So what can you do?

 

1. KNOW YOUR STATUS - You are not negative just because you were HIV- last year and you've had sex at least once with someone since then. If you're engaged in monogamous sex, you should be tested AT LEAST YEARLY. For everyone who's having nonmonogamous sex, please be in the 2-3 times a year range or even 4 (quarterly) - 6 (every other month) if you're a promiscuous fucker. And if you're a porn star, you know the weekly drill.

 

2. DO YOUR RESEARCH - Learn about all the major STDs and STIs. How they jump from one body to another and how soon they show up on tests or can be shared from you to someone else. Yes, it's scary, but it's LIFE. Nobody said it would be easy or safe. If someone did, they LIED.

 

3. PROTECT YOURSELF - No one else will do it for you. That means decide what you want and the risks you're willing to take. Get the vaccines if you can afford them or if your insurance covers them. Use condoms. Get on PrEP if you can afford it. This also means don't put yourself in situations that are beyond your risk tolerance.

 

4. BE HONEST - People lie. They lie all the time to themselves and to each other for all kinds of reasons. Know your own motivations. Know how to protect yourself and try to be as honest with yourself as possible.

 

If you want to have sex with escorts, great! Many of us do. But, don't delude yourself. They're a very high risk group simply because of the sheer number of people they have sexual activity with on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. Many of them are responsible. Use condoms. Get tested. Etc. BUT, the sheer numbers mean that every single escort will almost certainly get one or more STD/STI at least once in their lives. Perfection doesn't exist. If that's what you want, sorry. Maybe in the next life.

 

To try to get back on topic:

 

I am current on all my vaccines. I know all the signs/symptoms of major STDs/STIs AND I know that many men are usually asymptomatic (don't show observable signs of infection) for many STDs/STIs. I try to practice the best SAFER SEX (safe sex doesn't exist) I know how to have with another person. That starts the moment I talk to them because I'm trying to gauge their trustworthiness, honesty, etc. for when we discuss statuses, risks, and expectations. I use condoms for anal sex. I don't for oral unless my partner insists. My oral hygiene is good and I gargle with Listerine (did you see the studies about it helping prevent gonorrhea?) before and after I have oral intimacy (kissing, sucking, rimming, etc.) with someone other than my wife.

 

Hmm. I think I had too much coffee this morning. Stopping now.

[caliguy]

 

If you want to have sex with escorts, great! Many of us do. But, don't delude yourself. They're a very high risk group simply because of the sheer number of people they have sexual activity with on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. Many of them are responsible. Use condoms. Get tested. Etc. BUT, the sheer numbers mean that every single escort will almost certainly get one or more STD/STI at least once in their lives. Perfection doesn't exist. If that's what you want, sorry. Maybe in the next life.

 

You can apply that to guys on the hook up sites like Grindr too. Hell especially those sites. Nothing more then an electronic bathhouses. Worse because the sex addicts aren't limited by anything anymore. It's 24/7 with them now. Then you make the mistake of hooking up with one of these fuck bunnies and you just assumed all of their risky behavior too.

 

Age is a factor too. I used to pick them up like a magnet. That stopped when I got older. That and not going to bathouses anymore. Allot can be gleamed by meeting someone in a normal situation where you can size them up first. A little bit of old fashioned getting to know someone first goes a long way.

[+ sniper]

I find a lot of my younger friends are extremely reckless. When one of them told me he figured he'd had about 300 different partners in the last 3 months(not an escort, and he had a full-time job) I didn't really know what to say.

[caliguy]

No need to be insulting to other forum members. If you don't want the opinion of others, then please do not speak your mind. As a few others have stated, I now believe your original intent of this thread was to start another chaotic cluster of negativity. P.S. Daddy doesn't like grinches.

 

 

 

Wildly inaccurate. Stigmatizing HIV is becoming tiresome and is very immature.

I don't know if you're aware of Youngsters history but insulting members is his forte as in being a troll. Instigating shit is the reason he's brought this made up story to us. That's why I don't directly respond to him.

[bigvalboy]

I don't know if you're aware of Youngsters history but insulting members is his forte as in being a troll. Instigating shit is the reason he's brought this made up story to us. That's why I don't directly respond to him.

 

Exactly...don't feed the trolls.

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/warning-there-be-trolls-here.62829/#post-555770

[caliguy]

I find a lot of my younger friends are extremely reckless. When one of them told me he figured he'd had about 300 different partners in the last 3 months(not an escort, and he had a full-time job) I didn't really know what to say.

I think most of us were though to varying degrees.

[LivingnLA]

I find a lot of my younger friends are extremely reckless. When one of them told me he figured he'd had about 300 different partners in the last 3 months(not an escort, and he had a full-time job) I didn't really know what to say.

 

Yes and that's largely thanks to how effective modern treatments for HIV have been and societal condom fatigue AND add in PrEP, we have many young people who are fucking, sucking, jacking nearly anybody anytime anywhere. It's no surprise STD/STI rates are climbing and we're seeing treatment resistant strains more frequently. The increased "cross pollination" has an impact. That's why I won't be surprised if and when the Truvada resistant HIV strains become much more prevalent. The funny thing about evolution, create an environment and with enough generations, successful mutations will occur and dominate very rapidly.

[marylander1940]

One thing happened to me recently made me to think more... I contacted one very well known escort and porn performer who is currently visiting my town. We f*ed with him about 2 years ago but I now have new phone number so he didn't recognize me. Very soon he texted me: "I'm pos, undetectable, is it a deal breaker?" I answered: "Wait... Was you already pos 2 years ago?". He answered: "yes. Why?". F***ck! I don't meet so many hot escorts because I def know they are HIV pos. But that guy was also pos and I didn't know that! And his escorting partner he travels with is pos too! Do really neg escorts still exist in nature??? Probably not:((( now I'm thinking that the less hardcore stuff you do with escorts the better for your health and future. Of course you will now tell me "magic words": truvada, condoms... Of course I do condoms all the time, but... You know. As for truvada: stop believing in fairytales. Everyone sane knows : prep story is very controversial, even NY Times wrote about that for you. Do not believe one extremely active porn maker and truvada ambassador whose nickname name is XXXXXXX that pos escort I've told you about even works for that porn maker. I'm almost sure "XXXXXXX" is poz himself...

Your thoughts, guys???

 

First of all I'm sorry about what happened to you and the way he scared the hell out of you with that comment.

 

Everybody is poz except you.

 

Wear a condom, go and PrEP while wearing a condom, and you'll minimize the risk but unless you abstain yourself from sex every time you play you'll playing the Russian roulette.

 

Let's do the math now, and consider a very successful escort will see 10 guys per week and 560 in a year (many of them repeat clients) other clients who hire him for overnights and have sex 3 or 4 times during that period. Escorts are a high risk population for HIV and other diseases but at the end every encounter is unique and is up to you to have sex with the escort or not.

 

Ps.: I'm aware of more many escorts who declared themselves to be "undetectable" on Grindr but they're negative for business, one of them even told a friend of mine in Baltimore about yet kept fucking BB other clients, and I'm talking about the early 2000's now just a couple of years ago.

[marylander1940]

...

 

But we all know abstinence doesn't work...

 

 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hWAVXHNngbk/Sgrtw6A87HI/AAAAAAAAEEY/BBP9XTkmhi4/s400/abstinence_fairy000.jpg

 

http://memes.doublie.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/sick-stomach.jpg

 

 

and pulling out ain't effective and it ain't abstinence either. LOL

 

[+ WmClarke]

Yes and that's largely thanks to how effective modern treatments for HIV have been and societal condom fatigue AND add in PrEP, we have many young people who are fucking, sucking, jacking nearly anybody anytime anywhere. It's no surprise STD/STI rates are climbing and we're seeing treatment resistant strains more frequently. The increased "cross pollination" has an impact. That's why I won't be surprised if and when the Truvada resistant HIV strains become much more prevalent. The funny thing about evolution, create an environment and with enough generations, successful mutations will occur and dominate very rapidly.

And some of them just don't think HIV is a big deal. One young guy I know who barebacks only told me he didn't worry about it because, "If I get HIV I'll just take meds. No biggie."

[LivingnLA]

And some of them just don't think HIV is a big deal. One young guy I know who barebacks only told me he didn't worry about it because, "If I get HIV I'll just take meds. No biggie."

 

Yup, which is what I said but you said it more concisely and clearly!

[marylander1940]

I find a lot of my younger friends are extremely reckless. When one of them told me he figured he'd had about 300 different partners in the last 3 months(not an escort, and he had a full-time job) I didn't really know what to say.

 

300 ÷ 92 (2 months of 31 and one of 30 days) = 3.2 guys per day

 

Even considering none of them repeated on your friend I think that number is an exaggeration, I would say he had 100 partners in the last 3 months.

[LookingAround]

Thanks to everybody except PrEP fairytalers for answering.

 

To be clear. I'm not surprised an escort can be HIV positive like one guy told about me here. I just know and gether really LOTS of info about people. And I'm surprised HOW MANY OF ESCORTS ARE POS IN FACT. Almost everyone. I knew about hundreds and hundreds pos escorting guys. And finally a guy who was always represented as "Neg, on prep", whom I kinda trusted and even f*ed with telling me "I'm pos, undetectable" and that he even knew he was pos 2 years ago...

 

My personal choice nowadays will be only so to speak soft-core scenes with escorts, even when they offer me to meet up for free on grindr. No hardcore scenes

 

You have serious misinformation going on bordering on "fake news." If you want to believe silliness that's fine but please don't impart it to others as fact.

[LivingnLA]

300 ÷ 92 (2 months of 31 and one of 30 days) = 3.2 guys per day

 

Even considering none of them repeated on your friend I think that number is an exaggeration, I would say he had 100 partners in the last 3 months.

 

Maybe, but 3 per day isn't outrageous for some of those very high risk individuals. I'm thinking the ones who like bathrooms, bathhouses, gloryholes, and gangbang parties where they'll hangout and have sex for hours with multiple people. Drugs may play a part, but we can't assume 3 per day is extreme. It's completely viable for a teen to early twenties human male to ejaculate/orgasm upwards of 7-10 times per day for many days in a row. And if he's mostly bottoming, orally or anally, he can easily engage with many men per day without exhaustion.

[LookingAround]

I find a lot of my younger friends are extremely reckless. When one of them told me he figured he'd had about 300 different partners in the last 3 months(not an escort, and he had a full-time job) I didn't really know what to say.

 

Try "congratulations sir!"

[LivingnLA]

Try "congratulations sir!"

 

Lol! I'd want to understand what's driving this person to engage in sexual activity with so many people. What does he gain from it? What are his motivations? How is he protecting himself and those he engages with?

 

I'd likely say, get help because it sounds compulsive or potentially self-destructive.

[LookingAround]

Why all this sex shaming? Kinda the wrong site to be reading if you're into sex shaming.

[LivingnLA]

Why all this sex shaming? Kinda the wrong site to be reading if you're into sex shaming.

 

I'm not sex shaming. There's nothing that I've said from a shameful point of view. All of it comes from a perspective of self awareness, happiness, and healthfulness. Having sex with 3 different people per day every day for 3 months is a high amount of sexual activity for a human being. There's nothing shaming in recognizing the reality and seeking to confirm the person's awareness of the risks, their motivations, etc.

[corndog]

I think that the recent science about "poz/undetectable" people being unable to spread the HIV virus is a huge step toward ending HIV stigma. Of course, just like the guy who claims to be negative, we can't be sure that the guy who claims to be undetectable actually is. Guys lie.

 

Having said that, the guys that really horrify me are the ones who claim (or believe) that they're HIV-negative, aren't on PrEP, and are willing to bareback. That is simply not a sustainable condition. These are the ones, in my opinion, who are most likely to be newly seroconverted, unaware of their positive status, and most highly contagious.

 

In my personal continuum of risk, I rank these claims from safest to riskiest:

 

1. "I'm neg, on PrEP. Let's use condoms."

2. "I'm neg. Let's use condoms."

3. "I'm poz/undectable. Let's use condoms."

4. "I'm poz. Let's use condoms."

5. "I'm neg, on PrEP. Prefer bare."

6. "I'm poz/undetectable. Prefer bare."

7. "I'm poz. Prefer bare."

8. "I'm neg. Prefer bare."

 

Before I recently started PrEP, I think I was only comfortable with #1 & #2. Now, I'm feeling pretty comfortable with #1-5, and possibly #6. I have personal respect for guys who claim #7, but my faith in PrEP isn't quite strong enough to overcome my ingrained fear. Guys who claim #8, I judge to be insane idiots. They piss me off.

[LookingAround]

I'm not sex shaming. There's nothing that I've said from a shameful point of view. All of it comes from a perspective of self awareness, happiness, and healthfulness. Having sex with 3 different people per day every day for 3 months is a high amount of sexual activity for a human being. There's nothing shaming in recognizing the reality and seeking to confirm the person's awareness of the risks, their motivations, etc.

 

A little different above from what you wrote in your post which did sound judgmental where you said

"get help because it sounds compulsive or potentially self-destructive."

[marylander1940]

Maybe, but 3 per day isn't outrageous for some of those very high risk individuals. I'm thinking the ones who like bathrooms, bathhouses, gloryholes, and gangbang parties where they'll hangout and have sex for hours with multiple people. Drugs may play a part, but we can't assume 3 per day is extreme. It's completely viable for a teen to early twenties human male to ejaculate/orgasm upwards of 7-10 times per day for many days in a row. And if he's mostly bottoming, orally or anally, he can easily engage with many men per day without exhaustion.

 

You're right, is not a matter of personality, willingness, but a matter of timing considering he has a full time job, and whether he is picky or simply has the door open and waits for guys to stop by and breed him... I see your point, even 10 per day might be possible.

 

There's a twink up in Adams Morgan (for a submissive bottom he's too hyper) but when he's in the mood he leaves the door open for guys to stop by and unload.

[marylander1940]

Lol! I'd want to understand what's driving this person to engage in sexual activity with so many people. What does he gain from it? What are his motivations? How is he protecting himself and those he engages with?

 

I'd likely say, get help because it sounds compulsive or potentially self-destructive.

 

Acceptance, he's horny, attention, control over others or others controlling him?

 

Who knows...

 

Maybe your friend @youngster should escort, after all he's career oriented.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJXWRhRJdnQ

[LivingnLA]

A little different above from what you wrote in your post which did sound judgmental where you said

"get help because it sounds compulsive or potentially self-destructive."

 

I see your point, but you left off the "I'd likely say," revealing my intent. It wasn't from shame. It was from parental concern for well-being and safety coupled with several decades of knowledge in human psychology and sexuality.

[marylander1940]

A little different above from what you wrote in your post which did sound judgmental where you said

"get help because it sounds compulsive or potentially self-destructive."

 

I get the your point... I don't think @LivingnLA meant it in a slut shaming way.

 

He just wondered why someone with a full job and his life apparently in order does something like this in private.

 

May I say we all do things we shouldn't?

 

http://cdn.skim.gs/image/upload/v1456339279/msi/Giphy_dog_hoarder_ztuku9.gif

[+ sniper]

Well honestly I do think the guy in question had some issues with depression(independent of knowing about his partner count). I don't think it was simply that sex was his pastime.