Male Sex Work for the Disabled

[+ newguy]

Can anyone share brief experiences with disabled clients?

 

By "disabled" I guess one has to include both physical

and mental disabilities.

 

And I have to ask: is this ever a turn-on?

[Juan Vancouver]

I personally prefer to keep these kind of experiences private, as they were never intended to be for public edification or even worse, to feed someone's spurious curiosity.

 

I know it is different in the US, but in my culture, a good deed you publicize becomes just an ego trip.

 

Last thing worth noting, in my opinion, is that I genuinely believe the term "disabled" is imprecise and unfair. Everyone has abilities, it's just that sometimes different people have different abilities. I believe it is much more fair and precise to talk about people you are referring to, as differently-abled. But that is just my opinion.

 

And is engaging in a loving, intimate act with another human being a turn on? Yes.

[+ purplekow]

You do not have Kardashians in Canada?

[+ newguy]

It may be even more helpful to spread one's knowledge. How else can we or others

learn? This is, as some people say, "the last closet." Some people are proud of their disabilities.

Amongst egg=heads, this is "crip theory" (a deliberate abbreviation of "crippled."), or

as expressed in the slogan, "it's hip to be crip." Stories of "crips coming out" were first published

in the marvelous book, below.

 

We are are disabled in some way. I don't think it is such a horrible word, but others do disagree for good reason. I've heard the term "neurodiversity" instead of autism.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Crip-Theory-Cultural-Queerness-Disability/dp/0814757138/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1464206818&sr=1-1&keywords=crip+theory+cultural+signs+of+queerness+and+disability

[Bearofdistinction]

You do not have Kardashians in Canada?

 

No the Canadians have developed a spray to keep Kardashians' and Bed Bugs' away!

[+ newguy]

I personally prefer to keep these kind of experiences private, as they were never intended to be for public edification or even worse, to feed someone's spurious curiosity.

 

I know it is different in the US, but in my culture, a good deed you publicize becomes just an ego trip.

 

Last thing worth noting, in my opinion, is that I genuinely believe the term "disabled" is imprecise and unfair. Everyone has abilities, it's just that sometimes different people have different abilities. I believe it is much more fair and precise to talk about people you are referring to, as differently-abled. But that is just my opinion.

 

And is engaging in a loving, intimate act with another human being a turn on? Yes.

 

Years and years ago a (dis)abled gay comic produced a hilarious DVD on gay sex and (dis)ability, called "Fuck the Disabled." I found this uploaded on Youtube. Some on this website may not find this humorous

 

[Frequentflier]

You do not have Kardashians in Canada?

 

Can we send them? No warranty and no returns allowed.

[Juan Vancouver]

Don't imagine the mean border officers would let them in.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Can anyone share brief experiences with disabled clients?

 

By "disabled" I guess one has to include both physical

and mental disabilities.

 

And I have to ask: is this ever a turn-on?

 

I am, by training, an occupational therapist. Occupational therapists are the folks who make sure you can live independently (get dressed, cook a meal, take a shower) while living with an injury or illness. I have advanced degrees and 15 years of practice under my belt and I specialize in sex for those with different than normal abilities. The turn-on isn't the difference in ability or the illness or injury - it's the look on someone's face when you can understand what's happening to them and give them a way to have sex (or get dressed, etc).

[Bearofdistinction]

I am, by training, an occupational therapist. Occupational therapists are the folks who make sure you can live independently (get dressed, cook a meal, take a shower) while living with an injury or illness. I have advanced degrees and 15 years of practice under my belt and I specialize in sex for those with different than normal abilities. The turn-on isn't the difference in ability or the illness or injury - it's the look on someone's face when you can understand what's happening to them and give them a way to have sex (or get dressed, etc).

 

Having had need of an OT on one occasion I can tell you that these professionals must possess infinite patience, immense amounts of compassion and take joy from the smallest of victories. They are truly amazing people!

[+ Eric Hassan]

Having had need of an OT on one occasion I can tell you that these professionals must possess infinite patients, immense amounts of compassion and take joy from the smallest of victories. They are truly amazing people!

 

That's very kind of you. Being an OT certainly has given me perspective that I would not have otherwise.

[Bearofdistinction]

BOOM!!! Awesome response! "Happy Dance" to make this my first post! :D

 

Thanks SO much @Eric Hassan for having the courage to broach a subject that makes most everyone (escorts and clients) uncomfortable. I've just recently joined the forum after months of being a lurker and although I find the reviews and advice here indispensible, I was disappointed in the lack topics and/or posts about disabled clients when I did my very first forum search.

 

Yup, mild to severely impaired men hire, albeit sometimes it feels more like playing Russian Roulette. Statistically, we are more likely to be victimized, exploited, abused etc. etc. and it seems the stigma of being Gay AND Disabled is far greater than for my HET peers who hire female escorts.

 

Just a small reality check.....Being neurologically impaired since childhood ( I"m not down with the whole uber-PC "neurodiversity" junk), I'm used to even the simplest tasks being 1000x more complicated. Hiring an escort is like scaling Mt Everest. Forget being picky about looks, body type, neurotypical Top/Bottom roles--the extremely limited "choices" of escorts consist of men who won't kill, maim, and most important won't freak the fuck out. Most people view the neurologically/mentally challenged ( if we aren't completely invisible) as sexless and are always shocked to suddenly figure out that a seemingly empty shell's mind is functioning at top speed (and at times utterly horndog depraved..LOL), yet the body may be pretty much randomly doing WTF whatever.

 

If you aren't experienced and well-informed about specific disorders (the reason God invented Google), behaviors can be frighteningly "misinterpreted", for apraxia/aphasia impaired clients, face-to-face communication can be frustratingly slooooooow or confusing, time constraints are a nightmare (a one hour get-to-know-you session??!! PFTTTTTTTT, righhhhht..LOL).

 

There was a point here somewhere.... OH Yeah, my search thus far has been a hot mess, but I have a great team of empathetic caregivers and we view escorts as just another form of caregiving, only WAYYYYY more fun. Many thanks to Daddy's Reviews and forum, I'm more confident and optimistic than ever.

 

As for the OP ......FYI, I am NOT a fetish.

 

Blessings to you on your search -- depending on where you are geographically located there are some wonderful - caring -

non-judgmental gentleman callers - Eric Hassan has self-identified, Mickey-Blue-Eyes in SF is also physically challenged and a wonderfully expressive man that I believe delivers.

 

Gentleman like Tyger in Portland - and from What I have Hear Tiger and Ace (a couple) are very open to those of us otherly abled and I am sure that based on their reviews and comments that there are many other gentleman who would love

to make you happy ---

 

Just this weekend I had a wonderful time as I ate his taint he asked me to treat it more rough as I fucked his taint with my hard furry chin and my teeth -- he deepthroated my cock and abused my balls --- till we both came together a second time --- Amazingly HOT

 

Do not be afraid to ask . . ..

 

Sorry I keep Editing --- Because I keep thing of important things to share for guys just starting to look . . . .

 

BE up front - Be proud of who and what you are - Share the information of any limitations -- if the guy is reluctant and not just seeking more info --- Share -- If Not don't waste your money

 

== There are wonderful men who will treat you like you deserve to be treated -- they will see you for what you are --- and not for what you are not! The search may hurt - but it is worth it to find that Real Man who sees the beauty of your heart and mind and the wonders of your body.

 

LLL~

[+ saminseattle]

It may be even more helpful to spread one's knowledge. How else can we or others

learn?

 

There is a great deal of stigma/ridicule/condemnation directed at the clients of sex workers these days. In the media, they are often portrayed as depraved exploiters of the disadvantaged or pathetic losers who can’t form “real relationships.” The “Swedish model” seeks to reduce criminal sanctions on the seller while intensifying sanctions on the buyer, hoping to “end demand.”

 

But this media narrative rarely addresses the desire of disabled clients to have an intimate, physical connection with another human being. I suspect that if stories like the one discussed in this thread were more often part of the dialogue, many people would back away from their tired stereotypes and judgmental attitudes:

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/at-times-im-so-proud-of-my-kids.111642/

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I have seen men with various impairments and difficulties, most recently I had what was definitely my most emotionally challenging appointment. It was with a man who had terminal brain cancer and was living in hospice for his final few months. His best friend/ ex-partner reached out to me upon the recommendation of a mutual friend. He wanted me to just spend some sensual and erotic time with him. It was difficult because he no longer had movement in his legs, nor much short term memory, and his cognitive disanance was pretty extreme. While there were certainly moments when he was very present, he would constantly lose focus and "drift off".

 

I felt so blessed that I got to share that time with him and while I know that he probably didn't remember every moment, I can only hope that the feeling remained. I got an email from his friend about 3 weeks later to let me know that he had passed and how happy he was that I was able to share that with him.

 

I felt so blessed, in advance of the appointment that I was able to have a great conversation with Cheryl Greene, the woman on whom the movie The Sessions is based. She shared some great wisdom and advice.

 

I agree with @Eric Hassan, a disability or impairment is in no way a "turn-on", but sharing such beautiful energy with someone, that is what I enjoy.

[+ Eric Hassan]

BOOM!!! Awesome response! "Happy Dance" to make this my first post! :D

 

Thanks SO much @Eric Hassan for having the courage to broach a subject that makes most everyone (escorts and clients) uncomfortable. I've just recently joined the forum after months of being a lurker and although I find the reviews and advice here indispensible, I was disappointed in the lack topics and/or posts about disabled clients when I did my very first forum search.

 

Yup, mild to severely impaired men hire, albeit sometimes it feels more like playing Russian Roulette. Statistically, we are more likely to be victimized, exploited, abused etc. etc. and it seems the stigma of being Gay AND Disabled is far greater than for my HET peers who hire female escorts.

 

Just a small reality check.....Being neurologically impaired since childhood ( I"m not down with the whole uber-PC "neurodiversity" junk), I'm used to even the simplest tasks being 1000x more complicated. Hiring an escort is like scaling Mt Everest. Forget being picky about looks, body type, neurotypical Top/Bottom roles--the extremely limited "choices" of escorts consist of men who won't kill, maim, and most important won't freak the fuck out. Most people view the neurologically/mentally challenged ( if we aren't completely invisible) as sexless and are always shocked to suddenly figure out that a seemingly empty shell's mind is functioning at top speed (and at times utterly horndog depraved..LOL), yet the body may be pretty much randomly doing WTF whatever.

 

If you aren't experienced and well-informed about specific disorders (the reason God invented Google), behaviors can be frighteningly "misinterpreted", for apraxia/aphasia impaired clients, face-to-face communication can be frustratingly slooooooow or confusing, time constraints are a nightmare (a one hour get-to-know-you session??!! PFTTTTTTTT, righhhhht..LOL).

 

There was a point here somewhere.... OH Yeah, my search thus far has been a hot mess, but I have a great team of empathetic caregivers and we view escorts as just another form of caregiving, only WAYYYYY more fun. Many thanks to Daddy's Reviews and forum, I'm more confident and optimistic than ever.

 

As for the OP ......FYI, I am NOT a fetish.

 

My pleasure! Thank YOU for posting and for sharing a little of what it's like for you to think about/approach hiring, and for sharing a little insight into your life. If you're ever in NYC, please let me know.

[Strafe13]

I must say that although Eric Hassan and Lance Navarro are already attractive men, upon my reading their responses in this thread, they've suddenly become exponentially sexier. Guys like them (& Juan) are what make this hobby about so much more than just casual sex (not that there's anything wrong with that). The intimate emotional connection they offer to their clients is such a beautiful service. There really is a nobility to this profession.

[+ Truereview]

BOOM!!! Awesome response! "Happy Dance" to make this my first post! :D

 

Thanks SO much @Eric Hassan for having the courage to broach a subject that makes most everyone (escorts and clients) uncomfortable. I've just recently joined the forum after months of being a lurker and although I find the reviews and advice here indispensible, I was disappointed in the lack topics and/or posts about disabled clients when I did my very first forum search.

 

Yup, mild to severely impaired men hire, albeit sometimes it feels more like playing Russian Roulette. Statistically, we are more likely to be victimized, exploited, abused etc. etc. and it seems the stigma of being Gay AND Disabled is far greater than for my HET peers who hire female escorts.

 

Just a small reality check.....Being neurologically impaired since childhood ( I"m not down with the whole uber-PC "neurodiversity" junk), I'm used to even the simplest tasks being 1000x more complicated. Hiring an escort is like scaling Mt Everest. Forget being picky about looks, body type, neurotypical Top/Bottom roles--the extremely limited "choices" of escorts consist of men who won't kill, maim, and most important won't freak the fuck out. Most people view the neurologically/mentally challenged ( if we aren't completely invisible) as sexless and are always shocked to suddenly figure out that a seemingly empty shell's mind is functioning at top speed (and at times utterly horndog depraved..LOL), yet the body may be pretty much randomly doing WTF whatever.

 

If you aren't experienced and well-informed about specific disorders (the reason God invented Google), behaviors can be frighteningly "misinterpreted", for apraxia/aphasia impaired clients, face-to-face communication can be frustratingly slooooooow or confusing, time constraints are a nightmare (a one hour get-to-know-you session??!! PFTTTTTTTT, righhhhht..LOL).

 

There was a point here somewhere.... OH Yeah, my search thus far has been a hot mess, but I have a great team of empathetic caregivers and we view escorts as just another form of caregiving, only WAYYYYY more fun. Many thanks to Daddy's Reviews and forum, I'm more confident and optimistic than ever.

 

As for the OP ......FYI, I am NOT a fetish.

Welcome to the forum! I hope we hear your voice more often!

 

And I have to ask: is this ever a turn-on?

I'm going to tackle this part of newguy's query. If we can't talk about this stuff here, where can we? If I offend anyone, that's not my intent. I just want the OP to not feel like he is being judged for asking a simple question to which I believe some of us can contribute. I could see this being a slippery slope for some current escorts to talk openly about it, so since I'm way retired, I will do my best. Go easy on me guys...this is just dialogue.

 

Is this ever a turn-on? Short answer:Yes.

 

Long answer: As some of you know, I escorted in my 20s. And I was hired by men of all types, including men with disabilities. And yes, for me, the difference, the disability itself was a turn on. I still find that very much a turnon for me. The more different the man is from me, the more interested I am in him, particularly if it is for a sexual experience. I had a regular who had CP. he used to fly me into NYC and we had amazing sex because his disability got me hard like I had never experienced. I also know and knew men who share an even more intense desire for men with disabilities. For me it is the difference, for some other men it is a power dynamic and for others it is a desire to please. No real trends but then again the community is small. I'm not saying this is right or wrong....it just is! I'm now gonna be even more vulnerable: my partner was deaf...I was initially attracted to him because he was deaf. To me, his disability was beautiful and his ability to listen and hear me in a different way was unbelievably hot. 10 years later, I still miss our conversations and I get hard thinking about him. Ok, enuff spilling of my guts.

 

So @newguy - yes, it exists and, yes it can be a turn-on.

[Juan Vancouver]

By reading the diametrically opposed responses in this thread, I have learnt that there are two very different ways to experience desire:

 

One is by latching unto a specific characteristic(s) of our partner, heighten it, build a whole fantasy about it, fetishize it, seek it actively, and be less interested in people who lack that characteristic. It can be a huge cock, a small cock, green eyes, morbid obesity, the ability to cum seven times, lacking a limb, you name it. There same person can have a different set of fetishes and or characteristics and might seek partners who have one or many of them. The humanity of the partner, the whole personality are less important than the characteristic. As long as the turn on is present, the interaction will be fulfilling.

 

The other way is by acknowledging the whole humanity of the partner, understanding his or her uniqueness, being interested in what is less apparent and having curiosity to see what the partner shows or conceals and deriving intense pleasure in this dance of further closeness. Physical characteristics of the partner are less important, and while some of those characteristics may be attractive and sexually alluring, the most attractive factor in the interaction is being present and loving of the whole human being in front of us. The partner can have a big cock or a small one, (or none) he can be morbidly obese or incredibly fit, he can have all his limbs or have none; none of that matters. As long as he is a human being and one is able to be present, loving and respectful in his (or her) presence, and as long as one is able to be vulnerable, open and intimate, the interaction will be fulfilling.

 

I don't think one way is better than the other. I believe both have their merits and can be fulfilling to different people.

 

The real trick in finding fulfillment during intimacy is to learn to be fully honest with ourselves about what form of interaction we prefer and actively seek out partners who seem to appreciate the same form of intimacy. Otherwise we might be at risk of living unfulfilled and frustrated.

 

Not to say an intimacy seeker can't seek out a huge dick or a dick hound might not surrender to a moment of closeness. Both are possible and could be exciting. But we all have our preferred settings and the more we know about ourselves the better we will be able to find a good match.

 

What I take home after reading all this is:

 

Seek out partners who are more likely to help you experience the kind of human contact you prefer.

 

Therein lies the secret to fulfilling intimacy.

[Juan Vancouver]

As for the OP ......FYI, I am NOT a fetish.

 

To me you are not. You are a human being. Unique, exquisite, multilayered. I hope you encounter many men and women who will be able to honour and celebrate this.

[gallahadesquire]

I recently hired someone who posts here frequently. I described myself as "mildly disabled" and was mildly chided for using that term.

 

"You're not disabled," he told me, "You have a mild disability. Think of it that way."

 

He made me re-think all sorts of my own misconceptions about myself, and I am grateful to him for that.

 

He also pointed out the quandary for the escort: When and How Much help to offer. Another dimension of the necessity of communication.

[+ Truereview]

When I first read the OP's post I wondered if perhaps it was a disabled man seeking acceptance. Then when he posted the video, I was like. Ummmm, ew...whatever.

 

@Truereview No offence. What floats your boats sinks mine. Are you sure it's the disability and not the vulnerability that turns you on? Now THAT I've run into. Same as the lopsided power exchange, the smothering nurturer, the Egomaniac, The Martyr. All ghosts that haunt my sex life past.

 

I understand there are diamonds in dem dere Gay mountains somewheres, I just personally haven't run into any and I wouldn't want to. Like Juan said (using much bigger words) men who are attracted to my outside aren't really interested in finding out I'm extraordinarily normal on the inside. Some disabilities don't assimilate in society as easy as say hearing impaired.

 

Feeling awkward has always been part of the process, and anything different starts the whole experience with a huge "squick" flag (my own version of a red flag) and isn't a good sign.

 

@Truereview , I'll have to politely agree to disagree this time . BTW how much sign do you remember?

 

Jizz.....everywhere! Thanks for that vid! Lol. And yes, it is totally cool to agree to disagree, particularly if you are polite and funny about it.

 

No, it is not vulnerability that floats my boat. Yes, there are guys who are into those power dynamics - the vulnerability angle that I think you refer to. I met a few of those guys, and it ain't for me....very sure of that. I see sex as an empowering and liberating tool. Also, I was bullied as a kid for being short, skinny and openly gay and the idea of me or someone else being vulnerable during sex is a total boner killer for me.

 

The only way I can explain my attraction to men with disabilities is that, for me, I'm just attracted to difference. the more different physically, the more im interested. But I'm also attracted to muscle heads, twinks, hunks, blah, blah. I readily admit my range of attraction has a special wet spot or boner for men with disabilities. Now, with that said, I was initially attracted to my partner bc he was deaf, but I developed a relationship with him bc of who he was - an unbelievable man. By the way, we haven't even scratched the surface on deafness in our society...it is a myth that it is more easily assimilated. That's for another thread tho. We can lock horns on that one later (giggle)

 

Anyway, I believe prefences, attractions, turn-ons can't be neatly put into boxes & categories. It irks me to hear really smart people say: if you are not this, then you must be that. Binary thinking is no bueno on the topic of sexuality and attraction. In my view, the problem with rules of attraction is that they cannot be explained or diagnosed by our previous experiences or by logic/reason.

 

Now, FC....I get a sense you are not so extraordinarily normal on the inside as you stated (nor a lamb - how you like my cross-thread humor? ). I have I feeling you are extraordinary. Keep posting!

[gallahadesquire]

+1

 

Jizz.....everywhere! Thanks for that vid! Lol. And yes, it is totally cool to agree to disagree, particularly if you are polite and funny about it.

 

No, it is not vulnerability that floats my boat. Yes, there are guys who are into those power dynamics - the vulnerability angle that I think you refer to. I met a few of those guys, and it ain't for me....very sure of that. I see sex as an empowering and liberating tool. Also, I was bullied as a kid for being short, skinny and openly gay and the idea of me or someone else being vulnerable during sex is a total boner killer for me.

 

The only way I can explain my attraction to men with disabilities is that, for me, I'm just attracted to difference. the more different physically, the more im interested. But I'm also attracted to muscle heads, twinks, hunks, blah, blah. I readily admit my range of attraction has a special wet spot or boner for men with disabilities. Now, with that said, I was initially attracted to my partner bc he was deaf, but I developed a relationship with him bc of who he was - an unbelievable man. By the way, we haven't even scratched the surface on deafness in our society...it is a myth that it is more easily assimilated. That's for another thread tho. We can lock horns on that one later (giggle)

 

Anyway, I believe prefences, attractions, turn-ons can't be neatly put into boxes & categories. It irks me to hear really smart people say: if you are not this, then you must be that. Binary thinking is no bueno on the topic of sexuality and attraction. In my view, the problem with rules of attraction is that they cannot be explained or diagnosed by our previous experiences or by logic/reason.

 

Now, FC....I get a sense you are not so extraordinarily normal on the inside as you stated (nor a lamb - how you like my cross-thread humor? ). I have I feeling you are extraordinary. Keep posting!

[Juan Vancouver]

I understand. You are absolutely right about my Binary thinking.

 

I may be also be having trouble reading very subtle social cues, but when he was talking about people with Binary thinking, I think he was not talking about you.

 

Wow, this post oughta really get the escorts excited about me huh? LOL. Oh well, back to the search.

 

Yes. You sound like a really easy going, fun guy.

 

AND you jizz all over the place! =)

[seaboy4hire]

I wont ever share specific details about my encounters with anyone but I will say this. Even those that have limitations due to a disability derserve much love and RESPECT just like anyone a fully able bodied person. If I were still hooking I would give my 110% to make sure that person has an awesome time based on their ability. To the folk who have limited ability you keep doing you and prove the nay sayers wrong!

 

Hugs and RESPECT,

Greg

[BryanKnight]

Physical disabilities require compassion, ALOT of creativity, and positive attitude always.

 

Mental disabilities are much harder.

 

Autism can make the client seem insensitive or antagonistic when they are just shy.

 

This doesn't include substance addiction, bipolar or more hostile mental illnesses. These are definitely situations you want to avoid if possible.

 

It seems alot of rich celebrities and people in power have mental and emotional disabilities. Not all, but more prevalent than middle class people in a hiring demographic.

 

Exercise extreme caution and good manners and patience. They will cause you great headaches, but a skilled escort may come out very rich during one of the *ahem* periods of good mood