In Honor of National Masturbation Month

[+ quoththeraven]

Sheesh! Really, QTR, did you have to let my boyfriend Kenny know that?

 

He thinks I only watch porn about him when he's away on business.

 

 

I just realized I know the show the gif is from. That was a hilarious episode.

[whipped guy]

Funny, I was tempted recently to buy a pair of undies that said "smart ass" on the back.

LOL! Incidentally I have heard the term "smart Dick" used as another way of saying "smart ass" or "smart Alec".

 

I would assume that being a "smart Dick" is different from being "dick smart" or even being a "dick head"!

 

With any luck most of us here are "dick smart" but not "dick heads"!

[whipped guy]

http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s545/WmClarke/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpslniqm6ol.jpeg

 

Hell, yes!

Perhaps we all needed this as kids!

 

http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/232/7868fd70-e067-0131-6ccf-0aa0f90d87b4.jpg?

 

Or should use this now!

 

 

After all it might mess up your plumbing in more ways than one!

 

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ku2j0lGn5H1qz8rb2o1_500.jpg

 

Not to mention that...

 

http://addictinginfo.addictinginfoent.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/every_sperm_is_sacred_poster-r61acce7499534d9ebbba46a0429674a0_wxt_400.jpg

[klifhangar]

I was, believe it or not, also very naive, and not nearly as self-confident as my experiences in my post above may have made me seem lol. In particular, I still fantasize about my "friend #2" in my post, whose name was Tim. He actually tried to seduce me several times, and though I know I wanted that, I wasn't really as aware of the signals he was sending, and not secure enough to understand that he really did want me. (I remember after my first experiment trading bj's with him, that afterward I desperately wanted to ask him if we could do it again sometime, but I was too shy to ask, thinking he might say no.) I can think of several times we hung out that things could have happened...and though we lost touch for a while during our teens, I regret not seeking him out for maybe a date or something when I was in high school and ready to come out.

 

I can think of another friend as well, Steven, who used to occasionally hint about blow jobs, but I was too shy to take the bait lol. We hung around a lot, but never got into anything sexual. We probably could have. (I do remember one time we were looking at a girlie mag together, and his hot comments about the pictures were turning me on. I remember him asking if I was getting a boner, and he kidded me about my denying it. But it never went beyond that. It should have, somehow.)

 

It's also interesting to me that those that clearly were hinting, all went on to be in straight relationships/marriages (including me). I have a coupe of buddies now that are married, kids etc. that hint, I think. I guess I'm still probably missing hints

[+ stevenkesslar]

I just realized I know the show the gif is from. That was a hilarious episode.

 

What show is it from? I just did a GIF search and found it. I have no clue what it is?

[+ quoththeraven]

What show is it from? I just did a GIF search and found it. I have no clue what it is?

 

It's a one-season Fox show called Almost Human that starred Karl Urban and Michael Ealy.

[+ stevenkesslar]

It's a one-season Fox show called Almost Human that starred Karl Urban and Michael Ealy.

 

Wow. What an appropriate name for a show on Fox. I Googled it and I would have guessed Sean Hannity was the star.

 

Seriously, neither of the stars you named are the guy in the GIF. Was he just some extra hanging around? If you know his name, my boyfriend Kenny and I would appreciate it. Kenny thought he might get some workout tips, and I figured he might be good for a threeway.

[klifhangar]

Wow. What an appropriate name for a show on Fox. I Googled it and I would have guessed Sean Hannity was the star.

 

Seriously, neither of the stars you named are the guy in the GIF. Was he just some extra hanging around? If you know his name, my boyfriend Kenny and I would appreciate it. Kenny thought he might get some workout tips, and I figured he might be good for a threeway.

 

The seemingly plastic lower half doesn't look like much fun.

[+ stevenkesslar]

The seemingly plastic lower half doesn't look like much fun.

 

Obviously you haven't had sex with my boyfriend Kenny.

[klifhangar]

Obviously you haven't had sex with my boyfriend Kenny.

 

Not yet

[+ quoththeraven]

Wow. What an appropriate name for a show on Fox. I Googled it and I would have guessed Sean Hannity was the star.

 

Seriously, neither of the stars you named are the guy in the GIF. Was he just some extra hanging around? If you know his name, my boyfriend Kenny and I would appreciate it. Kenny thought he might get some workout tips, and I figured he might be good for a threeway.

 

Actually, one of the stars is in the GIF. That's Karl Urban's back. (Karl Urban's character is Det. Kennex and is fully human.) The other guy was playing a humanoid low-level police officer who's more robotic/doll-like than the character played by Michael Ealy; that contrast was the point of the whole episode. (Guest star, basically.) Those scenes were very, shall we say, homoerotic in tone?

[samhexum]

A butcher from India was so upset at his son for watching porn that he went after him with a knife — and chopped off his hand, according to reports.

 

Mohammad Qayyum Qureshi, 45, was apparently sick and tired of catching his 18-year-old, Mohammad Khalid Qureshi, looking at smut on his smartphone.

 

Police officials told the Hindustan Times newspaper that the two had been arguing over his porn watching for quite some time before the alleged attack occurred Monday in the southern Indian city of Hyderabad.

 

Qayyum, who is charged with attempted murder, reportedly caught his son in the act the day before and gotten into a scuffle with him. The teen bit him on the hand and fled before eventually returning home on Sunday night, cops said.

 

When they woke up the next morning, they got into another argument over the porn — and that’s when Qayyum allegedly lost it.

 

As Khalid was defending his porn habits, cops said his father grabbed one of his butcher’s knives and chopped off nearly his entire hand in a fit of rage. He reportedly severed the limb at the wrist, leaving just barely enough flesh to keep it attached to his arm.

 

“Hearing the son’s screams, the other family members came and immediately took him to a nearby hospital, where the doctors said the hand was 90% severed,” police said, according to the Hindustan Times.

 

“The chances of restoring it are bleak.”