Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

[jackjackjack]

Do me wrong, and my inner child comes out & he's very Jewish...meaning you become dead to me.

Jews do forgive but only, and only after throwing so much Jewish guilt on you, you wish you were never born.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Jews do forgive but only, and only after throwing so much Jewish guilt on you, you wish you were never born.

 

If you were a Palestinian, they would throw you some extra things besides guilt.

[JDXXX]

Eventually, I forgive after a LOOOONG time.

 

Just out of curiosity, Rudy - how long is a LOOONNNNNGGG Time? 6, 7, 8 years?

 

Reason I'm asking because people I've known and met in the past, sometimes need that long of space to heal from what that person had done, so wondering if your the same way.

[Kuriousity]

Jews do forgive but only, and only after throwing so much Jewish guilt on you, you wish you were never born.

Well, since I am Catholic, then I can give double barrel guilt

[jackjackjack]

Sorry but I'm part Latino I out rank you. Now on your knees.

 

Hugs,

Greg

You telling someone to get on their knees. Really??? Aren't they usually telling you that? . Ok, ok, sorry got off topic. Now back to our regularly scheduled program... whatever that is.

[bigvalboy]

The offense wasn't purposely malicious, but more in the line of disregard for another.

 

I don't allow many people in my life, I don't ask very much from those that I do allow. I enjoy doing for others and rarely ask for anything in return. I do because I want to. To be disregarded by these individuals makes me once again doubt my judgement in character of others.

 

To be clear, I was speaking for myself, and not to your situation directly. Without knowing the specifics of your situation, perhaps I would say forgiving would be best, and then just move one.

[+ Truereview]

The offense wasn't purposely malicious, but more in the line of disregard for another.

 

I don't allow many people in my life, I don't ask very much from those that I do allow. I enjoy doing for others and rarely ask for anything in return. I do because I want to. To be disregarded by these individuals makes me once again doubt my judgement in character of others.

From your post, I hear you are still stinging. It is ok to feel pain and be disappointed and even be mad. Allow yourself to work thru these feelings bc if any of those FB friends come back to make amends, you'll need to be in the right space to allow them your forgiveness. Hearing what you are saying here, I have a funny feeling it is going to take you longer than the average bear to be in that space. Don't worry, you are not working on any deadline. The real friends will hang in there to enjoy your forgiveness when you can.

 

PS- do they (FB friends) know they messed up?

[body2body]

Mama always said " Don't get mad, get even".

[JDXXX]

From your post, I hear you are still stinging. It is ok to feel pain and be disappointed and even be mad. Allow yourself to work thru these feelings bc if any of those FB friends come back to make amends, you'll need to be in the right space to allow them your forgiveness. Hearing what you are saying here, I have a funny feeling it is going to take you longer than the average bear to be in that space. Don't worry, you are not working on any deadline. The real friends will hang in there to enjoy your forgiveness when you can.

 

+1.

[jackjackjack]

Lol. You guys are too much. :p

 

We are aren't we JDXXX? Partly because you bring out the best in us sir. Your posts make us laugh, cry, get angry but mostly make us think.

[Rudynate]

SeaboyforHire has the best answer. 'Forgive, don't forget'. And you don't want to carry around all that negative energy of holding a grudge.

 

People who spend a lot of time thinking about such things would tell you that forgetting is a necessary part of forgiving. Forgiving means that the slate is wiped clean. Forgiving without forgetting precludes a clean slate.

[JDXXX]

Mama always said " Don't get mad, get even".

 

True, but sometimes by the wounded individual getting even doesn't make the situation better - actually getting even can make a compromising situation 10 times worse and doesn't make you any better then they are.

 

Best to let karma do it's job as you just kick back with a bag of buttered popcorn and watch it all unfold for them which is the best revenge one can gain victory from anyday as you didn't have to do a thing.

[jackjackjack]

People who spend a lot of time thinking about such things would tell you that forgetting is a necessary part of forgiving. Forgiving means that the slate is wiped clean. Forgiving without forgetting precludes a clean slate.

 

But you can't forget. It is part of you. It is part of your memory. But it shouldn't affect your forgiveness.

[+ Truereview]

Guys, it doesn't matter what we think forgetting, forgiving, or holding a grudge means. What matters is what it means to the people involved in the situation. Talking it out is the only way to get on the same page. Don't split hairs over definitions - too academic. Work it out thru action instead.

[JDXXX]

I'm always amused when people claim to take the "High Road" but then wish Karma to do their dirty work, and have bad things happen to others.

 

It's not wishing bad on someone at all, but sometimes it's good for people who do nasty things unto others continuously to get a good dose of they're own medicine or else they'll keep doing it.

 

Why do you think our parents would punish us at times when we were bad or disobedient? To teach us a lesson so we don't keep repeating the same patterns that got us in trouble in the first place right? It's the scnero in this case when I refer to the word "Karma".

 

It's even written in the bible of those who "reap what they sow" meaning you get back what you put out there unto others as I'm a firm believer in that which is why I always believe in doing good and not bad. Being brought up as a Christian - it's the best way to avoid chaos, and not have "Karma" come back at you.

[bigvalboy]

Always best to forgive and move on as when you do that your the bigger person as karma can kick mean-girls (who do wrong and vicious acts unto others) in this world in the ass royally. Through karma, they'll see the "light" of they're many errors eventually.

 

Oh, karma can be painful; more painful then the revenge you may feel like plotting unto them which is why - it's best to always take the "high road" and watch what they put out will come back to them 10 times fold.

 

It's only a matter of time.

 

True, but sometimes by the wounded individual getting even doesn't make the situation better - actually getting even can make a compromising situation 10 times worse and doesn't make you any better then they are.

 

Best to let karma do it's job as you just kick back with a bag of buttered popcorn and watch it all unfold for them which is the best revenge one can gain victory from anyday as you didn't have to do a thing.

 

I'm always amused when people claim to take the 'High-Road' but then wish Karma to do their dirty work for them, and wish harm onto to others.

[Kuriousity]

I'm always amused when people claim to take the 'High-Road' but then wish Karma to do their dirty work for them, and wish harm onto to others.

 

I'm no High-Roader. I am out there shaking the pom-poms for Miss Karma

[bigvalboy]

It's not wishing bad on someone at all, but sometimes it's good for people who do nasty things unto others continuously to get a good dose of they're own medicine or else they'll keep doing it.

.

 

Thank you for proving my point. I don't sit around with a bag of popcorn, and wish revenge on anyone. Each to his own. I am left wondering, who the mean-girl really is.

[MiamiLooker]

I'm always amused when people claim to take the 'High-Road' but then wish Karma to do their dirty work for them, and wish harm onto to others.

Actions speak louder than words. We all know that just because someone claims to take the "high road" doesn't mean they actually take it.

[MiamiLooker]

I'm no High-Roader. I am out there shaking the pom-poms for Miss Karma

Karma is simply wishful thinking.

[Kuriousity]

Karma is simply wishful thinking.

 

I don't take a squat on your worldview, so extend me the same courtesy.

[+ WmClarke]

I'm kind of like Sweeney Todd. "He never forgets and he never forgives"

 

I don't forget. I don't forgive. I hold grudges. But I don't usually act on the grudges, so eventually they fade into an occasionally annoying memory.

 

But 2016 is already a shitty year and I may just have to act on this one.

[+ Truereview]

I'm kind of like Sweeney Todd. "He never forgets and he never forgives"

 

I don't forget. I don't forgive. I hold grudges. But I don't usually act on the grudges, so eventually they fade into an occasionally annoying memory.

 

But 2016 is already a shitty year and I may just have to act on this one.

Own it, baby! Just no guns, ok?

[+ WmClarke]

Own it, baby! Just no guns, ok?

You got it! No much of a gun guy anyway, though I do enjoy the range once in a while.

[Rudynate]

No, of course you can't LITERALLY forget. The memory is there. But if you have forgiven and the thing that you have "forgiven" is still top of mind and you're waiting for the other shoe to drop, then you haven't forgiven.