Is something wrong with me or am I running with the wrong group?

[Atlantagaguy]

I agree with QTR. Their reaction might warrant a conversation about why they treated you that way.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what age group are we talking about?

The guy's were in their 40's and 50's. And the conversation started out fairly serious. The guy that started the conversation was very serious because he was wanting someone steady. (steady = High School, lol)

[Atlantagaguy]

Hey Guys, thanks for your input it’s very much appreciated. I had a nice conversation with one of the guys that was sitting next to me the other night and he wasn’t aware that he shut me out of the conversation the other night. We are good, in fact just he and I are going to dinner and a movie tomorrow night! I hope he has a big cock! lol

[rvwnsd]

The guy's were in their 40's and 50's. And the conversation started out fairly serious. The guy that started the conversation was very serious because he was wanting someone steady. (steady = High School, lol)

 

Oh, wow. Well, I know guys in that age bracket who think that way. It is unfortunate, but some guys never grow up.

 

Hey Guys, thanks for your input it’s very much appreciated. I had a nice conversation with one of the guys that was sitting next to me the other night and he wasn’t aware that he shut me out of the conversation the other night. We are good...

 

That is GREAT to hear!!!

 

... in fact just he and I are going to dinner and a movie tomorrow night! I hope he has a big cock! lol

 

LMFAO!

[jcmiami1]

I think you're reading into it too deeply. I have "shallow" conversations with my friends all the time but it's just silly sex stuff. The best analogy is someone who is about to ride a plane for the 1st time and they talk incessantly about the luggage, clothes to bring, etc then suddenly some one in a group conversation suddenly says "oh wow there was a plane crash years ago in the same type plane you're going on and 100 people died" It was just wrong timing. I will say behind all the sex BS shallow stuff...all of us wants to be wanted and loved...just most people can't or won't openly admit that.

[+ Truereview]

Hey Guys, thanks for your input it’s very much appreciated. I had a nice conversation with one of the guys that was sitting next to me the other night and he wasn’t aware that he shut me out of the conversation the other night. We are good, in fact just he and I are going to dinner and a movie tomorrow night! I hope he has a big cock! lol

Just a little note wishing you a good dinner and movie night! So glad you decided to connect 1:1!

[Becket]

I'll be in YOUR group, ATLGAGUY.

[+ friendofsheila]

I'd have to say that sex is important, and even agree that great sex at the start is essential.

 

This leaves not much room for slow learners. Or guys who get better over time.

 

I realize you don't want to take part in the Special Olympics guys, but it sure sounds like a narrow competition!

[mike carey]

This leaves not much room for slow learners. Or guys who get better over time.

 

I realize you don't want to take part in the Special Olympics guys, but it sure sounds like a narrow competition!

I was allowing more leeway than your comment assumes. I wasn't talking about a one-night audition followed by yes/no. 'Great sex' isn't an objectively defined standard, it's what each partner wants, and by 'at the start' I meant in the opening stages of a relationship, not just the first night. Working out that all the stars are aligned may take days or weeks.

[MikeyGMin]

I was allowing more leeway than your comment assumes. I wasn't talking about a one-night audition followed by yes/no. 'Great sex' isn't an objectively defined standard, it's what each partner wants, and by 'at the start' I meant in the opening stages of a relationship, not just the first night. Working out that all the stars are aligned may take days or weeks.

 

I wasn't really talking about technique either. There is certainly room for initial clumsiness. I'm talking about the heat factor. That if you aren't compatible - - top, bottom, versatile, whatever - - and completely hot for each other at the beginning of the relationship...it is doomed. Anything is possible, but I certainly have never experienced that heat factor growing over time.

[instudiocity]

I have a friend who falls madly in love with his boyfriends when dating. After a few dates (week+) they have sex. I ask him, "So how was it?" He says, "AMAZING!"

 

About a week later he and the AMZING sex partner have decided not to date any longer.

 

I've known this guy over 10 years, or 20 boyfriends.

[MikeyGMin]

We all know people like that. Most of us have BEEN people like that.

 

I'm not saying that the heat factor will make a relationship successful, but where the hell is it going to go if the answer to the question is "horrible" or "boring" or "we're both bottoms." Amazing doesn't last, but incompatible sure does.

[+ friendofsheila]

Mike's explanation sounds more broad than Mikey's.

[+ friendofsheila]

I'm talking about the heat factor. That if you aren't compatible - - top, bottom, versatile, whatever - - and completely hot for each other at the beginning of the relationship...it is doomed.

 

I think compatible here INCLUDES the fact that both parties share this same belief system.

[+ friendofsheila]

I think I'm coming from a place of answering the original question "What do you look for in a man?", this way: "Someone I enjoy talking to."

 

I also recall going to a presentation from two people who had done a study of how people find/choose their lasting partner, and the first conclusion the presenter told us was "Throw away your lists!" (the lists that say "must be tall, brunette, have a beautiful/big/huge/throbbing/bulbous whatsis, etc.")

 

EDIT: I think I should have said "find/choose their partners that have lasted successfully"

[+ Rickee]

Wrong group!

 

Each of has what they want or think is an ideal in a potential partner. All of your "friends" think a relationship is based purely on sexual desire. It's important, but I don't think any long term relationship will work based solely on sex. Well unless you're paying for it.

 

Furthermore, if your "friends" ostracize you for wanting something more than the physical... than I question whether they are truly your friends, in my opinion. That's a lame thing to do to someone, let alone a friend.

 

Maybe I'm wrong, but do what makes you happy dude.

+1