Being Asked to Pick a Third

[+ Truereview]

Will you be "live blogging" this undertaking, @Truereview?

 

 

Cheers,

BBD

Lol...definitely not. a boy has to have his limits!

[BtmBearDad]

a boy has to have his limits!

 

Oh pish-posh! It is all about expanding one's limits, mon frère!

[+ Lance_Navarro]

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.....

 

 

I call this song the co-dependency anthem.

[jawjateck]

I'm not a big fan of threesomes or moresomes. I've done some; a few were electric; most were just ok. Fortunately, there have been no outright failures. The reality rarely lives up to the fantasy hype. There's usually too much hard muscled flesh flying around to be able to sample and savor it all.

 

Just me, I'm quirky and would never outsource the selection of a third party to someone else, but I understand why some clients choose that option.

[borgerback]

Hm. I've had a three-way for my type of stuff (bondage games and teasing, not sex) in mind for well over a year, and I've played with the two guys I'm contemplating enough to believe it would work well; furthermore, I've discussed it with both of them, shared their ads with each other, and they are both up for it! The issue? Money. But I'm a pretty good saver (Christmas notwithstanding).

 

To answer the question, however, I'm not per se focused on being in charge of the selection, BUT I wouldn't have even thought of the scene if I didn't have quality experiences with BOTH escorts, alone, before trying to arrange the threesome. And I feel there are escorts I've been with who would NOT have worked well for what I'd be looking for with three. Having said that, and thinking about it for the first time as I'm posting this, there are a couple escorts I've been with who, if THEY suggested a third, I'd trust them completely to select that person. Maybe it wouldn't work, but I'd be up for the attempt. And that goes for the arrangement I'm contemplating - it may not work, for a variety of reasons, but I'm looking forward to giving it a try.

[borgerback]

Rub some dirt on it

 

Oh, Geminibear, you are SUCH a manly man! I LOVE this quote! Wish it was my attitude to pain and injury . . .

 

On the other hand, I've never rubbed dirt on a hurt feeling . . .

[Juan Vancouver]

But let me turn the question around on Lance and other escorts. You are travelling and a new client asks you to bring in a 3rd escort. You don't know the other escorts in the city but you do have a client in that city (or who knows that city well) that you know and trust (and will probably see while you are there). Would you seek them out and ask their advice and recommendation? Would you look at their reviews on Daddy's? Maybe even reach out to Daddy himself and ask?

 

It's just me but I would never contact a client to ask information to set up a session for another client. That just sounds wrong for so many reasons.

 

I always keep an ear open whenever clients discuss other escorts and pretty soon you get to know who is keeping their clients thrilled. I make a note of that and use that info whenever I need it.

 

Just remember, at the end of the day, even though being an escort is their job (and for many profession), these guys love sex. And even more they love good sex. They are good at it. So why the hell wouldn't they want to be included in sex with someone else they know who should be, by profession, good at sex just like they are?

 

I know a few really great escorts who even if they love good sex, as you put it, are just not comfortable working with other escorts. I see the logic in your argument but sadly it doesn't apply to all.

 

Some escorts love working with other good escorts (I am in that camp), some others prefer to have absolute control over the session and because of that prefer to work alone. It takes all kinds.

[TruthBTold]

[quote=I know a few really great escorts who even if they love good sex, as you put it, are just not comfortable working with other escorts. I see the logic in your argument but sadly it doesn't apply to all.

 

Some escorts love working with other good escorts (I am in that camp), some others prefer to have absolute control over the session and because of that prefer to work alone. It takes all kinds.

 

Hi Juan. In general do you know what makes these escorts uncomfortable about working with the other escorts a client may ask be included? What kind of control do they wish to exert such that they can't include a third person? I realize that it is not a problem for you but you generally have a good sense of how people behave in different situations. Thanks.

[Juan Vancouver]

In general do you know what makes these escorts uncomfortable about working with the other escorts a client may ask be included? What kind of control do they wish to exert such that they can't include a third person?

 

I suspect there must be a myriad reasons. For me to pretend to understand or know what other people feel about this would be absolute conjecture.

 

When I wrote control, what I was thinking was that I personally like to be able to manage the session with my client. I like to feel how the session is going and adjust it as it goes to make sure my client and I are getting the best experience possible. Since this adjustments rely exclusively on the information I am being able to read from my client's reactions, and the adjustments are never announced, but gently weaved into the session (I never say "I see your ass is a little sore, so I will give you a break and do this instead" I just start a break and focus on other things) when there are more people in the room reading and adjusting becomes more challenging. Sometimes other escorts will read the session differently and may suggest something that might go against my instincts. In that case it takes a lot of diplomacy, subtlety and flexibility to jointly steer the session, all the while remembering that we are there for the client, not for our own jollies.

 

Some escorts might recoil at the thought of relinquishing that kind of control and allowing others to determine the success of the session.

 

I imagine there may be many other reasons, from feelings of insecurity to an inability to share a customer for fear to have the customer stolen from you, but again, I am just guessing. It would be fun to see if any of my posting colleagues -who don't like to work with others- share their reasons.

[Alec Andrews]

I can't begin to concur more vehemently with Juan if I tried. I rarely, if ever, will work with another escort for one simple reason, I lose control of the room, thus being unable to guarantee a top quality experience. Yes, I'm a quality control freak. That's why I almost only ever do in calls.. I control the room, the temperature, the music, the timing, the lighting...etc.. Bottom line, for me, the recipe is screwed up.

 

I have a unique perspective in that Ryan and I started solely as a duo offering only 3-ways for the 1st year. It's obviously slightly different when working with a relative stranger instead of your bf, but I've done lots of 3ways. Ryan and I each naturally took on our perspective roles. Me the dominant stallion, him the sweet emotional boy next door. Funny thing is, I'm an even sweeter boy next door than he is... but I could never show it because that was his side of the experience. It's not my fault I'm a natural alpha.

 

Now working with another escort screws up my mojo. Like Juan said, I am constantly aware of where my client is and I adjust accordingly as best I can. When there is someone else in the mix, it gets muddled. I had one experience where the 3rd probably was straight (and or just not into me.... say it aint so)... he was stunning to look at... blew me out of the water looks wise I was so intimidated... but he literally would not do anything with either me OR the client. No kissing, no sucking.. no nothing. Just laid there on the bed looking pretty. Pretty Boring! IT was horrible. Now I know what clients must feel like. I've had a couple other experiences where I am just so pissed at the other escorts for how poorly they care about this profession or the client who is spending big bucks on them. They do as absolutely little as possible to get paid and it makes me... who's trying to be the best pro out there.. look bad. They give escorts a bad name. I have a number of escort friends who I hate talking with about the professional because the reveal how horrible at it they really are. I would never want to even work with my personal friends.

 

In two years doing this, I can think of only 3 experiences with other escorts that would get the "Alec seal of approval" as being professionals. AdonisBoie in LA is young, handsome, muscled, great in the sack and focuses only on the client (as he should) when we played. I was so beyond impressed. He's a younger hotter version of me. Obviously my experience with Oklihomo and Andrew Justice / Rafael Carreras was amazeballs (even though I had the flu), and the last is Sean Xavier (Andrews BF) who kindly invited me to play with him and a client when I was in Chicago. Man o Man.... that man is the real deal in every aspect. Andrews' lucky he found him first! Then there are the other 6 or so escorts that I have always regretted working with.

 

I literally had an OvN scheduled for tomorrow evening, 12/29, with a repeat client from a year ago who wanted a 3way OvN this time... and he wanted ME to find the guy. I highly stressed to him that it was a bad idea but he offered me a sum that was so hard to say no too.. so I said yes because I was greedy.. not following my gut. (ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR GUT BOYS) I knew it was during in the holiday week.. that disqualified half the guys in LA. The two I did find and who said yes, the client disqualified... then the other 6.... count them 6 other guys who fit the clients "wants" never responded! Never responded! I don't know how you clients do it.... I would be so grumpy dealing with all the flaky boys who never respond, aren't serious about wanting to work.. or whatever. No wonder LA has such a crappy reputation. When I told the client this yesterday that no one was panning out... he cancelled the OvN all together. All that work for nothing. Never again. If you want a 3way.. find the boys yourself!

 

Unless you know both escorts, I highly recommend not ever doing a three-way. Finding chemistry with one person is hard enough.. why screw it up by adding a 3rd person in the mix.

[+ Truereview]

I can't begin to concur more vehemently with Juan if I tried. I rarely, if ever, will work with another escort for one simple reason, I lose control of the room, thus being unable to guarantee a top quality experience. Yes, I'm a quality control freak. That's why I almost only ever do in calls.. I control the room, the temperature, the music, the timing, the lighting...etc.. Bottom line, for me, the recipe is screwed up.

 

I have a unique perspective in that Ryan and I started solely as a duo offering only 3-ways for the 1st year. It's obviously slightly different when working with a relative stranger instead of your bf, but I've done lots of 3ways. Ryan and I each naturally took on our perspective roles. Me the dominant stallion, him the sweet emotional boy next door. Funny thing is, I'm an even sweeter boy next door than he is... but I could never show it because that was his side of the experience. It's not my fault I'm a natural alpha.

 

Now working with another escort screws up my mojo. Like Juan said, I am constantly aware of where my client is and I adjust accordingly as best I can. When there is someone else in the mix, it gets muddled. I had one experience where the 3rd probably was straight (and or just not into me.... say it aint so)... he was stunning to look at... blew me out of the water looks wise I was so intimidated... but he literally would not do anything with either me OR the client. No kissing, no sucking.. no nothing. Just laid there on the bed looking pretty. Pretty Boring! IT was horrible. Now I know what clients must feel like. I've had a couple other experiences where I am just so pissed at the other escorts for how poorly they care about this profession or the client who is spending big bucks on them. They do as absolutely little as possible to get paid and it makes me... who's trying to be the best pro out there.. look bad. They give escorts a bad name. I have a number of escort friends who I hate talking with about the professional because the reveal how horrible at it they really are. I would never want to even work with my personal friends.

 

In two years doing this, I can think of only 3 experiences with other escorts that would get the "Alec seal of approval" as being professionals. AdonisBoie in LA is young, handsome, muscled, great in the sack and focuses only on the client (as he should) when we played. I was so beyond impressed. He's a younger hotter version of me. Obviously my experience with Oklihomo and Andrew Justice / Rafael Carreras was amazeballs (even though I had the flu), and the last is Sean Xavier (Andrews BF) who kindly invited me to play with him and a client when I was in Chicago. Man o Man.... that man is the real deal in every aspect. Andrews' lucky he found him first! Then there are the other 6 or so escorts that I have always regretted working with.

 

I literally had an OvN scheduled for tomorrow evening, 12/29, with a repeat client from a year ago who wanted a 3way OvN this time... and he wanted ME to find the guy. I highly stressed to him that it was a bad idea but he offered me a sum that was so hard to say no too.. so I said yes because I was greedy.. not following my gut. (ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR GUT BOYS) I knew it was during in the holiday week.. that disqualified half the guys in LA. The two I did find and who said yes, the client disqualified... then the other 6.... count them 6 other guys who fit the clients "wants" never responded! Never responded! I don't know how you clients do it.... I would be so grumpy dealing with all the flaky boys who never respond, aren't serious about wanting to work.. or whatever. No wonder LA has such a crappy reputation. When I told the client this yesterday that no one was panning out... he cancelled the OvN all together. All that work for nothing. Never again. If you want a 3way.. find the boys yourself!

 

Unless you know both escorts, I highly recommend not ever doing a three-way. Finding chemistry with one person is hard enough.. why screw it up by adding a 3rd person in the mix.

Great post! Informative, funny, sweet, and no veiled judgment. Please post more often!

[bigvalboy]

For me it is a lot like chewing gum : New and exciting at first but gets stale and bland really quickly. Reminds a lot of that maxwellissmart guy that posted anonymously for a long while and then disappeared into the sunset without a trace. Heck, maybe it is Maxwellissmart all over again.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw4w8n4qzr1r2g7mto1_500.gif

[Juan Vancouver]

Alec, I feel you.

 

I also have a long list of "never again"s. Dumb kids on drugs, totally full of themselves, uninterested in the client and wanting to get a hot fuck out of the situation, chatty Kathys, unable to perform, dirty, sadly the list goes on forever.

 

I will gladly bring another escort if I know of someone who is excellent, and I will accept joining with other escorts if I know the client well and have a good rapport, but I always wish I could find top caliber men to recommend in every locale.

 

Yes, Andrew is one of those men who just seamlessly joins to provide a top quality experience, focusing both on the client and the flow. A pleasure to work with.

 

And it's funny what you say about the roles with an established duo partner. Thor and I also have our complementary strengths and roles we take and knowing and trusting one another it's really fun and easy to read the energy and together take it to a different level. After being spoiled and having this kind of partner for a long time, it is almost painful to work with someone else. But exceptions are available and unforgettable.