Interesting: "A Straight Man's Guide To Being A Gay Man's Rentboy In 2016"

[RyanDean]

http://ratter.com/ratter/all/ratter/213990-straight-man-guide-to-being-a-gay-rentboy

 

An interesting think-piece on a topic we think/talk about a lot on this forum. Curious if any of y'all have anything to add...

[seaboy4hire]

About the porn part. There's been someone I've been involved with off and on for the last couple yrs. While we were off he came across the one porn I did. He contacted me shortly after cause he needed some support. While texting he brought it up along with being a hooker. Initially I pleaded the fifth, not confirming nor denying. But he kept pressing (damn persistent stubborn Hungarians!) and I finally said yes I've done and do both. I was shocked that he found the porn because it isn't from a major company. He admitted he was disappointed that I've done porn and am a hooker but understood my reason for doing both. Moral I guess is yes someone is bound to find out of you've done porn and or are a hooker. Like the article says own it! And I do. If someone finds out I'm not going to be ashamed. I'm going to be proud of the work I do and hope those that hire me are happy after our time together.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ saminseattle]

I found the intro rather disturbing. I would like to think that people who provide this service are not doing so out of desperation and a sense of severe economic duress. And I would like to think that people seeking this service are not trying to exploit other people at a vulnerable point in their lives. Unfortunately, there is probably a lot of desperation and exploitation going on, no matter what I prefer to think. Since BaronArtz doesn’t seem to be around these days, it’s good to have articles like this as a reminder that it’s not all fun and games out there.

 

Of course, this writer’s perspective is based on his own experience, and I see plenty of evidence that others have a completely different experience that is far more positive and involves more mutual respect by all sides.

[Juan Vancouver]

I am with Sam.

 

I was appalled by the whole thing. The degree of contempt and disgust with which this guy sees his targets (I refuse to use client) is astounding. But again, I have always found it incredibly abusive to want to hire someone who identifies as straight to do things I know in advance he doesn't want to do. Hiring a straight guy to do gay things, is in itself another form of abuse, so it figures you would receive abuse in return.

 

I am curious if any of you who normally hire straight guys or who think sex with a straight escort is hotter have read this article, and it you have, has it affected the way in which you see this kind of transaction?

 

And of course, this not only applies to gay for pay. There are tons of gay and bisexual men out there who hate being escorts and resent having to do things they hate with people they dislike.

 

is there anyone reading this thread who actually gets off on this? (This is an actual question. I know for many humiliation is a huge turn on, over powering another human being, abuse... I would be very interested to hear your point of view)

[mattr]

I am with Sam.

 

I was appalled by the whole thing. The degree of contempt and disgust with which this guy sees his targets (I refuse to use client) is astounding. But again, I have always found it incredibly abusive to want to hire someone who identifies as straight to do things I know in advance he doesn't want to do. Hiring a straight guy to do gay things, is in itself another form of abuse, so it figures you would receive abuse in return.

 

I am curious if any of you who normally hire straight guys or who think sex with a straight escort is hotter have read this article, and it you have, has it affected the way in which you see this kind of transaction?

 

And of course, this not only applies to gay for pay. There are tons of gay and bisexual men out there who hate being escorts and resent having to do things they hate with people they dislike.

 

is there anyone reading this thread who actually gets off on this? (This is an actual question. I know for many humiliation is a huge turn on, over powering another human being, abuse... I would be very interested to hear your point of view)

 

For me the issue isn't straight/gay/bi but does the escort really want to be there or is he just there for the money. As with any profession, a percentage of people are there only for the money and are not enthusiastic about the work. That usually shows in performance and can mean the difference between a good and a great experience for the client. As a client though, I hire men that I know I could not be intimate with under any other circumstance and so far I have not really met an escort that could get that thought completely out of my head while we are together. Part of the problems are my own issues with sexual intimacy but I would love to get past that and have a passionate experience where, at least in the moment, I feel attractive, sexy, and desired. I still believe that there are guys are out there that will take me on that journey (Juan being one I suspect) and I'll keep plugging along until I can meet him.

[corndog]

I think that it is interestingly ironic that the author seems to objectify the clients when it is widely assumed that it is the rentboys that are being objectified. His attitude is disturbing and I hope that it represents only the small minority of lousy escorts.

[MikeyGMin]

To me hiring a straight guy is just one step above picking up a street kid who is literally in survival mode. I hire men who are out of my league and I'm not kidding myself it's not about the money. However, I want it to be a grown ass man who has decided the benefits (money) outweigh the disadvantages (guys he would be very unlikely to hook up with.) I don't ever want to take advantage of someone elses's desperation -- gay or Straight.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

To me hiring a straight guy is just one step above picking up a street kid who is literally in survival mode. I hire men who are out of my league and I'm not kidding myself it's not about the money. However, I want it to be a grown ass man who has decided the benefits (money) outweigh the disadvantages (guys he would be very unlikely to hook up with.) I don't ever want to take advantage of someone elses's desperation -- gay or Straight.

I agree with the sentiment. Gay please! A man not a boy. My sweet spot is 30, and my all-time favorite is well last 40.

 

Of course, an exception: I have a straight buddy who clearly enjoys our sessions. Basks in the attention, charming, great sense of humor, and very creative in finding new ways to make it fun for us both. It's a niche pleasure for me, but... And I'm certain he's neither desperate nor homophobic.

[+ SundayZip]

Which of these guys would you hire?

 

Gary identifies as straight. Sexual contact with another man is distasteful and he only does it because he needs the money.

 

Arnie identifies as straight. Although he feels sexual and emotional chemistry with women, he's comfortable with gay men and having sex with them. He usually likes the interaction with men and enjoys their attention, but he'll never find himself emotionally involved with a man.

 

Mark identifies as gay. His only real sexual and emotional chemistry with younger guys like himself. He finds sexual contact with most older men distasteful and only does it because he needs the money.

 

Kent identifies as gay. His sexual and emotional chemistry is with a wide variety of guys. He's even enjoyed some sexual interactions with women. Although he's comfortable having sex with people that are not typically his type, it's not likely that he'll ever become emotionally involved with them.

 

I'd hire straight Arnie and gay Kent and would hope to avoid straight Gary and gay Mark.

[corndog]

Which of these guys would you hire?

 

Kent (aka Juan) would certainly be my first choice.

 

Arnie might be fun, as long as I convince myself that "straight" is just a simplistic label in a spectrum of sexuality that isn't that simple. My enjoyment would, unfortunately, be dependent on my ability to convince myself that he was having a good time.

 

Mark is the most likely to be a disaster. His performance is bound to be determined by the chemistry he has with clients, which 90% of the time is likely to be zero.

 

Hiring Gary would make me feel like I was taking advantage of someone who was down on their luck, but at least I'd feel like his attraction to me was the same as all his other clients: none at all.

[+ Truereview]

Kent (aka Juan) would certainly be my first choice.

 

Arnie might be fun, as long as I convince myself that "straight" is just a simplistic label in a spectrum of sexuality that isn't that simple. My enjoyment would, unfortunately, be dependent on my ability to convince myself that he was having a good time.

 

Mark is the most likely to be a disaster. His performance is bound to be determined by the chemistry he has with clients, which 90% of the time is likely to be zero.

 

Hiring Gary would make me feel like I was taking advantage of someone who was down on their luck, but at least I'd feel like his attraction to me was the same as all his other clients: none at all.

+ 1 on Kent as long as he doesn't speak or pontificate.

[Irtwo]

Sundayzip, interesting set up, and I get your point. But it's not so easy if you add some additional factors:

 

Suppose Arnie and Kent are just "okay" looking, whereas Gary and Mark are super sexy hot looking. Suppose further that Gary and Mark are great at faking intimacy and pretending to being attracted to you.

[Juan Vancouver]

Okay, I'll play.

 

Suppose Gary is amazing at faking it. He is fucking gorgeous. But once when you were about to knock on the door you heard him on the phone talking with someone and he was saying: "Yeah, anyway, I have to go. This fucking gross asshole is about to get here... fucking fag. Shit, I can't wait till I don't need to do this shit anymore.. it's fucking killing me!"

 

Irtwo, what would you do in that case?

[mattr]

Sundayzip, interesting set up, and I get your point. But it's not so easy if you add some additional factors:

 

Suppose Arnie and Kent are just "okay" looking, whereas Gary and Mark are super sexy hot looking. Suppose further that Gary and Mark are great at faking intimacy and pretending to being attracted to you.

 

Physical attractiveness can be dulled pretty quickly if the attractive person is repulsed by your presence.

[sincitymix]

Okay, I'll play.

 

Suppose Gary is amazing at faking it. He is fucking gorgeous. But once when you were about to knock on the door you heard him on the phone talking with someone and he was saying: "Yeah, anyway, I have to go. This fucking gross asshole is about to get here... fucking fag. Shit, I can't wait till I don't need to do this shit anymore.. it's fucking killing me!"

 

Irtwo, what would you do in that case?

take a perverse pleasure in knowing he is forcing himself to do something that makes his skin crawl, and with a triumphant smile make him rage disgust fuck you harder? I kid I kid I would turn around and walk away.

[+ quoththeraven]

Sundayzip, interesting set up, and I get your point. But it's not so easy if you add some additional factors:

 

Suppose Arnie and Kent are just "okay" looking, whereas Gary and Mark are super sexy hot looking. Suppose further that Gary and Mark are great at faking intimacy and pretending to being attracted to you.

 

I'm not convinced that it's as easy as you think to fake intimacy or pretend to be attracted to someone well enough to make them feel great afterwards. But from a prior thread I started about fantasy vs. reality, I am clearly an outlier on that topic.

 

I am possibly even more of an outlier with regards to physical attractiveness, as neither a modelworthy face or uberripped bod are prerequisites. I'm not saying they're not appealing, just that they're not required. But I also don't have a single type I'm attracted to, and only that type. Also, some of my most satisfying non-escort experiences have been with men whose register on the sexy-looking meter was pretty close to zilch.

[+ Truereview]

I'm not convinced that it's as easy as you think to fake intimacy or pretend to be attracted to someone well enough to make them feel great afterwards.

QTR, you just made me think of something...do you think women can pretend intimacy and physical attraction better than men can? Is it easier to deceive a man into thinking he is having the time of his life than it is for a woman?

[+ quoththeraven]

QTR, you just made me think of something...do you think women can pretend intimacy and physical attraction better than men can? Is it easier to deceive a man into thinking he is having the time of his life than it is for a woman?

 

I have no idea, as I haven't pretended anything other than (sometimes) to have come when I haven't. But my guess -- taking into account that I'm pretty far in the "no BS" camp -- is no. Women may be socialized to be kinder and look for attractive qualities men may not.

 

Then again, the women for whom status is everything who might feel a qneed to fake intimacy and physical attraction - a much smaller group, in my experience, than is popularly believed - aren't people I pretend to understand, much less know. The other group of women who fall into this category, commonly known as hos (and why is that? why not escort?), from what I've read mostly look at it as a job that is more flexible and pays better than, say, retail. But faking it is not something women want to do or would emulate in their personal lives.

 

Also, and maybe this is too pointed a point for me to be making when I'm not part of the group, gay culture seems to have an unhealthy fixation on physical ideals.

[killianjamesnyc]

http://www.phillymag.com/foobooz/2013/05/13/staphmeals-joshua-scott-albert-is-out-of-jail/

 

So why are we taking this to heart or seriously on any level?

[+ Truereview]

I have no idea, as I haven't pretended anything other than (sometimes) to have come when I haven't. But my guess -- taking into account that I'm pretty far in the "no BS" camp -- is no. Women may be socialized to be kinder and look for attractive qualities men may not.

 

Then again, the women for whom status is everything who might feel a qneed to fake intimacy and physical attraction - a much smaller group, in my experience, than is popularly believed - aren't people I pretend to understand, much less know. The other group of women who fall into this category, commonly known as hos (and why is that? why not escort?), from what I've read mostly look at it as a job that is more flexible and pays better than, say, retail. But faking it is not something women want to do or would emulate in their personal lives.

 

Also, and maybe this is too pointed a point for me to be making when I'm not part of the group, gay culture seems to have an unhealthy fixation on physical ideals.

Enlightening! Thank you.

[MikeyGMin]

Also, and maybe this is too pointed a point for me to be making when I'm not part of the group, gay culture seems to have an unhealthy fixation on physical ideals

 

That is so polite and understated.

 

With rare exceptions, men are superficial creatures by nature. So when it is man-on-man you get superficial times two.

 

This might not make me any friends, but I actually understand why very fit guys judge the unfit. They don't have license to mock or be cruel, and it's not really a trait an escort can afford, but I understand it. They do the work to maintain their fitness. Put in the time and effort. So they have perspective to make judgements in that ONE area.

 

Of course that one area doesn't sum up a man. I'm just talking about the superficial.

[+ FreshFluff]

I like SundayZip's post, but I can see why a hot straight guy who isn't really attracted to men could be very popular.

 

I'm not convinced that it's as easy as you think to fake intimacy or pretend to be attracted to someone well enough to make them feel great afterwards. But from a prior thread I started about fantasy vs. reality, I am clearly an outlier on that topic.

 

I am possibly even more of an outlier with regards to physical attractiveness, as neither a modelworthy face or uberripped bod are prerequisites. I'm not saying they're not appealing, just that they're not required. But I also don't have a single type I'm attracted to, and only that type. Also, some of my most satisfying non-escort experiences have been with men whose register on the sexy-looking meter was pretty close to zilch.

 

That makes two of us, and I'll bet it's true for Tyro too. You know my view on this: I doubt you're an outlier. You're on a different curve altogether.

 

Having said that, I can get past a lot of physical issues, but masculine looks are very important.

 

QTR, you just made me think of something...do you think women can pretend intimacy and physical attraction better than men can? Is it easier to deceive a man into thinking he is having the time of his life than it is for a woman?

 

Some women can. The advantage women have is that the equivalent of the woody can't be seen by a casual observer.

 

The difference, as I've said before, is that women can be attracted by a number of factors. I'd say that physical attractiveness is probably the least important one, although some minimum level may be required.

[+ FreshFluff]

Also, and maybe this is too pointed a point for me to be making when I'm not part of the group, gay culture seems to have an unhealthy fixation on physical ideals.

 

Oh no, I just got baited.

 

Gay men don't have much choice if they want to be attracted to their partners. None of us really do.

[+ SundayZip]

For me, an escorts physical attributes are a huge factor in his attractiveness. No matter how great his personality, I'm not going to hire him unless I'm turned on by something about his face and body. On the flip side, an escort can have the most physically attractive face and body ever, but if I get even a hint that he might find me distasteful or unpleasant, no way will I hire him -- ever. I agree with QTR and FF; most men are not good enough actors to hide what they're really feeling.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

QTR, you just made me think of something...do you think women can pretend intimacy and physical attraction better than men can? Is it easier to deceive a man into thinking he is having the time of his life than it is for a woman?

 

Some women can. The advantage women have is that the equivalent of the woody can't be seen by a casual observer.

 

Here's a straight-but-not-narrow comedic perspective. About one minute in, I blew coffee out my nose: