Question about sensual massage

[Reluctant Daddy]

I've booked with a local masseur for a deep tissue session, but he's let me know that he wants to add on some time for a sensual massage session if I'm game. I know what goes through my head when I hear sensual massage. Realistically, what should I expect? I don't want to come off totally naive, and I also don't want any embarrassing situations or clutching of pearls on either end. Appreciate any input. Thanks.

[+ MasssageGuy]

Depends upon how far the therapist wants to go. Generally, the first session involves turning over and a hand job. Repeat visits may get you some oral relief. All depends on limits you and therapist work out.

[Reluctant Daddy]

Thanks MassageGuy. Initially, is any reciprocation ok or forbidden?

[+ MasssageGuy]

It varies widely depending upon the therapist. You will get clear indications from body movement of your therapist where they are comfortable and were they are not.

 

The key is to be sensitive to each other and respect each others limits.

 

"Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy."

 

Mahatma Gandhi

[MikeyGMin]

Thanks MassageGuy. Initially, is any reciprocation ok or forbidden?

 

It really does vary quite a bit. What you're asking about is generally called "mutual touch." Since he is the one that suggested adding a sensual massage, you should be safe asking if that includes mutual touch without offending him.

 

Or, as posted, read the signals. If you haven't done this before you may be thinking you won't know the signals, but remember that he has done this many many times. If he doesn't want to be touched, he will keep the goods out of reach. If he appears to be receptive, and you still don't want to just ask, try a light touch somewhere other than his junk. If he is not into it he will politely move away. If he doesn't move away, take the next step. It's helpful if you think about it as a fun little game rather than a stressful unknown.

[+ beethoven]

Since you know this masseur, and we don't, I think you can probably figure out what he means. But you're right to ask. I'd think "sensual" would involve some massaging/fondling/touching of sensitive areas between your legs, and certainly a "hand job," or "happy ending." You ought to consider using your own hands to explore/caress his body -- I'm sure he will make sure that a certain appendage is within easy reach of your hand -- or perhaps your mouth. IF you're unsure of how far to go, just ask him if whatever you want to do is OK.

Since he brought up sensual massage, he obviously has some things in mind that will please both of you. I've really reiterated what previous posters have said, but I'm more verbose. Absolutely: "think about it as a fun little game rather than a stressful unknown."

[+ Italiano]

I would also be sure that his "add on" does not (or quantify it if it does!) add also more $$

[+ beethoven]

NY Clocker: I'd love to know how this encounter went, and I hope you were happy with it! Please let us know, or PM me with details.

[Rudynate]

In my experience, a "sensual"massage includes a hand job sometimes, but don't count on it. Before the RB bust, a guaranteed handjob came with an "erotic" massage. Now "erotic" massages are identified by the euphemism "custom" massages. It surprises me how often a "therapeutic" massage can become an "erotic" or "custom" massage.

[+ not2rowdy]

I've booked with a local masseur for a deep tissue session, but he's let me know that he wants to add on some time for a sensual massage session if I'm game. I know what goes through my head when I hear sensual massage. Realistically, what should I expect?...

 

With masseurs I wouldn’t assume that “sensual” would have ANY sexual aspects

 

Using the Masseurfinder categories I would kind of break it down this way:

 

Therapeutic: Deep tissue and sports/sports injury massage. Massage most likely to take place on an actual massage table. A good chance the provider has actual professional training and is licensed. Chances of the session moving towards sexual aspects are fairly slim. True therapeutic requires professional training. Damage to muscles and joints is quite possible if the “therapist” doesn’t know what they’re doing. The massage may actually be somewhat uncomfortable from the pressures and deep muscle kneading that takes place. Very common for a "therapeutic" massage to also have "sensual" aspects towards the end to provide muscle relaxation.

 

Sensual: A more moderate to lighter touch with oils and lotions to reduce friction. Best example is the stereotypical Swedish massage technique. The focus of the massage is relaxation. Provider may be trained and licensed. If the term “bodyrub” is used it is likely the provider is not professionally trained. That’s because some states don’t allow an advertiser to use the term masseur (or masseuse) unless they are licensed. But “bodyrubbers" still may be quite competent. There is no certainty there will be any sexual aspects. Sexual aspects increase with repeat visits.

 

Custom (formerly Erotic). Most likely similar to a “bodyrub” style. High likelihood the provider is self taught. Fairly high probability of at least some sexual aspects.

 

Check you location for massage therapy schools. They may have a clinic where you can go where student training takes place - and you are the subject. Probably very inexpensive. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. There will be absolutely nothing erotic take place. You will likely be covered by a sheet and be face down during most of the massage. No private areas will ever be exposed. It is a good opportunity to experience the difference between “therapeutic” and “sensual” massage.

[+ Truereview]

With masseurs I wouldn’t assume that “sensual” would have ANY sexual aspects

 

Using the Masseurfinder categories I would kind of break it down this way:

 

Therapeutic: Deep tissue and sports/sports injury massage. Massage most likely to take place on an actual massage table. A good chance the provider has actual professional training and is licensed. Chances of the session moving towards sexual aspects are fairly slim. True therapeutic requires professional training. Damage to muscles and joints is quite possible if the “therapist” doesn’t know what they’re doing. The massage may actually be somewhat uncomfortable from the pressures and deep muscle kneading that takes place. Very common for a "therapeutic" massage to also have "sensual" aspects towards the end to provide muscle relaxation.

 

Sensual: A more moderate to lighter touch with oils and lotions to reduce friction. Best example is the stereotypical Swedish massage technique. The focus of the massage is relaxation. Provider may be trained and licensed. If the term “bodyrub” is used it is likely the provider is not professionally trained. That’s because some states don’t allow an advertiser to use the term masseur (or masseuse) unless they are licensed. But “bodyrubbers" still may be quite competent. There is no certainty there will be any sexual aspects. Sexual aspects increase with repeat visits.

 

Custom (formerly Erotic). Most likely similar to a “bodyrub” style. High likelihood the provider is self taught. Fairly high probability of at least some sexual aspects.

 

Check you location for massage therapy schools. They may have a clinic where you can go where student training takes place - and you are the subject. Probably very inexpensive. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. There will be absolutely nothing erotic take place. You will likely be covered by a sheet and be face down during most of the massage. No private areas will ever be exposed. It is a good opportunity to experience the difference between “therapeutic” and “sensual” massage.

or you can break it down like corndog did in his post this past August...great minds....

 

These terms tend to mean different things to different people, so when a masseur advertises with these words, they're giving you a suggestion but not really a promise of what they're offering. With that disclaimer in mind, I'll offer my opinions about what the usually mean:

 

Sensual

In a sensual massage, the client is usually undraped and the masseur may or may not be clothed. To some masseurs, a sensual massage is soft and gentle, but not sexual, but to other masseurs, sensual is almost, but not quite, having sex.

 

Erotic

An an erotic massage almost always takes place with both people nude, and often involves a lot of mutual touch, and maybe even sex. If an erotic massage doesn't include a "happy ending," you can consider yourself misled and ripped off. Sometimes, an erotic massage isn't really a massage at all, but just coded language for an escort, which can be disappointing if you really want a massage.

 

Custom

"Custom" is a relatively new invention which I credit to massagem4m.com. A few months back, in order to avoid the kind of problems that rentboy has recently had, massagem4m removed the word "erotic" from their site, replacing it with "custom" in almost all cases. A silly ploy that is unlikely to fool anyone.

 

Interactive

This is usually meant to mean that mutual touch is allowed, and implies that you'll be able to touch and fondle the masseur as he is massaging you.

 

Full Body

This very gently implies that the massage will include your genital region. However, it gives the masseur a lot of leeway to wiggle out of that promise.

 

All of this coded language is used in two different ways. By reputable, respectable masseurs it is used to discreetly describe their services without risking their certification, or violating the rules that some sites have against explicit language. Unfortunately, it is also used by disreputable masseurs who want to lure you in with the expectation of an intimate experience, but then when they deliver a cold, boring, spa-style therapeutic massage you really have no room to complain because that's all they've ever promised. I know of at least one masseur who advertises an erotic massage (and even "tantra") that, in fact, never even removes his shirt.

 

I think that there are also quite a few would-be escorts who advertise as masseurs because they feel that they're only able to perform sexually with someone they're attracted to. With those masseurs, if you "click," you'll get a escort-style experience, but if they're not in the mood, you'll get a mediocre massage -- and, once again, you can't really complain because that's all they've ever promised.

 

So, you might ask, how you can know what you're signing up for? Bottom line, you can't. But you can ask some questions that'll give you more hints. If the masseur's ad doesn't mention whether they are nude, ask them. You can also ask them if they enjoy mutual touch. Beyond that, I wouldn't recommend asking them anything specifically sexual, as they are unlikely to give you a straight answer, and may be offended. You can also consider their advertised rate; if they're advertising massage for $200/hour or more, they are either offering escort services, or they're trying to rip you off.

 

My personal strategy is to seek a massage in the hopes that I get a real, quality, serious massage, and then consider it icing on the cake if it happens to get a little steamier than that. In light of the current rentboy kerfuffle, I take some comfort in knowing that by hiring for massage, but being open to sex if it happens, I'm staying on the right side of our silly laws.

[+ MasssageGuy]

I've booked with a local masseur for a deep tissue session, but he's let me know that he wants to add on some time for a sensual massage session if I'm game. I know what goes through my head when I hear sensual massage. Realistically, what should I expect? I don't want to come off totally naive, and I also don't want any embarrassing situations or clutching of pearls on either end. Appreciate any input. Thanks.

NY Clocker, Inquiring minds want to know the outcome....

 

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/58125215.jpg

[Terpmaniac]

First of all to the original poster I think your masseur likes you and wants to play. Most masseurs that I know know way before hand how the massage is gonna

play out as soon as you walk through the door. As far as those labels go I ignore them unless he says "therapeutic" ONLY, that I get. If his ad says sensual and nude then it could lead to pretty much anything(and I do mean anything).