Fear and Trepidation

[gallahadesquire]

I've been on the redoubtable site, Match.com, for a long time. I've had a couple of nibbles, but mostly nothing.

 

So I wrote a guy, 12 years my junior, who looks a little like the Truvago ad guy.

 

I said:

 

I like your profile. You have great assests, including being particularly good looking.

You say you're law / military / etc. What do you do?

I get back a note:

 

Thanks for the reply. I'd like to get to know you more.

[NB I posted my real age and my proper height and weight]

I'm a medical doctor for the US Army. [i'm a retired physician myself]

Now, JUST THIS MORNING, I was thinking how I really need a military man to be my life partner.

Why? Intelligent [at least, at this dude's level]. Obedient [he'll tell me what to do].

Not "straight acting" but "straight playing": Someone who knows how to behave himself.

 

And I'm scared that this might be someone worth having.

 

What to do? He says he's divorced, and of his kid, "s/he sometimes live with me", which makes me wonder how the kid would accept another Uncle in their lives.

 

I'm scareD

[rvwnsd]

First of all, good for you! It is always nice to hear that someone is interested in more than just a quick fling. Secondly, I think nervousness and fear are two natural responses to something like this. Emotions show that you are human. Thirdly, if he is not worried about his daughter's reaction to another "uncle," then don't worry about it. Save your worry for how the first date goes! (I'm kidding, of course.)

 

Keep us posted!!

[bigvalboy]

I've been on the redoubtable site, Match.com, for a long time. I've had a couple of nibbles, but mostly nothing.

 

So I wrote a guy, 12 years my junior, who looks a little like the Truvago ad guy.

 

I said:

 

I like your profile. You have great assests, including being particularly good looking.

You say you're law / military / etc. What do you do?

I get back a note:

 

Thanks for the reply. I'd like to get to know you more.

[NB I posted my real age and my proper height and weight]

I'm a medical doctor for the US Army. [i'm a retired physician myself]

Now, JUST THIS MORNING, I was thinking how I really need a military man to be my life partner.

Why? Intelligent [at least, at this dude's level]. Obedient [he'll tell me what to do].

Not "straight acting" but "straight playing": Someone who knows how to behave himself.

 

And I'm scared that this might be someone worth having.

 

What to do? He says he's divorced, and of his kid, "s/he sometimes live with me", which makes me wonder how the kid would accept another Uncle in their lives.

 

I'm scared.

 

http://pictures.match.com/photos/039/155/304e1339-b36c-e511-80cd-d89d671663a9.jpeg

 

I think it's wonderful, but worrying whether his kid will accept you might be getting ahead of yourself just a little, no? Just start with coffee. Coffee is nothing more than an interview. Go with the attitude that you're just going to meet a friend, and take it slow, and if things don't meet your expectations, then you can keep the meet-n-greet short, if however you guys click, then suggest a meal. You'll be fine....and remember, he's probably scared too.

[gallahadesquire]

I think it's wonderful, but worrying whether his kid will accept you might be getting ahead of yourself just a little, no? Just start with coffee. Coffee is nothing more than an interview. Go with the attitude that you're just going to meet a friend, and take it slow, and if things don't meet your expectations, then you can keep the meet-n-greet short, if however you guys click, then suggest a meal. You'll be fine....and remember, he's probably scared too.

 

Thanks BVB and rvwnsd. I looked at his ad, and thought "Omigod, he is so not available" and then read his profile and said "Omigod, he's modest and genuine." I sometimes forget that other people out on the look are human, too.

 

 

As an aside: Anyone ever have an experience with a military doctor?

[marylander1940]

I've been on the redoubtable site, Match.com, for a long time. I've had a couple of nibbles, but mostly nothing.

 

So I wrote a guy, 12 years my junior, who looks a little like the Truvago ad guy.

 

I said:

 

I like your profile. You have great assests, including being particularly good looking.

You say you're law / military / etc. What do you do?

I get back a note:

 

Thanks for the reply. I'd like to get to know you more.

[NB I posted my real age and my proper height and weight]

I'm a medical doctor for the US Army. [i'm a retired physician myself]

Now, JUST THIS MORNING, I was thinking how I really need a military man to be my life partner.

Why? Intelligent [at least, at this dude's level]. Obedient [he'll tell me what to do].

Not "straight acting" but "straight playing": Someone who knows how to behave himself.

 

And I'm scared that this might be someone worth having.

 

What to do? He says he's divorced, and of his kid, "s/he sometimes live with me", which makes me wonder how the kid would accept another Uncle in their lives.

 

I'm scared.

 

http://pictures.match.com/photos/039/155/304e1339-b36c-e511-80cd-d89d671663a9.jpeg

 

First, you have to meet him, so far yinz have exchanged 2 messages.

 

If everything works, and you guys connect/fall in love, you'll have plenty of time to wonder how to be introduced to his kids, who by that time might be 3 to 4 months older.

 

A military man in your life, I'm sure they have plenty of attributes but what if he's a birther or a right-wing-nut who is still in the closet.

of non-military straight shooters out there who'd love to give you orders.

 

One more thing, if he's a Donald Trump fanatic, you should introduce him to Bozo, you'll find him in the "politics" area of the trolling around for his leader.

[Rudynate]

Thanks BVB and rvwnsd. I looked at his ad, and thought "Omigod, he is so not available" and then read his profile and said "Omigod, he's modest and genuine." I sometimes forget that other people out on the look are human, too.

 

 

As an aside: Anyone ever have an experience with a military doctor?

 

 

I was a corpsman and worked alongside many military doctors. But that was way back when they drafted doctors, so they all hated the military. Doctors from that era were different from today's doctors.

[marylander1940]

One more thing:

 

Good luck!

[Rudynate]

 

http://pictures.match.com/photos/039/155/304e1339-b36c-e511-80cd-d89d671663a9.jpeg

 

He's much better-looking than the Trivago guy.

[Juan Vancouver]

Relax and don't overthink it.

 

Being nervous is an obvious response. Putting all your eggs in that basket before even meeting him is not.

 

One step at a time.

 

And also... do you think he would enjoy knowing you posted his picture in a forum where men come to discuss hiring other men? Might not be the first way to start a relationship.