How long do you last in bed (and how can I last longer?)

[Wolfer]

When fucking I last about 15 seconds, literally. 6 to 8 pumps and I'm already tipping almost over the edge of no return. Since I'm a top...

 

It's never been an issue before, since I was never very active sexually and I used to be able to last a bit longer (at least two minutes) and I had been with the same partner for nearly a decade and he never minded it.

 

But I've recently become single and I've noticed with a guy I've been with I came really quickly, once we started fucking.

 

Observations: when doing oral I seem to be able to last almost indefinitely. But any other type of stimulation (handjob, fucking) gets me to orgasmic phase in a heartbeat.

Techniques like start-stop don't work: well, it does but it goes like this then: pump twice, have to wait (with absolutely no stimulation at all) for at least thirty seconds and then I can pump twice again. Repeat.

I can somewhat control my orgasm by pinching my thigh muscles, but I have to hold it for, again, at least 30 seconds to a minute to delay orgasm and even then I'm still riding on the edge and another pump can easily induce orgasm.

I haven't tried jerking off before a hook-up because I don't want to risk having no sexual appetite at all.

 

I've tried the Durex performa condoms, which actually helped very well in the past. But they weren't helping now so I took out the Benzocaine cream (that's in the tip of the condoms) and applied it directly to the most sensitive area's of my dick and it did nothing. It's a 7% cream, though. I've now ordered Orajel 10%. I've read on other forums where some guys experimented with that gel and could last almost indefinitely with it (they could normally last only about as long as I do). Ideally, I'd like to get a solution that doesn't involve creams, of course.

 

I'm happy to see, though, that I'm not too worried about it at the moment. Because I tend to worry way too much and I've read that guys really get anxiety about sex when they have premature ejaculation. I'd like to nib that stress and those potential anxiety issues in the bud. Because obviously anxiety might make things even worse.

 

I've also discovered that the urology department of a hospital near me has a specialized treatment plan for premature ejaculation and they boast a 70% success rate. It's a combination of therapy and medication. They've found that premature ejaculation can partly be because of a chemical/hormonal imbalance in your brain.

Since I have an appointment this Monday (for a regular check-up) I'm gonna bring up the subject.

 

How long does full-on anal intercourse usually last? I know there's guys that claim to be able to go for an hour or more and some guys say they can't even cum at all if they're wearing a condom (I'd like to be like that! Then I could let my bottom enjoy himself, while I'm wearing a condom and then finish myself off outside of him)

[big-n-tall]

It depends on the ass.

 

Over time I've noticed a few things in regard to my stamina, with the shortest time I can recall being a few minutes and the longest, almost a hour. Now if we're talking overall amount of time sexing it up.... well that would be about 4 hours (which I will get to in a sec)

 

For me personally, if I hold off from sex a few days I can build up a humongous load, but doing this seems to make me orgasm quicker. I refrain from stimulation for some because they like it when I white wash myself. Lol! If I'm really turned on by my partner and what he is doing, I don't last as long. If my partner is tight, the tighter they are, the faster I'll cum.

 

Adversely, if I use a lot of lube I can last longer. The draw back to that is too much lube can make it hard to stimulate my penis enough to bring me to orgasm. If I vary the pace.... longer play time as well. If I play in multiple positions, longevity can ensue also.

 

Orally only a few have been able to make me orgasm with their mouth alone.

 

With all that said, I have the wonderful ability, that after orgasm, I can stay hard or get hard again pretty rapidly. Although I can't usually cum back to back, I can do so more than once in a relatively short time frame. So even if I orgasm pretty quickly, the sex doesn't stop unless my partner wants it to. I often have to tell new partners just because I've cum doesn't mean the party is over. Anyway because of this I usually don't stress if I cum quickly.

 

Besides what you're doing and plan to do to last longer, all I can say if you know the signs of when you are close, think of something else to distract you. I once had a working guy tell me he thinks of something off the wall to keep from cumming right away.

[Rudynate]

At my age, I need the help of a PDE5 inhibitor to get and keep a a firm boner. A side effect is that they tend to delay orgasm. I can last and last with a little viagra on board.

[corndog]

I often have to tell new partners just because I've cum doesn't mean the party is over.

I think that this advice is particularly important. Some escorts seem to believe that once you've cum, the session is over. In some cases, I've felt that escorts make every effort to get me off quickly so they can get out of there. And, if someone has that mindset, I'm helpless to stop them. I can usually last a while, but if someone is really trying to get me off quickly, they will inevitably succeed.

 

A couple of times, before a session, I've said "My first orgasm sometimes comes quickly and easily, but don't worry I'm always ready to go for #2." Regardless of whether I believe that O#2 will actually happen, it has two possible benefits: 1) It tells the guy that there is no point in rushing that first orgasm, because I expect to keep going. 2) It may be interpreted as a challenge to make O#2 happen.

[AdamSmith]

Not for everyone, but I notice my statin (atorvastatin, generic Lipitor) makes orgasm harder to reach.

[Guest]

From a medication standpoint, paroxetine and sertraline are among the commonly prescribed remedies for this problem.

[Wolfer]

Thanks for the responses! I had an opportunity to do some more experimenting last night and sure enough, I was at the edge very quickly but I decided to let myself orgasm anyway and see if I could keep going. And I could, I maybe lost about 20% of my erection but I remained hard enough to keep pumping. I didn't for long, though, because I was worried that cum might leak out of the condom?

 

I'm looking forward to doing some more tests.

I also have my urology appointment today. I'm curious to see what they'll say.

 

A couple of times, before a session, I've said "My first orgasm sometimes comes quickly and easily, but don't worry I'm always ready to go for #2." Regardless of whether I believe that O#2 will actually happen, it has two possible benefits: 1) It tells the guy that there is no point in rushing that first orgasm, because I expect to keep going. 2) It may be interpreted as a challenge to make O#2 happen.

That's good to know! I might say this too in a next session.

[gil house]

Has anyone else noticed that the generic Lipitor delays orgasm or makes it harder to reach...

[Wolfer]

Yep, AdamSmith mentioned this a bit higher up in the tread.

[Rudynate]

Has anyone else noticed that the generic Lipitor delays orgasm or makes it harder to reach...

 

I take Crestor. Could it do the same thing?

[Wolfer]

Well! I went to the urologist today and I've started treatment. He prescribed a medicine that has dapoxetine, a desensitizing cream and I'm also starting treatment with a physical therapist, who's going to teach me to control my muscles and feel what's happening in my body. And I'm also going to start seeing a sex therapist (just talking, though, haha). I'm anxious about being open about the hobby to this therapist. I feel like too much emphasis might be put on the fact that I'm hiring instead of acknowledging that my issues with sex have been present long before I started the hobby and that hiring is actually allowing me to explore my sexuality in a somewhat less stressful way than full-on random hookups.

[Phil_musc]

My perspective is totally different here - I think the Karmic Cosmic Universe is trying to tell the OP that he needs to try bottoming for a change of pace and to see what it is like. . .

[Wolfer]

My perspective is totally different here - I think the Karmic Cosmic Universe is trying to tell the OP that he needs to try bottoming for a change of pace and to see what it is like. . .

I have bottomed in the past and training myself to be a great bottom is on my to-do list. I like the thought of being completely versatile. But there is absolutely nothing wrong in having a preference. If I didn't care about my bottoms I would not go through all this trouble to be able to last longer and just pump, cum and dump them. But since I want my bottom to enjoy his time with me, I want to be able to last longer.