Why Hire Escorts?

[calrichmond]

I have a friend of mine who constantly asks me why I hire escorts. I am reasonably attractive, blessed with good equipment, and do date and hookup using several websites (silverdaddies is great for older guys).

 

Hiring escorts eliminates a lot of endless emails and questions and requests for pictures to be sent via email. Escorts don't flake out on you as often happens with online connections. Escorts don't judge you or dismiss you for aging or putting on a few pounds (if they do, they have the good taste to keep it to themselves). Unlike bar connections, you don't run the risk of a DUI or inviting a homicidal maniac into your home as happened in Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 

I resent men, gay or straight, who use the services of sex workers and either dismiss them as having no job skills or as lazy. It takes excellent interpersonal skills to interact socially, as well as sexually, with clients who more often than not, are not the escort's idea of the "perfect man". Also, I admire the ability of escorts to perform under difficult circumstances when the client is overweight, unattractive or physically disabled. Yet these men deserve and need intimate human contact. For them, escorts may be the only intimate contact available. Inside, however, unattractive people may possess a superior intellect and a sensitive soul.

 

So, to all the men I've hired of the years, thank you. Although my looks may have faded, and I have put on a few pounds, not one of you has ever made me feel bad about myself. Quite the contrary, my self esteem has increased when escorts I've developed long term relationships have noticed my unique characteristics. I was especially complimented when an escort asked me to translate letters from his great-grandfather who immigrated to America from Germany before WWI.

 

So, let's always show the working boy respect and appreciation.

[Juan Vancouver]

What a beautiful post. Thank you. =)

[geminibear]

Great post

[+ glennnn]

Many of us need the privacy that hiring an escort offers; our situations don't allow us to seek male contact in our daily lives. The escorts , (God love 'em), provide a safe, alternative to park restrooms a d such..And before anyone brings up "just come out", let me say that only my gay brothers of say, 40 or more can really know the trauma of growing up ashamed and silent, without pride or a voice in America. Thanks, escorts. Now how are we going to get the Man to back off of our private lives?

[calrichmond]

And before anyone brings up "just come out", let me say that only my gay brothers of say, 40 or more can really know the trauma of growing up ashamed and silent, without pride or a voice in America.

 

Amen to that! So often younger gay men don't realize how the bigotry and discrimination of years past created internalized homophobia and fear in an older generation. And there are reasons for that internalized homophobia as well. You can't have years and years of being told homosexuality is wrong and evil for it NOT to have an effect.

[+ glennnn]

Absolutely, I was certainly convinced I was sick and disgusting. One gay boy in my bigoted town committed suicide in 1960 at age 16.

[tyro]

Along with all the beautiful reasons listed by the OP, there is this humdinger too:

Most men don't know their way around anyone's anatomy but their own.

T

[TruHart1]

Along with all the beautiful reasons listed by the OP, there is this humdinger too:

Most men don't know their way around anyone's anatomy but their own.

T

I totally agree, T!

 

Personally, I had no idea how many G spots were available for me on my own body until some very wonderful guys who "knew" what to try with me opened new vistas for me, personally and sensually! Thanks are never enough for the really great escorts I have been lucky enough to experience!

 

TruHart1

[liubit]

I can think of a few reasons:

 

- because it is easier: you avoid the hassles of hooking up in bars or websites

- because I am very sexual

- because I enjoy their company

- because I have met truly wonderful working boys, who are physically beautiful, but also caring, loving and sensitive

- because I have learned a lot from them

- because it is fun

- because I love it

- because they leave

 

and, last but not least, because I can afford it!

[marylander1940]

I hire because I'm old, and I have some disposable cash income from a rental property I have.

[curiousnomore]

Great Thread Cal, and I totally agree with glennn.

Coming Out isn't an option for me, given my situation. I appreciate the men I've met because they are willing to share a very personal part of themselves with me. For that alone, they are worthy of my, and our, respect.

[+ Just Sayin]

some of us are in relationships that are loving but no longer sexual; to me, it makes sense to outsource this part of my life

[+ glennnn]

Just Sayin',

 

At this point in my closeted life it isn't about being gay or bi, it's about the years of dishonesty and deceit in relationships that could be so destructive. How do we say to family and friends, "You really don't know me, and never have? I've kept the truth from you for 65 years." Yes, we have our reasons. We went into the closet at a time when being honest was dangerous and terrifying, but we still lied. Is the peace of mind I might gain by coming out more important than theirs?

[Wolfer]

Is the peace of mind I might gain by coming out more important than theirs?

To me the answer would be yes, but only you can answer this question for yourself of course.

[Wolfer]

On topic, I hire because I have insecurities about my penis size and my skills at sex. With good escorts there's an expectation they will accept you and your body as you are and not make fun of or belittle you. Also, with escorts I can communicate my preferences beforehand and again, the good escorts will either accomodate my needs or honestly tell me we wouldn't be a good match.

But for me it's mainly feeling "safe" to be "naked" in front of someone, both physically, mentally and emotionally.

[TruthBTold]

Just Sayin',

 

At this point in my closeted life it isn't about being gay or bi, it's about the years of dishonesty and deceit in relationships that could be so destructive. How do we say to family and friends, "You really don't know me, and never have? I've kept the truth from you for 65 years." Yes, we have our reasons. We went into the closet at a time when being honest was dangerous and terrifying, but we still lied. Is the peace of mind I might gain by coming out more important than theirs?

 

It takes years to get over all the damage that was done to us and all the damage we did to ourselves during all those years in which we were told that being gay was bad and unacceptable. At the very least, there were times when you felt your body was in danger if someone found out. We were surrounded by overt messages that the lifestyle and any acceptance we showed ourselves was unforgivable . . . by our country, our church, and generally by those who should have cared about us the most. It was all meant to humiliate and it did. I find it most painful because no matter how much time goes by and no matter how much acceptance comes to the fore, the feeling of youthful humiliation is always be there. Even the fact that the society is still using language regarding "acceptance" is degrading - as if a sexual majority should be in the position to "accept" us as full human. I know that it paints a bleak picture but for those who have begun to grow up in a country and world where being gay is but one of many choices and no acceptance is needed or looked for it is not bleak at all. Many here aided in gaining that unfettered choice. However, it came with a price.

[+ glennnn]

It takes years to get over all the damage that was done to us and all the damage we did to ourselves during all those years in which we were told that being gay was bad and unacceptable. At the very least, there were times when you felt your body was in danger if someone found out. We were surrounded by overt messages that the lifestyle and any acceptance we showed ourselves was unforgivable . . . by our country, our church, and generally by those who should have cared about us the most. It was all meant to humiliate and it did. I find it most painful because no matter how much time goes by and no matter how much acceptance comes to the fore, the feeling of youthful humiliation is always be there. Even the fact that the society is still using language regarding "acceptance" is degrading - as if a sexual majority should be in the position to "accept" us as full human. I know that it paints a bleak picture but for those who have begun to grow up in a country and world where being gay is but one of many choices and no acceptance is needed or looked for it is not bleak at all. Many here aided in gaining that unfettered choice. However, it came with a price.

 

You are so right. I have lived a very service-oriented and ethical life, even though I never felt I deserved the approbation I earned. I knew that those who praised would quickly condemn if they knew. I'm still hoping I can undo some of the damage, or at least be one more example of what "queers" can do for society.

 

I wish you could let go of the anger and hurt, too. I value you, and thank you for your help.

[+ Tygerscent]

I have a friend of mine who constantly asks me why I hire escorts. I am reasonably attractive, blessed with good equipment, and do date and hookup using several websites (silverdaddies is great for older guys).

 

Hiring escorts eliminates a lot of endless emails and questions and requests for pictures to be sent via email. Escorts don't flake out on you as often happens with online connections. Escorts don't judge you or dismiss you for aging or putting on a few pounds (if they do, they have the good taste to keep it to themselves). Unlike bar connections, you don't run the risk of a DUI or inviting a homicidal maniac into your home as happened in Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 

I resent men, gay or straight, who use the services of sex workers and either dismiss them as having no job skills or as lazy. It takes excellent interpersonal skills to interact socially, as well as sexually, with clients who more often than not, are not the escort's idea of the "perfect man". Also, I admire the ability of escorts to perform under difficult circumstances when the client is overweight, unattractive or physically disabled. Yet these men deserve and need intimate human contact. For them, escorts may be the only intimate contact available. Inside, however, unattractive people may possess a superior intellect and a sensitive soul.

 

So, to all the men I've hired of the years, thank you. Although my looks may have faded, and I have put on a few pounds, not one of you has ever made me feel bad about myself. Quite the contrary, my self esteem has increased when escorts I've developed long term relationships have noticed my unique characteristics. I was especially complimented when an escort asked me to translate letters from his great-grandfather who immigrated to America from Germany before WWI.

 

So, let's always show the working boy respect and appreciation.

Thank you for your compassionate and compelling insights and words, Calrichmond~

You convey aspects regarding Escorts and Escorting that bring to light the profession in a more realistic and 3D fashion~

There's plenty of folks that stereotype us as being more specifically a "sexual experience" and leave out the human aspects of who we are, what we do and why~

We are, of course, human beings first... All sharing and connecting on some level, (realized or not)...

That is the point of departure to an ends of unveiling the awesomeness of who we are and can be together in this amazing life adventure~

Sex is one thing... Connecting intimately with another individual is another~ It can happen on so many different levels besides sexual~

In fact, it's that 3D experience that can make a sexual encounter a compelling, life changing experience for the better~

Thank you for posting your views here on the board~

Tyger

[email protected]

971.400.2633

[RacerX]

I hire because I fear rejection and because it is much easier. I believe escorts serve a great purpose and as long as they are happy doing it, then I am happy being a customer.

[jcmiami1]

Wonderful post...escorts don't judge you based on "height/weight/age/looks/ethnicity" yea it's all a fantasy but at least they keep it to themselves. Unlike most gay men which sadly based on my experiences can be extremely discriminatory and vocal about it too with no shame or concerns for the other persons emotions. Anyone who has been on any gay dating site can tell you the same. Here in Miami there are a lot of Hispanic DL married men with wife and kids and their only "escape" is hiring male escorts. Escorts serve a purpose period.

Those gay men who judge those about hiring escorts are usually the ones cheating on their husbands and boyfriends going on Grindr etc to find a fuck buddy AND are usually those nasty repulsive queens with dyed hair bad facelifts who wear Ambercombie&Fitch at age 60 but behave like 16 year old girls. I've known too many of these douchebags.

Bottom line, if hiring an escort makes you happy do it. It's a win win situation for you and the escort!

[+ DickyF]

I have suffered from acute shyness my whole life. While my therapist wishes I wouldn't hire - feeling it's keeping me from being more adventurous in dating - he doesn't condemn hiring and knows many guys do it.

Humans need personal touch for their well-being. It's a chance for me to feel normal even though I know it has a commercial service factor. I often feel great afterwards and more confident.

[+ glennnn]

I have suffered from acute shyness my whole life. While my therapist wishes I wouldn't hire - feeling it's keeping me from being more adventurous in dating - he doesn't condemn hiring and knows many guys do it.

Humans need personal touch for their well-being. It's a chance for me to feel normal even though I know it has a commercial service factor. I often feel great afterwards and more confident.

 

Good for you. You often feel great and you are filling a basic need without hurting anyone. As long as you can afford the financial strain, there are only winners in this scenario. Perhaps you can use a particularly satisfactory experience as a confidence boost to be more adventurous in dating.

 

May I ask if you are a top or bottom or.....?

[RacerX]

Many escorts can help you in ways that a therapist cannot and they usually charge the same rate.

[Wolfer]

Many escorts can help you in ways that a therapist cannot and they usually charge the same rate.

Agree!