Bdsm pics in escort ads?

[Mikegaite]

So I've done a good bit of BDSM work with clients, with Kink.com, and in my own personal life, but 90 percent of my escorting work ends up being vanilla. I have new photos from a recent bdsm shoot, but I'm not sure which, if any, to post. I fear non-fetish-minded people would be freaked out seeing photos of me hogtied and it would deter more clients than it would attract. What's the best way to let people know that I can get into bdsm but it's not something that should scare vanilla types away? I really like my new sleep sack pics but not everyone feels the same :-(

[+ poolboy48220]

I can't think of anything more creative than saying that you enjoy vanilla scenes as well as kink, and making sure your ad has pictures showing both sides.

[bigvalboy]

I'm with poolboy...and I don't think you have any worries about alienating a particular client with special interests. I think it would be a plus to most everyone to know that you have.....well...a bit of a wild side.

 

Besides, you never know how much the client who requests vanilla, has always secretly wanted to venture further, and you would be just the guy to take him there.

[whipped guy]

To BDSM or not to BDSM! That is the question!

 

The best advice I can think of came from an escort who specialized in BDSM but also had worked for a number of years in marketing. His advice was to undersell regarding BDSM activities. What prompted this discussion was do to the fact that when I first booked with him I really was unsure if he was a total BDSM specialist. He advertised as a "Dominant Top" and many of his photos showed him decked out in leather. However, there was not a flogger to be seen in his ads or on his website. Yet he also said that he could make any of your BDSM fantasies come true and did mention a well equipped playroom.

 

Of course when we first hooked up I had described in detail what I wanted and he said that he was not only game, but had the necessary accoutrements. He was one of the few escorts who actually did have a room dedicated to BDSM play. Most advertise as such, but the "playroom" is usually a bedroom with a couple of floggers in a drawer.

 

Of course over the years I have done such activities with guys who advertise only vanilla. With one guy now retired I was probably his only such client and it was just between the two of us. Otherwise he only did vanilla. Another escort who is now not active as well had photos of himself with some chains. I thought that was a wink wink nod nod that he was into BDSM. It wasn't. It was just an idea from his photographer. However, it prompted me to contact him and I turned him into a BDSM type guy... and eventually into a switch/versatile BDSM player.

 

Of course the other way to address the issue is to have two ads running concurrently. The vanilla guy can have a staid sounding name such as Trevor or Niles and the BDSM guy a tough as nails name such as Gunner or Xenon.

 

However, if you don't want to complicate your life I would go with the undersell approach as that should not scare away vanilla clients and would allow for serious BDSM inquiries as well. Many clients are impressed with versatility and often do have secret desires.

 

The only problem occurs when an escort checks all the boxes for his Rentboy ads and states that he can do it all when he can't. In your case that won't be an issue because you are into such activities, but it might give pause to a guy who is into BDSM. That's where that bit of an undersell, yet it's still a sell, comes in handy!

[borgerback]

Big sloppy breadcrumbs. And Mike, I'd like to see the photos! But you already have some (fairly discreet) bondage photos on your Rentmen site - the 'suspension' cuffs - but I'm sure most of the viewers are focusing on your backside and not your hands . . .

[whipped guy]

Mike, since you mention some new BDSM photos you might want to share them with some trusted individuals, certain special clients etc, simply to get their opinions regarding which cross the line.

 

Hint: We guys here are quite trustworthy!

[rvwnsd]

You've received some great suggestions. One other option is to set the BDSM pics as private (Rentboy, Rentmen, and M4RN all have ways of doing this) and send passwords to those who are interested in BDSM scenes.

[borgerback]

The only problem occurs when an escort checks all the boxes for his Rentboy ads and states that he can do it all when he can't. In your case that won't be an issue because you are into such activities, but it might give pause to a guy who is into BDSM. That's where that bit of an undersell, yet it's still a sell, comes in handy!

 

So I have to say this has been my biggest disappointment in hiring so far, although nearly everyone I've hired has certainly tried, and most were very up front about their lack of skill in this area, but we agreed to try anyway. Probably, on the occasion where I've been allowed to restrain the escort (usually after more than one meeting, and the comfort level has been established), my disappointment has been that the bondage activity hasn't excited or aroused the escort - for which, of course, I can't blame them in any way - it's not truly an erotic interest of theirs. So I prefer to play with ones where the bondage IS such an interest, and I like to know now, up front, if that's the case or not.

 

I have had the experience of playing with a couple guys who were absolute novices, and ended up being pretty amused with the whole set up, I must say.

 

Finally: I always ask the escort if they want me to mention the BDSM in a review or not.

 

E

[whipped guy]

So I have to say this has been my biggest disappointment in hiring so far, although nearly everyone I've hired has certainly tried, and most were very up front about their lack of skill in this area, but we agreed to try anyway. Probably, on the occasion where I've been allowed to restrain the escort (usually after more than one meeting, and the comfort level has been established), my disappointment has been that the bondage activity hasn't excited or aroused the escort - for which, of course, I can't blame them in any way - it's not truly an erotic interest of theirs. So I prefer to play with ones where the bondage IS such an interest, and I like to know now, up front, if that's the case or not.

I have had the experience of playing with a couple guys who were absolute novices, and ended up being pretty amused with the whole set up, I must say.

Finally: I always ask the escort if they want me to mention the BDSM in a review or not.

I'll begin with your final sentence. Yes! I always get clearance regarding the BDSM word if a review is to be submitted and especially if the escort agrees to a switch and is the sub. Either way the review is very carefully written so as not to discourage vanilla clients or make it seem as though the escort is willing to sub for just any client who decides to hire him. Surprisingly even when they sub most escorts have allowed such a review to be published. However, by that time more than a certain amount of trust has been established between the parties involved. Still, I always run the review by them prior to submission.

 

Regarding escorts who are novices, only one decided at the conclusion of the session that such a scene was not for him. Interestingly he really wanted to enjoy the activities involved, but it simply was not in him. Surprisingly as a former EOY he has a reputation for being a fucking machine and a dominant top, but having to do the BDSM business simply bored him. Yet for others it has opened up new vistas and pointed their careers in a different direction. Case in point: a while back Rentman Rick told me that he knew of the perfect BDSM escort. However, he was located in Canada. When I checked the guy out I literally laughed out loud as I was the guy who got him started on the BDSM road. At the time he had absolutely no clue about anything, but I did open his Pandora's Box.

 

Of course I'm more into S&M as opposed to bondage. I find the bondage aspect to be time consuming and as such it can be viewed as boring by many guys.

 

Bottom line: nothing is easy and especially in the world of BDSM!

[+ Axiom2001]

I can't think of anything more creative than saying that you enjoy vanilla scenes as well as kink, and making sure your ad has pictures showing both sides.

 

...as well as sounding and being "sexier as hell!"

[+ Archer]

I have to agree with poolboy. Having said that, what really drew my attention was the first picture in your ad. Your smile is a heart stopper

[whipped guy]

I have to agree with poolboy. Having said that, what really drew my attention was the first picture in your ad. Your smile is a heart stopper

Yep! That pic is the hook! Most guys who are into BDSM want to know that the top guy is in essence a nice guy. That is the first step in establishing the trust and confidence needed to allow the bottom to submit to the Dom. Once the sub is drawn in, the relationship can build from there. Of course that pic would lure in vanilla guys as well. It's all part of the "undersell" technique!

[Mikegaite]

That's great advice. I was originally leaning along the lines of one pretty hardcore pic responding uniquely to its environment amidst a range of otherwise vanilla pics. But now I have I definitely have some thinking to do. Pics forthcoming :-)

[borgerback]

So Mike, where are the 'forthcoming' pics? Or did the RB scandal delay or block their appearance?

[Tuffpie]

For me, I'm more likely to hire someone who has a range of things that turn him on. Knowing that you like bdsm makes you a more fun hire, I think.