SEEKING ULTRA HIGH END CLIENT ... FOR ME

[+ stevenkesslar]

Well this is gonna be tough for me, guys. Since I have been active on the forum again I have appreciated all your support and encouragement. But as much as I have prided myself on being a fantastic escort since 2000, I have been reading some of these other threads. And I have to say, while I never saw this coming, I have decided I have to make some major changes.

 

I've gone through all the clients that have hired me in all the major markets. Many of them are frequent posters on this site. And I have decided none of them fit the bill for where I need to go with my future. Sorry, guys, but as far as I am concerned you are all a bunch of sorry losers. Please don't take this personally. But what I have decided is that I both need and deserve to be hired exclusively by one ultra high-end client.

 

I am looking for somebody who is very high powered. Probably better if they are a celebrity or at least semi-publicly known. But the most important characteristic for my ideal ultra high-end client is simple: they have to be moneyed. I want a sugar daddy I can blackmail as needed, and so the only thing that really matters to me is that he is seriously loaded.

 

Other than that I am really not very picky. My ultra high end client does not need to be in his 20s or 30s. He does not need to be whip smart, or have a nice smile, or a nice personality. He does not need to have 5 % body fat. Hell, as far as I am concerned he can be obese. See what I care, as long as his wallet is bulging at least as much as his fat belly.

 

I would like him to be straight and married, as it increases my prospects for successfully extorting him exponentially. But given the logic of this arrangement I am sure he will be willing to pay me a shitload of money without having to even so much as defraud him, so as far as I'm concerned he can even be as queer as a three dollar bill and I don't care.

 

The compelling logic of this arrangement is that I will be his exclusive ultra high end escort. That way he will know by virtue of our exclusive arrangement that he is also an ultra high end client, and the rest of you sorry assholes can just keep your gossipy mouths shut and be real jealous while him and I have exclusive ultra-high end sex that you can not even begin to imagine.

 

Although once I find him you unfortunate queens won't even have shit to be jealous of, because my ultra high end client and I are going to be utterly, totally discreet. No public pictures, no private pictures, not even words on this stupid website.

 

You would be surprised how even somebody like a professional doorman would fuck with us if given a chance. And it doesn't stop there. A taxi driver, a concierge at an exclusive Parisian restaurant, a nail stylist at a salon on Rodeo Drive - you never know who is going to threaten to spill the beans. Hell, these days you can't even trust the homeless scum you pass on the street. Even those sorry motherfuckers can and will snap a picture with their cheap Samsung cell phones. No, nobody but me is going to have a chance to get rich off extorting my ultra high end client.

 

Now I am sure you are wondering why an aging whore like me feels entitled to fleece some pathetic cream of the crop sugar daddy of his fortune when there are all these gorgeous twenty something's he has to choose from. Well - fuck you all, because I've figured all the angles on this and I think what I have to offer is what no ultra high end client worth his trust fund can refuse.

 

1. First thing is I am going to fire all my clients. My business model up until now has been to be ultra discerning, uber fascinating, and super discreet, meaning that I normally take 3-5 clients a month. Instead, once I find my ultra high end client, I will focus solely on him. I want to be hired 2-3 times a month for sessions lasting 1 to 2 hours, allowing me to spend the rest of the month extorting his sorry ass and making more money than ever before. People who are not a part of this very specific and exclusive world have no idea how easy it is to fleece elitists who do not want other members of their exclusive world to learn they have specifically homosexual proclivities, which is a fancy way of saying they are basically a closeted faggot.

 

2. Because of the extreme need for discretion involved in attracting an ultra high end client, I plan to arrange for him to pay for facial reconstruction surgery before our first meeting. This is necessary because any porn star, escort, or hustler I know of - or even hot bartenders or bouncers that are willing to be hired if the price is right - have at one point or another, at a minimum, posted a selfie on the internet. And these days, when even homeless scum have cheap cell phones with photo taking capabilities, you simply can't be too careful about being recognized in public. With surgery, my super high end elite client can be assured he will only be seen with someone totally unrecognizable.

 

You might ask why an ultra high end escort like me would be willing to undergo facial reconstruction surgery? Simple. Because I need a facelift. And a lot of money.

 

You may also wonder why an ultra high end client would settle for an aging whore when so many drop dead gorgeous fashion models in their 20s are available. First of all, how many of said models do you think can actually check the whip smart or interesting boxes desired by the atypical elitist fool who considers himself to actually be brilliant? Secondly, how many of the precious few remaining models do you think don't have highly attractive photos of themselves working out or playing with their dogs or eating tofu or skateboarding to their next failed audition plastered on Facebook or Instagram? People who are not in the employ of high profile, ultra-discreet, and uber-privacy-oriented rich fucks can not even begin to imagine how irritating it is when they are "outed" on Facebook with some hot wanna-be model with no prospects for success and an addiction to selfies.

 

3. Because of the fact that I am white, I am obviously more desirable to ultra high end clients than Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, Eskimos, Pacific Islanders, Native Hawaiians, or any other races. No doubt there are liberal diversity freaks reading this who think that in the Obama era, such a criterion is an anachronism. If you think that, you are stupid, for reasons that can't be elaborated on. The 1 % of the 1 % are white, and they want their ultra high end escorts to look and think just like them.

 

4. Speaking of thinking like them, what really will seal the deal is that before meeting my new ultra high end sugar daddy, I will arrange for the removal of part of my temporal lobe, which governs emotion, and particularly the left side of my temporal lobe, which governs language. That way my ultra high end client won't have to worry about a thing I say, or concern himself with the fact that I am really annoyed that he is an arrogant asshole. I actually won't feel much of anything at all, just like most other ultra-rich people.

 

5. If you think this plan sounds outlandish or expensive, you can not imagine the kind of money the people I am seeking to rip off have and spend. In other words, you are a loser, and you have no fucking imagination.

 

6. Part of the reason I am so good at my job is because I never feel the need to explain anything beyond what I already have. So if you have any questions or reasons to doubt my business model, or my credibility, just go fuck yourself.

 

7. If you have information that will lead me to the ultra high end client I am seeking, please respond. Credible information will of course by handled sincerely, discreetly, and with incredibly elite condescension.

[doitb4ugo]

I like your new business model, Steven. I was almost going to apply to be your daddy but your 2-3 times a month output is offputting...I was hoping such a young guy would at least give me daily service for all the extortion money you would be getting. Perhaps we can negotiate. Call my assistant and set up an interview....good day sir.

[bigvalboy]

I'd call Danneeoo...

[robberbaron4u]

Avarice can be compelling in a young man; in an old man, it can be pitiful. Kesslar, post: 971540, member: 4739"]Well this is gonna be tough for me, guys. Since I have been active on the forum again I have appreciated all your support and encouragement. But as much as I have prided myself on being a fantastic escort since 2000, I have been reading some of these other threads. And I have to say, while I never saw this coming, I have decided I have to make some major changes.

 

I've gone through all the clients that have hired me in all the major markets. Many of them are frequent posters on this site. And I have decided none of them fit the bill for where I need to go with my future. Sorry, guys, but as far as I am concerned you are all a bunch of sorry losers. Please don't take this personally. But what I have decided is that I both need and deserve to be hired exclusively by one ultra high-end client.

 

I am looking for somebody who is very high powered. Probably better if they are a celebrity or at least semi-publicly known. But the most important characteristic for my ideal ultra high-end client is simple: they have to be moneyed. I want a sugar daddy I can blackmail as needed, and so the only thing that really matters to me is that he is seriously loaded.

 

Other than that I am really not very picky. My ultra high end client does not need to be in his 20s or 30s. He does not need to be whip smart, or have a nice smile, or a nice personality. He does not need to have 5 % body fat. Hell, as far as I am concerned he can be obese. See what I care, as long as his wallet is bulging at least as much as his fat belly.

 

I would like him to be straight and married, as it increases my prospects for successfully extorting him exponentially. But given the logic of this arrangement I am sure he will be willing to pay me a shitload of money without having to even so much as defraud him, so as far as I'm concerned he can even be as queer as a three dollar bill and I don't care.

 

The compelling logic of this arrangement is that I will be his exclusive ultra high end escort. That way he will know by virtue of our exclusive arrangement that he is also an ultra high end client, and the rest of you sorry assholes can just keep your gossipy mouths shut and be real jealous while him and I have exclusive ultra-high end sex that you can not even begin to imagine.

 

Although once I find him you unfortunate queens won't even have shit to be jealous of, because my ultra high end client and I are going to be utterly, totally discreet. No public pictures, no private pictures, not even words on this stupid website.

 

You would be surprised how even somebody like a professional doorman would fuck with us if given a chance. And it doesn't stop there. A taxi driver, a concierge at an exclusive Parisian restaurant, a nail stylist at a salon on Rodeo Drive - you never know who is going to threaten to spill the beans. Hell, these days you can't even trust the homeless scum you pass on the street. Even those sorry motherfuckers can and will snap a picture with their cheap Samsung cell phones. No, nobody but me is going to have a chance to get rich off extorting my ultra high end client.

 

Now I am sure you are wondering why an aging whore like me feels entitled to fleece some pathetic cream of the crop sugar daddy of his fortune when there are all these gorgeous twenty something's he has to choose from. Well - fuck you all, because I've figured all the angles on this and I think what I have to offer is what no ultra high end client worth his trust fund can refuse.

 

1. First thing is I am going to fire all my clients. My business model up until now has been to be ultra discerning, uber fascinating, and super discreet, meaning that I normally take 3-5 clients a month. Instead, once I find my ultra high end client, I will focus solely on him. I want to be hired 2-3 times a month for sessions lasting 1 to 2 hours, allowing me to spend the rest of the month extorting his sorry ass and making more money than ever before. People who are not a part of this very specific and exclusive world have no idea how easy it is to fleece elitists who do not want other members of their exclusive world to learn they have specifically homosexual proclivities, which is a fancy way of saying they are basically a closeted faggot.

 

2. Because of the extreme need for discretion involved in attracting an ultra high end client, I plan to arrange for him to pay for facial reconstruction surgery before our first meeting. This is necessary because any porn star, escort, or hustler I know of - or even hot bartenders or bouncers that are willing to be hired if the price is right - have at one point or another, at a minimum, posted a selfie on the internet. And these days, when even homeless scum have cheap cell phones with photo taking capabilities, you simply can't be too careful about being recognized in public. With surgery, my super high end elite client can be assured he will only be seen with someone totally unrecognizable.

 

You might ask why an ultra high end escort like me would be willing to undergo facial reconstruction surgery? Simple. Because I need a facelift. And a lot of money.

 

You may also wonder why an ultra high end client would settle for an aging whore when so many drop dead gorgeous fashion models in their 20s are available. First of all, how many of said models do you think can actually check the whip smart or interesting boxes desired by the atypical elitist fool who considers himself to actually be brilliant? Secondly, how many of the precious few remaining models do you think don't have highly attractive photos of themselves working out or playing with their dogs or eating tofu or skateboarding to their next failed audition plastered on Facebook or Instagram? People who are not in the employ of high profile, ultra-discreet, and uber-privacy-oriented rich fucks can not even begin to imagine how irritating it is when they are "outed" on Facebook with some hot wanna-be model with no prospects for success and an addiction to selfies.

 

3. Because of the fact that I am white, I am obviously more desirable to ultra high end clients than Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, Eskimos, Pacific Islanders, Native Hawaiians, or any other races. No doubt there are liberal diversity freaks reading this who think that in the Obama era, such a criterion is an anachronism. If you think that, you are stupid, for reasons that can't be elaborated on. The 1 % of the 1 % are white, and they want their ultra high end escorts to look and think just like them.

 

4. Speaking of thinking like them, what really will seal the deal is that before meeting my new ultra high end sugar daddy, I will arrange for the removal of part of my temporal lobe, which governs emotion, and particularly the left side of my temporal lobe, which governs language. That way my ultra high end client won't have to worry about a thing I say, or concern himself with the fact that I am really annoyed that he is an arrogant asshole. I actually won't feel much of anything at all, just like most other ultra-rich people.

 

5. If you think this plan sounds outlandish or expensive, you can not imagine the kind of money the people I am seeking to rip off have and spend. In other words, you are a loser, and you have no fucking imagination.

 

6. Part of the reason I am so good at my job is because I never feel the need to explain anything beyond what I already have. So if you have any questions or reasons to doubt my business model, or my credibility, just go fuck yourself.

 

7. If you have information that will lead me to the ultra high end client I am seeking, please respond. Credible information will of course by handled sincerely, discreetly, and with incredibly elite condescension.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I'd call Danneeoo...

 

She busy.

[+ purplekow]

First Steven, if that is your name, I am surprised you have not already managed to snag such a sucker. When I say sucker, I mean in a good way. You have been around long enough to have figured this out back during the first Clinton administration. When I say first Clinton administration, I mean the entire 8 years of Bill and Blow Jobs, not the upcoming second Hillary administration, which will not likely involve any blow jobs at all.

One straight, ostensibly self-absorbed, married (semi)public figure, powerful, assumedly with powerful friends and money, whose wife might kill him if he was caught publicly having illicit sexual relations. Hmm...John Travolta is already taken....and straight is certainly a stretch there. So that leaves only Bill himself. Bill lives here in the NY area and I would be happy to put you up for as long it is necessary so that you can wangle and invitation to one of Bill's events (1000 to 10000 dollars should be enough to do that) and some additional time to research what kind of cigar he likes.

Let me know when you are arriving so I can freshen up the newly refurbished guest room. The springs on the mattress need some lubing.

[+ stevenkesslar]

I like your new business model, Steven. I was almost going to apply to be your daddy but your 2-3 times a month output is offputting...I was hoping such a young guy would at least give me daily service for all the extortion money you would be getting. Perhaps we can negotiate. Call my assistant and set up an interview....good day sir.

 

Ha. Sorry, Sir, but your offer is lacking in credibility. No ultra high end client would be wasting his time screwing around on a website like this. More important, anybody with even half a brain can figure out for himself that a true ultra high end client would certainly not leave such a sensitive communication, negotiation, and decision to a personal assistant. I'd say you're a poser. Unfortunately, for said reasons, you are not really a match for what I'm looking for. Please don't feel hurt. Next.

[doitb4ugo]

Mr Kesslar, you have broken my heart but thankfully left the rest of me intact-particularly my wallet.

[krafka]

Is this a parody post?

 

Is there some long-running joke that I'm not getting?

[thickornotatall]

most posts seem to be (almost) clever...

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Is this a parody post?

 

Is there some long-running joke that I'm not getting?

 

You'll get it a'plenty if you become SK's ULTRA HIGH END CLIENT.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Is this a parody post?

Is there some long-running joke that I'm not getting?

 

Hmmm....not sure

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/need-help-finding-a-ultra-high-end-escort-for-my-boss.105126/page-3#post-969999

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Ask the Magic 8-inch Ball.

[+ stevenkesslar]

First Steven, if that is your name, I am surprised you have not already managed to snag such a sucker. When I say sucker, I mean in a good way. You have been around long enough to have figured this out back during the first Clinton administration. When I say first Clinton administration, I mean the entire 8 years of Bill and Blow Jobs, not the upcoming second Hillary administration, which will not likely involve any blow jobs at all.

One straight, ostensibly self-absorbed, married (semi)public figure, powerful, assumedly with powerful friends and money, whose wife might kill him if he was caught publicly having illicit sexual relations. Hmm...John Travolta is already taken....and straight is certainly a stretch there. So that leaves only Bill himself. Bill lives here in the NY area and I would be happy to put you up for as long it is necessary so that you can wangle and invitation to one of Bill's events (1000 to 10000 dollars should be enough to do that) and some additional time to research what kind of cigar he likes.

Let me know when you are arriving so I can freshen up the newly refurbished guest room. The springs on the mattress need some lubing.

 

Sorry. Forgot to mention. No Democrats. Looking for a Republican. Politicians are fine, especially one who publicly claims to hate the idea of sucking cock or letting those of us who like to get married. Easy to blackmail.

 

Anybody here know Aaron Schock? He's the kind of asshole I could really enjoy getting into.

 

http://1wdojq181if3tdg01yomaof86.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/AaronSchock.jpg

[robberbaron4u]

If you have word from Aaron, Mr. Kurowski will have an interest in chatting with you. . .

 

Anybody here know Aaron Schock?

 

http://1wdojq181if3tdg01yomaof86.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/AaronSchock.jpg

[+ FreshFluff]

Avarice can be compelling in a young man; in an old man, it can be pitiful.

 

I don't know how you define old. If it's over 40, I know a lot of pitiful people.

[robberbaron4u]

May I rephrase my remark: Avarice can be compelling in a youthful "escort"; in an old "hustler", it is downright pitiful. Mr. Kessler was introduced to me some years ago, and, certainly he is not a hustler, but, as a matter of fact. he is not a youthful escort at this writing; nonetheless, he yet cuts a fine figure of a man in my book, and, the gentleman of means who takes him up will face up to the inevitability of an empty purse with a happy memory in his heart and a smile on his face .

I don't know how you define old. If it's over 40, I know a lot of pitiful people.

[+ Gar1eth]

My gosh Steven. Your description of your perfect client- it's like you were the M.C. of This Is Your Life, Ralph Edwards, and describing me to a T.

 

Gman

[+ stevenkesslar]

May I rephrase my remark: Avarice can be compelling in a youthful "escort"; in an old "hustler", it is downright pitiful. Mr. Kessler ... is not a youthful escort at this writing

 

http://stock-image.mediafocus.com/images/previews/word-pitiful-on-keyboard-rs112054816.jpg

 

Moi?

[robberbaron4u]

Pitiful??? Surely, Mr. Kesslar, you jest. . .

[MiamiLooker]

...the gentleman of means who takes him up will face up to the inevitability of an empty purse

 

Whoa…that doesn’t sound like a result the client is going to want

[+ stevenkesslar]

My gosh Steven. Your description of your perfect client- it's like you were the M.C. of This Is Your Life, Ralph Edwards, and describing me to a T.

 

Gman

 

"Other than that I am really not very picky. My ultra high end client does not need to be in his 20s or 30s. He does not need to be whip smart, or have a nice smile, or a nice personality. He does not need to have 5 % body fat. Hell, as far as I am concerned he can be obese. See what I care, as long as his wallet is bulging at least as much as his fat belly."

 

Yes, G Man. Sounds like a potential match. Except for one incredibly important characteristic. The 1 % of the 1 % are White. Except for Oprah, and with all due respect I don't do pussy. Your avatar reveals you are Green. Please read the criteria, and please don't feel discriminated against. If it helps, feel free to be green with envy. Next.

[Despardo]

Mr. Kesslar,

 

Have you contacted Dennis Hastert?

[+ stevenkesslar]

Mr. Kesslar,

 

Have you contacted Dennis Hastert?

 

Fuck yeah! Now we're getting somewhere. Honest to God, I'm writing this from Dekalb, IL, which is I believe in his old House district, and a mere stone's throw from where he once embezzled and abused. This lead truly has promise.

 

Although, honestly, I am not sure how I'd look in orange, or how the prison thing would go. Surely that lies in his future. And as fertile as my imagination is, I don't find the gang rape scenario normally associated with slammer time to be compelling.

[bigvalboy]

Sepp's got some time on his hands....and plenty of money if the reports are correct.