Should I be worried or am I overreacting?

[+ WilliamM]

I am concerned about joselowe. Try to enjoy the rest of your vacation. You have a reason for concern, but several people have suggest good plans of action. My best wishes.

[joselowe]

I am concerned about joselowe. Try to enjoy the rest of your vacation. You have a reason for concern, but several people have suggest good plans of action. My best wishes.

Thanks so much William!

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I recently went on vacation to a Caribbean country which is known for prostituition but also has a fairly high aids rate(about .1 percent higher than the US) while there I hired a masseur and he ended up being the first guy to top me. I made him wear a condom and I checked twice during penetration and the condom was still on. That's all fine but when he finally pulled out I had a sperm-like liquid leaking out my anus. He threw the condom out and I asked him did it rip and he said no that I would've heard it rip as it makes noise. But Im scared to death! I checked and the condom was made by a Thai company with a good reputation and didn't expire until 2018 but the fact that I had that sperm like jelly thing leaking has me scared! It may be anal leakage or sperm. Anyone have any advice?

 

I usually try to use logic to defuse a situation. Here's what I would ask if a friend called me and said what you did.

 

1) Did you check the condom itself for a rip? (You answered this)

2) How long ago was this? Days, a week or two, longer?

3) Did you use lube? A lot? What kind? Is it the appropriate kind for the condom (no oil-based for latex, etc) Is it the kind that looks like cum already? Did you use enough lube, or did it hurt/pull, etc? Did he/you ever reapply lube?

4) Are you hairy or smooth by your ass?

5) Did he have a large penis?

6) Did he fuck you vigorously or slowly, normally?

7) How long did you fuck for?

8) Did he cum (or at least act like he did?)

9) Did you specifically request that he cum? When he pulled out, did you notice anything that would indicate that he actually came? Did he still have an erection?

10) When did you start noticing something leaking?

11) Had you cleaned out your ass in any fashion before you got fucked? In what manner?

12) Did you have any sort of leakage during sex, and what did it look like?

13) What was the quantity of what came out?

14) What were its characteristics in comparison to sperm you've seen before (color, smell, consistency)? Was there any blood at all?

15) When is the last time you were screened for HIV?

16) Did you have any pre-sex discussion about this with him?

17) Do you have a health-care professional that you can see today?

18) Have you contacted the escort under another name to see if he will play unsafe?

 

It's unlikely that a condom will fail under normal circumstances—however it is possible, obviously. Regardless of what happened, it's done and you need to address an immediate course of action. The first thing is to stay calm. Call your health professional now or a local gay health organization who can direct you to a health care professional if you need to be discreet. Take these questions with you, because you may get asked something similar if they counsel you. I apologize if you think I was rude—you left out a lot of details in your initial post, and sometimes we don't ask ourselves the obvious questions. I wouldn't have been a bit surprised if you had said "No, it didn't have a rip, but still there was this stuff..."

 

Be sure to think carefully about 3, 8 and 9—the reason being that he may have wanted to hide the condom to prevent you seeing there was no cum in it because he faked it.

 

Good luck.

[mike carey]

Great intervention, Chris, you covered so many of the potential issues.

[+ WilliamM]

you betcha!

 

besides, he does take the time to say as if we were going to judge him because the masseur fucked him.

 

That would be a dream come true for me, depending on how young and hot the masseur looks, I have an open type but there are guys I'm not attracted to.

 

I agree with what you say here as well as your other comments to me.

[joselowe]

I usually try to use logic to defuse a situation. Here's what I would ask if a friend called me and said what you did.

 

1) Did you check the condom itself for a rip? (You answered this)

2) How long ago was this? Days, a week or two, longer?

3) Did you use lube? A lot? What kind? Is it the appropriate kind for the condom (no oil-based for latex, etc) Is it the kind that looks like cum already? Did you use enough lube, or did it hurt/pull, etc? Did he/you ever reapply lube?

4) Are you hairy or smooth by your ass?

5) Did he have a large penis?

6) Did he fuck you vigorously or slowly, normally?

7) How long did you fuck for?

8) Did he cum (or at least act like he did?)

9) Did you specifically request that he cum? When he pulled out, did you notice anything that would indicate that he actually came? Did he still have an erection?

10) When did you start noticing something leaking?

11) Had you cleaned out your ass in any fashion before you got fucked? In what manner?

12) Did you have any sort of leakage during sex, and what did it look like?

13) What was the quantity of what came out?

14) What were its characteristics in comparison to sperm you've seen before (color, smell, consistency)? Was there any blood at all?

15) When is the last time you were screened for HIV?

16) Did you have any pre-sex discussion about this with him?

17) Do you have a health-care professional that you can see today?

18) Have you contacted the escort under another name to see if he will play unsafe?

 

It's unlikely that a condom will fail under normal circumstances—however it is possible, obviously. Regardless of what happened, it's done and you need to address an immediate course of action. The first thing is to stay calm. Call your health professional now or a local gay health organization who can direct you to a health care professional if you need to be discreet. Take these questions with you, because you may get asked something similar if they counsel you. I apologize if you think I was rude—you left out a lot of details in your initial post, and sometimes we don't ask ourselves the obvious questions. I wouldn't have been a bit surprised if you had said "No, it didn't have a rip, but still there was this stuff..."

 

Be sure to think carefully about 3, 8 and 9—the reason being that he may have wanted to hide the condom to prevent you seeing there was no cum in it because he faked it.

 

Good luck.

This happened 6 days ago, might I be able to take Travuda still? I'm going straight to the ER after work today

[marylander1940]

This happened 6 days ago, might I be able to take Travuda still? I'm going straight to the ER after work today

 

but you took time to post on here...

 

Sorry but your story is all bullshit one more time.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

This happened 6 days ago, might I be able to take Travuda still? I'm going straight to the ER after work today

I'm not a medical expert. You need to call in sick and go immediately.

[marylander1940]

I'm out of here, this a joke on all of us.

[joselowe]

but you took time to post on here...

 

Sorry but your story is all bullshit one more time.

Don't you have a hobby?

http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Joseline-Ho-Why-You-Here.gif

[marylander1940]

Don't you have a hobby?

http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Joseline-Ho-Why-You-Here.gif

 

You're still posting on here... leaving the Doctor for later.

 

I think your story is all a lie!

 

You just want cheap attention.

[joselowe]

You're still posting on here... leaving the Doctor for later.

 

I think your story is all a lie!

 

You just want cheap attention.

You stated that you felt like I was lying 5 posts ago yet you are still here posting negativity! What are you getting from that? My story is the truth and if you don't believe it, so what? Leave then! You think I'm going to tell my supervisor can I leave to get meds? I am simply concerned because I did a specific sex act for the first time and was left with concern. When it first happened I was out of the country a 3rd world country. Now I just got home 3 days ago after the holiday and decided to express my concern here asking for advice. Some people say I'm fine some say get tested, some say see a doc ASAP and some old jealous queens like you are doing nothing but trolling! You expressed how you felt about my story, but you are STILL here! Clearly jealous ! So once again BYE!

[Strafe13]

This happened 6 days ago, might I be able to take Travuda still? I'm going straight to the ER after work today

 

I'm treating this as a legitimate thread, despite some people's suspicions. Although it seems less than prudent, I've seen people on this and other forums seek advice on sex, instead of going directly to medical professionals. It's actually rather common, and the naiveté the posters display is pretty routine. So, taking that into account...

 

Whoever recommended Truvada to you was a bit mistaken in its recommended efficacy. First of all, post-exposure prophylaxis (a/k/a PEP) is only started up to 72 hours (3 days) after the potential exposure. So, if this happened 6 days ago, the OP is already out of luck. Second, although Truvada by itself used to be given as PEP, I was informed by my doctor as of late 2013, that this was no longer the PEP standard. PEP now consists of both Truvada and another medication (the name escapes me now), taken daily for 30 days, if started within the 72-hour exposure window. However, Truvada, by itself, is given as Pre-exposure prophylaxis (a/k/a PREP).

 

As of now, there's nothing the OP can really do in the way of immediate medication, but he should still seek medical advice and get tested immediately, to at least establish the most recent baseline HIV-status, since we shouldn't necessarily presume that he is even negative to begin with, despite his stating that he had been celibate until this encounter. Then, of course, if this test comes back negative, the OP will have to get retested in 3 months. If he's still negative, he should ask his medical provider about PREP, which is only prescribed for negative individuals.* Scenarios like this are why it's recommend that sexually active gay men seriously consider going on PREP. Studies have shown that when taken consistently as prescribed, the protection against HIV infection is between 96% to 99% effective, which far exceeds the efficacy rates of both birth control and condoms. That way, if a condom mishap occurs, one's bases are still covered. The OP can get more detailed information from his doctor, or, if preferred, he can go to gay health centers (if he lives in a major city with a significant LGBT population like NYC, LA, or San Fran) to obtain the most up to date information. Assuming this tale was true, I wish the OP the best of luck.

 

*Truvada is also regularly prescribed for those who are HIV-positive. But when used as PREP, the patient must be negative (established by a series of tests before it will be prescribed), and is subject to regular testing every 3 months.

[+ sync]

Joselowe, your concerns are certainly justified, but don't allow your worry to disable your sense of reason. As other have suggested, step number one is to be tested. Until you have the results of testing, try to calm yourself and think positive (about your life, not the test).

[joselowe]

I'm treating this as a legitimate thread, despite some people's suspicions. Although it seems less than prudent, I've seen people on this and other forums seek advice on sex, instead of going directly to medical professionals. It's actually rather common, and the naiveté the posters display is pretty routine. So, taking that into account...

 

Whoever recommended Truvada to you was a bit mistaken in its recommended efficacy. First of all, post-exposure prophylaxis (a/k/a PEP) is only started up to 72 hours (3 days) after the potential exposure. So, if this happened 6 days ago, the OP is already out of luck. Second, although Truvada by itself used to be given as PEP, I was informed by my doctor as of late 2013, that this was no longer the PEP standard. PEP now consists of both Truvada and another medication (the name escapes me now), taken daily for 30 days, if started within the 72-hour exposure window. However, Truvada, by itself, is given as Pre-exposure prophylaxis (a/k/a PREP).

 

As of now, there's nothing the OP can really do in the way of immediate medication, but he should still seek medical advice and get tested immediately, to at least establish the most recent baseline HIV-status, since we shouldn't necessarily presume that he is even negative to begin with, despite his stating that he had been celibate until this encounter. Then, of course, if this test comes back negative, the OP will have to get retested in 3 months. If he's still negative, he should ask his medical provider about PREP, which is only prescribed for negative individuals.* Scenarios like this are why it's recommend that sexually active gay men seriously consider going on PREP. Studies have shown that when taken consistently as prescribed, the protection against HIV infection is between 96% to 99% effective, which far exceeds the efficacy rates of both birth control and condoms. That way, if a condom mishap occurs, one's bases are still covered. The OP can get more detailed information from his doctor, or, if preferred, he can go to gay heath centers (if he lives in a major city with a significant LGBT population like NYC, LA, or San Fran) to obtain the most up to date information. Assuming this tale was true, I wish the OP the best of luck.

 

*Truvada is also regularly prescribed for those who are HIV-positive. But when used as PREP, the patient must be negative (established by a series of tests before it will be prescribed), and is subject to regular testing every 3 months.

Thanks so much for this advice. I know I was negative before my trip because I was tested for stds 3 weeks before due to high alt and ast levels in my liver. So I had to do hep b and c, hiv and herpes and etc before my trip and turned up negative for everything. I wanted to go immediately after it happened but I was in DR (where this occurred) and knew I could never really get something there. I felt fine when I got back besides being worried but was sick last night and starting getting really paranoid today. But I'll still stop by the er after work, there has to be something I can do. And I plan on getting a early detection hiv test next Friday

[marylander1940]

You stated that you felt like I was lying 5 posts ago yet you are still here posting negativity! What are you getting from that? My story is the truth and if you don't believe it, so what? Leave then! You think I'm going to tell my supervisor can I leave to get meds? I am simply concerned because I did a specific sex act for the first time and was left with concern. When it first happened I was out of the country a 3rd world country. Now I just got home 3 days ago after the holiday and decided to express my concern here asking for advice. Some people say I'm fine some say get tested, some say see a doc ASAP and some old jealous queens like you are doing nothing but trolling! You expressed how you felt about my story, but you are STILL here! Clearly jealous ! So once again BYE!

 

are you at work? Posting about from your office instead of going to the ER?

 

you'll be online posting on here the whole day...

 

I'm done!

 

Case closed.

[joselowe]

are you at work? Posting about from your office instead of going to the ER?

 

Case closed.

Still ain't found a hobby... Case closed!

[Strafe13]

Thanks so much for this advice. I know I was negative before my trip because I was tested for stds 3 weeks before due to high alt and ast levels in my liver. So I had to do hep b and c, hiv and herpes and etc before my trip and turned up negative for everything. I wanted to go immediately after it happened but I was in DR (where this occurred) and knew I could never really get something there. I felt fine when I got back besides being worried but was sick last night and starting getting really paranoid today. But I'll still stop by the er after work, there has to be something I can do. And I plan on getting a early detection hiv test next Friday

 

You should not go to the ER. This is not an immediate, life-threatening situation, which is what the ER is for, and I can't imagine they'd see you for something like this. You're already well past the 72-hour window to go on PEP, so time is no longer of the essence. Paranoia often ensues when people (especially gay men) fear they've had a potential HIV exposure, and that can lead to your brain playing pretty awful tricks on you. Go to your doctor, or a gay health clinic; explain the situation, and then follow their protocol. Again, best of luck to you.

[marylander1940]

Marylander, the post may or may not be real, and yes there may be alternate reasons for the anal emissions. That said, even if the OP is making it up, the responses have some good advice for others who might be reading.

 

One more reason for him to stop posting from his job, God knows how many days ago he arrived from this imaginary trip and do something other than posting.

 

I'm out of here for good.

[joselowe]

You should not go to the ER. This is not an immediate, life-threatening situation, which is what the ER is for, and I can't imagine they'd see you for something like this. You're already well past the 72-hour window to go on PEP, so time is no longer of the essence. Paranoia often ensues when people (especially gay men) fear they've had a potential HIV exposure, and that can lead to your brain playing pretty awful tricks on you. Go to your doctor, or a gay health clinic; explain the situation, and then follow their protocol. Again, best of luck to you.

You don't think the ER could give me more info and is there really no way to get on prep past the 3 day period? Even if it's not as effective I feel like I need something. I can talk to my PCP tomorrow but there's really nothing I can do today?

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Look guys, whether it's a legit thread or not—it COULD happen to someone and this is still the same advice I would give.

 

As far as the 72-hour window being "closed," I would go to the doctor immediately if there's cause for concern. It's up to the OP to ask for advice and then choose to follow it now, or whenever it's convenient, or not at all.

[Steven_Draker]

I recently went on vacation to a Caribbean country which is known for prostituition but also has a fairly high aids rate(about .1 percent higher than the US)

 

Independently of AIDS rates in that country, did you ask your masseur about his HIV status?

 

If there's a suspicion of condom breakage: you need to immediately talk to your sexual partner, evaluate the risks and take the appropriate measures. Right there on the spot!

 

Good luck with the tests, joselowe.

[joselowe]

Independently of AIDS rates in that country, did you ask your masseur about his HIV status?

 

If there's a suspicion of condom breakage: you need to immediately talk to your sexual partner, evaluate the risks and take the appropriate measures. Right there on the spot!

 

Good luck with the tests, joselowe.

Thank you I asked him and he claimed that it didn't break. Also this was in the Dominican Republic which has a poor health system I doubted that they had PEP or anything that could help. And as I said I checked twice and the condom was on (at least the end of the condom) but when he pulled out that leakage from my anus scared me. He claims it didn't pop but I don't know. He was quick to hide it for. Me and flush the condom down the toilet, so I don't know.

[joselowe]

Also I called up the local gay clinic in my area and they suggested that since I'm past 72 hours that I go to the ER

[Strafe13]

Also I called up the local gay clinic in my area and they suggested that since I'm past 72 hours that I go to the ER

 

Well, there you go. Although PEP is not recommended to be prescribed more than 72 hours after a potential exposure, perhaps this clinic knows that some medical providers will go through with it anyway. Now you have your answer, and I hope you follow the providers' directions, and everything turns out well for you.