Escorts: How is your "Boyfriend Experience" different from your Non-BFE?

[+ smara]

A very interesting topic indeed. The whole concept of "escort-client relationship" and friendship (BFE included) are not exactly mutually compatible. The former is purely a short term event involving payment by the client while the latter is friendship that evolves naturally between two mutually compatible people in general. If it involves sexual as well, we then qualify that as BF or GF etc. It must be realized by clients that offer of BFE by an escort is just a marketing strategy and is just a temporary illusion and I am sure that many successful escorts are very good in that role. I am sure that most clients understand this too. That is the whole reason why several of us (clients, including myself) have regular escorts that we feel comfortable with. I am sure that from an escort's point of view, there is very little difference between a regular and a sugar-daddy - may be the amount of "sugar" is all that is different. This is absolutely different from friendship and never to be confused with. When the client misses this demarcation, as several of you commented, it just leads to despair and unhealthy situations. I doubt if any escort ever sets up an appointment with the aim of finding a boyfriend.

 

The following article that appeared in NYT is quite interesting tp read in this context:

 

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/18/smarter-living/how-to-maintain-friends.html?recid=0zL8bUzvIo7PUmzbirhMx5cHTwI&sl_l=1&sl_rec=thompson_sample_dedup&contentCollection=smarter-living&mData=articles%255B%255D%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.nytimes.com%252F2018%252F01%252F18%252Fsmarter-living%252Fhow-to-maintain-friends.html%253Frecid%253D0zL8bUzvIo7PUmzbirhMx5cHTwI%2526sl_l%253D1%2526sl_rec%253Dthompson_sample_dedup%26articles%255B%255D%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.nytimes.com%252F2018%252F01%252F17%252Ftravel%252Fwinter-olympics-trip-planning.html%253Frecid%253D0zL8bUzvIo7PUmzbirhMx5cHTwI%2526sl_l%253D1%2526sl_rec%253Dthompson_sample_dedup&hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=smarterLiving-promo-region&region=smarterLiving-promo-region&WT.nav=smarterLiving-promo-region

[jjkrkwood]

Call me Old-fashioned, but unless you have a Boyfriend, its not a BFE.... No boyfriend of mine ever took $300 from me after I blew him, although a few times my creditcard went missing...

[+ freecahill1965]

Call me Old-fashioned, but unless you have a Boyfriend, its not a BFE.... No boyfriend of mine ever took $300 from me after I blew him, although a few times my creditcard went missing...

You are paying them to pretend to be your boyfriend. I hope that if he is only blowing you for $300 that he swallows.

[jjkrkwood]

You are paying them to pretend to be your boyfriend. I hope that if he is only blowing you for $300 that he swallows.

 

Dont get it twisted @freecahill, I ALWAYS do the blowing ! (and I swallow ONLY if he's nice !) :rolleyes:

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I like to have a couple weeks of advance notice for a boyfriend experience appointment, so that I'll have plenty of time to prepare and make it authentic. The first thing I do is stop going to the gym and eat ANYTHING I want, and twice as much. Nothing says "YOU'RE MY BF" like a few extra pounds.

 

It's fun to start the evening with dinner, somewhere cheap that we've been a couple dozen times, where we both order the same dishes and share them. We enjoy a minimum amount of conversation, afterall, over the course of 5 years together, there's little new and interesting to discuss. I give you a judgmental glare when you order your 3rd vodka tonic, because, we've talked about this.

 

When we get back to our place I complain that dinner is giving me gas and I'm really not up for having sex, "maybe in the morning" I say.

 

In the morning we still don't have sex. I say it's because I have places to be, but in truth it's because I don't feel respected because you're always leaving your dirty clothes right beside the hamper rather than putting them in it, and you don't ever offer to wash the dishes after I've made us a very adequate meal.

 

Anyway, that's how I roll, I enjoy authenticity.

 

 

On a serious note, though, I don't even think about BFE, I try to be as open and authentic as possible in all my times with clients.

[jjkrkwood]

I like to have a couple weeks of advance notice for a boyfriend experience appointment, so that I'll have plenty of time to prepare and make it authentic. The first thing I do is stop going to the gym and eat ANYTHING I want, and twice as much. Nothing says "YOU'RE MY BF" like a few extra pounds.

 

On a serious note, though, I don't even think about BFE, I try to be as open and authentic as possible in all my times with clients.

 

Not sure you can make a blanket statement like that ?. My BF was a gym rat, excercised, ate right and was impeccably groomed.... So you showing up pudgy wouldnt be MY BF exoperience. But probably more often than not, you'd be on target !

[Prettyboysyndrome]

@freecahill1965, i am amazed that you actually made some sense out of the post your replied you. I couldnt figure out WTF was going on there.. I just thought he was posting as the drugs kicked in ?

Fuck the entire fuck off if you dont get a titanic sinking metaphor your a complete idiot.humor is something i have sober just like being a cunt.im sweet on drugs however id od before i uttered a curteous syllable to you.you didnt get a titanic going down from lifeboats floating headboard.it referred to the dick can be great but if shit goes down i have my ride or die.i know a man who gave away a 6yr old lab for a man.lab was dead from a broken heart within a month.he wouldnt eat.as in a funny way to say a cute ass wont chsnge my priorities and my deal breaker is my pets.i prefer my humorous metaphor but since you cant refernce pop culture or fuckin history i bet the men beatva path to the man with profound asbergers.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Fuck the entire fuck off if you dont get a titanic sinking metaphor your a complete idiot.humor is something i have sober just like being a cunt.im sweet on drugs however id od before i uttered a curteous syllable to you.you didnt get a titanic going down from lifeboats floating headboard.it referred to the dick can be great but if shit goes down i have my ride or die.i know a man who gave away a 6yr old lab for a man.lab was dead from a broken heart within a month.he wouldnt eat.as in a funny way to say a cute ass wont chsnge my priorities and my deal breaker is my pets.i prefer my humorous metaphor but since you cant refernce pop culture or fuckin history i bet the men beatva path to the man with profound asbergers.

 

I really want to use the ignore button, but this a fascinating insight into a type of mind I have never before encountered, and so, I can’t...

 

Where can I buy what you are taking to sustain those amazing trips?

[Prettyboysyndrome]

Not sure you can make a blanket statement like that ?. My BF was a gym rat, excercised, ate right and was impeccably groomed.... So you showing up pudgy wouldnt be MY BF exoperience. But probably more often than not, you'd be on target !

If having a bf mskes someone fat they either both agree its as good as it gets or your eating your feelings.i thank jesus i gave ocd like a muthafucker i work out and diet harder knowing sex can happen anytime and if i dont get some gymnastics i feel like shit i like a crossfit session after but gymnastic s i love.thats my main form of workout i was 5"6, at 14 6"4 at 20 .so competitions are out but keeps you strong lean and flexible and there's nothing like a running triple backfilp and spring board into the air to make you feel like a kid like flying.i love it plus being flexible is important.i have to much chest and upper back to self suck without a warm up and someone to slowly push my head down but that little trick shows your a fun freak and i wont go into all the fun positions .i can form a perfect split in handstand someone stands over you sideways holy fuck talk about catching the holy ghost

[Prettyboysyndrome]

I really want to use the ignore button, but this a fascinating insight into a type of mind I have never before encountered, and so, I can’t...

 

Where can I buy what you are taking to sustain those amazing trips?

You mean sarcastic dry wit takes little intelligence mix with general air of superiority and being accustomed to saying whatever you want.if you cant tell it was meant to be a funny metaphor with lifeboats and frickin floating headboard it amused me to think of a particular scenario because i do soend alot of time on a large boat i can see me in the lifeboats loaded with my luggage and pets while the crew and whatever human cum towel im dating going down.i play i love you baby all day but in that situation which occurred to me because i have to put in my months i want mawmaws yacht in round first if january and nothing says getting real like a sinking ship so titanic imagery follows.is English not the native tongue of most has everyone on earth not seen titanic.if i have to dull my self to the point of not laughing at people asking what happens when i shit during sex or who is dying to fuck a fat roll and will the fact i shoot powdered cum im so old be an issue then my self amusement at a sinking ship and some dumb dna sample thinking they rank above my pets because i find my shit eating grin that says fuck off a triumph a cuntery funny not as funny as terets but funny no matter what i havent asked if poo is a mood killer.so me 1 you luv.balls in your your court and you serve and you foul when you realize yeah not so bad after all.i can be a bitch all day everyday but saying im on drugs isn't true till in about 6hrs when go out then ill be full as a tick do better try harder stop sucking at life youve Done it all wrong

With warmest regards may the new year bring you a well loved used fartbox of your dreams or tax bracket

Kisses

Edited January 19, 2018 by Prettyboysyndrome

[jjkrkwood]

I really want to use the ignore button, but this a fascinating insight into a type of mind I have never before encountered, and so, I can’t...

 

Where can I buy what you are taking to sustain those amazing trips?

 

I honestly CANT read posts without punctuation.... I dont know when to pause or take a breath

Edited January 19, 2018 by jjkrkwood

[BluDay]

Call me Old-fashioned, but unless you have a Boyfriend, its not a BFE

 

It's the "temporary" Experience of having a boyfriend, without having to actually have one. And since I hire men much better looking than I am, it's a great experience. I get a short-term "boyfriend" that really revs my gears.

 

I don't have to fight over who left underwear in the bathroom.

[HotWhiteThirties]

I am really impressed by all the positive comments on this thread and maybe a little surprised that so many of you do seem to understand the concept of falling in short-term love for the moment but being able to realize that after the session concludes, you can move on and get back to your own lives without being hung up on someone. An interactive mutually beneficial relationship with no strings.

 

Personally, I have found there are also a handful of escorts out there I've hired who continue our friendships off the clock, where they and I keep in touch but neither expects anything other than being good friends, with whatever that might entail for each individual!

 

TruHart1

 

Exactly, @TruHart1! I could not agree more. This has been my experience. Always discrete, but friendships...a brotherhood of sorts. Quite special, actually. And the boundaries are respected on both sides!

[LaffingBear]

Everyone has their own ideas and perceptions about what a BFE is and what it involves.

 

For that exact reason, I pay no attention to the term. I have no expectations of anything specific when I read that someone offers BFE.

 

I will ask about specifics. And, if I become a repeat customer, seeking lengthier appointments, I may specify an interest in additional behaviors - some things some people consider BFE behaviors.

[RyanTurner]

So, I rarely ever post my thoughts and always think about wanting to join in on some here and there...this particular thread is right up my alley. There are a lot of new names and faces (escorts) that I don't even know anymore, the "business" is in many ways completely unrecognizable especially how people interact now. I really despise the hook up apps...they've turned our community upside down even though meeting is easier than ever before. Unfortunately, it's killed interpersonal communication skills especially with kids who grew up with technology their entire life. Getting to my point there is something to be said about the BFE that I have enjoyed tremendously over the years since I began and that 's connecting. It was and has always been about authenticity for me personally. In my 30's as a gay man I have learned that communication and being authentic as opposed to being young and manipulative has always been the better choice. It's impossible to have a great time with anyone if you aren't enjoying the company of one another. I have always tried to extend the guys looking for an hour...because you can't truly get a valuable experience in and out (pun intended.) These encounters for me have nothing to do with past relationships. I was ALWAYS horrible at picking boyfriends out but as "Ryan" I had some of the most surprising experiences. The "how" do I prepare myself for this request has continuously evolved with age. Now, almost never do I like having conversations via email or text. If it makes a person feel more comfortable of course I am more than obliged but I would rather meet face to face in a hotel bar downstairs for a drink or in their living and start from there and if it doesn't work out well that's okay too. I think part of that is from the impersonal conversations it sometimes feels we are living in our day to day online and chat texts. If it doesn't work out in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone isn't better to just walk away and not hurt someone's feelings in my opinion...especially if there is no connection. Of course that being said we have all experienced emotionless sex and had a great one night stand. I don't pretend to be in my 20's any longer nor do I wish them back either. I love feeling comfortable in my own skin and experiencing deeper level connections much more. Sure, it can be fun every once in while but to me personally this is more enjoyable. However, one thing that lately has become taxing with the BFE are the situations when people fall in love and have to walk away. I made a commitment many years ago to myself that I would never intentionally hurt anyone with the kind of power that escorts can sometimes have over others. I wish we were all more capable of just enjoying the moment and not making such a big deal whether we can keep that person selfishly in our life beyond the present. I have always been grateful and appreciative of the small window of time that some have allowed me to occupy in for that moment whether it be a short lived or "longer" term.

Edited January 28, 2018 by RyanTurner

[TruHart1]

Exactly, @TruHart1! I could not agree more. This has been my experience. Always discrete, but friendships...a brotherhood of sorts. Quite special, actually. And the boundaries are respected on both sides!

It is very true, @HotWhiteThirties, but this sort of connection to these particular escorts for me is still relatively rare, thus making these guys even more special!

 

TruHart1

[HotWhiteThirties]

It is very true, @HotWhiteThirties, but this sort of connection to these particular escorts for me is still relatively rare, thus making these guys even more special!

 

TruHart1

 

I think we’re agreed. There are different levels of connection - some that are brief and some that seem to last beyond the time spent. For the most part, I’ve felt some sort of connection “in the moment” that makes it more worthwhile. But as you say, there are those connections that are truly special - more transcendent- which are quite rare.

[LADoug1]

Carrying the love past the appointment is called "heartache."

 

I agree except I’d say it is a potential heartache.