Trends

[luvsrubs]

Well, when I posted the topic "confused about custom" several days ago, I got my answer and some very good opinions. That got me thinking. The "custom" thing is fairly new and evolving. As is this weird thing of "verification" videos which I don't understand especially when the video looks nothing like the pics. So where I'm going with this is to wonder if it might be worth discussing what other "trends" fellow massage lovers have noticed or encountered recently. Maybe there aren't any, but thought I'd throw out the topic and see if anyone had any ideas. Oh and for someone like myself who has to be very mindful of the cost, it seems to me massage costs in NYC like the rents just keep going and going . Thanks in advance. Any necessary pm's always welcomed.

[+ beethoven]

You don't have to spend $150 on a massage to get a good one, and that includes erotic massages. Lysander, who has advertised on M4M for years, charges $70, and knows what he's doing. Interesting guy. His apartment on west 47th (?) Street is very small, but he gives a good massage, and knows what's between a client's legs. I'll PM you with other suggestions.

[RyanDean]

I don't know if this counts as a trend but I have no idea how to sift through so many different massage sites. I've been following things on M4M and MFinder for a good while, have sniffed around Backpage from time to time, and only recently started tracking RentMasseur & Manworks...and then there are all the personal webpages.

 

Through it all, I've become a bit overwhelmed.

So many euphemisms. So many hint-hints. So many reports of hidden upcharges.

What's a newbie to do?

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

What's a newbie to do?

 

Great question. It took me quite a while of shopping before first hiring. I was rather shy about ever verbalizing what I wanted.

 

Sounds like either you travel or are in one of the metropolitan areas with very guys advertising. If so, my recommendation is hire a guy that directly states something you are hoping to encounter. For me, I found an ad the stated the session would start with nude massage and the last 10 minutes would be oral play. I felt I didn't need to say anything.

 

Since then, if I read between the lines that mutual touch or oral would be included, I will ask when I call for an appointment.

[RyanDean]

Thanks, SamF.

I took the hiring plunge on the escort side well before I considered the massage side in part because of the forthrightness on RB/RM/M4R. But, given my interests, I'm now realizing that I might do as well (and get a different bang for my buck) with massage guys. And, better and worse, it's a whole new world!

[corndog]

To a great extent, I enjoy not knowing what's coming, or how sexual a massage is going to get. So, I often don't ask specifically what's in store. In many cases, I don't think that asking will yield a reliable answer anyway -- in many cases, I think it depends on the chemistry, and a masseur won't really commit ahead of time. I go in with an open mind; if I get a great massage I'm happy, if I get a fun sexual experience I'm happy, if I get both then I've hit the jackpot.

 

There are certainly many clues available that can help tune your expectations. In my experience, no one who is serious about massage will do it on a bed. If the masseur is using a table, they're more likely to be a good masseur, but might be pretty sexual, too. A masseur who uses a table has a lot more control over the erotic aspects of the massage. They can position their bodies to rub up against your hands to initiate contact, or they can position themselves out-of-reach. A massage that takes place on a bed is very likely to be more of a "body rub" that quickly evolves into something more sexual.

 

You can sometimes tell a lot from their pricing. If someone is charging $200/hr or more there is either sex involved, or they're a rip-off. Some masseurs advertise separate rates for therapeutic vs. sensual/erotic massage. That's usually not a very good sign, but if they're upfront about it, I'll usually tolerate it. On the other hand, if they seem to have "a la carte" pricing, I avoid them for two reasons: First, I feel like I'm being hustled. And, second, putting a price tag on each service makes me feel like they don't really want to do it, and, for me, destroys the illusion of mutual pleasure.

[corndog]

A couple more thoughts:

 

Manworks.com is, in my opinion, highly suspect. It's operated by Rentboy, and I'm pretty sure that they offer escorts the opportunity to supplement their Rentboy ads with free or heavily-discounted ads on Manworks. By doing this, they're encouraging escorts who have no massage skills whatsoever to post a massage ad. I've contacted a couple of guys who had advertisements on Manworks who seemed confused that I actually wanted a massage.

 

I've run across a few ads for Masseurs who offer a rate for a 30 minute session. In my opinion, no serious masseur would offer a 30 minute session. In fact, for a real massage, I think that 60 minutes is cutting it short, and 90 minutes is needed. So, when I see a masseur offering at 30 minute session, I assume that they're all about sex.

[RyanDean]

I go in with an open mind; if I get a great massage I'm happy, if I get a fun sexual experience I'm happy, if I get both then I've hit the jackpot.

 

I love this approach, corndog. Makes total sense.

[luvsrubs]

Terrific responses and thoughtful advice as always. It's what makes this such a great place for information and opinion. I hope if someone senses a new "trend" for want of a better word that perhaps this will be a revivable thread. In the meantime, thanks for all the great thoughts and ideas.