Narc for No Reply?

[RPCny]

I spent last week in New York and hired for the first time (actually, three times). I'll be posting my reviews shortly. I was, unfortunately, unable to hire my first choice because I couldn't reach him. He is someone who has universally positive reviews. I sent him an email a few days before my arrival and then I texted him on the day of my arrival alerting him as to my email. In the email I inquired as to his comfort working with chubs and I made sure to give him an easy out, via the email, telling him I completely understood if he wanted to pass. The email was sent on a Friday; the text on a Sunday. When he didn't respond to either, I thought he might be out-of-town or something like that. Ce'st la vie.

 

Later that week, when I was perusing ads on Rentmen, I saw that he'd signed into his profile a few hours previously. That doesn't say anything other than the fact that he was tending to business on some level. All this to say that I was pissed that he didn't have the courtesy to simply reply and say, "No, thanks." I had three good experiences last week and there are plenty of great guys out there and so many more to be met. But something keeps tugging at me about this. So the query is: Should I post a "review" about his not responding to my inquiries or should I just get over it and move on?

[maninsoma]

Just get over it and move on.

[adriano46]

RPCny - there are many fish in the sea, and if a guy decides not to answer me - especially after a few notes from me - I simply move on (as others here will probably also advise you). Sometimes the best experiences are not those with guys who carry the weight of stellar reviews, but that guy you meet by chance and who really does respond to your needs and creates just that positive experience you seek - and that is what you should concentrate on. The guy who passed you up -- beh into the dustbin.

[big-n-tall]

First don't take it personally... especially if the guy never responded to you.

 

There could be a myriad of reasons he didn't back to you. So stop stressing over it. It does you no good and the escort doesn't know what you're feeling (unless he's clairvoyant LOL!).

More importantly, you said you had an enjoyable time with other escorts. Why let a "no response" from one particular escort ruin those fun memories.

 

And you can't post a review about an encounter that never happened. Let it go.

 

...just my two cents. :-)

[bigvalboy]

I don't know how much hiring you have done, but you will find that this is more common than you think. It is irritating being rejected in that manner, and regardless how you analyze the situation, these sorts of things always happen, even with escorts that are well reviewed, so always have a plan B, which it sounds like you did.

[tsgarp]

As others have said in other ways above me, this is profoundly normal.

[rvwnsd]

I agree with the others: get over it and move on. However, I would like to add something. In your original post you mentioned you "...inquired as to his comfort working with chubs and I made sure to give him an easy out, via the email, telling him I completely understood if he wanted to pass." In my opinion, labeling yourself as a "chub" and stating you would understand if he chose to take a pass on being hired by you should be avoided. I've never met you, but I can tell you that you are not a "chub." I buy cat food and ground meat in a chub. The chub of ground turkey can't talk, doesn't think, and doesn't feel. You are a person. If you feel compelled to mention your physical stature when hiring, simply state your stats. That being said, there is a myriad of reasons he did not reply and they could be completely unrelated to you. He might have been busy, intended to reply and forgot, thought he hit "send" and didn't, or decided that for him not replying was a more favorable option than saying "hey thanks for your interest but I don't work with 'chubs'."

 

 

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey my man,

 

First of all, congratulations on having three consecutive great experiences! Three out of three...That sounds like a great trip to me!

 

Now, about this specific escort, I am going to go further than the other responses. Not only get over it and move on, but actually dance, sing and celebrate the fact that you dodged a bullet, avoided a bad situation and saved yourself some money. You wisely gave him a way out and he took it. My guess is that you did reach him, as you made several attempts, so his lack of response was his own inelegant way of answering.

 

You are one lucky man!

 

How many have been put in a situation where the escort is simply annoyed, going through the motions and thinking about the money! If you feel annoyed by his lack of response, chances are that you would have felt humiliated and really, really bad if you had met.

 

Because you were clear in your communication you were spared that terrible fate. Sure, it's sad you won't be able to have sex with that specific guy (the body wants what the body wants) but chances are sex with him would have not been as fun as you may have expected it to be.

 

And no, you can't post a review. And why would you? You clearly were not a match, you didn't meet. What do you think would have been better? Had he met you even if he knew in advance he would have not been able to give you the stellar service you expected, or had he told you "No, I'm not into meeting you, we would have a lousy time."? It's a no win situation either way, but the way it was handled (as annoying as it might be not getting an answer) you were spared and were able to move on to better situations. The way it played out, you did win; you met other men and had an awesome time.

 

In my mind, you did the right thing. He -albeit inelegantly- tried to do the same. This sounds to me like a happy ending story.

[Steven_Draker]

... dance, sing and celebrate the fact that you dodged a bullet, avoided a bad situation

 

Really? You all *assumed* what the reason for the lack of response might be, however you're not in that escort's shoes.

 

Easy with the speculations.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

i’m going to sit by the fire in my 50º apartment (I forgot to turn the heat on before going to NYC this past weekend—oops), and have a nice glass of Stephen Vancouver, which is a nice blend of sweet, savory, bitter and acidic.

 

First off, don’t be an apologist. You are what you are and when describing yourself you should write “I’m a big guy” or “I’m black” or “I’m married and closeted” and leave it at that. Tell me what you like. Tell me what you want. I don’t need to hear that you’re sorry, or that it’s okay and “you understand” if I’m repulsed by you. Please don’t try to read my mind—if you insist you’ll need to get in line behind all the other people who think they’re too old, skinny, bald, hairy, and the myriad of other qualities that people put themselves down for and assume I’ll hate. Just don’t be an asshole. That’s a deal-breaker.

 

Second, don’t assume this guy rejected you out of hand because you’re big. From the information you provided, we don’t know how the communication between the two of you was conducted. I ask people to give me an email and a phone number. I require multiple ways to reach someone because one way might not work. I have clients who transpose characters in an email address. I have clients who are vague. I have someone who has contacted me 20 times and never answers my follow-up email. There’s no phone number, so I finally just blocked his address. Maybe it goes to spam, maybe he chickens out, maybe he contacts multiple people and I’m always too late in my response. To me, two ways = I. Am. Probably. Serious. About. Meeting.

 

So before you assume you “dodged a bullet” do a couple of things. Examine the language that you used to contact him. Look back at his ad and see if you tried contacting him in a way he asked not to be contacted. And maybe cut him some slack and assume that he was unavailable for one reason or another, missed your email/text combo and figured it was probably too late to contact you. He might have been going out of town the next day. And yes—it’s always a possibility that he was tired, sick, dying, or just didn’t feel like meeting up. You had a great time with the other guys. Focus on that, but learn from the other experience too.

 

Spend your time writing three reviews and be detailed about the experiences. It gets old reading posts on the forum about what escorts do wrong—whether it's marketing or attitude or whatever. You just pulled off a hat trick. We want to hear all about that.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Er, Steven Vancouver. It won't let me correct my post.

[namchebaz]

RPCny,

The lesson I'm still trying to learn everyday is that when I choose to give someone a break and assume the best in them, I'm usually happier. It doesn't really matter if they deserved the benefit of the doubt or not. If you can't do that, (and sometimes I can't either), then I hope you can at least acknowledge that it made you feel disappointed, forget about writing a bad review, then make the choice to turn your back on all that and focus on what sounds like some really good stuff that happened during your visit. Life's too good to waste your energy on bad shit. Take care!

[Juan Vancouver]

Er, Steven Vancouver. It won't let me correct my post.

 

I am sure that neither Steven nor I take offence on the typo.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

offence

 

You and your fancy foreign spelling.

[Amoco]

Dear RPC...those are all beautiful sentiments offered above, but I would disagree with the recommendation to just be celebrating....First, I agree with Chris that you shouldn't be an apologist, but I also don't think this had anything to do with your size. I think/know it happens a lot, and though you should be pleased that you had 3 great experiences, the other guy will probably continue to be disrespectful and neglectful of potential clients. You can't write a review but you can certainly mention that you tried so and so and he didn't respond after an email, a text and 72 hours. Everybody else may think it's not a big deal, but I can certainly sympathize with your frustration - especially with a very well reviewed guy. I now make it a rule to move on if I don't hear something back from an inquiry after 24 hours. I may send a text and email in case of SPAM, but after that, I stay centered and move on. But I also think it's OK to say something in the Forum. Good escorts shouldn't treat people that way and don't deserve that kind of reputation if they do. Of course, emergencies and other tragedies happen, too, but after nothing for days, it's disrespect. This whole notion of "cutting the poor guy some slack" would make sense if he eventually contacted you and at least sounded remorseful. But nothing after weeks? why would you cut a well reviewed escort that level of slack? What possible circumstance would make it acceptable to never respond to a potential client, in this case a newbie who was feeling self conscious to begin with? Chris was right to tell you to not be an apologist for your size. The flip side of this is not being an apologist for another professional's UNprofessional behavior. The outcome was good, but I feel for you in the sense that you had to deal with the worry that you were being rejected. That DOES deserve attention and the escort does deserves to hear that so that it may never happen again. this notion that an unanswered text or email repeatedly not being responded to is a completely benign event is ridiculous - particularly in this business. It's not equivalent to Ebola, but it matters...

[Steven_Draker]

and have a nice glass of Stephen Vancouver

 

Be careful with that cru, you can get quickly drunk.

[RPCny]

Geez, guys, thanks for all the responses. I didn't expect my little dilemma to stir such a dialogue. First, I didn't take it personally and it's now well in my rear-view mirror. I wasn't being an apologist about my size, but merely informing him of it to make sure it wasn't an issue on his end. I was actually being self-interested, to ensure that I had a first-rate experience. I actually referred to myself as "fat". I'm one of those "reclaim the word to empower yourself" kind of guys. I'm comfortable with myself. I'd been out of circulation for a while and moved out of the city up to the vast sexual wasteland of the Hudson Valley. I am, indeed, new to hiring and had only had sex with "chubby chasers" who find me wildly attractive . My goal in providing, perhaps, TMI was to make sure that my re-entry was going to be with a guy who was not only a pro at sex, but who was going to provide as close as I could find -- within reason -- a sexual experience that was similar to what I was used to -- obviously like the more memorable, earth-shaking ones. It seemed that to do so I needed to be upfront as to my size since I know that it can be an issue for some guys.

 

Second, what was gnawing at me was primarily a professional issue. I found it highly unprofessional that someone who was an experienced, well-established, well-reviewed escort wouldn't bother to just drop a two word, "No. thanks". And to someone's query, yes, I double-checked the address and phone number. That's just how I roll and why I was sure to do my due diligence before making my hiring selections. As one of my hires noted, there are just so many fly-by-night guys floating in and out of the industry that forums like these play an invaluable role in making worthwhile choices. Most of us aren't rolling in cash so I can imagine a lot of money has been saved by reading these reviews and forum postings. So, many thanks to Daddy and to all of you for your comments and postings on the main board and here.

[Juan Vancouver]

I wasn't being an apologist about my size, but merely informing him of it to make sure it wasn't an issue on his end. I was actually being self-interested, to ensure that I had a first-rate experience. I actually referred to myself as "fat". I'm one of those "reclaim the word to empower yourself" kind of guys. I'm comfortable with myself. I'd been out of circulation for a while and moved out of the city up to the vast sexual wasteland of the Hudson Valley. I am, indeed, new to hiring and had only had sex with "chubby chasers" who find me wildly attractive . My goal in providing, perhaps, TMI was to make sure that my re-entry was going to be with a guy who was not only a pro at sex, but who was going to provide as close as I could find -- within reason -- a sexual experience that was similar to what I was used to -- obviously like the more memorable, earth-shaking ones. It seemed that to do so I needed to be upfront as to my size since I know that it can be an issue for some guys.

 

That is so beautiful to read. I am very happy that you are comfortable with who you are and know that you are wildly attractive to some. Exactly the same applies to all of us, we can't be liked by all and therefore it just seems logical to want to be intimate with those who will find us wildly attractive.

 

I for one applaud your openness and self-acceptance and wish you to meet with wonderful men who understand how wonderful you are. Yes, I hope you have a fucking hot time every time.

 

Big hug!

 

Juan