I Fucked Up Big Time

[Guest mondo]

I had mentioned a while back that there is this young Asian twink who for lack of better words seems to like to be around me in and out of bed and as many of u know I tend to over analyze this. So, we planned our first weekend trip and then I really messed things up.

 

I felt it would be a bad idea to spend a weekend together because I didn't want to ruin what I currently have. That being spending a day or so a week with him or him spending the night with me once in a while. I just felt if I did go through with the trip he would tire of me .. and I don't want to lose him.

 

I made up a lie about having to work this weekend and cancelled the trip. When I called to tell him he was disappointed. He mentioned he was really planning on going with me. I hate myself right now for fucking up the only positive thing happening in my life. Everytime I am around him I feel great and have fun, now I think that is gone too.

 

Any ideas on how I can make this up to him?

[Guest mondo]

I had mentioned a while back that there is this young Asian twink who for lack of better words seems to like to be around me in and out of bed and as many of u know I tend to over analyze this. So, we planned our first weekend trip and then I really messed things up.

 

I felt it would be a bad idea to spend a weekend together because I didn't want to ruin what I currently have. That being spending a day or so a week with him or him spending the night with me once in a while. I just felt if I did go through with the trip he would tire of me .. and I don't want to lose him.

 

I made up a lie about having to work this weekend and cancelled the trip. When I called to tell him he was disappointed. He mentioned he was really planning on going with me. I hate myself right now for fucking up the only positive thing happening in my life. Everytime I am around him I feel great and have fun, now I think that is gone too.

 

Any ideas on how I can make this up to him?

[jack]

Forget it. There is nothing to make up. Your basic instincts are usually correct. Don't worry. We all do things that we second guess ourselves on. You've still got a real nice guy who wants to be with you. Take is easy on yourself.

[jack]

Forget it. There is nothing to make up. Your basic instincts are usually correct. Don't worry. We all do things that we second guess ourselves on. You've still got a real nice guy who wants to be with you. Take is easy on yourself.

[Guest random]

If he is an escort then you probably should pay him part of his fee. If he is just a friend then what is the big deal? He might not be happy about you cancelling the trip but I'm sure he'll get over it.

 

Don't worry so much about it. Just move forward.

[VaHawk]

>I felt it would be a bad idea to spend a weekend together

>because I didn't want to ruin what I currently have. That

>being spending a day or so a week with him or him spending the

>night with me once in a while. I just felt if I did go through

>with the trip he would tire of me .. and I don't want to lose

>him.

 

WOW! You really need to gain some self-confidence! If you had any doubts about this escort, they should have been consigned to the dustbin a long time ago! He is okay with spending a whole day/overnight with you, and if he found you boring then he would have

limited those encounters to a 1 or 2 hour session.

 

>I made up a lie about having to work this weekend and

>cancelled the trip. When I called to tell him he was

>disappointed. He mentioned he was really planning on going

>with me. I hate myself right now for fucking up the only

>positive thing happening in my life. Everytime I am around him

>I feel great and have fun, now I think that is gone too.

 

First off, look in the damn mirror and realize that you have YOU going for YOU, and that nobody else can nor should be required to give you meaning and self-esteem.

 

None of this changes the fact that you treated this esort way, way unfairly! IMO, if you apologize to this escort and honestly admit your peccadillos, then you have a very good chance to continue a relationship with him.

[Guest mondo]

Guys I should have been more clear about the guy I fucked things up with. He happens to escort but I met him under different circumstances, never paid him, never offered him any money and he has never asked for any. Sorry for any confusion.

 

There is a thread I started about a month ago called Hard To Understand and in that thread I explain more about him and how I cannot believe he might just like being around me. Most of the people in that thread told me to stop analyizing the situation and enjoy it. But it is hard for me to keep accepting this .. and now I went and really messed things up by cancelling the trip and just don't want to lose him and hope that he will still come by to visit.

[KY_TOP]

>Any ideas on how I can make this up to him?

>

 

Be honest with him and explain your feelings behind your real reason. If you care about HIM, you'll be honest with him.

[guptasa1]

Here's my honest advice and what I hope I'd do in the situation. It's going to take a lot of courage, but at least think about it. Give him a call and tell him you'd still like to see him in person this weekend (or sometime when you can), preferably in a private place. Then when you see him (here comes the hard part), TALK to him. Tell him why you cancelled the trip (and that you're sorry)...how afraid you are...and how you feel about him - just be honest. If he cares about you, he'll understand and work things out with you. The fact that he sounded disappointed that the trip was cancelled should tell you something - that he ENJOYS spending time with you!

 

I know you're afraid of messing things up with him, but if you don't talk with him and try to make things better, I think it'll be far, FAR worse (Look at how bad you feel already!). Trying and getting turned down or left isn't fun, and it sounds like you have abandonment issues (I can relate). But even worse is not trying and never knowing what could have been. Stop torturing and blaming yourself - if you care about this guy, talk to him and work this out. There's always next weekend or at least sometime in the future to plan a trip. But please don't get so afraid of failing that you don't give yourself a chance to succeed either!

 

It sounds to me like things are NOT irreparably messed up, but if this KEEPS happening, they could get there eventually. Don't let that happen, and good luck!

[theDCeBOY]

dude, before you think about making anything up to anyone else, you need to seek some serious fucking treatment.

[theDCeBOY]

my previous post may seem unduly harsh, but didn't you just post about your gambling problem? you need a psychiatrist badly. you're half a step from what a catholic would call the Unforgiveable Sin.

 

yeah, i just diagnosed online, but come on... the guy needs help!

[TotallyOz]

KY- You give good advice! Honesty is the best thing in this situation. Perhaps a few dozen roses with would also help.

[Huey]

I just finished reading and replying to your gambling thread and come onto this thread now. It seems as if you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself and what you want.

 

This twink that you stood up probably enjoys being with you and if he didn't I'm sure by now you would know. Try to think clearly for a minute about why would anybody want to sleep with someone if they didn't want to or have good cause to such as some type of financial gain. It doesn't sound from your post that this young guy is under any unusual stress that he must be with you ...just enjoy it don't analyze it .

[Guest mondo]

Sad to say I think I pushed my twink pal away once too many times. He has chatted with me online and says not a problem but hasn't called me since I fucked up. Somehow I guess I deserved this though I do miss him alot.

[theDCeBOY]

i hate to seem insensitive, but you're obviously craving attention and sympathy. do something about your problems (please note the plural status of that noun!) and you might actually get some.

[guptasa1]

Seriously, man, and I don't mean to sound harsh, if you keep pushing him away and don't explain things to him, HE might get the idea YOU don't really want him around, and that won't be his fault. Don't make assumptions - if you really want this, get up the courage and talk to him about it and let him know exactly what's happened. I know it's hard, but if it's important to you, do it - you yourself are indicating you don't have a lot to lose at this point. And if you still can't, as others pointed out, you need to get some help. Please do it.