How to ask if a guy is a "druggie?"

[corndog]

So, let's say, generally speaking, that I have an eye on a guy's online advertisement, and it indicates "occasional" drug use, or "drug use: socially."

 

I'd like to be nonjudgmental about the way a person conducts the rest of their lives, when I'm not doing business with them, but I don't want to find myself in a situation where the drugs are influencing my encounter, or the need/desire to get their next fix is part of the scenario. I appreciate that they've perhaps been honest by listing occasional use in their profile.

 

In an ideal world, I could simply ask "Are you a drug addict?" but I'm pretty sure, in the real world, I wouldn't believe their answer. So, I'm wondering if anyone has any strategies for ferreting out this information without tainting the whole interaction with a cloud of mistrust. Saying, for example, "I'm afraid you're a drug addict. Convince me that you're not." to a potential hire seems unlikely to be productive.

 

(I'm sure that some of you will suggest running the other way if there is even the slightest hint of PNP or drug use, and I think that is wise advice, but for the sake of this discussion, let's just say that I've considered my options, and I'm not quite ready to exclude this guy yet.)

[Steven_Draker]

So, I'm wondering if anyone has any strategies for ferreting out this information without tainting the whole interaction with a cloud of mistrust.

 

Occasional and social drug use mentioned in the escort profile means that the escort is open to party and play (PNP) with clients.

 

Two strategies: Pretend that you're into "partying" and ask him "What do you party?" ... Be prepared for straightforward answer OR

 

Ignore (if you can) the part that he uses drugs socially/occasionally and take your chances, if you say that you're not quite ready to exclude him yet. You can mention that you're not into PNP and you don't want your encounter being influenced by his drug use.

 

Ask others in the Forum about possible negative experiences.

[maninsoma]

I don't think asking "Are you a drug addict?" serves any purpose. If you want to hire someone who indicates he uses drugs occasionally or socially in his ad and you want to make sure his drug use is not going to impact your appointment (i.e., he won't be under the influence when you're with him), then I think it would be best to simply request that and see how the escort responds.

[Guest]

To put it more broadly, asking someone "Are you a drug addict?" will never lead to a productive answer with anyone. Very few people would ever describe themselves as addicts, even if they do drugs regularly. OK, once in my professional career, I had someone describe himself as a "functional addict." Men who do stimulants (methamphetamines, cocaine, ecstasy) tend to lose their ability to sustain erections over time. Those who do opioids tend to note drops in testosterone levels/sex drive. Of course, smoking cigarettes will harm erections, too. I hired a guy last year who was in his 30s and a prior meth user (and smoker). He needed to inject his penis in order to get erections, and even then...

[adriano46]

I don't think asking "Are you a drug addict?" serves any purpose. If you want to hire someone who indicates he uses drugs occasionally or socially in his ad and you want to make sure his drug use is not going to impact your appointment (i.e., he won't be under the influence when you're with him), then I think it would be best to simply request that and see how the escort responds.

 

I generally PASS over any escort who openly states he uses drugs either occasionally or socially, or writes PNP in his ad. If, for some reason I am so interested that even this does not (yet) make me pass, I mention to him in the initial conversation my aversion to guys who use drugs (I am very open asking about that, as others are about BB or smoking or scat or other matters). If he has a problem with my request that no drugs be used before, or during the encounter, then I thank him but move on to someone else.

[rvwnsd]

...In an ideal world, I could simply ask "Are you a drug addict?" but I'm pretty sure, in the real world, I wouldn't believe their answer. ...

 

You could still ask that question in our non-ideal world, but you would not receive the information you desire. Based on what you stated in your post, you want to know the extent to which the escort uses drugs. That is the question you need to ask, followed by a statement about your desire for the experience to remain drug-free. Then see what he says to that.