Terms Of Endearment- Yea or Nay

[Okliehomo]

Funny what works and what doesn't.

 

I rarely feel comfortable calling an escort by anything but his escort name. Of course, I know all their real names because of needing it to buy the plane tickets, but it seems presumptuous to use them, like we are somehow friends, or that this is somehow more than a business transaction. Now, this is not to say, that I don't genuinely like some of the guys that have been out here, especially those that I have known so long and have been out here so many times. But Kristian could never be anything but Kristian, because when he is here, he is here in that capacity. When he emails me privately, that's different. Or when Mark/Chicago retired and wanted to stay in touch, he used his real email and we are friends on FB, same with Marco Feretti and Ace Banner. FB is always asking me if I know a certain name and while I do, I would never ask to be their friend and presume to be welcome in their real lives.

 

But that's just me and my need to not blur the lines.

[Professor Mitch]

"It just doesn't feel right to me. Maybe if I were in a relationship and in love I wouldn't mind so much. But I doubt that is ever really going to happen."

 

Somehow I think the issue with Terms of Endearment lies more with the receiver than the giver, and is more tied in with your overall sour view of yourself and the world than anything specific. Life is hard I know...we all need to be a little kinder to each other, and to ourselves. And when someone calls me baby at my age, I just smile and follow...

[Steven_Draker]

his "real life" friends use just makes me feel that much closer to him ... which, in turn, means that when I call him "Baby," I'm feeling real affection.

 

That comment strikes me as rather naive.

 

Are people that gullible that you can make them believe whatever BS you want?

 

You're looking for love and affection all in the wrong places, 'baby'.

[big-n-tall]

I don't mind terms of endearment from people I know and know well. If some random person says it, I tend not to acknowledge them, unless its from an southerner (especially an older southerner). :-)

 

I have been called countless variations on my name, as a term of endearment, by relatives and friends.

 

On a purely sexual level, I've been called daddy, baby, babe, and baby boy.

[+ Gar1eth]

Escorts frequently call me "babe" or "sexy" man. I don't believe 'em for a minute, but I enjoy the affectionate expressions.

 

I want the escort I'm with to be friendly with me. But aside from not liking a term like 'babe', I'd like the interaction to be as true as can be. For example, if I liked opera but the escort didnt. I wouldn't want to plan seeing an opera with him faking that he loved it. Or let's go with me not being a great lover, I think in most situations I'm ok- maybe- but I don't want the escort acting as if I'm the best lover he's ever been with. That level of fantasy I don't need. I want to do my best to make him feel good. But a Kristian, Arek or a Rick Munroe, I'm never going to be.

 

Gman

[+ quoththeraven]

My prior response didn't consider the use of terms of endearment during sex because I've never used them then nor have I been with someone who has. Descriptive or directive words, I've heard and said those; references to God, yes, but no endearments and no nicknames except for one guy I went out in college with who nicknamed his penis Ichabod.

 

FWIW, I think "lover" is as much a description (and an accurate one) as a term of endearment. As such, that's one I wouldn't mind.

[+ Charlie]

My prior response didn't consider the use of terms of endearment during sex because I've never used them then nor have I been with someone who has. Descriptive or directive words, I've heard and said those; references to God, yes, but no endearments and no nicknames except for one guy I went out in college with who nicknamed his penis Ichabod.

 

FWIW, I think "lover" is as much a description (and an accurate one) as a term of endearment. As such, that's one I wouldn't mind.

It is interesting how completely "lover" seems to have disappeared from gay lingo as a descriptor. In my gay youth (1960s and 70s), "lover" was the standard term used to describe someone with whom one had an acknowledged permanent relationship. Now it seems to have been replaced by "partner" or "boyfriend."

[Griffondog]

It is interesting how completely "lover" seems to have disappeared from gay lingo as a descriptor. In my gay youth (1960s and 70s), "lover" was the standard term used to describe someone with whom one had an acknowledged permanent relationship. Now it seems to have been replaced by "partner" or "boyfriend."

 

Or, ever increasingly, the description we use: "husband."

[+ Charlie]

Since "husband" and "wife" have such stereotyped role connotations, I am never really comfortable using them for same sex couples. At our wedding, the script used by the county official pronounced us "spouses for life," so I call him my "spouse."

[Frankly Rich]

But, he calls me dear.

[+ Gar1eth]

I really thought the voting on here would skew more my way- or maybe at least achieve close to a 50/50. But I was wrong again. I think it shows I'm not a typical gay male- as if we didnt already know that from my other posts. It's difficult being different from those you should be more in step with. I sure as heck don't really seem to be similar to most straight guys. I may have to continue to be 'an army of one'.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

Since "husband" and "wife" have such stereotyped role connotations, I am never really comfortable using them for same sex couples. At our wedding, the script used by the county official pronounced us "spouses for life," so I call him my "spouse."

 

Is it true the plural of spouse is spice?

 

Gman

[+ Charlie]

Is it true the plural of spouse is spice?

 

Gman

Not unless the plural of house is hice.

 

Actually, I like the Italian words better: sposo/sposa/sposi.