Escorts: if you introduced a friend to a client, would you allow this?

[JoeyBryant]

Last week, I went against the 1 thing I always knew by instinct to never do: introduce any of my friends to a client and vice versa.

 

The way it all happened is a bit crazy, but I'd met the client online in another city. However, I had my buddy come along with me on this trip, something I've also never done with him. Long story short, the time came around to meet the client at his place. My friend and I were almost on our way out of the city that day, when the client called to let me know he wanted to meet up with me.

 

My friend and I decided to part ways, so I could meet with the client. I told my friend that I needed to be able to 'sell' myself to the client (a 1st timer for me) on my own, without his interference...even though the client seemed totally cool with (eager) with idea of a 3 way. However, I knew better because my friend isn't an escort, and I didn't want to mess up my gratuity and possibly the whole session, by throwing someone else in the mix who may or may not have wanted or been able to, perform. My friend also asks everytime I see a client, "was he hot?" After the session, I ended up introducing the client to my friend. It happened because the client had a guest suite available, which was originally meant for ME to stay in, since I was traveling and not near a major city. However, my friend and the client connected pretty well...platonically on my friend's end. From what I know it was nothing sexual or overly-intimate. I don't believe my friend received any donation out of this.

 

The next morning, they exchanged numbers. Since then, they've been chatting and texting each other...and my friend is trying to capitalize off of my client. But he's going about it in a very in-efficacious sort of way: he's trying to get the client to 'find him a better job' in that area, and to possibly even LIVE with him, so he can 'get on his feet'. Despite the client offering to do all of these things, my friend just told me today all he did was send him job POSTINGS. Something he already knows he could do on his own.

 

I've been telling my friend repeatedly, to not take up on any offer from this client to help him out, and stop responding to his correspondence. For one, he's not going to help him out. And 2, he would have no business moving in with him...because the client is going to expect sex, which my friend made clear to me, he is NOT willing to do. And on top of it all, if things go sour...I pretty much lose a client if I decide to return to that area. I don't know if I'm wrong to be a little annoyed, or should I just let them carry on. I haven't spoken to the client about this, but I have been telling my friend he doesn't need to be having everyday conversations with this guy, expecting ANYTHING from him, even if he's offering it. I'm not saying I'm jealous, that I feel I own the client, or my friend is forbidden from speaking to him, but it's pretty clear my friend wants 1 thing, and the client wants another. That's why he was willing to give me a donation for what he wants. I think they are both trying to fluff each other up, to get what they want. My client could end up getting hurt, and my friend getting burnt.

[rvwnsd]

...I'm not saying I'm jealous, that I feel I own the client, or my friend is forbidden from speaking to him, but it's pretty clear my friend wants 1 thing, and the client wants another. That's why he was willing to give me a donation for what he wants. I think they are both trying to fluff each other up, to get what they want. My client could end up getting hurt, and my friend getting burnt.

 

It sounds like you are upset by this chain of events and, I think, rightfully so. Had your friend and the client simply exchanged numbers and contacted one another with more reasonable frequency I would think differently. However, it sounds like both guys have ulterior motives and will be pretty pissed off when they learn that neither one gets what he wants. They might even be pissed off at you, which does not sound reasonable. Had I been the client, I would have exchanged pleasantries and left it at that.

[jgoo]

You've expressed your concerns and reservations about the whole thing to your friend so unless he continues to seek your counsel, leave it at that. The client and your friend are big boys so they have to live with the consequences of their choices, which will also effect you as a result of having them met. You may lose the client and that is just the cost associated with the lesson learned to avoid this type of situation (client meeting friend) in the future.

[jimboivyo]

You're all adults, right?

 

You opted to introduce them, so this was your bad.

 

They have every right to do whatever they want. it sounds as if you're just scared that this other guy will take your client away from being paid time spent.

[JoeyBryant]

It sounds like you are upset by this chain of events and, I think, rightfully so. Had your friend and the client simply exchanged numbers and contacted one another with more reasonable frequency I would think differently. However, it sounds like both guys have ulterior motives and will be pretty pissed off when they learn that neither one gets what he wants. They might even be pissed off at you, which does not sound reasonable. Had I been the client, I would have exchanged pleasantries and left it at that.

 

That's how it should have been...but my friend is a bit of an opportunist. Actually, saying 'bit' would be a disservice. My friend knows the client is into him, and would desire the company, but from the innuendos the client suggestively made...it would not be a 'stay free, sex free' offer.

 

You've expressed your concerns and reservations about the whole thing to your friend so unless he continues to seek your counsel, leave it at that. The client and your friend are big boys so they have to live with the consequences of their choices, which will also effect you as a result of having them met. You may lose the client and that is just the cost associated with the lesson learned to avoid this type of situation (client meeting friend) in the future.

 

 

It's rare for a friend to meet a client once. But, just in the past week it's happened 3 additional times! The example above, but then I ran into a client I've seen a couple of times, at my favorite bar. Well, that night I just so happened to be with my friend and another guy who I've been 'dating'. Once again, my other friend jumped in when my client said he's going on vacation in a couple of weeks. My friend said, "you should take me with me!". I had to almost immediately pull him aside and say, "what the hell are you doing??" He says, "oh I was just joking with him". I told him, don't joke. Period. You shouldn't even be 'joking' about imposing yourself onto someone who I mentioned is a client.

 

Then, being it was mutual friends all hanging out in a group, my other 'date' friend (we've hooked up twice) found my client attractive and was trying to arrange a 3som with him, the client and myself. Thing is, I haven't revealed to my date how we knew each other. Things started to just get crazy (as in, some weird love triangle). I had to shut it down quickly as possible. I had to be honest with my client that my 'date' was a building interest of mine, but at the same time being interested in him, but my 'date' was also interested in my client...but I wasn't going to let that happen...and I wasn't going to do a 3som because I needed to keep it professional, and plus I wasn't going to let my date make some impulse decision...especially when he knows I can (and have) taken care of that for him.

 

This just goes to show what goes on in the gay ''scene' all the time. It surprises me sometimes that any of us can make a living, when so many guys are willing to just give it up at the drop of a dime, without necessarily getting a dime. Too many guys are lead by impulse. I had to make it clear that even though me and my 'date' weren't in a relationship, doesn't give him (my date) a pass to be a slut...especially not with my client! (who he didn't know was a client, and he'd of fucked him for free anyway) Luckily, I was able to separate us all, and my client confirmed his loyalty to me. He also called me that night as well and left a message clearing up the situation, but my phone was dead. At the same time, I wasn't intending for him to not get laid that night either! I just thought the whole thing was moving too quickly and too suddenly, and I wouldn't want friends mixing (interfering) with business. It'd be like them introducing me to their co-worker/boss and me screwing them. Awkward and messy!

[robberbaron4u]

Why would you undertake to interject your personal life ("Friend") into your professional life ("Client")??? It simply isn't done by prudent folk who know "how to do" in life. . .

[BaronArtz]

Why would you undertake to interject your personal life ("Friend") into your professional life ("Client")??? It simply isn't done by prudent folk who know "how to do" in life. . .

 

Exactly. There is nothing but downside. You can lose a friend. Or you can lose a client. Or you can lose both. It's not more complicated than that.

[JoeyBryant]

Why would you undertake to interject your personal life ("Friend") into your professional life ("Client")??? It simply isn't done by prudent folk who know "how to do" in life. . .

 

Pretentious much? Who are these prudent folk?

 

Exactly. There is nothing but downside. You can lose a friend. Or you can lose a client. Or you can lose both. It's not more complicated than that.

 

Well, some things just happens by default. Or by experimentation. Guys who work with other guys (E.G. even ones on this forum) all had to start in the beginning being either 2 escorts as friends meeting, or by someone not in the industry who was a friend and became an escort.

 

Now, if it sounds like I'm contradicting myself...I'm not. On the one hand I'm suggesting against having friends meet clients, but on the other I'm giving examples of guys who do or have done duos. Now, shortly after posting this thread, a client asked if I had a friend. Guess what? I had that same friend join us. Sounds extra contradictory, but I believe good prevails over evil, and we actually all had a good time.

 

However, it's just a general consensus that most friends of my age group (or even older) tend to be opportunist when it comes down to knowing I keep a company of well-off gentlemen (some guys even consider fairly upper-middle class clients to be 'rich', and all they see is $$ signs). And because of that, they'll steal the opportunity the moment I open that door and 'allow it'. Which is why usually, I never do.

[+ Axiom2001]

You've expressed your concerns and reservations about the whole thing to your friend so unless he continues to seek your counsel, leave it at that. The client and your friend are big boys so they have to live with the consequences of their choices, which will also effect you as a result of having them met. You may lose the client and that is just the cost associated with the lesson learned to avoid this type of situation (client meeting friend) in the future.

 

...salient advice to which I, too, agree!

[DREW]

I would not introduce a friend .. I keep work and private life separate

[SteveEscort]

I would not introduce a friend .. I keep work and private life separate

 

I thought Joey meant Friend as in "Escort Acquaintance" not someone from work or school who knew what he did, I might be wrong

 

I would never introduce a friend either, but it's unlikely I'd take a lifetime friend along to somewhere where I might be working so I presumed it was more someone who was more in tune with the surroundings

[JoeyBryant]

I thought Joey meant Friend as in "Escort Acquaintance" not someone from work or school who knew what he did, I might be wrong

 

I would never introduce a friend either, but it's unlikely I'd take a lifetime friend along to somewhere where I might be working so I presumed it was more someone who was more in tune with the surroundings

 

It's complicated. It's a guy who I allowed to 'move in' with me temporarily couple months ago, and we become 'friends'. For personal matters, he had needed to go to a city I enjoy going to. I went along because it seemed to be a good idea to finally have someone to split expenses with, or at the very least....contribute to the expenses. I don't regret anything, but in the future I would only introduce him to 'married' clients, not the single gay ones. I don't offer escort services PLUS a bonus boyfriend finder service.

 

As an update...from what I know the 'situation' he was 'contemplating' doesn't seem like it's going to happen afterall. For one, I overheard him telling the client about his 'job problems'. So, I think the client got overwhelmed at taking on the task, and I don't think he's been contacting him. My friend is also in the process of moving out, and left this morning to another state. So, things are returning to normal. If being an opportunist was an illness, my friend would have all the clinical symptoms of one.

 

I guess it goes like the songs says:

 

If that's your friend you better hold his hand

"B'cause you'n go to beach and bring sand,

I want your friend, and I don't mind paying.

[+ FreshFluff]

After the session, I ended up introducing the client to my friend. It happened because the client had a guest suite available, which was originally meant for ME to stay in, since I was traveling and not near a major city. However, my friend and the client connected pretty well...platonically on my friend's end. From what I know it was nothing sexual or overly-intimate. I don't believe my friend received any donation out of this..

 

I'm not quite understanding: If the client had a guest suite that was meant for you, why would that be a reason to introduce your friend to him.

 

I think this brings up a bigger issue, one that I've been working on myself. Try to make proactive, firm decisions rather than letting things happen by default (for example because someone is applying pressure). Before you make a decision, think about whether this is something you might really regret. If that's the case, make a proactive decision to protect yourself from that. Your friend is an adult and can find his own place to stay. That sounds selfish, but unless the person you're helping has proven himself to you, there's no reason to go out of your way to help him.