Referrals

[Griffondog]

It may just be a coincidence, but I'm new enough at hiring escorts that it's possible I have unintentionally stepped in something. I'd be interested to know if there is some kind of etiquette I don't know about to avoid future problems.

 

On two separate occasions escorts that I had previously spent time with were out of town and unavailable to make an appointment in the timeframe I was looking for. I asked, politely I think, if he would be willing to recommend someone else who might be available instead. Both times I asked that question the conversation pretty much ended. My thinking is that if I've had a positive experience, I'd be willing to trust a guy's judgment about a recommendation. Did I step into something that I don't know about? Was it rude to ask for a recommendation?

 

If it matters, after I have had a first appointment and the guys know I'm on the level, I communicate by text. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Kevin Slater]

I'm always happy to refer when I'm able, whether it be someone who's available while I am not or simply for a better match. There's more than enough to go around, and perhaps today he's just looking for a different flavor.

 

Kevin Slater

[rvwnsd]

I've asked and have received referrals from escorts. I couple of guys have replied they don't know anyone who I would enjoy hiring. Sounds like you were being perfectly reasonable.

[Griffondog]

Thanks for your thoughts guys. I'll chalk it up to bad luck then.

[+ quoththeraven]

It sounds like they took that as a hint that they weren't indispensable to you rather than an opportunity to do you a solid. Either they were afraid to refer you to another escort for fear you'd like him better and never return (forgetting that a good referral builds good will), were afraid to say they didn't know of anyone who'd be compatible, or were disappointed you weren't going to wait until they were available. Or maybe they're just immature.

[big-n-tall]

It doesn't hurt to ask.

 

The problem or non-problem is you have some escorts who think of the job as a competition. They aren't eager to pass on business to other escorts. Especially if you're looking for a particular type. Then you have some escorts (as some have stated above) who are very willing to give recommendations. They do it because they don't view it as competition. If the escorts know each other they probably will refer each other to potential clients. In the long run, they both can benefit.

[MiamiLooker]

Maybe they don't know another escort.

[TruHart1]

Some of the best recommendations I've ever received have come from other escorts. And in a number of instances, they've also steered me away from hiring someone if, based on their knowledge of my likes and dislikes, they didn't think the other escort would be a good match for me. But these recommendations came from highly-rated escorts, who don't tend to view other escorts as "the competition".

 

Conversely, I got 2 referrals from one of the best escorts in the business (he recommended both because he’d had positive experiences working 3-ways for clients with them) who I trusted to steer me to good escorts and found that right out of the gate one had a few bad reviews. The other (who had a great many positive reviews on Daddy’s) was quite difficult to reach by phone. After many repeated attempts, we finally had a really nice conversation and set up an appointment. The morning of our session, I received a text from him giving me a reason why he could not make it but requesting I contact him in the next few days to reschedule. The next day I texted, but received no response. I called and left a message asking him to get in touch so we could reset. I did the same the following day but never heard back by text or voice. I finally gave up and hired a different escort altogether.

 

This same trusted escort who had given me these two recommendations specifically warned me against hiring another escort he had also previously worked well with, who, he had heard from some of his regular clients, had “gone to seed” and was no longer in the shape his ad copy and pictures portrayed. After having such bad results with his referrals though, and also reading some very recent wonderful reviews of the escort he’d advised me to avoid, I decided to go ahead and take a chance. I hired that escort and now, whenever I find myself in his area, I still hire him regularly. Certainly the rumors spread by those clients about that escort’s decline were simply untrue and he remains one of the best in the business at furnishing the ultimate BFE each time I hire him!

 

I know the escort who gave me the referrals well and I’m sure he meant only the best for me by both his referrals of the one badly reviewed, the one who “flaked” on me and even his warning against the escort I found to be the opposite of the negative picture his clients had painted for him! If a different trusted escort recommended another escort directly like that, I now don’t believe I’d hire him on their advice alone but I would vet that recommendation just as conscientiously as I would any new escort whose ad interested me! Just my experience, yours may vary, obviously!

 

TruHart1

[Nvr2Thick]

Maybe they don't know another escort.

 

While I have had some good referrals from escorts that were unavailable, I've also met a few escorts who don't know their peers or competitors in the scene and who view everyone else as the competition. Even though I used to travel to LA once a year or less there was one escort I missed out on, and whose recommendation was "save your money for the next time you're in town." When I went to Miami for a training class in 2007 I saw four different excellent top guys. The fourth took the opportunity, unsolicited, to dish on other escorts who he knew only from their ads and supposedly from their reps. He trashed almost every guy, including the three I had seen and enjoyed earlier in the week.

 

To the OP's question: "I asked, politely I think, if he would be willing to recommend someone else who might be available instead."

I may be taking this out of context, but if the question were phrased this way it may seem like you're asking about a referral and if he has knowledge of other escorts' whereabouts and schedule. You might try asking who he'd recommend for a three-way.

[Griffondog]

Thanks for the comments. I was mostly concerned that just asking for a recommendation was considered poor form and that I had f'd up by asking. I certainly understand that my go-to guys might not have a recommendation for me, or even if they did have one that we might not click. We're dealing with people, after all. I guess what threw me was the lack of any response at all to the question, rather than just a "sorry, I can't think of anyone who would be a good match."

 

As always, I appreciate all of the good information I get from the folks on this site.

[Griffondog]

,If a different trusted escort recommended another escort directly like that, I now don’t believe I’d hire him on their advice alone but I would vet that recommendation just as conscientiously as I would any new escort whose ad interested me! Just my experience, yours may vary, obviously!

 

TruHart1

 

Oh yes, I totally agree with this good advice. I'd still check and double check. I would use a recommendation as one more useful piece of information to weigh in the mix when contacting a new guy. I've had good luck so far, but at the end of the day it always seems like such a crap shoot to contact someone new.

[Griffondog]

Anton, thanks for your comments. These are both our "go-to" guys, and I'll call them again first in the future. As long as I didn't screw up by asking, I'll chalk it up to a misunderstanding, busy life, missed communications, etc.

[+ Axiom2001]

It may just be a coincidence, but I'm new enough at hiring escorts that it's possible I have unintentionally stepped in something. I'd be interested to know if there is some kind of etiquette I don't know about to avoid future problems.

 

On two separate occasions escorts that I had previously spent time with were out of town and unavailable to make an appointment in the timeframe I was looking for. I asked, politely I think, if he would be willing to recommend someone else who might be available instead. Both times I asked that question the conversation pretty much ended. My thinking is that if I've had a positive experience, I'd be willing to trust a guy's judgment about a recommendation. Did I step into something that I don't know about? Was it rude to ask for a recommendation?

 

If it matters, after I have had a first appointment and the guys know I'm on the level, I communicate by text. Thanks for your thoughts.

 

No, it was 'NOT RUDE' of you to ask this question! You wanted to know; thus you asked. If the man/escort took offense to your question, it's his problem, for you had the right to ask! Too bad that the escorts did not simply state that they had no one to recommend to you at the time! KEEP ASKING!!

[BoogieNights]

Hi G-dog -

 

It is never rude to ask a question.

 

Not until recently, the past few months, have we known of other working boys whom we could recommend... now we know a half dozen or so, but sometimes it is scary to answer that question because then our "reputation" for the referral is on the line... hopefully the other escort will do a great job. One of our best friends works and he is hot, but because of conversations with him about the business, we would never in a million years recommend him. One friend is amazing (from personal experience) and we have referred him even though his pics are a tad old... so we gave that caveat to the client... One friend we recommend without reservation if someone is interested in his type... and then a couple other friends we don't know whether to recommend or not because we have never really talked with them about the biz nor had any personal experiences with them... It is a bit or a rock and a hard place sometimes.

 

Hope you found someone spectacular.

[Griffondog]

Not until recently, the past few months, have we known of other working boys whom we could recommend... now we know a half dozen or so, but sometimes it is scary to answer that question because then our "reputation" for the referral is on the line... hopefully the other escort will do a great job.

 

Thanks guys, I do see that it is a bit more complicated question than, say, asking for a restaurant recommendation. Although because we are dealing with human beings, I would hope people keep in mind all of the possible variables involved when taking a recommendation. I'm just glad I didn't make a misstep, because we both like these guys….and we did go them first for an appointment, after all.

 

Hope you found someone spectacular.

 

As a matter of fact, we did manage to find someone spectacular. He hit the ball out of the park during the entire evening, which included interacting with a lot of different people in an unusual environment. Thanks for asking, and thanks for your comments.