Stupid Barebacking Mistake

[Argos]

This weekend I made a stupid mistake and allowed myself to engage in a bareback encounter with an escort. I am not at all blaming the escort and I take full responsibility for my actions. I was the top, and in the heat of the moment, I got carried away and the rest is history. The escort swears he is negative but I know the conventional wisdom is to never believe this representation so I won't. Here's my question-- how much of a risk is it to bareback as the top, and how long should I wait to get tested for HIV. I read about a PCR test and called AIM Healthcare, a company that offers the test. They told me I should wait 10 to 14 days and that the test is very reliable in detecting the HIV antibody after a 2 week period.

[Guest JON1265]

>Here's my question-- how much of a risk is it to bareback as the >top, and how long should I wait to get tested for HIV. I read >about a PCR test and called AIM Healthcare, a company that offers >the test. They told me I should wait 10 to 14 days and that the >test is very reliable in detecting the HIV antibody after a 2 week

>period.

 

 

Well, rest assured there is some risk - and that is enough for you to get tested. I would imagine that the risk of being a top is less than being a bottom. I have not heard about these new tests taking 10-14 days - the last timetable I heard was 3 months. Get tested as they say - and I would suggest getting tested at 3 months and again at 6 months - just to be sure. Good luck and I hope you learned something from the experience.

[Flower]

>*****Here's my question--how much of a risk is it to bareback as the top, and >how long should I wait to get tested for HIV. I read about a PCR test

>and called AIM Healthcare, a company that offers the test.

>They told me I should wait 10 to 14 days and that the test is

>very reliable in detecting the HIV antibody after a 2 week

>period.

 

There was another post on the "new" test last march or so--referred to it as a "DNA" test and said accurate withing 10 days or so of contractng the infection. Not all labs have it available and it is much more expensive. I have no personal knowledge, but if you research the archives here there are even lab names and locatins given that administer the test.

 

There is a study that came out last spring that put the risk of BB tops at 13x more than that of BB bottoms--it gave other comparisons and I believe the actual risks involved--I found it on the med information on gay.com.

[marc anthony]

>

>There is a study that came out last spring that put the risk

>of BB tops at 13x more than that of BB bottoms--it gave other

>comparisons and I believe the actual risks involved--I found

>it on the med information on gay.com.

 

It is reversed. The risk to BB bottoms is 10X the risk as it is for BB tops. The point is, the risk (1:50 for the bottom and 1:500 for the top) is not zero.

 

It approaches zero with a condom...

 

By the way... tried playing with the reality condom recently. It was way fun! It feels like you are wearing nothing for the top... and for the bottom, the two bottoms I used it on LOVED it!

 

The big gripe is that it is a pain for the bottom to insert it. I solved that problem... I inserted it for them. It was way fun and didn't break the mood! With one, I fingered him, and then placed it in manually. The other, I actually put it in with a sex toy. VERY, VERY sexy... and didn't break the mood at all!

[bigguyinpasadena]

So is this some sort of baggie that goes inside the bottom's bottom?It does sound like a real hassle-mood killer.What are the benefits/superior qualities over regular condoms.

As to the OP's query.The DNA test has a limited accuracy window(up to 17%)Regular is still preferable.The anxiety during this waiting period is horrid-hopefully enough to take 30 secs to pop on a party hat the next time.If it isn't then you have other issuues you need to deal with(survivor guilt/death wish etc...)Hope all turns out well and the test is negative.

[Guest n6sorrel]

Actually the RNA PCR test measures the amount of Viral Load. You can be grossly positive and have an undetectable viral load. It is rather expensive and usually takes about a mimimum of 2 weeks to get the results.

 

You want the basic HIV antibody test which is inexpensive, quick results and available from any Internist (faster) but also often available free at an aids services organization or public clinic (slower)

[Guest Merlin]

If you are circumcized you are less at risk, as a BB top, than if you are uncut. The evidence is statistical, but apparantly results from the fact that the skin of the uncut head is very thin, and microscopic tears or scratches, invisible to the eye, may allow entry by the virus. I don't want to scare you more, but an HIV negative bottom escort who encourages the top to go bareback sounds very unlikely. If he truly is negative, he will not be for long. I suggest you consult a Doctor who routinely handles HIV cases. There is some evidence, and logic, that taking some anti-HIV medicines now, before the disease is detectible will prevent its development. I know its a tough decision, but consulting the Dr should not be. See what he says.

[marc anthony]

>So is this some sort of baggie that goes inside the bottom's

>bottom?It does sound like a real hassle-mood killer.What are

>the benefits/superior qualities over regular condoms.

 

It is some sort of baggie... and there is a ring on the inside that holds it in place, and a ring on the outside that prevents it from going all the way in. The advantage to the top is that it really does feel bare, because you are bare. The protection is in the bottom. I am not sure why there advantage to the bottom, but the two experienced bottoms I used it on (it was their first time with the condom) BOTH said they loved it, and it was better than traditional condoms. But as I mentioned, I put it in for them as part of foreplay. Others who have written about it grumbled that it was a mood killer for the bottom to put it in. I really found it quite erotic to put it in myself, and so did they as I was playing with their ass when I did it. So I saw NO disadvantage (except that they are expensive).

 

One warning... when you insert, make sure you don't miss. Apparently it is possible to insert on the side of the condom, and then you would be inside bare. So you do need to aim. hehe

[marc anthony]

There is

>some evidence, and logic, that taking some anti-HIV medicines

>now, before the disease is detectible will prevent its

>development. I know its a tough decision, but consulting the

>Dr should not be. See what he says.

 

Merlin: Consulting a doctor is good advice, but I am pretty sure the window of opportunity for this prophylaxis has passed. My recollection is that it works best if started just a few hours after the exposure, and that it is not shown to be effective if more than 72 hours has passed. Since this happened on the weekend, I believe the opportunity passed.

 

But your advice is better... consulting a specialist in this field is better than listening to message board medicine!

 

:7

[nate_sf]

I've had luck with the Reality condom inserting it by wearing it over my dick like a regular condom, rather than going through the somewhat complicated (and definitely mood-killing) anal insertion. It's a bit weird this way but works. It can also address the problem of trying to maintain a hardon while putting on the condom, since it's a lot easier to slip on than a regular condom. You could also try inserting it with a toy, but haven't tried that.

[VaHawk]

IMO, STUPID DECISION not Stupid Mistake, as you knew what you were doing was wrong, but just totally dismissed it, in the "heat of the moment", with no thought of the consequences or the ultimate price you might have to pay until after the act. Isn't that the same excuse that a date rapist uses to excuse his actions? A mistake implies something unintentional and that is not the case here, as this was a Decision on your part.

 

And another Stupid Decision on anyone's part, is to engage in risky behavior, sexual or otherwise, without bothering to do research on the subject before engaging in that behavior. Would you strap a parachute on and jump out of a plane, without knowing anything about sky diving?

 

It is really amazing that there is so much igonorance about HIV, STDs, Herpes, etc on a site that is dedicated to the hiring of strangers by other strangers for the purpose of sexual interaction. How can anyone make a decision without knowing the facts? People should spend as much time educating themselves about the risks, diseases and symptoms as they do researching the escort ads for their next "hot encounter".

[VaHawk]

>I don't

>want to scare you more, but an HIV negative bottom escort who

>encourages the top to go bareback sounds very unlikely.

 

Well, first of all, I didn't see anything in the post that stated the escort encouraged barebacking. And what do you base this observation on? Plenty of people have never been tested and thus don't know their HIV status and to state it unlikely that such a person is positive is really questionable. In addition, there are many strains of HIV with more mutating every day, and just because someone is infected with one strain, does not mean he can't be infected with a different strain, and that his medicines will necessarily be effective against the new strain. Under these circumstances to assume that an HIV person would risk further infection by bottoming bareback is even more questionable.

 

If he

>truly is negative, he will not be for long.

 

WOW! Now that is a really harsh and uncalled for judgement. Of course it might be realistic considering that many clients just don't get tested or learn the facts or practice safe sex.

[Flower]

>

>>

>>There is a study that came out last spring that put the risk

>>of BB tops at 13x more than that of BB bottoms--it gave

>other

>>comparisons and I believe the actual risks involved--I found

>>it on the med information on gay.com.

>

>It is reversed. The risk to BB bottoms is 10X the risk as it

>is for BB tops. The point is, the risk (1:50 for the bottom

>and 1:500 for the top) is not zero.

 

While you are correct, I misplaced the top and bottom (I did that same thing a couple of months ago--maybe a sign I'm Dyslexic:+ ) the study I read did indicate that the Top had 13x the risk of bottoms--close enough however

[Argos]

VaHawk:

 

Your points are well taken and you are correct in saying it was a stupid decision. However, I wouldn't compare the situation to "date rape" because the activity was consensual. In any event, I "fucked up", literally and figuratively, and I was not as well educated as I should have been. BTW I actually have been skydiving on several ocassions and I was much more informed about the subject than I am with respect to HIV transmission and risks. I am trying to find out what is the actual risk for contacting HIV as a bb top even assuming the bottom in HIV+. I noticed the statistics posted by Flower and was wondering if anyone had any other information.

[VaHawk]

Well, I hope I didn't offend you personally, but while my post was about your encounter partially, it was mostly mostly intended as a comment about engaging in risky behavior without knowing the facts.

 

If you are saying that you are worried about this particular instance then as others have said, please consult your physician for tests, and I Sincerely Hope that all such tests come back negatively. The statistics as to risk for the bb top vs the bb bottom in this situation would be moot.

 

On the other hand, if you are mainly trying to get statistics about the risks, because you want to continue to engage in bb topping, then I would suggest that you explore the web and other venues to research the available data, as the posters on this site will be less informative. I am not condemning nor condoning your choice, but only suggesting that you become as informed as possible before making your choice.

[marc anthony]

> I am trying to find out what is

>the actual risk for contacting HIV as a bb top even assuming

>the bottom in HIV+. I noticed the statistics posted by Flower

>and was wondering if anyone had any other information.

 

I posted it above... the current data suggests a risk of 1:500 bareback encounters will result in conversion for the top. This, however, is assuming the partner's status is not known (it is all encounters).

 

The risk for a bottom to convert is 1:50.

[Argos]

VaHawk:

 

I was primarily worried about this encounter because I do not intend to ever let this happen again. I have been worried sick over the incident and it simply is not worth the thrill of the moment. I will consult a doctor and intend to have the PCR testing done as soon as possible. I read the following on the AIM Healtcare Website about PCR and will get the test performed to achieve some peace of mind. . .

 

Why does AIM use the PCRDNA test? What is it?

AIM uses this test because it is the best test for early detection of HIV and works as a stellar monitoring screening test for adult entertainment workers and the sexually active.

 

The standard test you would get in a doctor's office would be the ELISA test, which is a great test, but it has a window period of 6months because it tests only for the antibody which can take up to 6 months to mature in a young healthy person. Can you imagine how many people you can infect in 6 months if you are working in porn? A lot.

 

The PCR (polymearase chain reaction) test tests for the HIV inhibitor itself (the disease) and through an amplification process, HIV can be detected just after about 2 weeks (give or take a day or two). We screen the Adult Industry by this test every month. It has become the standard used in the adult entertainment industry in the USA and you can thank AIM for that.

 

We have successfully prevented the spread of HIV in porn for the last 4 years. An adult entertainment worker MUST BE TESTED EVERY 30 DAYS. Most producers will not hire you if you do not have a DNA test less than 30 days old. And believe me you do not want to work with anyone with an old test because they could be hiding HIV.

 

 

Your comments were not offensive-- just truthful-- and excuse the old adage, but sometimes the truth hurts. We all live with the consequences of our stupid decisions, and for the time being, my consequence is living with the fear that I may have contacted HIV.

[VaHawk]

>Your comments were not offensive-- just truthful-- and excuse the old adage, but sometimes the truth hurts. We all live with the consequences of our stupid decisions, and for the time being, my consequence is living with the fear that I may have contacted HIV.>

 

Thank you as they were not meant to be offensive, but I know I have a tendency to get offensive when it comes to HIV and unsafe sex, but it is only because I care, having lost so many people that I loved to this scourge. And just because I said it was a stupid decision does not mean that I think you are a stupid person. LOL, I do believe I have made a lot of stupid decisions, as have most people.

 

I really do understand your fears, as I just went thru the exact scenario that you relate, with a good friend of mine. Just like you he got carried away in a moment of passion, but he was the bottom. Just like you, he realized he made a bad, "let's not call it stupid anymore, ok?" decision and was WORRIED SICK. He took the test you are referring to, but it came back inconclusive but slanted towards "probably positive".

 

I suggested that he go to an accredited infectious diseases specialist for further testing which he did and all the tests came back negative. Now, if you take this test and it comes back inconclusive, I would suggest the same to you and that you not "freak out" until you have done so.

 

But since you were the top, I feel pretty darn sure that you are going to come back negative in all the tests. Just go get the tests, and when they all come back negative, then at least when you are in the "throes of passion" again, I hope you will remember the "hell" you put yourself thru and engage in safe sex. I believe that is what they refer to as the silver lining in the cloud.

 

STOP driving yourself crazy with worry, as I am sure you will find out that you are fine. But make testing a permanent part of your lifestyle and get tested at least every 6 months. Best wishes!

[Argos]

VaHawk:

 

Thanks for your concern. I appreciated, and now more than ever, understand your concern about the disease. I am glad to hear that your friend ultimately tested negative. I will definitely get the PCR test and then obtain the Elisa test after the appropriate window of time has elapsed. Believe me, after the angst I have gone through during the past several days, I have learned a very valuable lesson and one that I hope I will never forget. I have not been able to concertrate clearly, have lost a significant amount of sleep and pretty much lost my appetite. No orgasm, no matter how incredible it feels, is worth this amount of worry!