Helllllp!

[Guest happyguy]

I don't know if I made a mistake or not, maybe I just lost the first part of my last post. So here goes again, please forive meif some ofit appeared, without the end.

 

I just turned forty. Until now, I have always been atop. For a few months, I have fantisized about being a bottom. I recently hired three different escorts. One for two times, the rest for one. Thefirst time, we lubed me up, I aSked the guy to use lots of lube, explained I had never been fucked, and then used one, two and three fingers. It worked, it hurt, but I was happy.

 

The second time, I was totally sober, and we tried, but it didn't work, I suspect it had to do with him not lossening me up.

 

The next two,tried hard, but it really hurt me alot, and I had got drunk so that maybe it would be easier.

 

Please tell me, what can I do. I really want to do this, and I know it is right. Is there a special kind of lube, or some technique that I should use. Sorry if I am making some of you laugh.... or wasitng your time.

 

I really need your advice, or am I simply a lost pervert cause?

 

Thanks!

hg

[Boston Guy]

Hi -

 

First, you're not a lost case or a pervert.

 

Second, getting drunk doesn't help, nor is it a solution.

 

Third, you need to find a good, experienced top who is used to working with novice bottoms. There are many here who would be more than willing to help you.

 

Once

[Guest happyguy]

Thanks!

 

Did I read somewhere that there is some kind of lube which reduces pain with the equivalent of a form of anesthetic or some other ingredient which reduces the pain? Could someone make some recommendation or suggestion?

 

Thanks again!

hg

[Rick Munroe]

>There are many here who would be

>more than willing to help you.

>

>Once

 

And some of us would help him twice, and three times, even. }(

[Guest LOVEHANDLE27]

Yeah, there is. And it's called PREPARATION H.

[Guest happyguy]

Hey Rick,

 

Sounds like I'm going to have to haul my ass up to New York so you can help me out!

 

To prepare, I just checked the archives and read the thread on "virgin bottoms" which was somewhat interesting. More interesting was when I did the search, it came up with a message that said something like: your search yielded so many results that we can only give you (something like) the first 340 or so!!!!!!

 

I suppose a meeting with you would eliminate the need for me to do so much reading!!!!!!!

 

happy

[AaronScottDC]

Hey HG,

 

All you really need to do is start exploring your own butt with your fingers, dildos, and anything else laying around the house that looks fun, like carrotts (just kidding, but cucumbers can be quite fun!! ) Seriously, though, I started playing with my butt with my fingers when I was about 10 or 12 years old because it felt good! And, as I got older, I used a few larger things I could find around my parent's house. Then I tried a dildo. After many years of doing those types off things did I actually get fucked by someone.

 

I am sure we have all read the porno stories or watched some porn flicks on DVD where some guy gets royally fucked for the first time and loves it. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! Sorry, these are just fantasy stories. Nobody just gets fucked for the first time and actually enjoys it unless they have already explored their butts for themselves and learned how to control the muscles, relax, and go with the flow. If you are a novice, or are overly nervous and tense, it is going to hurt.

 

So, if you really want to enjoy the great feelings to be had by getting fucked, buy a dildo (small, at first) and go to town with it! Dare I even say, "Go Fuck Yourself!" }(

 

 

Aaron Scott DC

http://www.erados.com/AaronScottDC

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/aaronscottdc.html

[Guest happyguy]

Hey Aaron,

 

Sincere thanks for the nicest and most understanding reply. Thanks for telling me what should have been obvious. And, you have just given me a very important reason to look at finding a reason to be in your part of the country. When I can, I certainly will try to contact you - who knows - by then, it might be interesting!

 

happy

[AaronScottDC]

You are very welcome, HG! I am glad I could help. :-)

 

 

Aaron Scott DC

http://www.erados.com/AaronScottDC

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/aaronscottdc.html

[Rick Munroe]

>Sounds like I'm going to have to haul my ass up to New York so

>you can help me out!

 

I think that's a good idea...and you might want my bf Derek to help, too. He's the one that made me what I am today. }(

[Rick Munroe]

>Sounds like I'm going to have to haul my ass up to New York so

>you can help me out!

 

I think that's a good idea...and you might want my bf Derek to help, too. He's the one that made me what I am today. }(

[btmstudnyc]

HG, all the suggestions are good... I have only one more...it is called a butt plug. It is not as long as a dildo and is supposed to go in just far enough to get pass the ALMIGHTY SPHINCTER. You put it in and are supposed to wear it as long as possible...some do it all day

 

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/images/t-ori-1452.jpg

 

this is the acrylic one...they usually cum in black.

try it..over time youll become a great bottom

 

JIM

[btmstudnyc]

HG, all the suggestions are good... I have only one more...it is called a butt plug. It is not as long as a dildo and is supposed to go in just far enough to get pass the ALMIGHTY SPHINCTER. You put it in and are supposed to wear it as long as possible...some do it all day

 

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/images/t-ori-1452.jpg

 

this is the acrylic one...they usually cum in black.

try it..over time youll become a great bottom

 

JIM

[+ Lucky]

Personally I think it is all in the head. If I am really into a guy he can be huge and it doesn't matter. But if another guy of the same size, or even smaller, doesn't jerk my chain so much, he can be a real pain. So why not look into why you want to get fucked. Once you decide this is really what you want, you'll find the space for it, deep, deep, and deeper! (Boy that got me worked up. Jim, give me that plug...)

[Guest happyguy]

Hey Lucky

 

You told me I had to figure out why I wanted to be fucked. It goes something like this: I have been a top - always. Increasingly, over the past few years, I have noticed how much more I love having attention paid to my ass. And that has led me to want to have some guys "in there". I have never worked on opeing myself up in the past. But my desire to have this happen has now led me to trying to do it. The smallest of the three with whom I tried did succeed and it felt great - but it still hurt. I am now going to follow the advice I got so far ... But, the butt plug scares me!!!!!!!

 

I read somewhere that after forty, one begins to develop the "other side" of one's personality. i.e. an extrovert will find himself becoming more introverted, or vice-versa. I wonder if there isn't some of that in all this. By the way, I don't have the urge to stop topping, just to switch roles!

 

Anyway, I hope this gives you some insight into "why I wanted ...."

 

hg

[CT Dick]

My advice it to listen to Aaron Scott. He is right. Whether it is mental or physical, getting used to loosening up is the ticket.

 

If you use pain deadening lube or get drunk, you miss the extreme pleasure of getting fucked. It is worth the effort.

 

Btmstud's advice is worth a try. If nothing else, masterbating with a butt plug is an intense experience. }(

 

Dick

[Bilbo]

It seems to me from reading your posts that you are probably a good top. So, why would you let another top top you without foreplay? Without opening you gradually up with 1,2,3 fingers? Would you yourself do that to a nearly virginal butt? I doubt it. Respect yourself and remember what treatment you are worth. And if the top doesn't give it to you, ask for it. And if he doesn't do it after you ask for it, he isn't worth getting into your butt, whether you're paying him or not.

 

By the way, I keep meaning to go on the same spirit trail you are trying out. And I know that I do keep talking about Body Electric. Unfortunately, most of their best advanced classes are only offered once a year. And there are others of their classes I want to do first. But they have a seminar called Butt Camp which is all about butt. I also hear that the advanced class which seems to be the one that most people take second, right after the CBE beginning weekend, is partly about butt work. And I'm taking it, Dear Love of Comrades, this August in Upstate New York. Check it out!

[Guest ncm2169]

Butt Camp ?? }(

 

Tell us more.

[Bilbo]

Well, first, to take Butt Camp, you have to have already taken Celebrating the Body Erotic, which is a one weekend course which is taught once or twice a year in almost all of the major cities in the USA. That one I've done myself and I'd be on a bit more solid ground trying to describe it to you.

 

Butt Camp itself is only offered once a year. It lasts about a week. It is taught by John Ballew, whom Franco has quoted as a bit of an authority of some things sexual. I saw him shortly after that and he joined this site so that he could enjoy seeing himself talked about, so he might be still coming through occaisionally. I know that they are very concerned with hygene. One is not allowed to play with another's butt in CBE and they say that it is because the proper hygene is not available. Body Electric also seems to always offer scholarships to those PWAs who need them. The school also has a very nice web site, which could tell you more, and more accurately, and I think that address is bodyelectric.org . Reallly runon paragraph, but I didn't feel like about five one or two sentence paragraphs. Ah, well.

[Guest happyguy]

Thanks to everyone, but especially to Aaron and to you, Bilbo! You are so right: I would NEVER top anyone, even a seasoned pro, without great foreplay. The mistake I made was I hired bottoms to top me, thinking they would know better what I wanted. The reason the first one worked was that I told him how to open me up! For some reason, I forgot with the other two and they should have been tops!

 

I have long been fascinated by body electric - I hired a guy in south florida where I go frequently - but he moved away and I forget his name - he was unbelievable.

 

Thanks again for the great advice and its nice to know that someone else is going down the same path as I am!

 

happy

[Matt_Vancouver]

It could happen

 

>I am sure we have all read the porno stories or watched some

>porn flicks on DVD where some guy gets royally fucked for the

>first time and loves it. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! Sorry, these are

>just fantasy stories. Nobody just gets fucked for the first

>time and actually enjoys it unless they have already explored

>their butts for themselves and learned how to control the

>muscles, relax, and go with the flow.

 

Aaron, I have to disagree, I had never really played with my butt before my first time, and let me tell you....I loved it: )

One of only 2 times in my life that I came without ever touching my cock.

Matt(first times the charm)

[Guest DevonSFescort]

RE: It could happen

 

I do think this is an area where individual hard-wiring plays quite a role. I've met guys who'd just as soon have you back a truck up in there, and lot of them seem to say they were just always like that. Some guys' assholes even have some kind of vacu-motion -- you can feel the suction pulling you in, LOL. The problem, I guess, is that you don't really know if you're one of those types until the first time, so Aaron's right that it's not a bad idea to get some toys and do some homework beforehand. ;-)