My Autobiography

[SmallTownJohn]

Hey y'all,

 

In the last in a series of angry degrading emails to me regarding my posts on 'Hilarity,' I was told to stop being jealous and to basically work harder to do better. My few words on the topic were SO strong & earth-shattering, even though I am an inferior escort with problems(ugly, old, poor, unsuccessful) who must be destroyed.

 

I have been told repeatedly who I should be like...

 

With that in mind, I want to announce that my life story, "SmallTownJohn And The Deathly Hallows" drops this Tuesday. It will be unavailable on i-Tunes, Amazon or Barnes & Noble. It's an original true story of a big boy with a hard, thick magic wand. This wand provides pleasure to some and pain to others. Some fear it...some think it tastes like Shoney's Hot Fudge Cake.

 

I facetiously thank Dame Maggie Smith for the inspiration and intensive copy-editing. Her parts are in red. (She is brutal!)

 

I dedicate it to my boyfriend. He wants Stephen Fry or Brian Blessing to do the audio version. I'm thinking more a personally supervised shirtless Taylor Lautner or the late George "Goober" Lindsay live at the Opry.

 

As a teaser, here is the EXCLUSIVE unveiling of my riveting opening line...hold on to your panties...

 

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”

[+ poolboy48220]

It's going on my kindle post-haste.

[bigvalboy]

I of course wish you all the success in the world with this....please let us know how the unveiling goes...

[down_to_business]

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”

 

The first time I read that line I didn't see the "l" in clocks.

 

On a serious note, very sorry to read about your bf and the health issues you are having to deal with.

[+ Axiom2001]

I of course wish you all the success in the world with this....please let us know how the unveiling goes...

 

John, I wish you success on your publication as well and will try to procure a copy of it once I return from a trip which begins next Sunday, the

5th of May and concludes on the 6th of June. Take care! {Edd/Axiom, Monterey, CA}

[operalover21]

Hey y'all,

 

In the last in a series of angry degrading emails to me regarding my posts on 'Hilarity,' I was told to stop being jealous and to basically work harder to do better. My few words on the topic were SO strong & earth-shattering, even though I am an inferior escort with problems(ugly, old, poor, unsuccessful) who must be destroyed.

 

I have been told repeatedly who I should be like...

 

With that in mind, I want to announce that my life story, "SmallTownJohn And The Deathly Hallows" drops this Tuesday. It will be unavailable on i-Tunes, Amazon or Barnes & Noble. It's an original true story of a big boy with a hard, thick magic wand. This wand provides pleasure to some and pain to others. Some fear it...some think it tastes like Shoney's Hot Fudge Cake.

 

I facetiously thank Dame Maggie Smith for the inspiration and intensive copy-editing. Her parts are in red. (She is brutal!)

 

I dedicate it to my boyfriend. He wants Stephen Fry or Brian Blessing to do the audio version. I'm thinking more a personally supervised shirtless Taylor Lautner or the late George "Goober" Lindsay live at the Opry.

 

As a teaser, here is the EXCLUSIVE unveiling of my riveting opening line...hold on to your panties...

 

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”

 

It'll be a best seller!

[uwsman2]

I'll wait for the film. Who's set to play you, John?