The Person behind the Escort

[axebahia]

My other thought about this is that gay men in general and gay escorts in particular seem to be particulaly narcistic creatures in love with themselves and heir bodies to an almost abnormal degree. (Perhaps, there are deep pychological reasons for this, but Jackhammer is no longer here to give us the view from the anti-depressant set.)

 

So it also sometimes seems to me that for a narcistic escort having saex with another similarly situated person might not give quite the same rush as having sex with someone who does not compete on the physical beauty scale, but who can and will adore and worship the looks and body of the escort to a greater degree. I think this is also why some escorts report getting turned on more from their "average" clients.

[BuckyXTC]

Axebahia:

 

As much as I find myself in agreement with many (but not all) of your political views, I find myself chagrined that you often feel the need to take cheap shots at others, as you have done in this post.

 

First, a shot a Jackhammer, then a thinly veiled swipe at Rick Monroe.

 

What gives? Is it that time of the month? Don't you think you might enjoy more credibility here if you could ease up a bit on the personal stuff?

[axebahia]

>First, a shot a Jackhammer, then a thinly veiled swipe at Rick

>Monroe.

 

Sorry, no swipe was intended at Rick. I have repeatedly said here that I think the world of him though he is not my type. As for Jack, my swipe was good-natured, I think. He has made his medical condition here a matter a public matter and as such it is open to public comment and/or ridicule.

 

On the wider point, let me clarify that I don't think that narcism is necassarilly pejorative. I just share that observation. In fact, my favorite former escort/friend and I were chatting the other day and he was telling me how good he looks. (I have not seen him since January.) It made me hot hearing him describe himself, and I think it made him hot describing himself. Was that narcism? Undoubtedly, yes. Was it harmful or hurtful to either of us? Undoubtedly, no. So even I were understood to have said that Rick was narcistic (which I did not) that would not have been in any way intended as a critique of him. I could be wrong, but I suspect he understands that.

[Bilbo]

Having just come in from a thread about religion, I find it too tempting to pass up this chance to lament that the words "worship" and "adore" are so much a part of hot sex vocabulary any more.

 

I recently even stopped a scene to ask a very hot escort (who posts here a good bit and I'm not going to name names because I realize that it's just part of a good game I enjoy, not something he really means. He kissed the blarney stone for sure, that one.) anyway, to ask him not to say either "I worship you" or "I adore you" as I was brought up to save those words for religious purposes.

 

Of course, I do try to stay a bit looser than I used to be on this since I think that earthly love can lead to divine love and God is the King of King and the Master of Masters, not just the King and the Master, period, if you get my drift.

[woodlawn]

>Was that narcism?

 

 

No, but it might be narcissism.

 

The myth of Narcissus is usually perceived as a cautionary tale, don't you think? It reminds us that a lot of attention to what is superficial means we may not be paying enough attention to things that are far more important. If that is not relevant to a website about escorts I don't know where it would be.

 

[+ Lucky]

"If that is not relevant to a website about escorts I don't know where it would be."

 

A website about lawyers?

[jackhammer91406]

From the Prozac set

 

David,

I don't know much about the psychology of an escort's mindset, so contrary to Axe's suggestion, I don't have much to offer (and thanks to those who stood up for me ...((bucky))... but I try to no longer take offense at what Axe says because his need to rip me whether in good fun or for real says more about him than me). But back to David and your original post.

What I feel I can offer is this:

Since I first began to follow the postings on this board and then later began to hire and then still later post and submit reviews, I have always used this forum to say what's on my mind at any given time. Many here hide their true feelings behind a persona that they have created. That's cool too.

It's true that what has been on my mind has often been very emotional or deeply honest (sometimes brutally so). It has been the reason this board (and it's membership in total) has been so beneficial to me. It was the one place where I could be myself. In other posts some members have pointed out that I must be newly out (very true). It's also well known that because of that there is a certain immaturity to some of my posts (also possibly true depending on perspective). But one thing that cannot be denied is that there is a genuiness to them because they represent how I really feel (whether a well accepted opinion or not). So I give you credit for using the board in much the same way; posting your honest feelings and being prepared to grow from there. There are some who live for taking apart everything someone may post to somehow try and prove they are more intelligent, or studly, or wordly wise than the poster, all the while seemingly not revealing anything about themselves personally. What those don't realize is that they reveal so much more about themselves in what they do to trash others than they would if they simply stepped out from behind the curtain of anonymity and acted as themselves.

I applaud your candor and honesty. It is a great benefit of this board.

I wish you good fortune and all that you seek from life.

 

[Rick Munroe]

>for a narcistic escort

>having sex with another similarly situated person might not

>give quite the same rush as having sex with someone who does

>not compete on the physical beauty scale, but who can and will

>adore and worship the looks and body of the escort to a

>greater degree. I think this is also why some escorts report

>getting turned on more from their "average" clients.

 

That might be true for some guys who get into muscle worship scenes but not for me. For one thing, I don't look at sex as a competition nor do I ever compare my looks to anyone else's. When I'm with a guy (escorting or not), the adoration is usually mutual. What's turning me on is the other person, not his reaction to my beauty. I know I look good (but I don't think that makes me narcissistic; awareness of one's beauty is not the same as love of same, no?) but I don't necessarily get off (or need to) on being worshipped (although, I have found those scenes to be hot because of how turned on it made the other guy).

 

The reason I am more into "regular" guys than "muscle gods" is that the former are usually not as vain or self-conscious. I know this is not always the case, and yes, I've had great sex with super hot guys, but I've had better sex with guys whom society would call "average". Also, the guys I check out on the street or at the gym are not the perfect specimens with attitude...I look for a cocky, confident walk & an inner sensuality (& a sexy face doesn't hurt either). It's funny...I hooked up with a guy the other day who really turned me on, and I told him how sexy I thought he was, and he was surprised ("but I'm skinny and you're muscular!"), which surprised me because I thought for sure he had to know how fucking sexy his face & hairy body & cute little belly (and, OK, big cock :9 ) were. But maybe that was part of his appeal to me...his lack of egotism.

 

Anyway, I didn't take this as a dig (thanks, Bucky). You might have a good point, just not when it comes to me.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>What's turning me on is the other person, not

>his reaction to my beauty. I know I look good (but I don't

>think that makes me narcissistic; awareness of one's beauty is

>not the same as love of same, no?) but I don't necessarily get

>off (or need to) on being worshipped (although, I have found

>those scenes to be hot because of how turned on it made the

>other guy).

 

Hmm. How is "how turned on it made the other guy" distinct from "his reaction to my beauty?" I actually think this is a big part of why a lot of guys (myself included) do love to be worshipped. It's sort of like how one of the fun things about topping is seeing and hearing the pleasure it's giving the bottom. For a lot of tops that enjoyment supersedes whatever pleasure they get from the physical sensation of topping.

 

I think the distinction you're making is that you don't derive any affirmation from someone being turned on by your looks, but you do derive pleasure from knowing that you're giving them pleasure, and if some or most of that pleasure happens to be due to your looks, so be it. With me I guess it's more of a twofer -- I definitely get a rush out of the reaction in and of itself, AND I get pleasure from giving it. That, to me, seems like a fairly benign and healthy form of narcissism. What's more warped is when someone encourages and feeds off the admiration but is so self-absorbed and aloof that the other person might as well not be there.

[woodlawn]

>"If that is not relevant to a website about escorts I don't

>know where it would be."

 

>A website about lawyers?

 

But lawyers ARE important, Lucky. The next time you get busted trying calling a hooker to get you out of it.

 

[axebahia]

>I thought for sure he had to know how

>fucking sexy his face & hairy body & cute little belly (and,

>OK, big cock :9 ) were. But maybe that was part of his appeal

>to me...his lack of egotism.

 

Or maybe, you fall into the first category I laid out above. Maybe you are a size queen, and found what really turns you on in him despite his belly etc.?

[axebahia]

RE: From the Prozac set

 

>But one

>thing that cannot be denied is that there is a genuiness to

>them because they represent how I really feel (whether a well

>accepted opinion or not).

 

But the funny thing is that for all of your sincerity and genuineness, you seem to refuse to grant that not everybody might not think much of folks who put Prozac in their Cool-Aid to learn how to be happy, or who consult their witch doctors in white coats to tell them what to say and think each day.

[Rick Munroe]

>Hmm. How is "how turned on it made the other guy" distinct

>from "his reaction to my beauty?"

 

They're two different things: one is general and one is specific. I'm turned on when the guy I'm with is turned on, period...that's not the same as being turned on by someone telling or showing me how drop-dead gorgeous I am. I can get that from my mother, and it doesn't do a thing for me.

[Rick Munroe]

>Hmm. How is "how turned on it made the other guy" distinct

>from "his reaction to my beauty?"

 

They're two different things: one is general and one is specific. I'm turned on when the guy I'm with is turned on, period...that's not the same as being turned on by someone telling or showing me how drop-dead gorgeous I am. I can get that from my mother, and it doesn't do a thing for me.

[Rick Munroe]

>Or maybe, you fall into the first category I laid out above.

>Maybe you are a size queen, and found what really turns you on

>in him despite his belly etc.?

 

No, because I found him to be very sexy before he dropped his pants & before I knew anything about his dick. And you're the one who just made his belly into a negative trait...I said it was cute & sexy, remember? Maybe you need to stop trying to categorize people...in my mind, we're all individuals with different approaches to life.

[axebahia]

>They're two different things: one is general and one is

>specific. I'm turned on when the guy I'm with is turned on,

>period...that's not the same as being turned on by someone

>telling or showing me how drop-dead gorgeous I am.

 

I am with Devon on this one. Are you saying then that you would be as turned on just by the knowledge that the guy is turned on, even if he was turned on by Derrick standing next to you, or by Derrick with you in another room?

[axebahia]

>No, because I found him to be very sexy before he dropped his

>pants & before I knew anything about his dick. And you're the

>one who just made his belly into a negative trait...I said it

>was cute & sexy, remember?

 

No actually what you said was:

 

"I hooked up with a guy the other day who really turned me on, and I told him how sexy I thought he was, and he was surprised ("but I'm skinny and you're muscular!"), which surprised me because I thought for sure he had to know how fucking sexy his face & hairy body & cute little belly (and, OK, big cock ) were."

 

You said nothing about the waiting until he dropped his pants to find his big cock sexy.

[dick_nyc]

A medical condition (depression) may be a public matter but that does not automatically make it available as a subject for ridicule. If you ridicule a medical condition, then you are really showing just what a low class creep you are.

[Rick Munroe]

>Are you saying then that you

>would be as turned on just by the knowledge that the guy is

>turned on, even if he was turned on by Derrick standing next

>to you, or by Derrick with you in another room?

 

Fuck yeah...that's why we love 3 ways so much. I love to see guys get turned on by Derek and Derek loves to see guys get into me. I don't understand the last part of your question: if I'm in another room, I can't see what's happening (we must have lead walls...my x-ray vision never works).

 

By the way, I don't like to analyze sex so much. It takes away the fun for me...so I might not continue this conversation if it keeps getting deeper & deeper. OK?

[Rick Munroe]

>You said nothing about the waiting until he dropped his pants

>to find his big cock sexy.

 

No, but in my subsequent post, I did. I left out a lot of other details, too. I didn't realize I was on trial here. This is starting to get tiresome. I'm done! Continue if you want...

[axebahia]

>I don't understand the last part of your question:

>if I'm in another room, I can't see what's happening (we must

>have lead walls...my x-ray vision never works).

 

Yes, but if its just the knowledge that the client is turned on, and that it is not his reaction to you that turns you on, then, you should be turned on just by the knowledge that he is turned on by Derrick even if you can't see the action because you are in the other room.

[jackhammer91406]

RE: From the Prozac set

 

Axe,

I don't drink cool aid. I also don't think meds and therapy are for everyone and have never said that. In fact some may be way past the help of therapy and meds.( I can think of a few choice candidates for this last category). Anyway, I speak only for myself, and always have. And I am sure that doesn't make a bit of difference in your intent to parse some obscure meaning out of what I say just to keep the jabs coming, so feel free to parse away. No problem for me . I am done with this thread anyway. Catch me on another one when you want to spar some more.

 

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>By the way, I don't like to analyze sex so much. It takes

>away the fun for me...

 

Even if it turns the other guy on?

[Flower]

>"If that is not relevant to a website about escorts I don't

>know where it would be."

>

>A website about lawyers?

[font color = "green"

]

et tu Lucky x(

[Bilbo]

But escorts are important, Woodlawn. The next time you need a hug, try calling a lawyer. A nanny, maybe, but they're not used to guys our age.

 

And I do get turned on if I know my lover/partner is having good sex in another room. I get turned on just knowing that he's going to be having particularly good sex (a bit of trust on my part there, I admit) in two weeks in another state.