Learning to bottom

[zach_wilson]

So, I know I have stated before that I am a top only.However I am noticing that if I were able to bottom I would be able to attract more people. There are several concerns for me with this though. The first is im worried about the pain, and physically showing it on my face. Then what would happen if the client saw this and thought 'he's not enjoying it he lied he is not a bottom'. Is there anyway to get rid of the pain, I have looked up numbing agents etc and they have a ton of good reviews on them however I am just worried about what happens if it does not work. I would assume also that after a few times of using it and getting used to things being in there that I would not have to use that anymore. Also another obvious worry is hygiene down there even as a top I still shave there and know about cleaning just wondering how do you excuse yourself if on an overnight or extended stay to go clean... Lastly and most important is since I would be obviously new to it, Size WOULD matter. So what if in the trial runs of attempting this I got a huge client...Would not really know what to do.. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Hope everyone has a good New Year. Xo

[ragazzolupo]

Zach, As someone who has always been very versatile, I can enjoy both topping and bottoming. I think as I have grown older, however, I am enjoying bottoming even more. I would suggest two things for your "quest." The first is if you enjoy being rimmed, get a client that you have a good time with and who likes to rim to stimulate your little rosebud and see if that is giving you pleasure. If he likes rimming, I am sure it will give him pleasure.

 

Second, get a few dildos in small medium, large and "feared enormous client" sizes. Play with them and get used to the feeling. It doesn't need to hurt. Use all the lube you want and do it in the privacy of your own home. Then repeat both of the above.

[Guest boiworship08]

Zach, you could always choose to start with a less- endowed client. It's your choice. As for hygiene, a douche beforehand should be fine. Some guys use poppers to ease the initial discomfort, although they're controversial and cause headaches in some. I agree that you would expand your clientele if you went versatile. Happy New Year!

[East2West]

Zach:

 

It might be something you want to try a few times with a fb or fwb if you have one. It would give you some experience in an environment that wouldn't be as stressful if you were with an actual client. You could also consider experimenting with toys.

[Keenan]

As an escort who bottoms myself my best suggestion is lots of lube and high quality lube to start. The less lube the more it will hurt. Also bring a toy and have the client open you up some with the toy at first. When the client first starts to penetrate you have him go in slowly, the slower the better I find so you can get used to him. Find a position you like that is comfortable. I personally like to be on my back so I can stroke while the client is inside me. Finally make sure you communicate with the client. If you need more lube then use more. The more you communicate the better it will go.

 

Keenan

[Juan Vancouver]

Long laborious post. Read at your own risk

 

Hi Zach,

 

Your post really got my attention and there are a few things that I want to comment on. First of, I think it would be a mistake to broaden your range for the sole purpose of attracting other clients. This is your sexuality we are talking about and this is a very important part of you as a human being. Trying to change it to fit what you imagine the market needs could be unhealthy for you and could rob you of the fun way in which things normally progress; For example, when I started having sex with men I declared that I was only a top. I tried a few times to get fucked, but the pain and discomfort were too big. Finally one day, something seemed to click inside of me and I realized how incredibly pleasurable could be to get fucked. This had to do with relaxation, getting out of my head, practice and persistence. I know this happened because I was curious and I wanted to feel what the bottoms felt and I took my time and respected my body to get to that point.

 

I believe that it you try to force your body to offer a service, not only your clients will know that you are not into it, you may even hurt yourself or may make it uncomfortable enough so that you make it really difficult to ever like it. Whatever you do, don't you ever use any desensitizing agents; pain is there for a reason. Pain is the way your body has to tell you "What the fuck are you doing? STOP!" Pain tells you when to breath, when to take a pause, when to put more lube, when to quit. If you take pain out of the equation, while it is true that you may be able to relax more and contract your sphincter less, it is also true that you could damage your ass in serious ways. A forceful penetration can cause fissures, which are actual wounds in your anal lining which can take years to heal and sometimes require surgery to get rid of completely. Needless to say that you will not be able to see clients of any kind if you end up in the hospital unable to walk for weeks.

 

If you ask me "What can I do to be able to bottom to accommodate my clients?" I have to respond "DON'T!" This will only lead you to possibly hurting yourself, alienate those clients you seek to attract and will make you hate one of the activities that could be amongst the most pleasurable in life... Do not make yourself bottom to broaden your market.

 

If, in the other hand, you are curious about bottoming and want to explore more ways in which you can receive pleasure, then you have to take matters on your own hand, especially at first. Nobody will be able to know what feels good or bad, nobody -regardless of how amazing a top they may be, will ever be able to read your mind and your body to the extent that you could. If you want to explore your own ass for pleasure, you need to be disciplined and start little by little, at home, every day a little. First play with lots of lube and one finger in your ass while you jerk off. Jerking off will help you relax and will help you somewhat distract your focus away from your ass. At first it will feel weird, but soon enough you will feel more comfortable. Then stick another finger, and then a month later or maybe five minutes later another. When your body asks for more -never before- try a small, thin dildo. Put a condom on it and use a lot of lube. Once you feel comfortable with it inside, once you override the feeling that you have to pee, (Which could happen after five minutes but could take a much a months) breathe, relax, try to open up your ass, and remember that this is supposed to feel good, this is supposed to give you pleasure. Try the in and out, try entering your ass from different angles and become used to the different sensations. Once you get into it and you are able to jerk off and cum and thoroughly enjoy it, and only then, either try a larger dildo or ask a fuck buddy of your trust -never a client- to help you become familiarized with someone playing with your ass. It would be best if you don't ask a total top. Total tops have no idea of how to treat an ass carefully and a bottom or a versatile guy will know exactly what you are going through. Learn to communicate clearly, ask him to stop, go slower, faster, go from a different angle, get out. You have to learn that once someone is inside you you are in control and you have to learn to feel confident enough so that if one day you are with a client bottoming and you don't feel it is right for you at that time, you will have the strength to clearly say that that's not going to happen that day. Your body is sacred, and you have to learn to take care of it, and then it will take care of you.

 

No amount of money is worth creating disconnection between your body and yourself.

 

Lastly, if I recommend that you ask a fuck buddy of your trust to help you, and I recommend you not to try this with clients is because in this period of experimentation you have to be focusing on you; on your body, on your breathing, on your pleasure. Even if some of our clients say that all they care about is our pleasure, truth is that we are there for theirs, and that is our calling. No matter how focused on you the client really was, chances are that you would still be trying to give him a good experience and you would not focus on yourself. This should be time for you and Mr Pucker.

 

Don't broaden your repertoire with clients. It won't go well. Broaden it on your own time, become adept at whatever you want to do, and only then bring it to the menu. Only then you will be able to be the proficient, confident, calm expert man that will facilitate their exploration. And most importantly, only then you will be able to be in control, calm, making sure you are taking care of yourself.

 

I hope you can see beyond the preachy feel of this email and see why this is important. I believe our work can be very healing and loving, and I know that in order to keep providing a fulfilling service we have to first make sure we are taking care of ourselves. You look like a great guy and I hope that you continue to make people smile, but only if you are healthy and happy first.

[TruthBTold]

I think that I was in the same position (pun intended?, unintended?) as most of the other gentlemen. I started off being an exclusive top, mostly because I was afraid of the pain. I did know, however, that I got real pleasure from playing with my hole and the occasion finger insertion. Years went by. When I was a bit older, I met an escort that I liked and felt comfortable with. Although he bottomed for me, he did not seem to enjoy it. Something told me that he probably was more a top and a great one at that. So, I decided to see what there was to the bottoming thing. Perhaps not a great reason but I also felt that I would enjoy the feeling of giving up some control of the sexual situation. At any rate, once the decision was made, I first experiemented with dildos, increasing in size as I felt comfortable. I found that using condoms helped the pain for whatever reason. I also read up on ways people used to clean myself out so that few if any "accidents" would occur. The one thing that I did find was to make sure that everything was done between 1 and 1-1/2 hours before the fuck so that any water had been expelled. The night of the festival I used the dildos to open myself up so that insertion was a lot easier. Riding him at the beginning helped. Also, if I was on the bottom, looking earnestly in his eyes and telling my partner that he should go slow because, "I wanted to feel every inch of him" seemed to make sure I could tolerate thing. In the end, I found that there was a bottom me inside just waiting to come out.

[JoeyBryant]

I wouldn't recommend using numbing agents...they not only numb the fuckee but tend to seep thru the condom also numbing the fucker. Also, I've found if you're numbed as a bottom then the pleasure isn't all there on your part either. Much less, they don't really help numb that well to begin with. They always have the benzocaine crap for toothaches and mouth sores.

 

Regardless of how controversial poppers are, they do tend to work though for relaxation...but again controversial they are.

 

Also, be aware that if you practice with a dildo too soon before meeting a client...you might get 'ripped' making it more painful when the time comes to do the deed. If you practice with that, you might want to do it days or weeks beforehand. Lastly, don't rely on the pleasure of dildos too much. Most women (not referring to you by any means) do not get any pleasure out of a dildo and have to have something attached to it. Like a man with feelings. Otherwise it's like jamming some object up in there which isn't very comfortable.

[tyro]

Joey said, "Most women (not referring to you by any means) do not get any pleasure out of a dildo and have to have something attached to it. Like a man with feelings."

That's one of the best things I've read on this forum. Ever. Thank you sir!

T

[JT Brooklyn]

The Old saying is.."Either you have it in You or You don't! ...

[RexAll]

I Had To Bail

 

I'm sorry, but as a confirmed top, Posts like Juan's while good information for Zach- made my stomach queasy. I'm going to have to quit this Thread.

 

 

Rex

[Xander]

Hey Zach you don't live too far away. I could give you some free lessons

[zach_wilson]

Aww Xander you would do that for me I do like red heads maybe we could flip you know so I can get more practice topping to.. xoxo zach

[jimboivyo]

no matter what anyone says, the more versatile you are in any situation the more you're going to book clients. that's fact

 

if I were you, I would learn to see if you can enjoy bottoming. make a real effort. no use in cutting off your nose to spite your face by saying you're only a 'strict' this or that

[down_to_business]

I don't often agree with jimboy but I think he gave you some good advice. If you can enjoy bottoming, then you do "open yourself up" to a bigger client base. If you wind up not liking it, then you should not offer that service.

[jimboivyo]

I don't often agree with jimboy but I think he gave you some good advice. If you can enjoy bottoming, then you do "open yourself up" to a bigger client base. If you wind up not liking it, then you should not offer that service.

 

didnt create this name as jimboy. Call me Jim. looking in the mirror, all I see is an old guy, no boy that's for sure