Disclosing STD Test Results

[tom1980]

I recently had an escort ask me when I was last tested for STDs. When I told him I was tested a couple of months ago, he asked to see the results. I've never received that request before, and I was somewhat taken aback. I let the escort know that I've been hiring for several years and have never been asked to produce evidence that I don't have any STDs. I also asked about his motives for asking (thinking that he might be a con artist looking for personal information he could use against his clients) and told him that the request raised red flags and made me nervous.

 

The escort told me that he has started asking new clients for STD test results before a first appointment because so many potential clients ask to see his test results. He also told me that he wasn't seeking sensitive personal information and that people can get tested for STDs anonymously (I verified this fact and have since obtained test results under the name I use for hiring; but I do question how helpful such results are -- I would not trust that an escort is disease free simply because he happens to use the pseudonym that appears on anonymous test results).

 

I have not yet given the escort a copy of my anonymous STD test results and cannot decide whether I want to hire him. On the one hand, I appreciate his concern for safety and his desire for reciprocity. On the other hand, the request feels wrong to me. I can't figure out why the request feels so wrong. Maybe it is because this is the first time an escort has ever asked. If this was my first experience hiring, then I would probably assume it was standard procedure and wouldn't be bothered by the request.

 

Here are my questions:

 

Escorts: Have you ever asked a client to provide you with STD test results? If so, under what circumstances? If not, do you think that such a request is strange or unreasonable? Would you consider conditioning an appointment on a client providing such results in the future?

 

Clients: Has an escort ever asked you to provide STD test results? If so, what was your response and why did you respond that way? If not, how would you react if an escort did ask you to provide such results and why?

[tyro]

I always ask and I always share. Granted, I don't ask to see a document from a clinic (how easy would that be to fake??) nor do I automatically assume every escort is being honest, but it's a place to start.T

T

[jimboivyo]

I always ask and I always share. Granted, I don't ask to see a document from a clinic (how easy would that be to fake??) nor do I automatically assume every escort is being honest, but it's a place to start.T

T

 

you can ask and they can tell the truth or lie. I've had escorts do both.

 

std testing papers mean nothing. false - and + happen more often with the mouth swab testing versus taking blood. my advice is trust no one who offers to bare back or does bare back video, always always use rubbers. just because they don't care about their life doesn't mean you have to go along with it

[josephga]

People are notorious for lying about their STD status best bet assume the worst in everyone always play safe regardless of a individual claims.

[tyro]

Absolutely. And also MAKE SURE THAT YOUR ESCORT IS PLAYING SAFE. Get in some position where you can see his dick sliding in. That sounded a little cruder than I was hoping for, but...let's just say I learned that the hard way. Pun quasi-intended.

T

[Lohengrin1979]

Absolutely. And also MAKE SURE THAT YOUR ESCORT IS PLAYING SAFE. Get in some position where you can see his dick sliding in. That sounded a little cruder than I was hoping for, but...let's just say I learned that the hard way. Pun quasi-intended.

T

 

This +1000. I once had an escort slap on a condom and go to town and 15 minutes later, after pulling out to change positions, took the condom off without me noticing. It felt a bit different though so I stopped him, and sure enough, there he was to the hilt with no condom. I'd like to say I didn't freak out and call down the wrath of god, but I'd be lying. Needless to say, the appointment didn't end well and I get paranoid during hires that it'll happen again. Not that it's stopped me from hiring. People are free to choose which way they play, I guess, but I play safe, and my hires should respect that.

 

Lohengrin

[tyro]

I have a sinking feeling that this sort of behavior is more common than anyone will admit. I so hope I'm wrong.

T

[josephga]

Oh i've known some true horror storys. I knew a guy once he and his partner were together around 8 years when he found out his partner had it the whole time. he only found out the last year of the guys life. he was very lucky because they stopped using condoms after the first year of dating, and to this day he is negative but imo his partner never truly gave a shit about him for keeping such a secret. I knew another guy he and his partner were together 25 years when his partner tested positive. he broke up with him and that guy went on to infect others. It's a scary thought but there are people out there that are bitter and angry over having it and will try too give it to others on purpose. Now I know someone can't give it too you unless you allow them too but still i think its a horrible thing too do too someone..

[+ Travis69]

Perhaps the escort's concern was about STDs other than HIV. Other STDs can be transmitted very easily.

[ebio212]

No escort has ever asked me, but I would not be offended by the request. And heck now, everyone can get tested on the spot with the at home test approved by the FDA in October. I have used it and got it on: http://www.cvs.com/shop/product-detail/OraQuick-In-Home-HIV-Test?skuId=896631

 

Has anyone else presented this as an option for on the spot testing with escorts?

[josephga]

About 6 months ago I had a massage client ask me if I was negative. I said yes and this isn't that kind of massage lol

[tom1980]

To clarify, I was not suggesting that I would have unprotected sex with an escort based on test results or that anyone else should do so. The fact that testing can be anonymous so that an escort could pay someone else for his results or pay someone to take the test under the escort's name, etc. ensure that I will never trust or rely on such results. On top of that, even if the results could not be faked, the results cannot show whether someone was infected with certain STDs (including HIV) within ~90 days before testing. So I would never agree to have unprotected sex with an escort.

 

Any time I see an ad that says the escort does not practice safer sex all the time (e.g., the "sometimes safe" answer on Rentboy), I move on to the next guy. I know people lie and I've seen escorts change those statements from sometimes safe to always safe, but I definitely want to skip the guys who admit to having unsafe sex.

 

In a story similar to the one shared by Lohengrin, I was with a popular escort in NYC a few years ago and it was my third time hiring him. The first time I hired him, I thought he was trying to fuck me without a condom, and I stopped him. It turned out that he had a condom on, and I felt slightly embarrassed. I was glad I stopped him to check, and I definitely was not so embarrassed that I regretted stopping him to be sure. Fast forward a couple of visits, and I did not check. During the first visit he said he always uses protection; so I didn't think I needed to check him. Big mistake. After a couple of minutes, I realized he was not using a condom. Needless to say, I was furious. I was even madder when he started laughing and said I should be honored that I had earned his trust. I informed him that he had forever lost my trust and told him to get out of my hotel room.

[rickp]

Although no one has ever asked me for this I would not be offended if they did. Every time I get tested, my doctor asks me if I'd like a copy of the results. I keep them on file just in case.

[+ Travis69]

If anal sex is to be involved you should clarify before EVERY session that protection HAS to be used even if you've seen the escort 200 times. Some people get caught up in the heat of the moment and do stupid things.

[unsub2O17]

Hi Tom,

 

Nice to hear from you. The very first escort that I ever went to asked me if I were DD free, and I asked him. No paperwork was ever asked for on either side. I am tested every four months, and I always play safe (yes, I do watch the condom go on, however unobtrusively). So far, the escorts that I have gone to have been meticulously compulsive in using condoms (multiple ones if there is any "doubt" at all). I would not be offended at all if I were asked to provide documentation. It would involve getting tested anonymously, but I'd consider it a sincere safety measure (however misguided) on the escort's part. After all, it's his life too.

[Guy Fawkes]

Sorry, the M.A. Looked at across the room at me and said: "Your negative!". I could give you her number if you want. The round of applause was enough for me.

 

Kidding aside, I always act as if we're both Positive.

[RockHard]

Horny is as horny does.

 

I always act as if we're both Positive.

 

I try to act as if we're both positive, but I know I'm negative. I also know I don't have herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and/or any other kind of STD. I'm happy to open up this discussion with any sex partner, and I'm perfectly willing to share my results with them. (My gay doctor also provides copies.)

 

The first time I talked about health risks with a sex partner (back in the 80's) was awkward for me. But the conversation surprised me because it went so much better than I ever expected. That sex partner was thrilled, relieved that I brought it up. And we proceeded to have the most intimate, loving conversation, that actually made the sex so much more tender and fun. Now, I don't hesitate to bring the subject up (at the right time), and the results have always served me well.

 

Of course there's no way to know the absolute truth. Sex with anyone exposes you to certain risks. But if you engage in discussions about health before sex, you stand a chance to reveal the mind and personality of your sex partner in a way no other conversation can offer.

 

This window into someone's soul does not encourage me to engage in unsafe sex, but it does offer a unique insight that can (and does) enhance the safe-sex intimate experience.

[BaronArtz]

What does a clean bill of health mean? It's not worth more than the paper it's written on. So, OK, you have a document stating that you were in good healht last week. Who did you fuck this morning?

 

Always act as we're both Positive is absolutely right!

[RockHard]

What does a clean bill of health mean?

 

It can mean a lot of things.

 

1. I care about my health.

2. I care about your health.

3. I'm not in denial.

4. I have no qualms about visiting a doctor.

5. I'm not afraid to get tested.

6. I want to know my HIV and my STD status.

7. I want those with whom I engage in sex to respect my desire to stay healthy.

8. I want those with whom I engage in sex to know I want them to stay healthy, too.

9. I have too much self-respect to fear discussing this meaningful topic with you.

10. I love my life, my good health, and myself. I want you to know that.

 

A piece of paper in the hands of evil will mean nothing. But a piece of paper in the hands of a man with a soul will mean plenty to another like-minded gentleman.

 

Who did you fuck this morning?

 

I haven't fucked anyone this morning. And I haven't had unsafe sex with anyone in the 20 years prior to my test results. And no STDs in those 20 years. Any more questions before I shove my cock down your throat?

[rickp]

A clean bill of health means a lot. In addition to always using condoms, it shows that if by some change the condom breaks, I have not put you at risk.

[Lookin]

http://economy.blog.ocregister.com/files/2009/12/guy-on-phone-lrg.jpg

 

Also, better bring a note from your therapist

stating you're free of delusions of grandeur,

quirks, tics, and passive aggressive behaviors,

and that you're not a complete asshole.

[bigvalboy]

http://economy.blog.ocregister.com/files/2009/12/guy-on-phone-lrg.jpg

 

Also, better bring a note from your therapist

stating you're free of delusions of grandeur,

quirks, tics, and passive aggressive behaviors,

and that you're not a complete asshole.

 

And a bank statement....that's always helpful.

[Keenan]

Here are my questions:

 

Escorts: Have you ever asked a client to provide you with STD test results? If so, under what circumstances? If not, do you think that such a request is strange or unreasonable? Would you consider conditioning an appointment on a client providing such results in the future?

 

Clients: Has an escort ever asked you to provide STD test results? If so, what was your response and why did you respond that way? If not, how would you react if an escort did ask you to provide such results and why?

 

I have never asked a client to provide their STD test results, some clients may use escorts specifically because of their STD status. That is why I always require protection while with a client and if they tell me ahead of time they want to bareback me I'll use a female condom.

 

Keenan

[instudiocity]

Also, better bring a note from your therapist

stating you're free of delusions of grandeur,

quirks, tics, and passive aggressive behaviors,

and that you're not a complete asshole.

But I love complete assholes. Or is total bottoms?

[Guest]

That's the dumbest question in the world. Anyone who either escorts or hires an escort, and doesn't assume his partner might be carrying STDs is an idiot. I would be very afraid of anyone that stupid. You never know what he might do. And, incidentally, the two times someone with HIV is most highly contagious are: (1) in the end-stages of AIDS, and (2) in the first several weeks after infection, when the HIV antibody test is typically negative.