Social foreplay

[foxy]

I had a really fun evening with a great guy. It lasted about 3 1/2 hours. Had dinner and lots of talk getting to know each other. Sex didn't happen till the last hour. Seemed so much more enjoyable this way. So I wonder, do you like working up to it?...or just diving right in?

[Chuck50]

I like it that way the work up to it but that's just me and I guess Escorts like it too cause they tend to hire for longer periods. HUGS Chuck:*

[VaHawk]

That would depend on the situation. I will say from my own personal experience that the one/two hour sessions where "one just dives" into it have been extremely unsatisfying for me and I honestly have very little if any desire to do them again. Sure, they are great if it is on the spur of the moment when you are just "in the mood" but, for me anyway, just don't work when I book them in advance. And that is in no way meant to be an aspersion against the escort, but rather just an honest assessment of who I am as a person.

 

Since I don't like to deal with agencies, and the so-called street scene no longer exists in most places, if I find someone I want to be with just for sex, it requires an advanced booking. By the time of the actual hookup, I have often found myself not in the mood for what was scheduled or at times not in the mood for anything at all. I just don't seem to be able to program my libido or moods in advance.

 

I would much rather get to know someone via written and/or oral communication to determine compatability and then book an overnight or weekend session where I can enjoy activities other than sex, whether that is sight seeing, theater, dinner, sporting events or any thing else, and where I can get to know the person face to face that I already knew I would like and be compatible with via those prior communications. Since he is an escort with priorly agreed upon activities, the sexual part will occur when I'm in the mood, not according to some clock time and allows me to have a good time in all ways, not just sexually. Since the sexual part happens when I'm in the mood, the details of that part of the encounter will stay in my memories much longer.

 

I can only speak for myself, but I can honestly tell you that the number of purely sexual encounters I have had in my lifetime that I can remember are out numbered at least 10 to 1 by the number I have either totally forgotten or I can remember only vaguely. Since I can't program myself in advance for a purely sexual encounter that I probably won't remember in detail in the future anyway, I would much rather pay for an experience that will always stay in my memory and bring me pleasure in future recollections.

 

Is this a more expensive way to go than a purely sexual one hour encounter? In the short term probably, but in the long term not imo. Having a wonderful all around experience with a beautiful young man who brings me pleasure in all areas during our time together and a lifetime of pleasure in memories is a much better deal. Monetarily, for me, I would rather have a few times a year experiences such as these, than have multi-times a year, one time, physical pleasure only encounters that will fade with time.

[Will]

I agree with Chuck and VaHawk. I've reached a place in my life from which I can't always see ahead to the next time I'll be horny. But because I live a long way from where I'd like to live -- New York City -- I have to plan well in advance to see an escort when I make one of my frequent trips to the Big Apple.

 

Naturally, when I initiate the correspondence and fix the date, I'm in the mood. But almost always, once the actual date rolls around, sex is the last thing on my mind. So having a meal first -- I think lunch, followed by love in the afternoon, is great -- and relaxing into the situation is my preferred way to do things.

 

What's more, I always tell the escort right up front what I've just said here, namely, that I can't depend on my horniness quotient's being at the right level. Thanks to this board, I've gotten (apparently) pretty good at picking escorts, and one of my major criteria is the escort's sense of humor and playfulness. I've found that making a joke out of my lack of burning interest, which always comes across, to me, as sexual shyness, gives us a shared experience of the here-today-gone-tomorrow appearances of Eros when he's up to his flighty mischief.

 

In the best of all possible worlds, of course, one wouldn't have to plan ahead, and one would be able to respond to the moment's urges. This isn't the best of all possible worlds, however, but I've found that I can improve it greatly by extending the length of time I spend with escorts before we get down to "business." The really great escorts -- I can name four in New York from my own experience -- are just as much fun for hours afterwards as they are when we're both getting warmed up. Escorts who are worth the price of an overnight are, in that way at least, invaluable.

[phage]

I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I have one regular with whom I’ve developed a little friendship and we spend time really talking, but basically, I prefer only social pleasantries. They come, we do the deed, and then they go back to their life and I go back to mine. Heartless? Jaded? Functional? I don’t know.

[+ glutes]

Well I'm horny all the time, so a scheduled or spontaneous appointment makes no diff. (Wish everyone could be sooo lucky. And you too Lucky!)

I've only done Social foreplay twice, and they were with known to me(ie. prior experience), top drawer escorts. They both had the requisite humor and social skills to 'socialize', and be seen with, in public. Thoroughly enjoyably - prior to the bedwork.