Were you ever bullied?

[BostonPhil]

I am probably going to raise the ire of some (many) on this site. When we discuss bullying we MUST distinguish between kidding, teasing, harassing and bullying. There is a difference. As children we have all been subjected to kidding, teasing, and some harassment. In some ways by learning how to deal with these behaviors we learn how to survive in a rather hard cruel world. I have an adult niece who has been so sheltered by her overly protective parents that she bursts into tears the minute anybody disagree with her on any issue and accused her “tormentor” of bullying. We need to be very careful in defining bullying in order to be certain that it is indeed malicious and damaging. As a long time high school teacher I NEVER allowed bullying in my classroom. When in doubt regarding the behavior I witnessed I put an immediate stop to it – it is, however, a judgment call.

An obvious example of where the school and the teacher were remiss was the case of the gay students shot by a classmate in Ventura (?) California. From all the testimony given it is obvious that BULLYING was taking place and the teacher should have put an immediate stop to it.

 

How much teasing warrants harassment? How much harassment until it turns into bullying?

[jjkrkwood]

I am probably going to raise the ire of some (many) on this site. When we discuss bullying we MUST distinguish between kidding, teasing, harassing and bullying. There is a difference. As children we have all been subjected to kidding, teasing, and some harassment. In some ways by learning how to deal with these behaviors we learn how to survive in a rather hard cruel world. I have an adult niece who has been so sheltered by her overly protective parents that she bursts into tears the minute anybody disagree with her on any issue and accused her “tormentor” of bullying. We need to be very careful in defining bullying in order to be certain that it is indeed malicious and damaging. As a long time high school teacher I NEVER allowed bullying in my classroom. When in doubt regarding the behavior I witnessed I put an immediate stop to it – it is, however, a judgment call.

An obvious example of where the school and the teacher were remiss was the case of the gay students shot by a classmate in Ventura (?) California. From all the testimony given it is obvious that BULLYING was taking place and the teacher should have put an immediate stop to it.

 

 

Epig, I would tend to agree, as the word "bullying" has become the word du jour and is used today for EVERY sort of disagreement. It has even been thrown around on this site by members who felt they were being "bullied" when other members voiced disagreement to their comments. In my personal experiences, bullying was hurtful, vicious anti gay comments, and physical confrontation often resulting in injury.. In my cases the abuse occurred off school grounds and the teachers were not witnesses. I Believed that if I told, the attacks would escalate. You are often a bigger victim to your Fears.

[Boner]

How much teasing warrants harassment? How much harassment until it turns into bullying?

 

As I mentioned to someone in the politics forum the other day; I believe that all of this hate, bullying and racism stems from a sense of self-superiority over others, and once you're on that slippery slope, everyone whom encounters you will be left for the worse because of it.

[ErieBear]

I was teased and bullied a lot as a kid. Why? Because I was the fat kid. I remember getting laughed at a LOT in the locker rooms (when it was required to shower).

 

Intolerance is practiced in almost every single part of society. I'm going to say something pretty controversial here. Even in the gay community, there's a lot of intolerance. For example, how do most gays feel about Christians? Or fat people? Or Republicans?

 

Just food for thought...

[jjkrkwood]

I was teased and bullied a lot as a kid. Why? Because I was the fat kid. I remember getting laughed at a LOT in the locker rooms (when it was required to shower).

 

Intolerance is practiced in almost every single part of society. I'm going to say something pretty controversial here. Even in the gay community, there's a lot of intolerance. For example, how do most gays feel about Christians? Or fat people? Or Republicans? Just food for thought...

 

Or just OTHER gays. You are absolutely right EB.... Since coming out and experiencing Gay culture first hand, I've seen probbably more "verbal" abuse of gays FROM gays than from str8 society.... However often the abuse is given with a lilting voice, slight head tilt and eye roll to make it cutesy and acceptable, but its abuse nonetheless and "UNacceptable.

[maxwellissmart]

I was teased and bullied a lot as a kid. Why? Because I was the fat kid. I remember getting laughed at a LOT in the locker rooms (when it was required to shower).

 

Intolerance is practiced in almost every single part of society. I'm going to say something pretty controversial here. Even in the gay community, there's a lot of intolerance. For example, how do most gays feel about Christians? Or fat people? Or Republicans?

 

Just food for thought...

 

I can't answer for most gays, and neither can you or anyone else. Some gays don't like Christians, but some gays don't like chocolate either. And plenty of gays love fat people—seeing how there's an entire subculture devoted to bears, stocky guys and chubs. And don't forget the Log Cabin Republicans.

 

Yes, intolerance is practiced in society—whether it's "I don't like her because she's a _____" or "I need to lose weight because I look too fat/thin/whatever."

[SteveEscort]

And plenty of gays love fat people—seeing how there's an entire subculture devoted to bears, stocky guys and chubs. And don't forget the Log Cabin Republicans.

 

Oooh yes, get me a nice big hairy daddy in my bed any night of the week and it will be sweet dreams all the way, yummy

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I was bullied in sixth grade. My father died a year earlier and we moved to a new house to live across the street from my grandparents. The move resulted in a change of schools with kids in the neighborhood not knowing why there was no dad at home. (In the mid-70s, single parent households were still somewhat rare.) A couple of boys began telling finding a new way to remind me that I was without a father each day to the point that I was nearly in tears by the time I got home from school.

[maxwellissmart]

I was bullied in sixth grade. My father died a year earlier and we moved to a new house to live across the street from my grandparents. The move resulted in a change of schools with kids in the neighborhood not knowing why there was no dad at home. (In the mid-70s, single parent households were still somewhat rare.) A couple of boys began telling finding a new way to remind me that I was without a father each day to the point that I was nearly in tears by the time I got home from school.

 

I'm sorry to hear that.

[jawjateck]

For me, I had one tormentor back when I was a kid on the playground during elementary school recess, just typical kid stuff. Unfortunately for him, I outgrew him, and while I never fully turned the tables and treated him in kind, he was put in his place and understood he had been kicked off the tough guy list.

[josephga]

I found the worst at this was teachers and principal children