Why Are Gay men So fucked-Up?

[Boner]

If you've lived through the 70's, the 80's and the 90's - why are you all still so fucked up about sex?

 

Just asking.

[Atlantagaguy]

Please explain?

[Boner]

Please explain?

 

I cant.

[Atlantagaguy]

how are we fucked up about sex? I like sex! I want sex!

[+ Travis69]

Do you think gay men are more fucked up about sex than heterosexuals or bi?

[Boner]

Do you think gay men are more fucked up about sex than heterosexuals or bi?

 

I do. Because we, somehow seem, to rationalize it more.

[Samai139]

Not trying to be bitchy or small-minded, but let's start with the "little blue pills" that enhance the avatar.

Then mix in the '70s and '80's plague of HIV-AIDS; add a dash of guilt left over from, how many generations of Judeo-Christian repression; don't forget the added spice of New World Puritanism, just a pinch; steep a little Victorian Era prudery in during the process; glaze with technological wizardy of porn, porn, porn; oh don't forget the wonders of psychiatry, psychology, sociology, Transcendental Meditation, and a dollop of any other passing trend for curing our "ills': top with a frosting of instant gratification that seems to be pro forma for not just us (meaning gays) but almost everybody; drop on bits of media stereotypes and impossible role models and is it any wonder that lots of us are a little confused about "sex'?.

I'm sure I've left out some ingredients, so if you can add anything, feel free to do so.

[Atlantagaguy]

The only hang-up I have on gay sex is all the kinky fetishes. I really don’t understand the pissing, fisting and other fetishes. Are these practices done in Heterosexual relationships? I can’t imagine my parents or my sibling’s participation in these practices. Nor do I understand public gay sex done at different events such Folsom fair and Decadence in New Orleans which I have attended. Call me a hypocrite, I did watch and I did enjoy, but I still don’t understand why certain guys feel like they need to have sex in public.

[jjkrkwood]

The only hang-up I have on gay sex is all the kinky fetishes. I really don’t understand the pissing, fisting and other fetishes. Are these practices done in Heterosexual relationships? I can’t imagine my parents or my sibling’s participation in these practices. Nor do I understand public gay sex done at different events such Folsom fair and Decadence in New Orleans which I have attended. Call me a hypocrite, I did watch and I did enjoy, but I still don’t understand why certain guys feel like they need to have sex in public.

 

Fetishes have NO limitations. The Heteros are as fucked up as the Gays, maybe more so when it comes to kinky shit.... Public sex is more about Exhibition than it is about Sex, and at these events, its a statement of Freedom of expression... Lots of things are hard to grasp, but we must at least make an attempt to be understanding that certain things that dont work for US may indeed work for others.

[maxwellissmart]

The only hang-up I have on gay sex is all the kinky fetishes. I really don’t understand the pissing, fisting and other fetishes. Are these practices done in Heterosexual relationships? I can’t imagine my parents or my sibling’s participation in these practices. Nor do I understand public gay sex done at different events such Folsom fair and Decadence in New Orleans which I have attended. Call me a hypocrite, I did watch and I did enjoy, but I still don’t understand why certain guys feel like they need to have sex in public.

 

Really, the fucked-up things that I've encountered most during sex tends to be one of the following issues:

- substituting porn for the way sex really is

- selfishness and a lack of caring for the other person's needs, or the flipside of ONLY caring for the other person

- a refusal to explore, or grow sexually and to try to improve (which is why you have 60 year-olds who don't know how to kiss or even the basic mechanics of what makes them or someone else feel good)

- a reliance on one particular thing to get off, again and again

- an undercurrent of shame

 

Certain fetishes are hot, and I like sex in public. My biggest peeve with sex is that people get an idea stuck in their heads and refuse to let it go, or to morph. It has to be exactly that way or nothing works for them. That, and I've always been much better at sex than any of my non-client partners.

[unsub2O17]

Between Samai and Max, I think that they've just about wrapped this up. Between various social (cultural) pressures and self perceptions (deceptions), we've done the best that we can.

[+ Lucky]

Really, the fucked-up things that I've encountered most during sex tends to be one of the following issues:

- substituting porn for the way sex really is

- selfishness and a lack of caring for the other person's needs, or the flipside of ONLY caring for the other person

- a refusal to explore, or grow sexually and to try to improve (which is why you have 60 year-olds who don't know how to kiss or even the basic mechanics of what makes them or someone else feel good)

- a reliance on one particular thing to get off, again and again

- an undercurrent of shame

 

Certain fetishes are hot, and I like sex in public. My biggest peeve with sex is that people get an idea stuck in their heads and refuse to let it go, or to morph. It has to be exactly that way or nothing works for them. That, and I've always been much better at sex than any of my non-client partners.

 

That's a pretty good response to a very generalized question! My opinion: The little head gets men in trouble despite their orientation, and has as long as it has existed.

[JT Brooklyn]

If you've lived through the 70's, the 80's and the 90's - why are you all still so fucked up about sex?

 

Just asking.

 

Speak for yourself on this statement?

[+ Axiom2001]

I cant.

 

I don't consider myself to be "fucked up" regarding m2m sex or my sexualilty in general.

I've never had a problem with other gay men over these many years either.

 

[i think when posting something of this nature, there should be more text which

accompanies it--then the men here could respond much more succinctly!]

[Edward]

Fucked up, maybe. More so than bi or straight. I doubt it. Friends of mine who happened to be female are always complaining their guys don't always rise to the occasion. My friend that owns a sex shop in a conservitive western city says most of his bondage merchandise goes to straight couples. And the thing that suprised me the most is what I am hearing from my sex shop owner and lady friends, a lot of straight guys like a little something up their anus. Hang ups about sex. Yes, we all have them. Most of us grow a little each day. By the time we have out grown these hang-up we will be to old to enjoy sex. Parents and grandparents wake up and start talking about sex with your kids at an early age. Information does not create teenage pregnancy or STD. We need to start talking about the whole host of sexual problems at an earlier age. Thank god for the internet. I have learned alot from the internet that no one would have told me. My friends and peers just dont talk about things like that.

[unsub2O17]

Fucked up, maybe. More so than bi or straight. I doubt it. Friends of mine who happed to be female are always complaining their guys don't always rise to the occasion. My friend that owns a sex shop in a conservitive western city says most of his bondage merchandise goes to straight couples. And the thing that suprised me the most is from what I am hearing from my sex shop owner and lady friends, a lot of straight guys like a little something up their anus. Hang ups about sex. Yes, we all have them. Most of us grow a little each day. By the time we have out grown these hang-up we will be to old to enjoy sex. Parents and grandparents wake up and start talking about sex with your kids at an early age. Information does not create teenage pregnancy or STD. We need to start talking about the whole host of sexual problems at an earlier age. Thank god for the internet. I have learned alot that no one would have never told me. My friends and peers just dont talk about things like that.

 

The existence of this forum and review site backs up exactly what you said.