Is therapeutic m4m massage unrealistic?

[corndog]

Here's another offshoot of the other current Spa threads... (maybe this section should be temporarily renamed "Ask a Masseur, starring Josephga.")

 

Is it unrealistic for a m4m masseur to really limit himself to strictly therapeutic massage? Do all clients, even those opting for a therapeutic massage actually want/expect a release?

 

I'm motivated to ask this question because based on various other postings by Joseph, I get the impression that giving a release is a distasteful "necessary evil" of the massage business. Please don't take this question the wrong way, Joseph, but I get the impression that you really don't like this part of your work, but you've also said that you've given over 2400 releases.

 

Speaking for myself, I've enjoyed massages that have taken a sensual turn, but when I'm with a skilled and talented masseur, I hate the idea that they would feel this was necessary.

[orbital sander]

In my own experiences, I have had many therapeutic massages from men, and it has always been a professional experience, without any "happy endings" (except the enjoyment of a good massage). For me it has never been sexual. I do not see massage as sexual at all, to me it is a form of health care. If I am seeking a sexual experience, I look in other places than massage.

[josephga]

It depends on where you are located. or the open mindless of your city. A male massage therapist has to market himself 3 times as hard as a female. some spa's won't hire men. even when some do males don't get as much business as females. allot of males that hire me would never feel comfortable asking for a male in a spa. allot of dr's also will not hire males. over the years well since 1998 I've spoken with allot of males. keep in mind I'm talking about licensed massage therapist only. All told me they could never make a living in their city giving strictly therapeutic only massages. A good massage school cost in the range of over 9000.00. And to make a decent living allot of us had to turn too offering sensual massage.. Do I hate it? No over the years it's something I've just grown to accept it has part of doing business. In a ideal world id love to have 15 therapeutic only clients a week. I knew a guy str8 guy once that did sensual massage he hated it however he had to pay an ex wife child support.. I get enjoyment out of providing therapeutic massage knowing I helped someone that suffered from chronic pain. In massage school they teach us that sensual massage isn't therapeutic. I disagree for some it can be. I had a client once who's wife of 30 years past away. He desired the touch of someone anyone. And I personally would consider our weekly session therapeutic too him... The part I don't like is that because I offer sensual massage there are some out there that won't take me seriously and that once you cross over to sensual massage you are now a joke in their eyes. you take someone that's been injured in a accident allot of those people would never hire someone who has crossed over into that line of work. which is a let down because those are the clients i originally went into business for What I do hate is clients that expect me to perform anything beyond that release because they are simple to cheap to pay for an escort.... that's the most honest answer i have take it for what it's worth

[corndog]

Joseph, I knew you'd have an interesting perspective on this, and I appreciate your honesty.

 

All of these threads started with a discussion of how to communicate expectations between a client and masseur, and, alas, I don't think we're really any closer to having a good answer.

[+ beethoven]

There's a very good M4M masseur, Burin, in New York (72nd St. and Central Park West) who advertises therapeutic massage, and that's exactly what you get. He's a very nice, sincere guy, and gives an excellent massage at a reasonable fee. As I recall, there is no happy ending. He has about 50 reviews. His photo on the ad shows him wearing a shirt, which I think he removes during the massage, but he does not do the massage in the nude, or in a jock, or in a thong. And there are other masseur ads which go out of their way to say "no sex, no happy ending." Not many of those, but you can find them easily.

[maxwellissmart]

It depends on where you are located. or the open mindless of your city. A male massage therapist has to market himself 3 times as hard as a female. some spa's won't hire men. even when some do males don't get as much business as females. allot of males that hire me would never feel comfortable asking for a male in a spa. allot of dr's also will not hire males. over the years well since 1998 I've spoken with allot of males. keep in mind I'm talking about licensed massage therapist only. All told me they could never make a living in their city giving strictly therapeutic only massages. A good massage school cost in the range of over 9000.00. And to make a decent living allot of us had to turn too offering sensual massage.. Do I hate it? No over the years it's something I've just grown to accept it has part of doing business. In a ideal world id love to have 15 therapeutic only clients a week. I knew a guy str8 guy once that did sensual massage he hated it however he had to pay an ex wife child support.. I get enjoyment out of providing therapeutic massage knowing I helped someone that suffered from chronic pain. In massage school they teach us that sensual massage isn't therapeutic. I disagree for some it can be. I had a client once who's wife of 30 years past away. He desired the touch of someone anyone. And I personally would consider our weekly session therapeutic too him... The part I don't like is that because I offer sensual massage there are some out there that won't take me seriously and that once you cross over to sensual massage you are now a joke in their eyes. you take someone that's been injured in a accident allot of those people would never hire someone who has crossed over into that line of work. which is a let down because those are the clients i originally went into business for What I do hate is clients that expect me to perform anything beyond that release because they are simple to cheap to pay for an escort.... that's the most honest answer i have take it for what it's worth

 

That's funny—everyone I know who has ever gotten a therapeutic massage always asks for a male and has been disappointed with massages given by women.

[josephga]

When i worked at a spa the front desk people would ask if they wanted a male or female the majority asked for females. when I worked at a sport clinic from 1998 to 2003 I was their only choice. But there it was a whole different atmosphere. I was led by a head physical therapist It wasn't the typical spa fluff and buff stuff. I had to not only do massage but had to ast the physical therapist in treatments. there you couldn't just walk in and get a massage a DR had to prescribe physical therapy and massage just happen to be part of it. I'm hoping to start some type of RN program next year and only take enough clients to pay the bills until I graduate that and get a job. At 14 years I've lasted longer than most. the average massage therapist quits after 5

[gallahadesquire]

i know you're asking masseurs, but let me add my viewpoint:

 

I've had three masseurs of more than just a quick visit. One, of a ten year relationship, used to so some light manipulation of my member. A little sensual, certainly not erotic, and draping was available had I wanted it. He was always fulled clothed, except for maybe a shirt loss.

 

The second one was always strictly clothed and, although I wasn't draped, he never touched me. Says he never touches anyone.

 

The third - it goes from therapeutic to sensual to erotic to omigod, what just happened!

 

So, at least on my scorecard: Therapeutic is therapeutic. ANd in this old, worn out body, I really need the massage part and not the naughty bits.

[josephga]

something else I've observed over the years. The majority of openly gay male clients I get care more about the therapeutic aspect of a massage then the sensual aspect. A large number of them could care less if you do the release or not. Where closeted guys, married or those identifying themselves as straight tend to be more disappointed if a release is ignored..

[unsure]

I've had many massages at regular places like at the chain Massage Envy. I always ask for a male massage therapist now. I tried a few women massage therapists before, but they usually didn't use a deep enough pressure like the guys who were stronger could. I currently have a regular massage therapist who's a 30 something year old guy and does an awesome job. I request him every time and he's a friend now. There is no release at the end and he is fully clothed. There would be no way that he would ever even cross into something more sensual or erotic and he is married too.

[Diverdan]

To answer the question directly, NO, it is not unrealistic. I have had many therapeutic massages in my life by male therapists, with no hint of the "sensual or erotic"... maybe it is my age, but I truly appreciate a therapeutic massage. I need it for my lower back and my shoulders. As I have put on some other threads, I have had therapeutic massages that have turned into somthing more, I think because of the chemistry between the two fo us. I very much respect the profession and appreciate a great massage. Most women can not provide the pressure that I like in a massage, but I had the tables turned on me once in Hawaii. I went to the spa in a very famous resort and booked a massage and asked for a masseur. They told me the guy that usually was there, was not available, but they had a woman that they were sure would be good. Well,I got into the room and this stout Russian woman came in and said to me, "I understand you don't like women to give you a massage because we can't use enough pressure".... I was surprised by her forward manner, and she contined, "You can be sure I can use as much pressure as you can take".... and she proceeded to give me one of the very best massages I have ever had. She got a big tip as a result... but I have never forgotten that episode. so, ask for what you want, and respect the guys who focus on giving you a therapeutic massage if that is what you want... otherwise book an escort who might start with a "massage"

DD

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I've been going to the same gay couple for a four-handed massage for three years. I originally found them through an erotic ad on craig's list. The massage is truly therapeutic and there has never been any touching. The closest thing to erotic is that all three of us are nude.

[Racketjock]

My bi-weekly go to guy for the past 12 years is a strapping young (now in his early 30's) young man with a graduate degree who still does massage on the side for extra cash. He has multiple black belts in various martial arts, wears thin gauze pants (commando, no less), and will take his shirt off to give me the best 90 minute therapeutic massage I have ever had, wanted, or needed. He is sexy as hell and nothing sexual has every happened and I consider him a friend. I frankly trust him as a therapist and he makes me and my body feel better. I would say that it feels a bit sensual, as whether we are doing traditional swedish, deep tissue, or Thai massage, he is comfortable with me as I am with him, and we share mutual respect. I consider myself lucky.

[josephga]

I've been going to the same gay couple for a four-handed massage for three years. I originally found them through an erotic ad on craig's list. The massage is truly therapeutic and there has never been any touching. The closest thing to erotic is that all three of us are nude.

 

I've had a few like that no touching, no release they are nudist and just want you nude as well when doing the massage. However it's hard too get clients like that they are rare. most think being nude = sexual contact or because your nude they assume you want their hands on you. I personally find light touching fine but that's not always the case. you get these guys that want to start groping the moment they hit the table touching and grabbing aggressively. I've had guys grab at my balls or worse try to stick their dry finger in your ass. the only thing this type of behavior results in is a piss pour massage

[bigvalboy]

I've had a few like that no touching, no release they are nudist and just want you nude as well when doing the massage. However it's hard too get clients like that they are rare. most think being nude = sexual contact or because your nude they assume you want their hands on you. I personally find light touching fine but that's not always the case. you get these guys that want to start groping the moment they hit the table touching and grabbing aggressively. I've had guys grab at my balls or worse try to stick their dry finger in your ass. the only thing this type of behavior results in is a piss pour massage

 

I personally get therapeutic massages about half the time. I go to Burke Williams in LA, it is very legit, and I routinely get a massage there. I find it more relaxing when you don't want something to happen. They don't always have male massage therapists available, so I have gotten massages from the women.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I love my erotic massages also, just not every time. I do have a couple of regular guys that do erotic massages, but I don't always want the 'mutual touch' or the 'release'...both of these guys have really soothing, warm and inviting spaces for a massage room. One guy has a water fall in the room, with candles and soft music. He is really a sweet guy. I will sometimes tell him that I want a massage and that's it.

[Lohengrin1979]

I think it's unrealistic for a therapist to place a "therapeutic only" ad on the massagem4m site as it's currently structured. Massagem4m is not selling healing therapy, it's selling hot men. For a therapist to sign up to that site expecting to not have to field many inquiries as to whether or not they offer a bit "extra" is a bit disingenuous, in my opinion.

 

As for me, I'm with BVB. Over half of my massages are therapeutic. My main guy will get be nude during the massage but that's it. No happy ending. It's harder to find certified therapists who will offer extras but they are there and eventually you just learn to recognize the quality of a massage therapists skill, or lack thereof.