How best to communicate with a masseur and express what you are looking for?

[corndog]

...it wasn't as if he saw a ad from me on masseur finder or massage m4m. I also advertise with a local gym, A doctor and other therapeutic outlets.

 

I certainly can't say for sure, but it's possible that he saw your advertisement in several places and mentioned the one that had the best rates or seemed the most respectable. Before I hire anyone, I usually do a little googling and find their listings in several different places.

[josephga]

I'm not sure this guy was 72 years old I'm not sure he was that computer knowledgeable. when he called and i asked if i could text him directions? He said no that he was old school and didnt text nor own a cell that he only had a landline.

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, the main point here, which I'll repeat one more time: you can't ask a legitimate masseur the "right" questions. If you ask many masseurs any question of even a remotely sexual nature, they'll assume that you're mainly looking for a sexual experience, and usually turn down the appointment.

 

I'm confused corn. if you are looking for just massage, then there is no need to ASK a sex related question, and if you are looking for sex, and the escort aint into it and turns down the session, you really have lost Nothing, cause he wasnt gonna give you what you wanted anyway.... Right ???.

[corndog]

JJ, as I explained earlier in this thread,

In my case, when seeking massage, I'm usually looking for a good, real, therapeutic massage, but I want the experience to feel friendly and human, not cold and clinical. I enjoy a sensual aspect to the massage, but I want it to be a natural part of the overall experience, not the focus or goal.

 

I'm not sure why you continue to insist upon interjecting your opinion into this thread when you've stated clearly that you don't get massages, and therefore your opinions about how to interact with massage therapists is basically blind conjecture. I know that you don't relate to the difficulty posed by the original poster; you've made that clear. Your responses come off as dismissive, as if to say "this isn't a legitimate question." I'm all for lively conversation here, but I'm frustrated that you always seem to need to have the last word, even when, by your own admission, your experience with the topic at hand is very limited. You may think that open conversation is good, but I think your dismissive posts serve to shut down the conversation more than to further it.

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, as I explained earlier in this thread,

 

 

I'm not sure why you continue to insist upon interjecting your opinion into this thread when you've stated clearly that you don't get massages, and therefore your opinions about how to interact with massage therapists is basically blind conjecture. I know that you don't relate to the difficulty posed by the original poster; you've made that clear. Your responses come off as dismissive, as if to say "this isn't a legitimate question." I'm all for lively conversation here, but I'm frustrated that you always seem to need to have the last word, even when, by your own admission, your experience with the topic at hand is very limited. You may think that open conversation is good, but I think your dismissive posts serve to shut down the conversation more than to further it.

 

Maybe but its "common sense" corn and perhaps THATS what is lacking ???? You dont need to spend money on massage to know how to negotiate a business deal. You werent being dismissed, just not agreed with. You are making this topic into WAY more than it needs to be, and complicating it because perhaps you dont have the social skills needed to navigate your way thru it ? Being tongue tied doesnt work it ANY scenario. If you want something, you damn well ASK for it. As for Last Words, someone always HAS the last word.... clearly you prefer it to be YOU ? Sorry this is a conversation and NOT a competition, and this is how conversations work. If the topic hasnt been satisfied you continue the discussion.

You dont strive to be the "Winner".... As Mary J Blige would say...."No more Drama in my life".

[corndog]

JJ, I'm all for "common sense," but I think that the original question was motivated by the fact that common sense, social skills and the basic ability to negotiate a business deal are complicated in this transaction. You seem to be saying that anyone who has had difficulty with this is a loser who lacks these qualities. And yet, you admit that you've never navigated this particular situation.

 

As for having the last word, no, I don't want it. I'd like this conversation to continue with other points of view. Your point of view is clear: everyone else is an idiot. I'd like to hear from some others, but your comments don't encourage dialog.

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, I'm all for "common sense," but I think that the original question was motivated by the fact that common sense, social skills and the basic ability to negotiate a business deal are complicated in this transaction. You seem to be saying that anyone who has had difficulty with this is a loser who lacks these qualities. And yet, you admit that you've never navigated this particular situation.

 

As for having the last word, no, I don't want it. I'd like this conversation to continue with other points of view. Your point of view is clear: everyone else is an idiot. I'd like to hear from some others, but your comments don't encourage dialog.

 

Nope, never made that statement, nor is it MY feeling. All I said was that I didnt understand the lack of an open, honest conversation with the hire, and noone has presented anything that remotely suggests a plausible reason. As for people NOT posting, perhaps they just have nothing to say on the matter. If anyone is intimidated by a stranger posting on a website, they are silly. If you view the list of site attendees at any given time, you will notice that "guests" far outnumber members, and of those members, only a handful post in general. Although you want to attribute the reason for that to ME, I aint buyin it. Some poeple just cant be bothered with posting. There are several Threads I dont post in, and those have NO participation either, so where lies your logic ????

[corndog]

All I said was that I didnt understand the lack of an open, honest conversation with the hire, and noone has presented anything that remotely suggests a plausible reason.

 

Reading skills, jj... several posts have explained that many masseurs will shut down the conversation immediately if they turn the slightest bit sexual. Do I need to find those posts for you?

 

If you view the list of site attendees at any given time, you will notice that "guests" far outnumber members, and of those members, only a handful post in general.

 

As has been discussed numerous times before, perhaps the reason people don't post here is that they don't interpret it as a friendly, inviting environment. Perhaps they're put off by the apparent attitudes of posters like you, who are dismissive to anyone who has an opinion different that yours, and that seems to have an opinion about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. You immediately came to mind when I read this article about "Answer Syndrome." http://io9.com/5912201/do-you-suffer-from-answer-syndrome/

[jjkrkwood]

Reading skills, jj... several posts have explained that many masseurs will shut down the conversation immediately if they turn the slightest bit sexual. Do I need to find those posts for you?

 

 

 

As has been discussed numerous times before, perhaps the reason people don't post here is that they don't interpret it as a friendly, inviting environment. Perhaps they're put off by the apparent attitudes of posters like you, who are dismissive to anyone who has an opinion different that yours, and that seems to have an opinion about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. You immediately came to mind when I read this article about "Answer Syndrome." http://io9.com/5912201/do-you-suffer-from-answer-syndrome/

 

Your comments are ludicrous. If you are looking for sex in a session, and the escort shuts down if you ask a sexual question, then you probably wouldnt get the sex you were looking for anyway if you booked without asking. It would cost you money and you would leave with Blue balls. I remember your posts which made no sense to me at the time eitther. I have reading skills dear, but you dont have comprehension skills if you cant see the point here.... Yes I really think one member on this site gives it its Tone. I have never dismissed anyones opinion, simply countered with another perspective. If you feel dismissed when people have different points of view, thats Sad. And as for having an opinion on EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT, that comment is a bit "drama queen-esque".... There are literally hundreds of subjects on this board, and on any given day, I post my opinion to maybe 10 at most. Hardly intrusive or excessive, and isnt participation the goal of this site ? Or are you just one of those members thats here to cackle about "BOYS" ???? Thats OK too, but you shouldnt hold YOUR goals for being here to others.

[bigvalboy]

Reading skills, jj...

 

Yes Corndog... LOL. There is that problem.

[jjkrkwood]

Yes Corndog... LOL. There is that problem.

 

Rah-Rah-Rah, shake those pom-poms

 

How's about something with a little more substance ?

[corndog]

Your comments are ludicrous.

I have never dismissed anyones opinion...

And, you don't see any contradiction in those statements?

 

If you are looking for sex in a session, and the escort shuts down if you ask a sexual question...

Reading skills, jj... this thread isn't about escorts it is about masseurs.

 

...then you probably wouldnt get the sex you were looking for anyway...

Reading skills, again. I explained several times that I wasn't looking for sex, I was looking for a sensual massage.

 

http://io9.com/5912201/do-you-suffer...swer-syndrome/

[jjkrkwood]

And, you don't see any contradiction in those statements?

 

 

Reading skills, jj... this thread isn't about escorts it is about masseurs.

 

 

Reading skills, again. I explained several times that I wasn't looking for sex, I was looking for a sensual massage.http://io9.com/5912201/do-you-suffer...swer-syndrome/

 

Which translates to you looking for a Happy ending. We arent stupid here corn. Stop sugar-coating.

No contradiciton from me, The recent comment was Intentional. Escort vs masseur, same thing to ME if SENSUAL is involved. Sensual is merely code for Sexual, and any masseur that gives you a sexual experience IMO is an escort.... You want Sensual, just fuckin ASK for it, and risk the reaction. Jesus !

[bigvalboy]

How's about something with a little more substance ?

 

LOL...like your thread on 'hand jobs'? AND it is not "How's" it is just "How"

[bigvalboy]

Sensual is merely code for Sexual, and any masseur that gives you a sexual experience IMO is an escort....

 

Completely incorrect. Erotic means sexual. Sensual is just that, a more intimate experience. Depending on the masseur, sometimes they do consider sensual a sexual experience, but is not the norm, and certainly anything sexual should not be assumed here, hence the confusion, and need for discussion. That is why Corndog was saying that he wanted a sensual massage, but not necessarily a sexual experience. There is a huge difference. That is were some of the confusion comes into play, when people who never get a massage, decide that they have all the answers, and try and tell others what they should or should not be doing.

[Lohengrin1979]

Which translates to you looking for a Happy ending. We arent stupid here corn. Stop sugar-coating.

No contradiciton from me, The recent comment was Intentional. Escort vs masseur, same thing to ME if SENSUAL is involved. Sensual is merely code for Sexual, and any masseur that gives you a sexual experience IMO is an escort.... You want Sensual, just fuckin ASK for it, and risk the reaction. Jesus !

 

If you hired massuers, which you've repeatedly said you don't, you would know that SENSUAL, as it relates to m4m massages doesn't necessarily translate to happy ending. It doesn't even always translate into a nude massage. It could merely mean that you, the client, are undraped, and that the therapist won't be as afraid of your glutes and inner thighs as a spa therapist usually is.

 

You've also been told by a number of people, including Josephga, a certified therapist, that if you ASK for any kind of sensual or sexual services over the phone or by email, you are likely to scare the therapists away as it raises flags to them concerning law enforcement or the censure of their state boards. So your solution of "just ask" would only result in many phone calls and emails wasted. Yet you will persist in providing your ill-informed advice, for reasons known only to yourself.

 

As for me, I never discuss extras by email and usually make a habit of not requesting them at all until I get a feel for the masseur after the first appointment anyway. As Travis69(i think) said, a lot of it depends on chemistry. If the first massage went great, whatever type it happened to be, then I might bring extra money with me to the following sessions and broach the subject of extras in person. I do this, regardless of whether the masseur is solely offering therapeutic. I've received polite no's as answer, but more often than not, even the therapeutic therapists are willing to offer a bit more, be it nudity or interactivity once you've shown that your primary focus is the massage and you don't paw at them. I have never had a therapist get offended and discontinue service over my questions but I assume it's because I'm polite and matter of fact about it.

 

Just my two cents.

[jjkrkwood]

If you hired massuers, which you've repeatedly said you don't, you would know that SENSUAL, as it relates to m4m massages doesn't necessarily translate to happy ending. It doesn't even always translate into a nude massage. It could merely mean that you, the client, are undraped, and that the therapist won't be as afraid of your glutes and inner thighs as a spa therapist usually is.

 

You've also been told by a number of people, including Josephga, a certified therapist, that if you ASK for any kind of sensual or sexual services over the phone or by email, you are likely to scare the therapists away as it raises flags to them concerning law enforcement or the censure of their state boards. So your solution of "just ask" would only result in many phone calls and emails wasted. Yet you will persist in providing your ill-informed advice, for reasons known only to yourself.

 

As for me, I never discuss extras by email and usually make a habit of not requesting them at all until I get a feel for the masseur after the first appointment anyway. As Travis69(i think) said, a lot of it depends on chemistry. If the first massage went great, whatever type it happened to be, then I might bring extra money with me to the following sessions and broach the subject of extras in person. I do this, regardless of whether the masseur is solely offering therapeutic. I've received polite no's as answer, but more often than not, even the therapeutic therapists are willing to offer a bit more, be it nudity or interactivity once you've shown that your primary focus is the massage and you don't paw at them. I have never had a therapist get offended and discontinue service over my questions but I assume it's because I'm polite and matter of fact about it.

 

Just my two cents.

 

Well your hiring experience surely trumps my ill-informed advice, but sorry Loh, I am just NOT of the mindset for playing games.. I'm an adult, I lay things out on the table. If you guys wanna take your chances and play that cat and mouse thing waiting to see if a masseur will pickup on your "signals", GREAT. Maybe thats part of the fun for you ? I think its childish, and yes, while i have NEVER purchased a massage, my friends do all the time so I have had the experience by osmosis, and can speak as intelligently as others can on the subject, although with a diff point of view. - PEACE.

[Lohengrin1979]

Well your hiring experience surely trumps my ill-informed advice, but sorry Loh, I am just NOT of the mindset for playing games.. I'm an adult, I lay things out on the table. If you guys wanna take your chances and play that cat and mouse thing waiting to see if a masseur will pickup on your "signals", GREAT. Maybe thats part of the fun for you ? I think its childish, and yes, while i have NEVER purchased a massage, my friends do all the time so I have had the experience by osmosis, and can speak as intelligently as others can on the subject, although with a diff point of view. - PEACE.

 

Sigh, I shouldn't respond but I'm going to anyway. It is puzzling to me how you can read that I am "polite and matter of fact" about my inquiries and turn it into "signals" and a "cat and mouse" game. Let's not forget childish though you did concede that such childish games might be fun for me, so at least I don't have your complete disapproval.

 

I highly doubt that any of your friends who hire all the time go around asking certified massage therapists how much they charge for a hand job. If they do, they're certainly experiencing the kind of response that josehpga and others have outlined.

 

I'm not calling your intelligence into question at all but your different point of view happens to be wrong in this case. If you want to let it stand, that's your affair, but clients who are new to hiring masseurs should not be misled by your misinformation. An adult, which you are by your own definition would be able to admit his mistake.

 

Regards,

Lohengrin

[josephga]

When someone calls me I read back the ad copy that I have on line and below. if they text me I have a copy saved to my phone i just copy and paste. If that's not enough for them then they can move on...

 

I am certified with 750-hour massage school training. This also means that I am Nationally Certified by the National Certification Board for Massage Therapy & Bodywork. I also spent 8 years in the Army prior to attending massage school

 

I offer in-studio Massage in a immaculate, healing space using candles & a fantastic selection of customized music.

 

Normal session is a combination of Full-body Swedish, deep tissue, hot stones, extended leg glut work & stretching. You will find my session to be relaxing, soothing, and stress relieving. De-stress from the dis-stress of everyday life.

 

manscaping available 20.00 when purchased with a massage.

 

Amenities: include a easy-access location, Free Parking, Pet free for those with allergies. Spa room, Professional Table, Temperpiedic face cradle, clean crisp linens, unscented cream, hot stones, hot steamed towels, ice cold bottled water. shower available.

 

 

 

All major Credit Cards accepted.

 

 

No calls after 8 p.m., please.

 

Please support your certified massage therapists

[jjkrkwood]

Sigh, I shouldn't respond but I'm going to anyway. It is puzzling to me how you can read that I am "polite and matter of fact" about my inquiries and turn it into "signals" and a "cat and mouse" game. Let's not forget childish though you did concede that such childish games might be fun for me, so at least I don't have your complete disapproval.

 

I highly doubt that any of your friends who hire all the time go around asking certified massage therapists how much they charge for a hand job. If they do, they're certainly experiencing the kind of response that josehpga and others have outlined.

 

I'm not calling your intelligence into question at all but your different point of view happens to be wrong in this case. If you want to let it stand, that's your affair, but clients who are new to hiring masseurs should not be misled by your misinformation. An adult, which you are by your own definition would be able to admit his mistake.

 

Regards,

Lohengrin

 

Just to be clear for YOU Loh, I was not giving Inofrmation as you call it, I was giving my opinion, which is quite different. One doesnt need to experience something to have an Opinion on it. If that were the case, there would be very little conversation in the world. Happy Trails ......

[citylaw1]

while i have NEVER purchased a massage, my friends do all the time so I have had the experience by osmosis, and can speak as intelligently as others can on the subject, although with a diff point of view. - PEACE.

 

I have 2 friends that are pilots for Jetblue. We talk endlessly about air travel and the associated weather patterns, wake turbulence, and necessary re-routing. Through osmosis, I feel qualified to navigate flights now!

[jjkrkwood]

I have 2 friends that are pilots for Jetblue. We talk endlessly about air travel and the associated weather patterns, wake turbulence, and necessary re-routing. Through osmosis, I feel qualified to navigate flights now!

 

If you are gonna make a point Mr attorney, be sensible, and speak apples to apples. Certainly I dont have training or license to fly a fucking plane. Hiring a masseur isnt a science OR a skill, as some of you would like to think. Its a phone call or text and a payment, and some lying on a table getting rubbed. Your sarcastic post is LOST on me sir....

[citylaw1]

Your sarcastic post is LOST on me sir....

 

Not shocking ... Sarcasm is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt",[1] usually conveyed through irony or understatement.[2] Most authorities distinguish sarcasm from irony;[3] however, others argue that sarcasm may or often does involve irony[4] or employs ambivalence.[5]

[cany10011]

Sorry to return to the original question, but wouldn't it be easier to search for an escort who "does" massage? That way, you know you're going to get a very happy ending and an average massage.

 

Or if you want an excellent massage, look for a licensed massage therapist and find an escort for your other release.

[Terpmaniac]

Sorry to return to the original question, but wouldn't it be easier to search for an escort who "does" massage? That way, you know you're going to get a very happy ending and an average massage.

 

Or if you want an excellent massage, look for a licensed massage therapist and find an escort for your other release.

 

You know I used to be of that mindset. But I have hired a few "escorts" who also provide massages and some of them were fantastic. Gio(the big hunky Brazilian on M4M)comes to mind. He is a hugely popular escort(with an AMAZING BODY and just as sweet as can be) and his massage skills are out of this world! I was really surprised.

 

terp