Advice for virgin bottoms?

[Guest ncm2169]

I didn't want to hijack a recent thread from someone who had finally "successfully bottomed", and I know there are several references to this topic in the archives, but sometimes a "fresh" perspective helps.

 

I plan on "taking the plunge" in a few weeks. I'm interested in hearing any and all thoughts/recommendations about douching, positions, getting "opened up" by being fingered and/or rimmed, relaxing/pushing down to "let it in", lube, practicing with a dildo, etc. }(

 

For those of you who have "successfully bottomed", what exactly does that mean to you? :o

[Uncle Bill]

You dog! Will your "plunge" be with anyone I know? ... LOL ;-)

 

I'll follow this thread and your experience closely as I've had the same thought.

[Spida]

As an old pro!! Okay not even a pro yet! I would say relax relax relax. I was on my stomach to start then on my back! Neither seemed easier to me.. Liked looking at him as he plowed me.. (okay I didn't exactly get a plow but it was my first time :-)

[Guest ncm2169]

Well, well, well. Another latent desire surfaces.;-)

 

P.S. I'll deal with you later. :o

[Guest ncm2169]

Thanks Spida! I hear ya. Good advice.

 

Come on guys. Let's hear more suggestions. I can't be the only one in this...ummm....position.}(

[Guest Pulsator]

When I was starting my career as a bottom, too many decades ago, my wise teacher said you break in by sitting on it - that gives the bottom maximum control of the speed of penetration. Once you've slowly lowered down and relaxed your sphincter muscles enough to feel comfortable, it is possible -- if you are reasonably nimble -- to re-position yourself on the side or bottom without your top pulling out.

Of course, use plenty of lube, and engage in plenty of foreplay - if you're totally turned on and really craving it, you'll accommodate it better.

I remember thinking during those early days of learning to bottom (from a top who was a caring and gentle teacher) that if all these belligerent world leaders could just get topped regularly and vigorously, war would be at an end....:-)

[VaHawk]

Just turn over and 'SMILE, SMILE, SMILE!!!' :7

[Mavica]

My experience

 

I've always been more of a top than a bottom. But, when I say to someone that I'm "versatile" I really mean it. When I find someone I'm attracted to, anything's possible. I often like to go with the flow/vibes.

 

I'm 53, and have been having sex with guys since I was 23. Lots of experience, in lots of different cultures. As for the many times I've bottomed . . . I think that I've been with only a handful of tops who were good at what they were doing; and I think that finding a good top is what will make the bottoming experience(s) enjoyable. I think that lots of tops are more interested in their own "getting off" than they are in working towards a mutually satisfying experience for both. When I'm in a "bottom mood" I'm in for the long haul, not a "stick it in for 10 minutes and we're done." The foreplay comment offered by someone above is one not to overlook. Having a top kiss me a couple of times, suck on my dick, roll-on a condom and lube the condom, and then roll me over and shove his cock up my ass without helping me relax my asshole, or even lubing me up . . . is a huge turn-off for me. As a bottom, you need to take some control of the experience, and communicate with the guy who's topping you. I try to tell the top the things that turn me off, turn me on, how long I like to go, favorite positions, etc. . . . and when/if I've had enough. If you want to enjoy yourself I think you have to communicate.

 

When I top, my actions are the result of the emotions/vibes I feel/get from the guy who's bottoming. Yea, I always have a plan in my head, something I've developed after being with the guy and soaking up the body language/emotions, and listening. Then, I ask my bottoms to breathe, relax, let it all out, to be as expressive and "in to it" as they can be, as emotional as they can . . . to hang it out there so I understand what gives them plesure/turns them on. I always ask my bottom the "turn on" questions before we start, I don't understand how either person can enjoy themselves without doing that. I'm a big believer in foreplay, and getting the bottom's hole ready for the task at hand. But, I've been surprised how many guys who want your cock, but get pissed when you try to work a finger, or two, into their hole to open it up. Go figure! Now, I've had some "Chatty Kathy" bottoms who like to carry-on a soap-opera discussion while your plowing away (God, it's always the ones you think are "butch"). . . and, if/when that turns me off, I just tell them to shut the fuck up and open their hole (so much for asking for expressions), and enjoy the ride!

 

Everybody's different, we have distsinct likes/dislikes, needs/wants . . . so what's "right" for one of us won't be right for you. Trust your instincts, learn when to say yes, and when to say "No," or "enough." And, enjoy the ride! As is often said, "Practice makes perfect."

[Guest ncm2169]

Hey thanks guys! Mavica, you're comments were WONDERFUL:-) !!

 

I'm thinking maybe I made this question too broad.x( Here's two specific questions I have:

 

** Does "pushing down/out" help you relax and allow for easier entry?

 

** What's this stuff about the "second wall"??

 

Sorry to be sooooo naive in my middle-age, but it's nice to have a site where we can ask these questions!!:+

[Mavica]

I don't buy into the "pushing down/out" theory. For me, what helps a guys cock go in easier is if I'm relaxed (and well-lubed). Foreplay is a very important part of the sex act; at least for me it is. If I'm not relaxed, it's a rough go, at first. And, with some guys, I just can't relax, and don't really know why. I think that the vibes I feel from the guy has a lot to do with my relaxing, and where we're doing it (location) can also be important (I prefer doing it in my bed vs. his. Then again, I do it in the baths . . . but that's another story!). I'm also not the type of bottom who's going to have the top lie down while I squat and sit on his cock . . . not me. My favorite position is on my back, looking up. I don't think I've heard the "second wall" term used before with guys. Maybe there's something more than the spincter muscle that has to be penetrated, but once it's in . . . and you'll know when it's in . . . it's in! Ride 'em cowboy! When I'm topping, the thing that frustrates me most is when the bottom can't relax, and it's hard to stick my cock up his ass. Once in, some guys are so unrelaxed, it's as if they're fighting you . . . and some are. Many of the guys I've topped have little experience, and I do try to make things easier by working through the scenario I describe in my earlier comments before fucking. I think that if you concentrate on finding out what relaxes you most you'll have the key to a good bottom experience. Bottoms up! :-)

[jack]

ncm, no asshole likes to be surprised. In addition to all the above, about an hour or so prior to the engagement, prepare your asshole with dildo activities including lots of lube in and around your asshole and all over the didlo which should be pleasantly in the six inch range. Ease the thing in and play with it, push it gently in and out for about fifteen minutes.

 

Plus, prior to the didlo routine, one Fleet enima up you butt about an hour and a half before will give you peace of mind. Then, the dildo drill. Doing these two things will prepare you for happy times for a real nice fucking which, if done properly, will give you a glimce of how wonderful male sex can be. (Deep kiss and have him pull your cock while you're in progress . . . .);-)

[Guest ncm2169]

Hey thanks again for all the good advice.:o I know this has been discussed before, but on the Fleet enema deal...I recall reading something about just using a "half"?? Any other advice on this matter??:+

[VaHawk]

Good God dude, I don't believe it required this much effort and preparation to land a man on the moon! http://64.207.13.28/mysmilies/contrib/corky/corkysm7.gif If you need to do all this then perhaps you should reconsider if bottoming is really for you? http://216.40.249.192/mysmilies/contrib/corky/corkysm48.gif I always find it amusing that those who are bottoming for the first time always advertise and/or want to start with an 8 incher or more! Start with something smaller, with someone experienced with newbies, "douche really well", use good lube and go slow and easy.

http://216.40.249.192/mysmilies/otn/funny/smileysex5.gif

[Guest BenAJ]

Yes it even says on the instructions not to use the entire bottle. Also, some say it is best to use just tap water. Empty out the "solution" and just substitute tap water will work just as well without having to use the "chemicals".

 

They mainly say this if you douche a lot to avoid the effects of using the chemicals.

 

Good luck!

[Bob]

I am also a very inexperienced bottom but after a couple of recent mindblowing experiences I want MORE. Many years of topping has taught me the importance of sanitation but I never realized how the good bottoms achieved it. I thank you for the information on douching but could somone tell me more. As soon as I find an excellent top ala my ultimate fantasy SmallTownJohn I hope to spend for an overnight and I wonder about douching in that situtaion. How to remain clean clean throughout the night and into the next morning? How to delicately excuse yourself to go douche? Since most dates begin with dinner doesn't that create potential problems? I'm sorry to be so stupid about an ugly topic but I want to do it right. Thank you.

[Guest Smoothee]

It all comes down to who's doing the topping. No matter how much you prepare, if he doesn't know what he's doing, it could be disastrous no matter how big his cock is.

[tanman4u]

Great topic and it's answered "almost" all of my questions. I too have been a confirmed top for years but have recently (and usually with an escort) found that I like to bottom occasionally. While I haven't douched I'm very meticulous about being clean and haven't (yet) had an "accident". The problem is, no matter how good it's feeling, or how hot the guy is, I'm constantly worried by the "I need to take a dump" feeling. I've had no problems with big or small cocks and, again, have had no accidents but the feeling really takes away from the moment. Any suggestions?

Kev

[Luv2play]

ncm, I just wanted to comment on your "second hole" issue. It's an important consideration if your top is in the 9 inch range or beyond! I'm a VERY experienced bottom with quite a few miles on the clock and for many years I assumed that when engaged with a "well-endowed" top, a certain amount of discomfort was inevitable. Then I met an escort who explained the second hole, or sphincter, which lies behind the first by about 7 or 8 inches. This is the one that is penetrated when you are dealing with a "massive" invasion.}( Well, you have to have the top exercise the same type of gentle penetration at this second barrier as at the first. If he does, and works it gently till the sphincter relaxes, then he can plunge all the way in and you will be in for a great ride:7 If he doesn't, and he just rams it in, then it will feel like he is hitting organs, or a full stomach, or whatever, it will just be DAMN uncomfortable.

I am not into fistfucking so I don't know how they deal with this. Probably we are talking about an overwhelming invasion rather than just a massive one. Maybe the senses are totally overwhelmed. Fucking as a bottom is a more sublime experience, in my view.

[Guest ncm2169]

I know you posted before last weekend, and you spoke partially in jest, but maybe virgin bottoms OUGHT to take better precautions than NASA. x(

 

P.S. NO disrespect here for the weekend tragedy.:-( :-( :-(

[Guest ncm2169]

First, once again, a BIG THANX for all the wonderful replies. They just confirm that members here are exceptionally generous and helpful!! :)

 

Second, I've taken the "practice dildo" advice to...umm (well it's not my heart) ...and I'm happy to report that, through a combination of good lube, relaxing, and "pushing down" very mildly, entry is fairly quick and smooth, and once in, not at all uncomfortable.:o

 

Third, if I may pose one more question: I've always heard bottoms talk about the "prostate massage" while bottoming, and how it's soooo sexually stimulative. So far, my dildo hasn't "taken me there.";( Anyone want to talk to me (and all the other virgin bottoms who've posted in this thread) about this?? }(

[dick_nyc]

Believe me, when you find it you will know. When that button is pushed you will fly to the moon.